Brilliant Observations

Which came first: the two drink maximum or shooting a dog in the face? And to think, these aren't even the most controversial things we joke about this week. Join us for a rousing conversation that includes ill-suited funeral home administrators, voting stickers, Middle East unrest, avoidng your life's purpose and (everyone's favorite), "Tubby People." It's every bit as weird, free-ranging and surprisingly metaphysical as you think. Just one more reason to love us.

The things this woman makes me say on behalf of your entertainment. Lord help us.

From Thoughtful Shoppery to creative tax code interpretation, exposing toxic espoinnage networks and raw pork hostess gifts, Amy laments the reputational erosion this podcast expands each and every week. Meanwhile, Missy's self-diagnosed neurospiciness takes center stage with her approach to secret keeping, tax preparation, protein consumption and New York sports teams. Far reaching topics connected only through nonsequitors? Perhaps. Hilariously relatable? Always.

Suns and Moons merging together, garbage and valuables co-mingling at every turn, and longtime friends who suddenly reveal their depthlessly shallow hearts. It's a world gone MAD, Dear Listener, and this week's episode is here for it. Join us as we recap the Eclipse, including the physical effects of witnessing a mass lunar wedding (blech!). Then, there's the main event — the Watch List, a special category where once cherished relationships reveal their critical flaws, only to slide off into the abyss. OoooOooOoooo, JUICY!

It’s Grievance Week, Dear Listener, and both Amy and Missy came ready to grouse. How better to begin than a full-throated rebuke of famed finger-wagger herself, the one and only Mel Robbins. Listen with head-shaking joy as Amy loses her damn mind over Mel Robbins' most recent episode, featuring the world's most saliva-packed special guest. If that wasn’t enough, Melissa launches her nukes at a disingenuous family of influencers looking to capitalize on their son’s (ahem) “medical condition.” He’s a picky eater, folks. All that, plus a rousing game of Is This Racist (GenX Edition) and a limited edition segment we’re calling “Australia—Enough with the Genitals.” There’s TV recommendations, verbal gaffs, hoots, snorts and lots of laughs. Give this one a listen or a share if you’re so inclined. You won’t be disappointed.

How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? Well, when the starting point for licks is Melissa's son after a Balinese holiday and the Tootsie Roll center is an unwrapped toilet seat, I'm guessing it takes more than three. Join us as we chat through Aboriginal Gratitude, the state of Israel, the Selective Logic of the Qanon Collective, and disgruntled gift recipients. It's all there, Dear Listener. And all you have to do is press play.

Oh, G-blank-D, Dear Listener, do we have a show for you. There's frivolous lawsuits. There's religious superstition. There's orgasm pills, TikTok scams and wildly overpriced butter. There's even a botched execution that turns out to be a heartwarming tale of "I bet you didn't see that coming." And if that wasn't enough, we even throw in some nonsensical anecdotes from the teenage clown around gang. Interested? You betcha. Time for another Brilliant Observations, kids!

Happy Feet had his heartsong. The rest of us, if Mallory's college classmate is to be trusted, have a Poopsong. And the lucky few? A Pooping Playlist. You know. For those very long, very strenuous "moments." And with that, we’re back to our old tricks, Dear Listener, with plenty of silly, sing-songy, potty humory talkie talk for your listening pleasure. Do we also manage to dabble in politics, however briefly? Why yes, yes we do. But only as long as it takes to lace a pair of solid gold sneakers. We also cover the magic of aging, the importance of a proper Swedish Death Clean and Amy's bout with ayahuaska (caribe edition). Clip in, friends! It's one hell of a ride!

