No One Told Me

Marriage isn’t easy for anyone. You’re taking two people who maybe knew about 70% of each other, committing them for life + telling them – go figure out the other 30% as you go. I’ll be the first to say – 5% of the 30% you don’t know is discovered when you clean the bathroom for the first time after moving in together. Too much? That feels like maybe too much. But, like always, I went and found someone far ahead of me to help me navigate the really tough parts that we won’t always see coming. From communication, to new rhythms, to navigating conflict and of course the complete reset that happens once kids enter the mix. Marriage is hard – but it doesn’t have to stay hard. Push play to hear from a couple whose marriage shaped me just by proximity, and now through this conversation. The post What’s Hard About Marriage + What To Do About It appeared first on .

Why does this sometimes feel controversial? I want to raise my daughter in a world where these two words – women + leadership – doesn’t cause awe…but is the norm. I want her ceiling to be set only by her own personal, healthy boundaries. I want women & leadership to be less about fighting her way to the top and more about confidently walking into rooms based on her God-given gifting, talent and specific call on her life. I hope there are people leading her workplaces that set aside assumed narratives and instead take the time to know her and position her to grow. If this is what I want for her…I want to be a part of building it. Women like Kadi Cole, today’s podcast guest, are paving the way by walking into companies, organizations and churches with simple insights and strategies on how to create space for women to grow consistently. Today’s episode, Kadi talks about gender differences in leadership styles/approaches, the role of emotions in decision making, finding your leadership voice and tons more. This is a conversation always worth having. The post Women & Leadership appeared first on .

Honestly, there's not catchy title here. Just the cold hard facts that I'm reminded of almost daily. My mom always said your kids have a way of making a liar out of you...and she's right. I was the perfect parent before I had kids and now I'm trying to calculate if the protein in the ice cream I promised them for cleaning up counts toward their daily intake. Here's what I know - this is one area of life you *have to* find people ahead of you. Kristin Geren is one of those people for me. I love her kids and want to know literally everything she did to make them so great. So, I handed her a mic and asked all the things I need to know because parenting takes an overly populated village/metropolis. Push play to add us to your village - we all need each other. The post Parenting Is Hard appeared first on .

The current generation is the first to have their everyday influenced by people who are paid to...influence. The generation stepping into the workforce has a new category to consider and, yeah, I'm buying the gua sha because someone on TikTok told me it would give me a sharper jawline. But in this world of influencers - how often are we paying attention to what's going in and how it impacts what's going out? How often are we considering our own personal influence? Are we hiding behind the excuse that because we don't carry a certain number of follows, likes, shares that our influence isn't real and growing? And, most importantly, how are we wielding the influence? Because whether or not you agree - you carry influence. (I honestly can't believe how many times I just used the word influence.) Push play and share with your people who want to influence our world intentionally and actively instead of passively. The post What Do You Do With Your Influence? appeared first on .

Women today are a part of a pivotal generation. I mean, no pressure or anything. But we're seeing - and participating - in a generation pushing up against the tension of career and family without choosing one or the other. Both...we can have both. This is a generation of women choosing to dream and change course - even if it doesn't always makes sense. A generation of women raising women to know and believe that the opinions of others shouldn't always dictate her personal choices. This conversation with author, Kimberly Stuart, brought so much validation and let's be honest - empowerment - to the art of juggling career progression and motherhood. Her significant insights into pursuing professional dreams alongside personal commitments - chef's kiss. Kimberly takes a word that usually gives me hives - "patience" - and reconstructs it to be an asset rather than a punishment in pivotal seasons of life. We talk about dealing with other people’s opinions, the need to nurture passions and the importance of engaging your whole family in your dreams and pursuits. And I'm also outed for my complete lack of understanding of general geographical information. It is what it is. The post Restarts, Dreams Deferred & A Generation of Women Raising A Generation of Women Who Dream appeared first on .

New year, new you. Meh. If you like the vibe of fresh starts, resets new opportunities - but struggle to adjust mentally, emotionally and physically to what all that newness seems to require...go ahead and push play. Whether it's a new major, new job, new relationship, new role (that "mom" title will sendddd you) - whatever shifts usually comes with what the 90's called an identity-crisis. A whole "who am I and what the heck am I doing" mentality. The good news: It's normal. The bad news: It's real uncomfortable. My friend Taylor, who's navigated a lot of change in the past decade, grabs the mic to share what worked - and didn't - in these twists you don't always see coming. The post When New Circumstances Seem to Require a New You appeared first on .

