HERself

No one really tells you how much parenting shifts once your kids reach school age, and there are a few things we deeply wish we had known sooner. The early years are all-consuming and survival-focused, which makes forward thinking feel nearly impossible. Now on the other side of that stage, we reflect on the bigger transitions kids experience once they enter school and the areas that deserve a little more intention. Key topics covered: What changes once kids enter school and why it can feel like a whole new parenting phase.How friendships evolve from “everyone is invited” to more complex social dynamics.Coaching kids through hard friendship moments, apologies, and repairing relationships.Why it’s important to remember your child’s experience may look different from your own.The impact of words and helping kids understand how their choices affect others.How to handle notes home from school and why the truth often lives in the middle.The value of volunteering at school and gaining perspective on a teacher’s day-to-day.Being pro teacher and why believing the teacher matters.Managing the overwhelm of school paperwork, sign-ups, and assignments.Creating systems at home so responsibilities don’t fall through the cracks.Teaching kids to apologize with intention, not just to avoid consequences.Why school-aged parenting can be challenging and incredibly fun at the same time. LINKS AND RESOURCES: LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF Let’s connect! HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

We turned the conversation over to you and asked one powerful question: In what ways do you struggle with comparison? The overwhelming response was the realization that comparison shows up far more often than we think, especially around money, careers, bodies, relationships, and even our kids. We unpack why comparison feels so loud today, how much of what we see is a highlight reel, and why everyone’s starting point, values, and circumstances are completely different. From navigating career shifts and body image to friendships, marriage, and parenting, this episode is a reminder that you are not behind, broken, or doing life wrong. You are simply living your own version of it. In this episode, we talk about: The sneaky ways comparison shows up, especially the thought of “What am I doing wrong and how can everyone else afford this?”Why social media hides financial stress, marriage struggles, and real life challenges.How different values and priorities shape what people choose to spend money and energy on.Career comparison and promotions, including Abby’s experience leaving the corporate world and redefining fulfillment.Why your job might not be the problem and how finding fulfillment outside of work can change everything.Body comparison, genetics, and why not everything is meant to come easily or naturally to everyone.The truth behind our friendship and why working together skews what people see.Comparing kids, milestones, achievements, and even siblings within the same family. LINKS AND RESOURCES: HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast HERSELF AMAZON STOREFRONT: https://amzlink.to/az0BrkLl5pX9u Let’s connect! HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Parenting in a village isn’t anything new. It’s a necessity for many families, especially when extended family isn’t close by. In this episode, we talk candidly about what it really looks like to build and rely on a village of friends, neighbors, and other families. If you’ve never done this before, know that it can feel intimidating at first. Trusting others with your kids, your schedule, and your needs takes time and practice but it gets easier, and it’s worth it. Key Topics Covered What it means to build a parenting village when family isn’t nearby.Why relying on others often starts out of necessity.How to ask for help clearly, specifically, and in a way that feels fair.Making drop-off birthday parties work for your family.When and how to incorporate paid support into your village.The impact of unexpected support and paying it forward.How building a village models healthy relationships and help-seeking for kids.Letting go of what you thought your village would look like and getting creative.Abby’s go-to coaching prompt for asking for help. LINKS AND RESOURCES: BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF Let’s connect! HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

