The Skillful Podcast

Are you a therapist who wants the experience of being in a DBT skills group yourself? Are you curious about how the skills can help YOU? Marielle and Ed are starting a new skills group designed specifically for therapists to learn the skills together in a supportive online environment. We are excited to offer this group. For more information and to sign up visit www.dbtskillsgroupfortherapists.com Resources DBT Skills Handouts and Worksheets Ask us a Question We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

What DBT skill do you use when your emotion fits the facts? One option is to work on changing the facts. The skill of Problem Solving offers a structured framework to help you change situations that cause painful emotions. Problem Solving begins, like many of the Emotion Regulation skills in DBT, by naming your emotion. Next, identify your goal in solving the problem and come up with a solution to meet your goal. Break the solution down into small steps. Finally, take action. Check in with your Wise Mind when using this skill, because Emotion Mind may distort facts or obscure solutions. Practicing this skill can feel like a lot! This episode walks you through each part of this multi-layered skill. For full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast DBT Skills Discussed The “What” Skills of Mindfulness Check the Facts Opposite Action Resources DBT Skills Handouts and Worksheets Ask us a Question We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

Today’s episode discusses the DBT skill of Willingness. Willingness is one of the reality acceptance skills that we teach in Distress Tolerance. This skill can help you let go of fighting what is so you can do what’s needed in each situation - without dragging your feet or holding onto a grudge. One way to understand Willingness is to think of its opposite: Willfulness. When Willfulness is present, you’re fighting reality, trying to control things, or being passive when action is needed. Your Willfulness might show up differently depending on the situation. For full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast DBT Skills Discussed Distress Tolerance Part 2 Radical Acceptance Turning the Mind Half-smile Willing Hands Ask us a Question We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

Once you have grasp of the DEAR MAN skill, you might find yourself getting stuck when you try to use it in difficult interactions. Maybe the other person pushes back, tries to change the subject, or refuses to engage fairly. While we can’t force anyone to do anything, we can continue to use our skills to stay as effective as possible during heated moments. For full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast DBT Skills Discussed DEAR MAN Introduction to Distress Tolerance & the STOP skill The “What” Skills of Mindfulness The “How” Skills of Mindfulness Ask us a Question We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

Once you have a grasp of the change-oriented skills in DBT (such as Check the Facts, Opposite Action, and Problem Solving) it can be hard to figure out which one to use. This episode walks you through deciding if and when to act on an unwanted emotion. For full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast DBT Skills Discussed Check the Facts Mindfulness of Current Emotions Problem Solving Opposite Action Emotions Explained: Shame Ask us a Question We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

Shame is one of the most painful emotions we can experience. This episode explores what shame is, when the emotion is useful (and when it’s not), and skills to help you cope when shame threatens to overwhelm you. Shame is a social emotion that motivates us to repair transgressions that might result in us being excluded from a group we want (or need) to belong to. Many of us, though, experience a lot of unjustified shame, where we assume we will be rejected if parts of ourselves are revealed. DBT Skills Discussed Check the Facts For full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast Ask us a Question We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

Today’s episode focuses on the emotion of fear. At its most fundamental, fear keeps us safe. It guides us to fight, flee, or freeze in the face of danger. Often, though, fear can be chronic, manifesting as anxiety, worry, or tension even when we are safe. This episode helps you identify fear in all its manifestations and provides tools to help you cope with it. DBT Skills Discussed Build Mastery and Cope Ahead Check the Facts For full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast Ask us a Question We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

In this episode, Marielle and Ed discuss the emotion of anger. In its most useful form, anger moves us to protect and defend ourselves and those we care about. Many people, though, find anger frightening because they have witnessed destructive expressions of anger such as emotional or physical violence. This episode unpacks the emotion of anger so you can understand it in yourself and potentially in others. Sometimes anger fits the facts, and sometimes faulty interpretations can intensify anger, making us believe that we are being treated unfairly or that things should be different than they are. Skills such as Observing and Describing Emotions, Paced Breathing, Check the Facts and Opposite Action can be particularly helpful in responding to anger effectively. For full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast DBT Skills Discussed Observing and Describing Emotions Check the Facts Opposite Action Paced Breathing Ask us a Question We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

When we find ourselves getting caught in extremes, the DBT skill called Walking the Middle Path helps us re-calibrate. Use this skill when you notice you are caught in binary thinking to find a way to move towards center. This episode explores common opposites: Reasonable Mind vs. Emotion Mind Doing Mind vs. Being Mind Intense Desire of the Moment vs. Radical Acceptance of the Moment Self-denial vs. Self-indulgence For full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast ​​DBT Skills Discussed Wise Mind Radical Acceptance Check the Facts Ask us a Question We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

This episode is an overview of the core Interpersonal Effectiveness skills in DBT, focusing on clarifying objectives, DEAR MAN, GIVE, and FAST. There are a lot of acronyms in the Interpersonal Effectiveness module! Memorizing what each letter of the acronym stands for, especially DEAR MAN, can help you access the skill when you most need it. The best way to memorize the DEAR MAN script is to write it out again and again until you’ve mastered it. For full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast DBT Skills Discussed DEAR MAN GIVE FAST Validation Ask us a Question We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