I won't lie - I was on one when this was recorded. You can probably tell by the - forcefulness - of the reading...but I've had so many conversations lately with women who are riding a merry-go-round of the same sights and wondering why nothing changes. If you feel restless, there's actually one fairly common reason why. We'll talk about it in today's episode, along with how to get off the merry-go-round of approval and the practical things I do to make sure I'm functioning fully (or, like, mostly) in the gifting I'm most confident in. In conclusion, I'm not yelling at you in this episode. Just, more so, strongly advising with an elevated voice. The post The Reason You Might Be Restless and Tips for What To Do About It appeared first on .

We've all been there. Seriously, all of us. We find something that stirs us up, makes us want to run in a specific direction - but then we start pumping the brakes as we think about what someone else might say/think/do in response to our decisions. Or maybe someone makes a comment in passing that shakes every ounce of confidence we worked so hard to build. One of NOTM's favorite guests, Kaley Hollingsworth, is back again to kick off a new season and a new year with a conversation about endurance, obedience in spite of doubt and navigating fear in the face of forward motion. This is for the ones who have an idea, dream or stirring toward doing something new or outside of your norm & the ones who need to know to keep going right where they are...even if it feels mundane. The post What Shouldn’t (And Should) Hold You Back + Learning To Live Comfortably In Your Calling/Gifting appeared first on .

Okay, wait. If you haven't listened to last week's episode, you're going to be real confused so just scroll up a bit and push play on that before you push play here. Otherwise, we're diving right back in to the conversation around where your confidence is and what happens when you start putting your confidence and identity anywhere but where it belongs. (Spoiler: Burn out. That's what happens.) We're continuing our conversation with Somer Phoebus, co-founder of She Works His Way, and you're really lucky because you'll even get to hear a part we meant to edit out, but it will live forever in episode 179. We're all just doing our best out here, guys. The post Red Flags of Burnout, Insecurity & Listening to Opinions that Matter (Part Two) appeared first on .

This right here...this is a conversation I wish I'd had sooner. Building confidence in any area of life is hard, but what if it was less about confidence in one area and more about being a confident person? Because if all we are is tied up in what we can or cannot do - our confidence is built on some pretty rickety foundations. Today's episode with my friend Somer Phoebus, co-founder of She Works His Way, covers questions like: -What skills or mindsets do you wish you could go back and learn sooner? -How do you know to pump the brakes and when to push for more? -When do you keep at something and when do you know it's time to let it go? And this is JUST PART ONE! This conversation was so good that we talked for over an hour and we all know ya'll aren't going to catch allllll the good stuff if you have to listen that long. So push play on part one and look forward to part two next week! The post Putting Your Confidence in the Right Place + Knowing When To Run Hard & When To Slow Down (Part One) appeared first on .

Call it imposter syndrome, call it an identity crisis or just call it plain ol doubt - regardless of the name it carries, second-guessing yourself isn't just a you thing. If we were all a little more honest with ourselves and with each other we'd realize it's an us thing. In the last episode, we talked about why we hit burn out, what's happening to most women in the workplace and what adjustments we have to make personally and lots of other things I wish I'd learned sooner. This is a continuation of the conversation with my friend, Michelle Myers, from She Works His Way. I spent years trying to find someone ahead of me who was working a lot, leaning into ministry opportunities all while raising a family. Honestly, I wish I had met Michelle so much sooner and you'll feel the same after you listen to this episode. The post Being Sure Of Where You’re At And Letting Go Of Where You’re Not appeared first on .

Every now and then we like to do episodes around the conversations we find ourselves having the most often. While on a few afternoon walks or over a McAlister's chicken salad sandwich, I'm hearing a lot of the same questions: How do I separate my work life and my personal life? What does it look like to work really hard, but still able to come home and do other things outside of work? How do I grow into leadership positions without coming across entitled? I don't like what I'm doing right now, I'd rather be doing (fill in the blank). Should I quit? There have been a lot of questions about leadership, healthy relationships at work and really how to be someone others want to work with. Most of what we'll talk about as we answer these questions are things I wish I'd learned sooner, things I really only learned by looking back and evaluating what should've been different before I hit the bottom of my tank. The post Avoiding Burnout & Being Someone Others Want To Work With appeared first on .