What if the missing ingredient in your marriage, friendships, and parenting isn’t more fixing, but more fun? In this episode, we explore a powerful shift inspired by a viral quote: instead of always focusing on what’s wrong, what happens when we intentionally prioritize joy and play in our relationships? We reflect on how fun often comes naturally in dating but slowly fades as responsibilities, exhaustion, and parenthood take over. Through our honest stories, we unpack why fun is essential, how to bring it back in small, realistic ways, and how it can transform not just your marriage, but your friendships and your experience of parenting. In this episode, we cover: Why having more fun can be just as important as therapy for long-term relationships.How marriage dynamics shift after kids and why fun is often the first thing to disappear.Simple questions to help you take inventory of what actually feels fun and energizing right now.The difference between fun that happens away from your kids and fun you can create with them.Why shared experiences are key to deeper adult friendships and the power of being the one who sends the invite.A simple question to ask your kids to uncover when they feel most connected to you.Realistic, everyday ideas for adding more fun into parenting, even in busy seasons.Fun isn’t optional. It’s often the thing that restores energy, strengthens connection, and makes this season of life feel lighter and more sustainable. LINKS AND RESOURCES: HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast Let’s connect! HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Friendship doesn’t stay the same as we move through different seasons of life. Many of us grow up with built-in friends from childhood or college, but as we move, build careers, get married, and have kids, our relationships naturally shift. In this episode, we’re not talking about casual friendships or surface-level connections. We’re diving into the deeper, dependable friendships that truly support us, especially as we near 40. We share four key elements that define meaningful adult friendships. First, we talk about the importance of genuinely being proud of the people closest to us. True closeness often goes hand in hand with how someone makes us feel in our body and nervous system. The friends who help us feel calm, safe, and comfortable tend to be the ones who take relationships to the next level. We also explore the value of friends who celebrate our wins. Everyone deserves people they can run to with exciting news, knowing it will be met with genuine joy. If a relationship consistently feels one-sided or competitive, it may be a sign that it’s not meant to be a deeply close friendship. Life inevitably brings hard seasons, and we reflect on how powerful it is to have friends who show up when things get tough. We discuss how small acts, like following up when someone is going through something important, can leave a lasting impact and strengthen trust over time. We also remind listeners that no friendship is perfect. A single comment or moment doesn’t have to define an entire relationship. When something doesn’t sit right, honest conversations can create deeper understanding and connection, especially when the friendship is built on mutual respect. Finally, we talk about staying open to new friendships. You may not have met your future best friend yet. So many people are looking for meaningful connection, but it often takes courage, vulnerability, and someone willing to take the first step to make it happen. Molly Millwood’s Book: https://amzlink.to/az0iWvIxqfuUD Listen to HERself episode #10 with Molly Millwood: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/10-herself-expert-molly-millwood-on-motherhood-marriage-and-the-modern-dilemma LINKS AND RESOURCES: LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself Let’s connect! HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Decision making doesn’t get easier as life gets fuller and for many women, the constant stream of choices can feel exhausting. In this episode we unpack what decision fatigue really looks like, how it shows up in work and family life, and why trusting yourself is often the most important part of the process. Abby kicks things off by breaking down what actually makes a “good” decision, drawing from her coaching background and education at UW–Madison. She reminds us that we’re always making the best decision we can with the information we have at the time, and explains how the nervous system and personal values play a bigger role in decision making than we often realize. Amy shares behind-the-scenes insight into a recent work decision and reflects on how she gives herself more grace than most women do when it comes to the decision making process. Together, Abby and Amy walk through real-life examples; from building a home, to managing family logistics, and highlight how two people can arrive at the same decision through very different paths. They also explore confidence, indecision, and when it’s helpful (or not) to bring other people’s opinions into the mix. The episode wraps with a few simple, practical ways they’ve each reduced daily decision fatigue - small shifts that have made a big difference. If you’ve ever felt stuck, second-guessed yourself, or wished decisions felt a little lighter, this episode is your reminder that you already have what you need. Trust yourself. LINKS AND RESOURCES: FORAGE KITCHEN: Check out your nearest location MEDICUBE: https://www.amazon.com/shop/abbyrosegreen/list/R54GS6HT4LUG?ccs_id=3b5d46d5-2823-4297-b696-293066dbfa20 HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast Let’s connect! HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

