Heaving Bosoms

Hey HBs! In this episode, Sabrina and Mel recap DEATH'S OBSESSION by Avena St. Graves. It's a dark, paranormal, stalker romance that gave us KING OF FLESH AND BONE, SING ME TO SLEEP, and SOUL EATER vibes. Overall, they enjoyed the experience, but were generally underwhelmed. But! They talk a lot about reader "meters" and it's appropriately scientific and straightforward. During the episode, Sabrina's three pooches are competing in some serious doggy Olympics in the background, so there will be a bit of ambient noise, but we have to respect these athletes and their tenacity. Bonus Content: Mel's still in a Theodora Taylor hole, our Smut Meters are broken, Smut Meter vs. Butterflies Meter vs. Shock Meter, this is a Shadow Daddy book, breakup semantics, sneeze feats, "dress me, daddy," dark tunnels, analog text responses, and so much more! Lady Loves: Sabrina: treat yourself to a shrimp boil for one! It doesn't have to be a social thing! Mel: have yourself a good ol' fashioned Law & Order SVU marathon, or whatever is your equivalent to a show that feels like coming back to an old friend. It's great background noise while you do other things! Make sure to check out Mel's new podcast Bonkers Romance! Subscribe! Rate! Review! Tell all your friends :) Get more content on PATREON!! Sign up for our Newsletter! MERCH! Teepublic, Chicaloo Kate, Redbubble Instagram: @heavingbosoms Twitter: @heaving_bosoms

Hey HBs! We're here with LOVE FOR THE COLD-BLOODED, OR THE PART-TIME EVIL MINION'S GUIDE TO ACCIDENTALLY DATING A SUPERHERO by Alex Gabriel! Boy, oh boy, this MM superhero fantasy novel is fan-damn-tastic; the voice is SO UNIQUE, the world-building is incredible, and the romance is SMOKING HOT. There's accidental sex work, it highlights the power of perspective, and someone puts quail eggs on pizza. Plus, FORCE FIELD S*X! Bonus Content: rich boy pizzas, force field condoms, telling your employer to get better at dirty talk, frat house libraries, and so much more! Lady Loves: Mel: Do you have an upgrade available from your cellular company? Even if you don't have a black melting dick spot on your screen that makes your life incredibly inconvenient, see if you can upgrade to a better phone for free!!! Sabrina: Microwave Popcorn! Good goddess microwave popcorn really hits the spot!! Make sure to check out Mel's new podcast Bonkers Romance! Subscribe! Rate! Review! Tell all your friends :) Get more content on PATREON!! Sign up for our Newsletter! MERCH! Teepublic, Chicaloo Kate, Redbubble Instagram: @heavingbosoms Twitter: @heaving_bosoms

Hey HBs! We're here to recap JUST FOR THE CAMERAS by Viano Oniomoh! It's a fluffy contemporary with delicious and supported sex work, amazing communication, a sad sad Sebastian boy, best friendship goals, and an MMF menage that made us feel all gooey and sparkly inside. And WOW the hot hot sexy times! This is definitely an erotic romance. Bonus Content: this is a giggly episode, sad boy catnip, dimple piercings, celebrations of beautiful fat bodies, Pavlovian Portraits, only one bed, two boys just cock-a-doodle-doing together, and so much more. Lady Loves: Sabrina - the path of totality. Sabrina went and experienced the solar eclipse with a friend and it was wonderful to be reminded that she's a tiny speck on a tiny speck of a universe! Mel - get yourself 5 yards of mulch for your birthday! It's the BEST and moving it all in one day makes a person feel SUPER accomplished. Make sure to check out Mel's new podcast Bonkers Romance! Subscribe! Rate! Review! Tell all your friends :) Get more content on PATREON!! Sign up for our Newsletter! MERCH! Teepublic, Chicaloo Kate, Redbubble Instagram: @heavingbosoms Twitter: @heaving_bosoms

Hey HBs! It's Post-Apocalyptic Times!! We're recapping CLAIMED by Elle Kennedy, and wow is outlaw country sex and kink positive! We've got a heroine with a BIG secret, a hero with a vendetta, and a passel of boys we can't get enough of! Bonus Content: Michael's angry bird artistic debut, that potent post-apocalyptic pussy, sexy hit point increases, the confusing commerce of outlaw country, flower favors, outlaw jail, and so much more! Lady Loves: Sabrina: see your friends as much as possible! Especially if they live far away. Mel: I've been noodling on some wisdom from a fictional yoga class written by Sarina Bowen. The idea "never give up and always surrender." Work hard and follow your dreams, but allow for things to evolve along the way! Make sure to check out Mel's new podcast Bonkers Romance! Subscribe! Rate! Review! Tell all your friends :) Get more content on PATREON!! Sign up for our Newsletter! MERCH! Teepublic, Chicaloo Kate, Redbubble Instagram: @heavingbosoms Twitter: @heaving_bosoms