We’ve had a bit of a viral moment on TikTok this week, Dear Listener, and wouldn’t you know it’s about some questionable activity (wholly endorsed). What can I say? Sometimes the things in my head come out of my face. And in this case, the things coming out of my face happened in the bathroom. Interested? Then listen on, Dear Listener — this episode is for you. Topics covered include All Things Underpants (from going commando to carrying a spare pair to stray toilet paper mysteriously stuck to the wall), the phenomenon of TikTok sensation ReesaTeesa, and our personal favorite, Credit Card Fraud: How Would You Do It? We posed this HYPOTHETICAL question on TikTok in hopes of crowd sourcing some answers, and boy did the internet deliver. Check us out on TikTok at your own risk. And just in case no one’s told you this today, we love giving joke advice, which is not the same as actual advice to you or your loved ones. This show is for entertainment purposes only. The thoughts and views expressed are not legal advice, or medical advice, or lifestyle advice, or any advice worth listening to, frankly. Funk around and find out rules apply.

You've heard of snakes on a plane. Welp, there's no preparing you for what these Amsterdamians decided to transport. Continuing with the Animals Gone Wild theme, Missy shares news of the world's first (potentially) immaculate conception, sting-ray style. Just as scripture foretold, this too leaves us guessing as to who done messed with that unsuspecting lady. (My money's on the shark.) All that plus Weed Goes to the Theatre, Weed Goes to Work and Weeeeeee All the way Home. Join us for a laugh, won't you?

It's Valentine's Day week, Dear Listener, and we'd like to be the first to tell you how much genuine LOVE and appreciation we feel for your laughs, shares, well-wishes and attention episode after heartfelt episode. Sending bladder-straining giggles your way is the honor and highlight of our week. More news and notes to come! For now, biggest love to you and yours.

Talk about a Money Corner! Holy Listener Feedback, Dear Listener. We peed all over you last week, and boy did you respond. (Don't worry if you missed it — you can always give last week's episode a listen if you're looking for a raucous laugh.) "Back to the car." Do you know which social media platform is most used by adults? Indeed you do not, Dear Listener, as Melissa so shockingly clarifies for us this week. It's all part of the rough-and-tumble chaos of life in the junk drawer, I guess. Happy listening!

It's a horror show, kids, at least it was around the beautiful Sonic Bloom Awards banquet table during the She Podcasts Unplugged! event in concert with PodFest 2024. And yet, despite the unsolicited (geriatric) pick up lines, latent latex balloon smell and traumatic special-effect makeup photos, the most exciting thing we saw at this year's extraordinary event was how to optimize your podcast workflow using artificial intelligence. Honestly, you think we would have investigated this option sooner given how strained our biological intelligence has been lately. Bah DAH cha! Seriously, Dear Listener. For this episode, we tasked AI with the challenge of writing 5 sample titles with accompanying 100 word blurbs for use as show notes. Here is, word for word, what the computer spit out: The Worst Pickup Lines (and Other Orlando Mishaps) Melissa and Amy recap their eventful trip to a women in podcasting conference, which included being subjected to cringeworthy pickup lines from older men at the hotel bar. They also share hilarious stories of laughter-induced urination, getting accosted with graphic images, and the overall quirky escapades of their "velveteen rabbity" Orlando getaway. Holding in Laughter and Pee: Our Crazy Orlando Trip Through uncontrollable laughter, Melissa and Amy recount wetting themselves numerous times during their women in podcasting conference in Orlando. From horrifying bathroom smells to inappropriate overshares from strangers to questionable travel snafus, their eventful trip offered plenty of comedic fodder, despite the lackluster hotel amenities and odd mishmash of conference attendees. The Time We Peed Our Pants Laughing in Orlando Melissa and Amy recap the nonstop hilarity during their women's podcasting conference trip to Orlando, from getting hit on by overly confident men at bars to a stranger ambushing them with graphic images. Their days were filled with laughing so hard they peed their pants, yelling at people out of fear, and enjoying each other's company amidst the quirky escapades. Strange Pickup Lines and Public Peeing: Our Orlando Adventure During their women's podcasting conference getaway, Melissa and Amy were in stitches recounting ridiculous pickup attempts from men at hotel bars along with uncontrollably laughing until they wet themselves...in public! From horrifying bathroom smells to graphic photo ambushes, their overnight trip was filled with hilarious mishaps and lots of laughter. One Wild and Crazy Orlando Trip Melissa and Amy recap their eventful Orlando trip chock-full of laughter, escapades and hijinks - from cringeworthy pickup lines from men to uncontrollable giggling that led to public peeing. Despite a questionable hotel stay and odd conference attendees, they made the most of it, supporting their friend and enjoying time together, even if it meant getting ambushed by a stranger's graphic images! And if you think that's cool, consider telling a friend about our show. You can find us on all the socials at @ListenBrilliant, or on your preferred podcast player as Brilliant Observations Podcast. We'd love a follow on TikTok as well, as we're trying to get more intentional about posting behind the scenes videos there for your listening enjoyment. See you next week! Special thanks to the Sonic Bloom Awards for our nomination to multiple categories and exciting, humbling win as Best Podcast Cohosts of 2024 Shoutout to Jessica Kupferman, Elsie Escobar and the whole crew at She Podcasts for the amazing sessions, speakers, parties, after-parties, balloons, soundtrack, cheese tray and tiny cherry-centered creme pastry things that kinda looked like little alien nipples but were startlingly delicious at She Podcasts Unplugged, the only live event for She Podcasts in 2024 Full credit to Unfuck Your Business Podcast for the podcast workflow tips using AI. Definintely check them out if you're looking for resources, brand consulting or podcast marketing support.

This just in: life's not fair, Dear Listener... right down to the range of personal greetings doled out at the local supermarket. But just like sanitation codes at the bulk bean display, Amy won't let a little thing like fairness stop her from barrelling through this world with a fist in the air in defence of the smile in her heart. Laugh along with us this week as we cover abbreviations as disconnected as DMV snubs, NFL team names, VIP shopping status and OG GPS SOBs. All that, plus Missy loses her mind with the world's longest silent laugh. Not neessarily great for pod, but just the thing for those of you laughing along at home.

$120 manicures lead Missy to question everything — including Amy's apparent fetish with sliding her fingers into unwashed bean barrels at the corner deli. It's a thing. Right? See the video for yourself on TikTok: ListenBrilliant All that, plus Missy says goodbye, sort of, to the boy as he flies off to Australia. Depending on when you download this episode, he may still be in the air. (Just kidding. He's confirmed it's a G'day Down Undah.)

We're growing our audience on TikTok, Dear Listener, so we've placed a little behind the scenes video there for your enjoyment. Hop on over to ListenBrilliant (on any of the socials, really) for a peek at Missy and Amy as they attempt to solve the latest crime thriller: who pooped on Missy's driveway?

It's Microwave Mania, Dear Listener, as the Brilliant Household bares its disfunctional soul for all to hear. Not to be outdone, Biohazard Amy makes another unscheduled, yet inexplicable appearance. And Melissa continues her yearly Crusade against Christmas "Culture." Screw you, Santa.

We're shooting squirrels and picking up girls, Dear Listener, so why not load up on the bad decisions, grab your favorite friend by the cheeks and give em a great big smooch on the mouth! Or maybe take our New Year's Prompt to heart and consider not doing any of that stuff... and decide instead to look forward as you look back. What will you Stop doing in 2024? What will you Start doing? We certainly know what you'll Continue doing — and that's listening to our beloved show. Find us on TikTok just as soon as we start videotaping our recordcing sessions. Note to future self: must Start. Must Start. Must Start.

If ever you’ve wondered when it was time to stop doing what you’re doing, try reading your mail. Brilliant Observations Administrative Team receives a surprising Cease and Desist letter from a loser with no ideas. And Missy takes decisive action. Plus, big shocker, Amy finds herself a little too mouthy with just about everyone. But don't worry, kids. It all works out in the end.