In Part 2 of How to Assert Yourself, Marielle and Ed discuss common interpersonal pitfalls in speaking up for yourself in relationships. Do you swallow your needs and then find they all come out in a rush of words and anger? Vacillating between staying silent and then blowing up is common and hurts both your relationships and your self-respect. This episode offers lots of ideas to help you avoid these extremes. It can be hardest to speak up in our closest relationships because that is where the stakes are the highest. Despite what our fears may say, speaking up actually can strengthen relationships if done skillfully. For full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast DBT Skills Discussed DEAR MAN GIVE FAST Ask us a Question We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

Do you find it hard to speak up for yourself in relationships? If so, this 2-part series on how to assert yourself may help you understand why it can feel so hard to ask for things or say no in different types of relationships. In order to be able to assert yourself, you first need to know what you want and don’t want. Sometimes this is harder that it seems. If you’ve spent a lifetime minimizing or denying your needs, it may be hard to get in touch with what matters to you most. Once you’ve identified your needs, you have to trust that your needs matter as much as everyone else’s. For full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast DBT Skills Discussed Myths about Interpersonal Effectiveness Check the Facts Opposite Action Build Mastery DEAR MAN Ask us a Question We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

In this episode, Marielle and Ed answer a listener's question about fears of abandonment when conflict arises in relationships. These fears go straight to the heart of old wounds for many people. Often, worry that conflict will destroy a relationship is rooted in our earliest relationships with our caregivers. If that early care was inconsistent, absent, or punishing in some way, it will be hard to feel secure when conflict inevitably arises in adult relationships. With skill use and a lot of compassion, you can learn to walk yourself through this common fear. For full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast/ DBT Skills Discussed Wise Mind Distress Tolerance Skills STOP Self-Soothing Radical Acceptance Check the Facts Opposite Action DEAR MAN GIVE Ask us a Question We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

This episode is the 2nd part of an overview of the Emotion Regulation skills in DBT, focusing on skills that can help you be in Emotion Mind less often. You can find part 1 here. The skills discussed in this episode may not have an immediate impact on how you’re feeling, but regular application of these skills over time builds emotional resilience and flexibility. DBT Skills Discussed Accumulating Positive Emotions in the Short-Term Accumulating Positive Emotions in the Long-Term Build Mastery Cope Ahead PLEASE Ask us a Question We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

The Emotion Regulation skills in DBT offer lots of ways to help you identify and respond to emotions. Some of the Emotion Regulation skills focus on change, while others focus on acceptance. This toggling back and forth between acceptance and change is the primary dialectic we are continually balancing in DBT. This episode provides an overview of the Emotion Regulation skills as a whole, and takes a deep dive into change-oriented strategies such as Check the Facts, Opposite Action, and Problem Solving. For full show notes, visit our website. Ask us a Question We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

This episode explores how to apply mindfulness skills to help you manage distressing thoughts using the DBT skill called Mindfulness of Current Thoughts. Thoughts can cause a lot of suffering. Often, thoughts about events are based on assumptions, judgments, or interpretations rather than on facts. The core of this skill is to notice thoughts as just thoughts, or sensations of the brain, rather than as fact or truth. This can help lower emotional distress and reactivity. Mindfulness of Current Thoughts helps you change your relationship with your thoughts rather than changing the thoughts themselves. For more information, including the full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast/ Ask us a Question We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

Today, Marielle interviews Elle Michel, LMFT, a therapist in Los Angeles who specializes in treating complex trauma. Elle uses a combination of modalities to treat trauma, including DBT, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), and Brainspotting. This episode focuses on describing what happens in the nervous system after a traumatic event, and how to use DBT skills to cope with an activated brain and body. For more information, including the full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast/ Ask us a Question We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

Today, we take a deep dive into working with judgments. Judgments about ourselves and others can increase emotional suffering and negatively impact relationships. Judgments are often assumptions, interpretations, or myths that we add to the facts. We then tend to mistake our judgments for facts. This episode explores how to notice all of the subtle and often habitual ways judgments show up, as well as how to shift into a nonjudgmental stance. For more information, including the full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast/ Ask us a Question We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

The Distress Tolerance skills in DBT offer creative ways to get through challenging situations without making things worse. In Part 2 of this overview of Distress Tolerance skills, we focus on acceptance skills. Both acceptance and change skills can help lower emotional distress so you can access your most wise, grounded self. Radical Acceptance, as well as skills that support Radical Acceptance, are covered in this episode. For more information, including the full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast/ Ask us a Question We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

The Distress Tolerance skills in DBT offer creative ways to get through challenging situations without making things worse. Today’s episode is Part 1 of an overview of Distress Tolerance as a whole, with a special focus on change-oriented skills. When emotional distress is high, there can be an intense desire to do something to make the distress stop. Very often, when we numb or distance ourselves from distressing emotions, we create new problems. The DBT skills discussed in today’s episode help you respond to hard emotions in ways that you won’t regret. These skills are also helpful when you need to get things done but you’re too overwhelmed to get started or think clearly. For more information, including the full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast/ Ask us a Question We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.