Hey HBs! Mel and Sabrina are here to recap RAVISHED by Amanda Quick! It's a historical with a fossil-obsessed heroine, a VERY misunderstood hero, a dangerous ring of robbers, and a cavernous ruination!! Bonus Content: Mel got her 5 yards of dirt delivered, Sabrina wants to be BFFs with this heroine, the gals go on a crustacean tangent, Mel does a big word association on everyone because it's tired in here, Lady Whipplethorpe, Lord Applebottom Doorman, and so much more! Lady Loves: Joint lady love: HB David sending a much-sought 1st print of a Lisa Kleypas book to HB Emily after a Patreon watch party! HBs are the BEST. Sabrina: StoryGraph has actual graphs now! Pie and bar ones! Mel: Get yourself whatever your 5 yards of dirt is! Is it nuts? Maybe. But is it for you? DEFINITELY. Make sure to check out Mel's new podcast Bonkers Romance! Subscribe! Rate! Review! Tell all your friends :) Get more content on PATREON!! Sign up for our Newsletter! MERCH! Teepublic, Chicaloo Kate, Redbubble Instagram: @heavingbosoms Twitter: @heaving_bosoms

Hey HBs! HAPPY ST. VINCENT WEEK! Tomorrow, April 2nd, is officially the 3rd (or maybe 4th?) annual St. Vincent Day! Where we celebrate Sebastian St. Vincent, the misunderstood bad boy who's really just broken and wants to ensconce your feet in warmth and feed you and plan funerals so you don't have to and become the sexist casino business man and take bullets for you. CASUAL STUFF. Last year, we got recommendations for books that have St. Vincent *vibes* and boy did HB Taylor deliver! She's back with us to recap THE LUCKIEST LADY IN LONDON by Sherry Thomas. We have the horniest heroine on a mission, an asshole in disguise as the Ideal Gentleman, mistress-turned-marital machinations, and so much more! Bonus Content: so much math horniness, floriography, chalkboard fantasies, tentacle fingers, telescope metaphors, and more! Lady Loves: Sabrina: if you can, hire a person to do the thing you hate! Sabrina just got a guy who will mow her lawn and now she can use that time cross-stitching or reading or knitting AND reading or just taking a load off. Taylor: Weleda body lotion. It smells like plants and she swears by it. Mel: laugh directly in the face of misogynists. If a guy looks you dead in your beautiful face and says he doesn't "need your permission to call your husband" give into your involuntary response and cackle right in his face! Make sure to check out Mel's new podcast Bonkers Romance! Subscribe! Rate! Review! Tell all your friends :) Get more content on PATREON!! Sign up for our Newsletter! MERCH! Teepublic, Chicaloo Kate, Redbubble Instagram: @heavingbosoms Twitter: @heaving_bosoms

Hey HBs! We haven't recapped an alien romance in a while... dare we say TOO LONG! We're here today with TAKEN TO VORAXIA by Elizabeth Stevens! As of the release of this episode, Mel has read through book 6 without any plans to stop. This series is sooo good! TW: discussions of sexual assault, slavery, and forced abortions. Bonus Content: Mel can't tear herself away from the Ruthless Bosses series by Theodora Taylor, how much we love the there-aren't-enough-babies trope, xora pockets (insert rooster emoji here), and ships turning into armadas!!! Don't worry, Mel told Sabrina all about the rest of the books in the Ruthless Bosses series by Theodora Taylor and that will be out on Patreon and Apple subscription on Tuesday, 4/2!! Lady Loves Mel: Pizza dough made from scratch, and then cinnamon rolls made with any leftover dough! Sabrina: Author Emma Hamm is a recent discovery with a DEEP backlist and oh Sabrina might need saving pretty soon! Make sure to check out Mel's new podcast Bonkers Romance! Subscribe! Rate! Review! Tell all your friends :) Get more content on PATREON!! Sign up for our Newsletter! MERCH! Teepublic, Chicaloo Kate, Redbubble Instagram: @heavingbosoms Twitter: @heaving_bosoms

Hey y'all! We're here with part 2 of IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMEWHERE by Roan Parrish! We left you in the middle of their first (and only?) fight, which we acknowledge was a mean thing to do. But! There's an HEA! CW: for discussions of parental death and attempted suicide. Bonus Content: Mel did some hyperfocus "cleaning" because there was no one around to stop her, Sabrina wants Ginger's book (it exists! Huzzah!), Mel "pegged [Sabrina] so hard," and Sabrina is a sister goddess. Lady Loves: Mel: Mary Seacole! She was a badass nurse and Black woman who was a contemporary of the better-known Florence Nightingale. Sabrina: HB Washcloths! She's needed something to do with her hands while podcasting, so now she's doing small knitting projects. Make sure to check out Mel's new podcast Bonkers Romance! Subscribe! Rate! Review! Tell all your friends :) Get more content on PATREON!! Sign up for our Newsletter! MERCH! Teepublic, Chicaloo Kate, Redbubble Instagram: @heavingbosoms Twitter: @heaving_bosoms

Hey HBs! We're here with IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMEWHERE by Roan Parrish! This is part 1 because we loved this book soooooo much. This MM romance features a tattooed professor with anxiety and a super burly, cabin-building, care-taking dreamboat. Bonus Content: Mel's bringing big grown-up-lady-sleepover energy, Sabrina is now tailoring reading lists to Mel's big mouth, both gals are horned up for love, and we meet Sabrina's anxiety gremlin! Lady Loves: Mel: The soundtrack of the musical SIX! Especially the song All You Wanna Do sung by Didi Romero (Katherine Howard) and Get Down sung by Olivia Donaldson (Anne of Cleves). I'm told you can get both with a youtube music subscription. Sabrina: Figure out a way to do what you HAVE to do while also doing the things you WANT to do! Sabrina has started reading with audiobooks so she can color at the same time (it's way more complicated than that, but whatevs). Make sure to check out Mel's new podcast Bonkers Romance! Subscribe! Rate! Review! Tell all your friends :) Get more content on PATREON!! Sign up for our Newsletter! MERCH! Teepublic, Chicaloo Kate, Redbubble Instagram: @heavingbosoms Twitter: @heaving_bosoms

Hey HBs! We're back with ANY DUCHESS WILL DO by Tessa Dare! We restart our tale right after the library finger-b*ng, and these two are convinced that they only have until the end of the week. Will he gut his BFF for this woman?? Content warning: discussions of infant death and mentions of miscarriage. Bonus Content: Mel just dropped her family off at the airport, Mel and Sabrina "haven't even been railed yet" (or ever?), Sabrina found the ultimate tax-deductible ass, and we love every blue-blooded vein in someone's body pounding in desire for us! Lady Loves: Sabrina: get you some watercolor markers if that's what will help you create the art of your dreams! Mel: is it 1am? Sure. But do you need some brownies? Probs. Make them!!! Make sure to check out Mel's new podcast Bonkers Romance! Subscribe! Rate! Review! Tell all your friends :) Get more content on PATREON!! Sign up for our Newsletter! MERCH! Teepublic, Chicaloo Kate, Redbubble Instagram: @heavingbosoms Twitter: @heaving_bosoms

Hey HBs! We're here to recap ANY DUCHESS WILL DO by Tessa Dare! It's an Englandtimes book featuring a sad, broken Duke, his desperate mother, and the serving girl who will change them all forever. Bonus Content: Mel's got a mesakkah dick on her phone screen now, Sabrina learned about screenshots a long time ago, Sabrina has special feelings about stickers, and so much more! Lady Loves: Sabrina: Wear the silly costume! Be a shrimp! Do it!! Mel: Call an audible! The sportsball kind, that is. If something changes, go with the flow and make it a two-parter!

Hey HBs! It's time to cross the finish line of THE GIRL WITH THE STARS IN HER EYES by Xio Axelrod. Toni is starting to mesh with and carve out her role in the band, Seb is remining himself of his no-fraternization clause constantly, and Kandy is ready to make some waves! Y'all, this childhood best-friends to lovers set in the soundscape of an all-girl rock band, frankly, rocked our world. Bonus Content: Sabrina has been ORGANIZING HER LIFE and will not be accepting questions, we're so glad we're not famous, what are x's and o's, the gals aren't DP Sherlock Holmses, WE WANT A SAPPHIC SECOND CHANCE ROMANCE IN THIS SERIES, and so much more! Lady Loves: Sabrina: Make the effort for long-distance pals! Sabrina's friends are throwing her a 30th S-themed birthday party and she's taking her shrimp costume for a weekend trip out of state to celebrate with them! Mel: go buck wild and throw a grown up lady sleepover! While her family is across the world on a trip, Mel's hosting a few friends for a weekend slumber party! Ahhhhh! Make sure to check out Mel's new podcast Bonkers Romance! Subscribe! Rate! Review! Tell all your friends :) Get more content on PATREON!! Sign up for our Newsletter! MERCH! Teepublic, Chicaloo Kate, Redbubble Instagram: @heavingbosoms Twitter: @heaving_bosoms

Hey HBs! We planned this as a two-parter because we knew we would need to obsess over every detail AND WE WERE RIGHT. We're recapping THE GIRL WITH STARS IN HER EYES by Xio Axelrod! It's a second chance, childhood-best-friends-to-lovers romance set in the music industry and ehrmegerd we're hooked. Bonus Content: Mel's entire personality is gardening, this book has so much TEXTURE, you can hear the music and smell the smells and feel ALL the feels, Mel's rogue tampon, the blissful city of Tamtopia, and so much more! Lady Loves Sabrina: Go to the doctor! Sometimes you might think you know what's wrong, but it turns out a medical professional might know better. But also, get a second and third opinion if a doctor isn't listening to you. Mel: @microflowerfarm on IG! Even if you don't care about flower farming, it's such a BEAUTIFUL account! Make sure to check out Mel's new podcast Bonkers Romance! Subscribe! Rate! Review! Tell all your friends :) Get more content on PATREON!! Sign up for our Newsletter! MERCH! Teepublic, Chicaloo Kate, Redbubble Instagram: @heavingbosoms Twitter: @heaving_bosoms

Hey HBs! It's time to get our hockey on with HARD HITTER by Sarina Bowen! It's a massage, it's a yoga, it's a crime thriller! Ari and Patrick are so swoony! CW for discussions of past domestic abuse. Bonus Content: Sabrina (on record as NOT a re-reader) has read this book 3 times, Mel has been cut off by Hoopla, the gals both need massages badly, Mel learns what "uppers" actually are (yikes), dicks in coffee makers, and so much more! Lady Loves: Sabrina - rereading! Sometimes it's so so so good! Mel - the newest season of The Bachelor with Joey! It seems like the franchise has new producers who don't want to ruin the lives of all the contestants! Make sure to check out Mel's new podcast Bonkers Romance! Subscribe! Rate! Review! Tell all your friends :) Get more content on PATREON!! Sign up for our Newsletter! MERCH! Teepublic, Chicaloo Kate, Redbubble Instagram: @heavingbosoms Twitter: @heaving_bosoms

Hey HBs! Mel and Sabrina are back with HIS PRETEND BABY by Theodora Taylor! Nyla and Go are imperfectly perfect for each other and it was SO SWOONY! Self love, acceptance, and hot hot s*x are huge themes in this book and we couldn't get enough. Bonus Content: Mel has a dick on her phone and both gals only share VERY begrudgingly. Lady Loves: Sabrina: Find yourself a local community. Having someone who would come over to make sure she was ok after a concussion was an amazing experience. Mel: the soundtrack to the movie Ugly Dolls. Especially "Broken & Beautiful." Remember, you're beautiful in your brokenness! Make sure to check out Mel's new podcast Bonkers Romance! Subscribe! Rate! Review! Tell all your friends :) Get more content on PATREON!! Sign up for our Newsletter! MERCH! Teepublic, Chicaloo Kate, Redbubble Instagram: @heavingbosoms Twitter: @heaving_bosoms

Hey HBs! It's chaotic over here. Mel's drunk, Sabrina's an ADHD, and birds are locking people out of their cars. Also, Bobby De Niro is here! In this episode we recap a 5 Star Review Bribe MOVIE: the 2007 film Stardust starring Claire Danes, Daredevil, and Not-Goldie-Hawn. This road trip romance is a romp that everyone needs to see! Bonus Content: did Mel incept Sabrina to DIY renovate her house or is she just turning 30?, is this a perfect movie? Everyone is in it!, this whole movie/book was inspired by a fever dream about Mark Williams being a goat man, Sabrina didn't recognize Henry Cavill but would bang Sienna Miller like a pinkie toe, and so much more! Lady Loves: Love Your Home! Sabrina: Are you happy with your space? You can probably make small changes that make a huge difference. Or buy a new bedframe! Mel: Get that estimate! Something that seems impossible might be perfectly within your reach with professional help. Just find out so you have all the data! Make sure to check out Mel's new podcast Bonkers Romance! Subscribe! Rate! Review! Tell all your friends :) Get more content on PATREON!! Sign up for our Newsletter! MERCH! Teepublic, Chicaloo Kate, Redbubble Instagram: @heavingbosoms Twitter: @heaving_bosoms

Hey HBs! We're here recapping THE MASTER by Kresley Cole! It was formerly a Patreon-only episode, but we're doing something we basically never do and releasing it wide. We originally recapped The Professional and then finished the series on Patreon. This episode was supposed to be a recap of both The Master and The Player, but we loved the books so much we had to give them their own episodes. Bonus Content: Did Mel incept Sabrina with Lady DIY Instagram or is she just turning 30?, chastity in BDSM romance, where's the CBT in romance?, and so much more! Make sure to check out Mel's new podcast Bonkers Romance! Subscribe! Rate! Review! Tell all your friends :) Get more content on PATREON!! Sign up for our Newsletter! MERCH! Teepublic, Chicaloo Kate, Redbubble Instagram: @heavingbosoms Twitter: @heaving_bosoms

Helloooooo HBs! I hope you've been exercising your huggin' arms because it's time for the 2023 annual Heaving Bosoms Reading Embrace!!!!!!!! We gave you 20 categories and you did whatever you wanted with them. And if you notified us that you even thought about doing the Embrace, YOU GET SNUGGLED INTO OUR BOSOMS! More than anything, we need to say the biggest, most heart-felt thank you to YOU, Listener. You continue to melt our hearts and blow us away with your support, generosity of spirit, and ability to send love over any distance. We feel so very embraced by you as well. Bonus Content: Lamb Chop's Play Along, pterodactyl porn, bogarting boob juice, and so much more! Make sure to check out Mel's new podcast Bonkers Romance! Subscribe! Rate! Review! Tell all your friends :) Get more content on PATREON!! Sign up for our Newsletter! MERCH! Teepublic, Chicaloo Kate, Redbubble Instagram: @heavingbosoms Twitter: @heaving_bosoms

Happy New Year HBs!!!!!!!!!! Mel and Sabrina are ushering in 2024 by recapping Grand Theft NYE by Katrina Jackson! It's horny in here! AND THERE'S A HEIST! Y'all know how much Mel loves a caper. Cleo is here to make an entrance and then a hasty exit... with Mr. Shimizu's heart. Bonus Content: 2nd grade humor, Jessica Hare, getting jokes live on the podcast, Ana Huang's Twisted series, a high speed finger bang, honey badgers, the brand new taste sensation "Squelchers," and so much more! BIG REMINDER TO SEND IN YOUR READING EMBRACE! Lady Loves: Sabrina - Being in charge of her own finances so that sometimes she can buy a 40 pack of Gushers. Mel - Generic Candy Cane Oreos! They've got chunks of candy canes in the filling and it's SO SATISFYING. Get 'em at your local Aldi! The brand name is Benton's. Make sure to check out Mel's new podcast Bonkers Romance! Subscribe! Rate! Review! Tell all your friends :) Get more content on PATREON!! Sign up for our Newsletter! MERCH! Teepublic, Chicaloo Kate, Redbubble Instagram: @heavingbosoms Twitter: @heaving_bosoms

Hey HBs! Your fave Nic is here with Mel and Sabrina for our annual Christmas movie episode! We signed up for a lighthearted romance and instead we got a lighthearted THRILLER! In this airport Marriott, Christmas Magic has turned malignant. Wishes will be distorted, bodies will be snatched, and cookies will be decorated to be PURPOSEFULLY UGLY gah! No, but seriously, WTF is this movie. Currently, you can stream it on Hulu. Bonus Content: a Christmas song that will steal your whole brain, Cheekbones the Heroine, Quizzical Brows the Hero, Crazy Eyes the Hitler Youth Haircut/Victim, THE CHRISTMAS CRONE IS BACK, filming in hotels, gingerbread/reindeer cookies, Planning The Donner Party, knowing how to pronounce your name backwards, The King of All Dogs (that's a Cult Podcast reference, thanks Paige & Armando!), and so much more! Lady Loves: Mel - This video of Renee Rapp doing a big instinctual protect on Drew Barrymore! Sabrina - SLEEP! Listen to your body! Nic - Check in with your brain and emotional landscape and give yourself some slack! You deserve it! It's a tough time of year! (Note from Mel: maybe your episode will be a couple days late! But it's Christmas and seasonal affective disorder is a thing and that has to be ok. HUGS!) Make sure to check out Mel's new podcast Bonkers Romance! Subscribe! Rate! Review! Tell all your friends :) Get more content on PATREON!! Sign up for our Newsletter! MERCH! Teepublic, Chicaloo Kate, Redbubble Instagram: @heavingbosoms Twitter: @heaving_bosoms