First time moms and multi-time moms, we need each other. NOTM favorite, Whitney, jumps in to share her own insights into arguably the biggest 'no one told me' season some women ever experience. With fresh baby waiting for her at home, Whit talks about what she wishes more women knew about motherhood and why changing her sheets has become a non-negotiable. (Those two things aren't actually related.) The post The Shift Into Motherhood appeared first on .

Long title, right? And that barely covers everything talked about in this episode with Amanda Held Opelt. She's one of my favorite guests ever on NOTM because of her genuine honesty and authenticity as she figures it all out right along with us. What should we be more worried about than figuring out what to do with our lives? Why is learning to steward where we are more important than uncovering where we're going? Why do we believe that being bored or frustrated means we're getting life wrong? Is it okay to sometimes be restless even though you have a good life? What are the red flags that pride is making more of your decisions than humility? See? I'm telling you - we cover all the bases and then the outfield, too. Okay, so maybe a sports analogy isn't exactly on brand around here, but you get it. Listen and then share it with all your friends. They need it, too. The post Rethinking “Calling”, Stewarding Right Now Well & Why It’s Okay To Be Frustrated appeared first on .

When you find yourself in the uncomfortable, unexpected and *maybe* unwanted seasons of life - there's one thing we can all agree on: Bangs are not the answer. Here's the thing, you will undoubtedly land yourself in moments you wish would pass a little faster. And moments you wish would slow down. So, how do you navigate the rollercoaster? My friend, Kaley, has been on this coaster with me since my early 20's. We've figured out how to make decisions when none of the options seemed great, how to keep moving forward when you don't know what forward looks like and how to avoid trying to control all the small things when the big things start getting out of hand. If you've ever wanted to push fast forward on where you're at - just go ahead and push play. The post Before You Think Bangs Will Fix Your Problems – Listen To This appeared first on .

There are few seasons of life filled with more "no one told me" moment than motherhood. This podcast launched from a living room tirade against the hospitals that let people who know nothing about babies take a baby home (i.e. hospitals *fairly* send babies home with their first-time parents). Three kids deep and I'm still trying to navigate all being a mom requires - so I brought in a mom with 40+ years experience under her belt to look back and harness her own hindsight on behalf of all the mothers coming after her. My mom, who I lovingly call Carol Barrel, sits down and shares the top things she wish she'd learn sooner when she moved into the mother-hood. The post Motherhood Explained (Kind Of) appeared first on .

Two things we're usually terrible at: transitions & incredibly high expectations. We spend so much time imagining the other side of a transition - the new role, new relationship, new job, new addition to the family...we forget the toll of what it takes to get there. Expectations hold more power than we think, and most times all it takes is a transition to show us that truth. I find myself in the heart of transition, within multiple areas of my life, and what makes or breaks each day is how I navigate what I expect versus what I experience. The post Transitions and Expectations appeared first on .

In our final installment of the mini series, Good To Know, Sam and Katelyn take on what drives much of our fears: Failure. But there's freedom in knowing no failure is ever final. There's always more to your story. The post Failure Is Not Final appeared first on .

What if we viewed fear as an invitation into faith? What if we decided to keep walking in spite of our fear? What if we spent less time imagining scenarios that will probably never be and more time claiming the promises of rooted in all God has already done? What if we stopped asking, "What if..."? These are choices. And we're choosing to claim that fear will not be our future. Sam and Katelyn continue their NOTM take over with an important conversation full of Truths that are good to know - Fear Is Not My Future. The post Good to Know: Fear Is Not My Future appeared first on .

You know what complicates? Feelings. Whether it's deciding which job to take, which relationships are healthy or if your heart wants Chick-fil-a or Moe's for dinner - it feels almost impossible to separate the onslaught of emotion from the final decision made. So how do we train our hearts and thoughts to recognize feelings without letting them dictate our everyday? While our host, Callie, is still on baby leave, our friends Sam and Katelyn step in with NOTM mini series, Good To Know, focusing today on what we all need to know: Feelings Are Not Facts. The post Good To Know: Feelings Are Not Facts appeared first on .