The Waves: Gender, Relationships, Feminism

Why is it that we can tell someone “I’m totally fine!” and they instantly know we’re not? Gestures, facial expressions, tone of voice, and other subtle nonverbal cues play a huge role in how we connect with one another. In this episode, host Charles Duhigg explores how we communicate without words, including a deep dive into the visual and tonal cues embedded in one of the biggest sitcoms of all time, The Big Bang Theory. He talks with Dr. Dustin York, a professor at Maryville University who studies nonverbal communication and worked in public relations for Barack Obama’s 2008 presidential campaign. He also sits down with Dave Goetsch, a co-executive producer and longtime writer for The Big Bang Theory, and journalist Jessica Radloff, who wrote an exhaustive book about the show. This Slate miniseries dives into the art and science of meaningful conversations, inspired by Duhigg’s bestselling book, Supercommunicators. Supercommunicators was produced by Sophie Summergrad and Derek John, who also did the sound design. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why are some people able to talk with just about anyone—about almost anything? One answer may lie in the questions we ask—and how deeply we ask them. Stick with us here… In this episode, host Charles Duhigg examines why deep questions are so powerful and how to ask them in everyday life. He talks to Nick Epley, psychology professor at the University of Chicago and lifelong researcher of deep questions. And we catch up with Mandy Len Catron, 10 years after she wrote the viral New York Times article “The 36 Questions That Lead to Love.” This Slate miniseries dives into the art and science of meaningful conversations, inspired by Duhigg’s bestselling book, Supercommunicators. Supercommunicators was produced by Derek John and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob. Joel Meyer is our supervising producer. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Rachelle Hampton and Candice Lim are joined by writer, comedian and Glamorous Trash host Chelsea Devantez to break down this watershed year of celebrity memoirs. The trio crowns the best and the worst titles, dissect what separates a good memoir from a great one, and reveal the shocking figure who has appeared in way more memoirs than you’d expect. This podcast is produced by Se’era Spragley Ricks, Daisy Rosario, Candice Lim and Rachelle Hampton. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week’s episode of The Waves, we say goodbye by contemplating a key word of the podcast - feminism. Slate senior producer Cheyna Roth and original Waves host June Thomas discuss what feminism means, the historical problems with the word, who should get to call themselves feminist, and so much more. Endorsements and Discussed in Episode: A Place of Our Own by June Thomas Between Two Wars by Cheyna Roth In Defense of Lean In Feminism on The Waves We Were Once a Family by Roxanna Asgarian What the Hart Family Murders Reveal About Foster Care on The Waves The Lady Vanishes In Slate Plus: What is the most feminist holiday? Podcast production by Cheyna Roth and Vic Whitley Berry with editorial oversight by Daisy Rosario and Alicia Montgomery. Send your comments and recommendations on what to cover to thewaves@slate.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this week’s episode of The Waves, why can’t the feminists all get along? Slate senior producer Cheyna Roth is joined by Danielle Kurtzleben, NPR political correspondent and author of the Substack, This F**king Job. They dig into what went wrong with Sheryl Sandberg’s book Lean In, why it wasn’t all completely wrong, and how to stop giving anti-feminists the ammo they need to attack. In Slate Plus: We’re talking May December! If you liked this episode, check out: We See Dead Girls Podcast production by Cheyna Roth with editorial oversight by Daisy Rosario and Alicia Montgomery. Send your comments and recommendations on what to cover to thewaves@slate.com. Clips Used: “Sheryl Sandberg: Women Must Learn to ‘Lean In’” - ABC News “I bought the book Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg” - Sarah Tollemache “Girl boss culture gotta go” - Rachel Turner If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/thewavesplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week’s episode of The Waves, we’re bringing out the dead girls. Everywhere you look in popular culture there seems to be a new movie, TV show or true crime documentary detailing the mystery of yet another woman’s death. At least, that was how author and guest Alice Bolin saw things when she wrote her book Dead Girls in 2018. She sits down with Slate senior producer Cheyna Roth to unpack what has - and hasn’t - changed in dead girl culture (from Twin Peak’s Laura Palmer to our persistent obsession with Elizabeth Short aka The Black Dahlia) and what this fixation says about all of us. In Slate Plus: What was really going on inside the Playboy Mansion. If you liked this episode, check out: I Don’t Care If You Like Me Podcast production by Cheyna Roth with editorial oversight by Daisy Rosario and Alicia Montgomery. Send your comments and recommendations on what to cover to thewaves@slate.com. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/thewavesplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this final episode of our Golden Bachelor recap episode of The Waves, Gerry’s makes his decision but maybe loses the audience along the way. Podcast production by Brandon Nix and Cheyna Roth with editorial oversight by Daisy Rosario and Alicia Montgomery. Send your comments and recommendations on what to cover to thewaves@slate.com. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on The Waves. Sign up now at slate.com/thewavesplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week’s episode of The Waves, with the emergence of streaming more Americans are becoming fans of Japanese anime. Within that media, viewers can see wide ranges of LGBTQ+ representation and gender presentation that often isn’t found in American animation. But like American media, not all of these representations are as nuanced as they should be. Host Vic Whitley-Berry is an avid anime fan, and they sit down with journalist Princess Weekes on femme representation in Japanese anime. In Slate Plus the messiness of shipping and fandoms. If you liked this episode, check out: Can Fairy Tales Be Feminist? Podcast production by Cheyna Roth and Vic Whitley-Berry with editorial oversight by Daisy Rosario and Alicia Montgomery. Send your comments and recommendations on what to cover to thewaves@slate.com. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/thewavesplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hot flashes, fatigue, and vaginal dryness were some of Katie’s first clues that her body was changing. Half the population will experience menopause, yet misinformation still abounds—with doctors ill-prepared to talk to patients about this major life transition. On this episode of How To!, journalist Susan Dominus joins us to share the knowledge she gained from working on her viral magazine piece, “Women Have Been Misled About Menopause.” She explains why women’s pain has been ignored for so long, where to look for information, and how to connect with others during this confusing phase of life. Resources mentioned: “If Men Could Menstruate” by Gloria Steinem What Fresh Hell Is This?: Perimenopause, Menopause, Other Indignities, and You by Heather Corinna The Menopause Manifesto: Own Your Health with Facts and Feminism by Dr. Jen Gunter Hot Flash Sonnets by Moira Egan Alloy Midi If you liked this episode, check out: How To Make Aging Easier for Everyone. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Jabari Butler. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week’s episode of The Waves, Gerry’s down to two women and two potential fantasy suites. How sweet do things actually get? Podcast production by Vic Whitley-Berry and Cheyna Roth with editorial oversight by Daisy Rosario and Alicia Montgomery. Send your comments and recommendations on what to cover to thewaves@slate.com. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on The Waves. Sign up now at slate.com/thewavesplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week’s episode of The Waves, we’re digging into the Bravo network. From Below Deck to Selling Sunset to Vanderpump Rules, the Bravo TV network is a reality television behemoth that has made millions on the backs of its female cast members. But is it actually good for women? ICYMI founding host Rachelle Hampton and culture writer Shamira Ibrahim discuss the current Bravo era, how much of Bravo belongs to famous producer Andy Cohen, why cast members can’t rely on a reunion to tell their stories, and whether the cast members of shows like the Real Housewives really have agency. In Slate Plus: Let’s talk Selling Sunset. If you liked this episode, check out: How to Be a Woman in Music Podcast production by Cheyna Roth with editorial oversight by Daisy Rosario and Alicia Montgomery. Send your comments and recommendations on what to cover to thewaves@slate.com. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on The Waves. Sign up now at slate.com/thewavesplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week’s episode of The Waves, we get the first Women Tell All episode of The Golden Bachelor. Waves recap co-hosts Cheyna Roth and Laura Stassi have some thoughts for Gerry. Podcast production by Vic Whitley-Berry and Cheyna Roth with editorial oversight by Daisy Rosario and Alicia Montgomery. Send your comments and recommendations on what to cover to thewaves@slate.com. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on The Waves. Sign up now at slate.com/thewavesplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week’s episode of The Waves, what’s it like to be an indie musician? Slate senior producer Cheyna Roth is joined by singer and songwriter Dessa. They dig into her newest album and how she has benefited from and been hurt by being a woman in the music industry. Later in the show they explore the breakup song - and all the gendered expectations that go along with writing one. In Slate Plus: What do a dentist, neuroscientists, and puppeteers all have in common? They’ve worked with Dessa. If you liked this episode, check out: Penis Politics Podcast production by Cheyna Roth and Vic Whitley-Berry with editorial oversight by Daisy Rosario and Alicia Montgomery. Send your comments and recommendations on what to cover to thewaves@slate.com. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/thewavesplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week’s episode of The Waves, Gerry visits the hometowns of the last 3 women standing on The Golden Bachelor. Unlike hometown dates in the past, Gerry isn’t meeting the parents. Instead, he’s getting to know the women’s kids and their grandkids. But it doesn’t make the hometown dates any less cringe. Slate Senior Producer Cheyna Roth and Dating While Gray host Laura Stassi recap the episode. Podcast production by Cheyna Roth and Vic Whitley-Berry with editorial oversight by Daisy Rosario and Alicia Montgomery. Send your comments and recommendations on what to cover to thewaves@slate.com. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on The Waves. Sign up now at slate.com/thewavesplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week’s episode of The Waves, the next presidential election is one year away and we are entering a storm of macho man politics. Slate senior producer Cheyna Roth is joined by NPR politics reporter Danielle Kurtzleben to talk about why men keep talking about their manly-men bonafides, how that affects women trying to be in politics, and more. More From Danielle and Mentioned in the Episode: All the Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me Before I Gave Birth by Danielle Kurtzleben The Race I Will Watch Most Closely in 2024 (Besides President) by Danielle Kurtzleben A Professional Lady Correspondent Stares Down Motherhood by Danielle Kurtzleben Male Democratic Candidates Will Have To Answer Gender Role Questions In 2020 Race by Danielle Kurtzleben How 2022 Became the Year of Over-the-Top Masculinity in Politics by Bill Donahue In Slate Plus: A check-in on new mom Danielle and whether she has in fact become a “mom” or just a person with a kid. If you liked this episode, check out: Are “Cool Moms” A Menace? Podcast production by Cheyna Roth and Vic Whitley-Berry with editorial oversight by Daisy Rosario and Alicia Montgomery. Send your comments and recommendations on what to cover to thewaves@slate.com. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/thewavesplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week’s episode of The Waves, Golden Bachelor Gerry is rapidly approaching hometown dates and needs to narrow the pool down to three. To get there, we have a passionate one-on-one date and a high-stakes group date. Slate senior producer Cheyna Roth and Dating While Gray host Laura Stassi give their thoughts. Podcast production by Cheyna Roth and Vic Whitley-Berry with editorial oversight by Daisy Rosario and Alicia Montgomery. Send your comments and recommendations on what to cover to thewaves@slate.com. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on The Waves. Sign up now at slate.com/thewavesplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week’s episode of The Waves, the Las Vegas Aces beat the New York Liberty to win their second WNBA championship in a row. But more impressive is that they played in front of one of the biggest crowds to ever attend a WNBA game. Slate senior supervising producer Daisy Rosario is joined by sports journalist and founder of the Power Plays newsletter Lindsay Gibbs to unpack the recent surge in popularity for women’s sports, why you should make an effort to support women’s basketball, and more. In Slate Plus: Lindsay tries to convince Daisy to get into women’s college basketball If you liked this episode, check out: Watch The Women’s World Cup, Damnit! Podcast production by Cheyna Roth and Vic Whitley-Berry with editorial oversight by Daisy Rosario and Alicia Montgomery. Send your comments and recommendations on what to cover to thewaves@slate.com. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on The Waves. Sign up now at slate.com/thewavesplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week’s episode of The Waves, Gerry says the D Word: Divorce. Laura Stassi, host of Dating While Gray, and Slate Senior Supervising Producer Daisy Rosario recap the fourth episode of The Golden Bachelor. Podcast production by Vic Whitley-Berry with editorial oversight by Daisy Rosario and Alicia Montgomery. Send your comments and recommendations on what to cover to thewaves@slate.com. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on The Waves. Sign up now at slate.com/thewavesplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week’s episode of The Waves, Laura Stassi is back in the host seat. Laura, host of the podcast Dating While Gray, still can’t get over what the heck is going on in 72-year-old Gerry Turner’s love life. Gerry is the first lead for The Bachelor spinoff The Golden Bachelor. While Gerry and the group of women vying for his heart are seniors over 65 years old, many of the age-old Bachelor franchise tropes are still being put to use. What is it about reality TV dating that forces the stakes to be so high? To figure this out, Vulture TV critic Kathryn VanArendonk joins us. In Slate Plus: Kathryn VanArendonk on a reality show focused on business connections – Project Greenlight: A New Generation If you liked this episode, check out: The Waves recaps The Golden Bachelor Why Did The Golden Bachelor Have to Be Like This? Podcast production by Vic Whitley-Berry with editorial oversight by Daisy Rosario and Alicia Montgomery. Send your comments and recommendations on what to cover to thewaves@slate.com. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/thewavesplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week’s episode of The Waves recapping The Golden Bachelor, we find Gerry in his feelings…again. Slate Senior Supervising Producer Daisy Rosario and Dating While Gray Host Laura Stassi give their thoughts on the third episode of Gerry’s journey to finding love and all the tears that go along with it. Podcast production by Vic Whitley-Berry with editorial oversight by Daisy Rosario and Alicia Montgomery. Send your comments and recommendations on what to cover to thewaves@slate.com. If you enjoyed this episode, subscribe to the feeds for The Waves and Dating While Grey wherever you listen to podcasts. Please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on The Waves. Sign up now at slate.com/thewavesplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices