To Baby or Not To Baby?

Naomi chats with her husband, Dan, to discuss their experience of being new parents. They discuss: the different experiences men and women have of parenting, how tough the first months are, thinking about a second child, the impact it’s had on their relationship, taking on too much work too soon, working from home due to the pandemic.

Naomi talks to Rhian, who is 36 and single and has frozen her eggs to preserve her fertility. They discuss: how she’s always known that she wants to be a mum, making the initial call to the fertility clinic, the worry that harvesting eggs will affect her ability to get pregnant naturally, having to inject herself on a daily basis, the procedure to have the eggs harvested, the surprisingly reasonable cost of the process, telling dates about what’s she’s done, the peace of mind that comes with having done it.

Naomi speaks to Cat, who experienced extreme postnatal depression and was sectioned after the birth of her second child. They discuss: the thoughts that started to invade her mind, admitting that something wasn’t right, having suicidal thoughts, being admitted to hospital and eventually sectioned, hitting rock bottom, the road to recovery, returning home, managing her condition going forward. TRIGGER WARNING: this conversation includes in-depth discussion of suicidal thoughts and a suicide attempt. Please think carefully if this is something you’re comfortable listening to.

Naomi chats with Rob Howard, who is the host of the Locked Down, Knocked Up Podcast, which was launched because his wife, Gemma, got pregnant in lockdown! They discuss: procrastinating about having kids then having the choice made for you, being supportive while your wife is pregnant, being unprepared for an early arrival, having to leave mother and baby in hospital due to the Covid restrictions, bringing the family home.

Naomi chats with Gemma, who suffered a molar pregnancy and was given little chance of getting pregnant through natural means. They discuss: what a molar pregnancy is, the lottery of your IVF opportunities, being prescribed Clomid, the struggle to find out she’s even had a molar pregnancy, the grieving process, her very positive experience with hypnobirthing, deciding to do it again.

Naomi chats with Freddy, who is a single dad by choice and transgender man who carried and gave birth to his son. They discuss: discovering that transitioning wasn’t the end of his fertility, how the NHS is behind the trans community, having to come off testosterone, going through IUI, feeling isolated as a trans man going through pregnancy.

Naomi meets LeNora, who made the conscious decision in her early 20s to not have children. They discuss: the revelation that having children is a choice, telling her family the news, how it’s affected her dating life, discovering the childfree community.

Naomi chats with Jo, whose son was born 9 weeks premature. They discuss: the shock of going into labour when you’re not expecting it, the challenges of giving birth to a very small baby, not being allowed to touch your newborn, having to go home and leave your baby in the hospital, suffering from post traumatic stress after he was allowed to come home.

Naomi speaks to Rachel, whose journey to motherhood included ovarian cancer, IVF and a lockdown birth. They discuss: Rachel’s teenage battle with ovarian cancer, going through IVF at a young age, the doubts over whether she’ll be able to get pregnant, the experience of pregnancy, birth and looking after a newborn through lockdown.

Naomi chats with Sheridan Voysey about his ultimately fruitless attempts to become a parent. They discuss: finding out that your journey won’t be as smooth as you thought, the guilt that comes with being the one who is responsible for the problems, the strain this can put on a marriage, exploring adoption, the difficult decision to end their ten year journey, the stigma of male infertility.

Naomi chats with Rachel, who got pregnant by and is a co-parent with a friend. They discuss: being in no rush to have children, the discussions and contract involved in co-parenting, the challenges and benefits of co-parenting, having a child who lives in two places.

Naomi meets Anthea, who always thought she would have children, but changed her mind. They discuss: negotiating with her husband about whether to try for children or not, the strain of trying but not getting pregnant, the comfort of having friends who also don’t have kids, the positive effects once she decided to stop trying, the determination to fill her life with adventure.

After starting this podcast to decide whether she wanted to have children, Naomi gave birth to her daughter just a few weeks ago. She (virtually) sat down with Camilla to tell the story of the dramatic birth of her daughter, a month before the due date.

Naomi ends season two the same way as she ended season one by talking to her husband Dan. They discuss: how Naomi revealed she was pregnant, how he’s observed Naomi during her pregnancy, the resentment that can build from a pregnant person to their partner, how prepared he is for labour, their fears for when the baby is born, what kind of parents they think they’ll be.

Naomi chats with Angharad, who is a mum of two (with one on the way), but that doesn’t stop their family from travelling the world. They discuss: how travelling changes when you have a baby in tow, the ideal ages to take young children away, the places their children have already visited, her experiences of flying with young children, taking your child to a foreign hospital, tips for travelling with your family.

Naomi speaks to Helen who is a solo mum to an adopted son. They discuss: making the decision to adopt when single, going through IUI, the length of time the adoption process can take, how you get matched with a child, meeting her son for the first time, the first days and months as you get to know each other, how long it takes before you are legally a parent, contact with the biological parents, being honest with the child about where he comes from.

Naomi speaks to Marcia, who chose never to have children. They discuss: the book that changed her life, how her family reacted to her decision, launching the National Organization for Non-Parents, wavering on her decision to not have children, the things she’s been able to achieve without the responsibilities of being a parent, what she says to people who are on the fence about becoming a parent.

Naomi meets Tim who is a father of one and is recently widowed. They discuss: the difficult journey for Tim’s family as his wife’s cancer progressed, how he kept their daughter informed throughout, the first days following the bereavement, finding yourself as a solo dad to a daughter, finding the positives in a life despite what his family have gone through. TRIGGER WARNING: this deals with issues of cancer and the loss of a spouse.

Naomi chats with Charlotte, who has two children of her own, but is currently pregnant as a surrogate for her friend. They discuss: wanting to be a surrogate despite not enjoying being pregnant, donating eggs, the problem with laws around surrogacy in the UK, the different feeling from carrying your own child to carrying someone else’s, building a birth plan when the person giving birth isn’t the mother. If you’re interested in becoming a surrogate or donating your eggs, listen to the end of the episode for some useful links.

Naomi is joined by Julie, who is 33 weeks pregnant, thanks to IVF, and is single by choice, but also has Lyme disease. They discuss: the difference between a solo mum and a single mum, being pregnant with Lyme disease, getting into a bad marriage just to try and have a baby, negotiating the dating world when you’re in a rush to get pregnant, the process of choosing a sperm donor, the extra challenges of having a baby when you’re disabled.