HERself is officially six years old, and we can hardly believe it. In some ways the time has flown by, and in others, it feels like every lesson, challenge, and conversation has been earned. Podcasting is not easy, and most shows don’t make it this far, which makes this milestone incredibly meaningful to both of us. This podcast has been such a special part of our lives, and we’re just getting started. To celebrate six years, we’re recreating one of our very first episodes by revisiting the questions we answered back then and sharing how we would respond today. Over the past six years, we’ve grown in our marriages, in motherhood, and as individuals, and this episode is an honest reflection of that evolution. We begin by revisiting the question: What is your biggest struggle in marriage? Abby shares that six years ago her answer was score-keeping, but today her biggest challenge is around apologizing. Amy reflects on how her biggest struggle used to be the constant time crunch while juggling a nursing job, multiple businesses, and motherhood to three young kids. While that season has eased, her current challenge is navigating moments when both she and Drew are low on patience. Next, we revisit guilt in motherhood. Amy shares that her guilt once came from always feeling mentally pulled in different directions, while Abby reflects on how bedtime routines were once her hardest moment. Today, Abby’s guilt shows up during their busy nighttime family routines, as packed schedules often leave her wishing for more quality time with her kids. We then dive into the realities of being a working mom. Both of us share how difficult it is to find boundaries between work and family, especially when so much of our work overlaps with our personal lives. The struggle to protect time, avoid burnout, and not feel like we could always be working is still very real. We also open up about finances, reflecting on the debt we carried six years ago and the progress we’ve made since then. From there, we discuss body image and insecurities. Amy shares how she reached a place of true body confidence and developed a healthy relationship with food, while Abby reflects on navigating body dysmorphia during the early years of the podcast. Finally, we revisit the question of our proudest moments. Amy shares how her definition has shifted toward raising kind, thoughtful kids, while Abby laughs at her former answer and reflects on how much her perspective has changed. If we’re lucky enough, we’ll sit down and record this episode again when we’re 46. Thank you for being part of this journey with us—for growing, reflecting, and evolving alongside HERself. Here’s to the next six years. LINKS AND RESOURCES: BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF Let’s connect! HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

As the year winds down, it’s easy to jump straight into planning what’s next. But before you rush ahead, this episode of HERself is your reminder to pause, look back, and reflect on what this past year has held for you. Reflection isn’t about judgment, it’s about recognizing growth so you can move forward with clarity and excitement. Abby and Amy kick things off by sharing a simple reflection exercise they encourage every listener to try. As millennial women who work hard and tend to be hard on themselves, they know how easy it is to overlook what’s actually going well. To help spark that awareness, they each share three things they feel proud of and are doing well right now. Abby opens up about how much her morning routine impacts her entire day. Amy shares her growth around financial transparency with her husband, Drew. Abby also talks about the role supplements play in her health, particularly in managing her autoimmune disease. Amy shares her deep commitment to protecting her sleep, even if it means excusing herself from social situations. The conversation continues with Abby’s concept of “tomorrow prep” — thinking beyond meals to identify small things you can do today to make tomorrow smoother and less stressful. Later in the episode, Abby and Amy reflect honestly on areas where they want to improve. Amy notices herself slipping back into the habit of rushing through breakfast, while both hosts explore their relationship with food in a candid, unplanned conversation. It’s a reminder that growth isn’t linear and self-awareness is an ongoing process. This episode is an encouraging reminder that you can reset at any time. Reflection doesn’t mean dwelling on what didn’t go well, it means honoring what did, learning from what didn’t, and giving yourself permission to move forward with confidence. LINKS AND RESOURCES: HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast FORAGE KITCHEN: Check out your nearest location Let’s connect! HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Happy holidays HERself listeners. We know many people are busy with their friends and families this week. So we are throwing it back to one of our favorite episodes that we know is going to meet many of you with so much solidarity. Janelle Teves is one of those women who when you talk to her you instantly feel better. Not only does she know and respect that we are juggling a lot but she reminds us that we are doing an amazing job. Jeanelle Teves, is the Chief Commercial Officer of Bugaboo. She is also a speaker, a wife, and a mom of two kids; ages three and six. Jeanelle is crushing it in corporate America and has a stay at home partner. We cover both of these topics in our interview and we touch on confidence. Jeanelle shares how she built her own and how she fully embodies it. We know lots of our listeners have times in their lives where they contemplate a career move. Maybe you’ve thought about leaving your job all together and being a full-time stay at home parent? Jeanelle shares how she knows when it is time to make a change. She also manages a fully remote team and knows that for moms who are working from home, it can be easy to blur the lines between professional and mom. She shares her tips on how to set some boundaries both at home and with your work place. In Jeanelle’s family, she is the breadwinner and her husband is the full-time stay at home working parent. Jeanelle talks to us about how they came to this decision as a family and what she does to support her husband in finding time for himself outside of all the household work he puts in. Finally, we know that a lot of women can struggle with confidence at times. If this has been you, tune in to hear how Jeanelle is so unapologetic about her successes and the tips she has on how you yourself can grow in this area. LINKS AND RESOURCES: Follow Jeanelle on Instagram - @jeanelleteves Follow Jeanelle on LinkedIn Let’s connect! HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

This week, we’re getting honest about something we know so many of you are feeling too: the mental load of the holiday season. Even as two high-functioning women in very different ways, this stretch of the year has us struggling. Between the busy season in our industry—podcasting, affiliate links, end-of-year pushes—and the nonstop holiday commitments, we’ve both been feeling behind and overwhelmed. And if you’re there too, we want you to know: you’re not alone. We walk through the real mental load moms carry right now—coordinating gift lists, keeping track of school dress-up days, navigating volunteer asks, and trying to make everything magical on top of everyday life. So we talk about giving yourself grace, slowing down, and putting the load on paper so you can actually see what you’re carrying. We also dive into how differently we each cope. Amy checks in with herself more intentionally this time of year, especially because being overwhelmed means little comments from others can sting more than usual. Abby talks about being a natural ruminator—and how bringing things up with safe people, sooner rather than later, can bring so much peace of mind. Family dynamics during the holidays can get complicated, too. Amy shares the powerful reminder that she can’t control how other people experience the holiday. And if anxiety is creeping in, communicating that with the people closest to you can make all the difference. We also share how we balance two totally different approaches to managing the mental load. Abby swears by writing everything down. Amy has always found the idea overwhelming… but she’s giving it a try. And Abby walks through how to take that practice a step further once it’s all out of your head and on paper. A big takeaway for both of us? Choose one thing and complete it from start to finish. The more we multitask, the more scattered we feel. Slowing down and focusing on a single task has been grounding for us both. Toward the end, we highlight some incredibly helpful tips from our friend Kate Borsato of @theperinatalcollective (linked below). This community has walked alongside us for almost six years now, and we hope today’s episode helps you feel supported, understood, and a little lighter during such a busy season. You’re doing your best—and that’s enough. LINKS AND RESOURCES: JONES: https://www.jonesdairyfarm.com/ LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF The Perinatal Collective on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theperinatalcollective/ Let’s connect! HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

We’ve had Eli Weinstein on the podcast before (episode 182), where we focused on the postpartum period. Today, we’re talking about the next phase of parenthood—one that brings its own growing pains, relationship shifts, and a whole new set of expectations. In his new book, Eli introduces the “holy trinity” of relationships: expectations, perception, and reality. He walks us through how easy it is for these three to get misaligned. One example almost every parent can relate to: when one partner works from home, the expectation is that more will get done around the house. When it doesn’t happen, the perception becomes that the partner is lazy, when the reality is that no one ever clearly set the expectation in the first place. If you’ve been here for a bit, you know about Amy and Drew’s weekly meetings. Amy is honest—she doesn’t always look forward to them—but they’ve drastically improved clarity around roles and tasks. If you’re trying to bring something like this into your own relationship, Eli shares one simple 15-minute daily practice that can soften resistance and rebuild connection. We also get into a feeling many of us have had at some point: “Why does my spouse feel like another child I have to remind all the time?” Eli normalizes the frustration. Giving your partner direction—even if it seems obvious—is better than simmering in resentment later. Think of it as a reset: just like teaching a child how to walk, sometimes our partners have never been taught certain systems, and clarity is an act of kindness. Eli also breaks down his “import and export” lists. This framework helps families intentionally remove what no longer serves them while protecting what does. And of course, gratitude comes up—Eli shares why small, frequent expressions of appreciation might be the most powerful shift you can make in your marriage. Eli closes the conversation with a grounding reminder: every couple is navigating this same transition. You are not alone. It’s never too late to reset, reconnect, and focus on your relationship with more compassion and clarity. LINKS AND RESOURCES: VUORI: 20% off first purchase at: http://vuoriclothing.com/herself Listen to episode #182 - Eli Weinstein with a Male’s Perspective on Partnership After Kids and Sharing the Mental Load: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/eliweinsteinmentalload Pre-order his new book "From I Do to We Do" AND get a free workbook: https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/book Eli’s Website: https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/ The Dude Therapist Podcast: https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/podcast Follow Eli on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/eliweinstein_lcsw/ Let’s connect! HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

Friendship is one of the topics we get asked about most, so we brought back Dr. Marisa Franco, one of the world’s leading voices on human connection. We dive straight into the heart of modern friendship and start with something that influences every relationship we have: attachment styles. Marisa explains how these patterns begin in childhood, how they show up differently in adulthood, and why none of us fit neatly into one category. We explore one of the biggest questions we hear from listeners: if you tend to be anxious or avoidant, do you end up attracting friends with the same tendencies? Marisa shares one of her biggest challenges in her research—secure people continue to find each other easily, while those who struggle with connection often repeat the same patterns with similar types of friends. Since many of you are new moms or navigating school-aged seasons, we ask Marisa what to do when a friend needs more from you than you can realistically give. She reminds us that it’s okay to say no and that saying no with kindness helps preserve the relationship. Although friendship looks natural from the outside, we share honestly that it hasn’t always been effortless for us either. Amy opens up about how isolating early motherhood felt and why making new friends during that time was unexpectedly hard. If you’re in a season where friendship feels like it has to fall to the bottom of the list, Marisa offers a powerful reminder of why connection still matters—and what small steps can help bring it back to the forefront. Finally, we talk about the hardest part of friendship: knowing when it’s time to end one. Should you let the relationship fade or have a more direct conversation? Marisa shares how to discern which path is right, and she gives guidance on something we rarely talk about—grieving a friendship. LINKS AND RESOURCES: Listen to HERself episode #145 Dr. Marisa Franco on the Importance of Adult Friendship; https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/adultfriendship Read Dr. Marisa Franco’s Book; Platonic: https://amzlink.to/az0lb2DLKWeWk Follow Marisa on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmarisagfranco/ Dr. Marisa’s Website: https://drmarisagfranco.com/ HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF Let’s connect! HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

The holidays are here, and before the chaos kicks in, we wanted to sit down for a cozy reset with you. Think of this as the pep talk we all need—the kind you can take with you on a walk, a drive, or while you hide in the pantry for a minute of quiet. Today we’re sharing the mindset shifts and simple strategies that help us move through the holidays with more ease, compassion, and actual enjoyment. We talk about why we both love one big open-invite approach to Thanksgiving, what it’s like hosting when your family has complicated dynamics, and how to offer grace to your partner if they come from a divorced family. Abby opens up about growing through the disappointment of people not showing up, and Amy shares a grounding reminder for anyone juggling multiple households. We also dig into the lighter stuff—like food. Hosting doesn’t mean you have to do it all. Press the easy button, buy the pie, ask guests to bring what they need, or pack your own if you’re visiting. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s presence. And since tricky conversations happen, we share a few simple phrases you can keep in your back pocket when topics start going sideways. Getting your partner on the same page helps too, even if it doesn’t always work perfectly. As moms of three who often have 15+ people in our homes, we also talk about stepping away when you need a breather. Whether it’s a quick reset or heading to bed early—give yourself permission. Taking care of yourself helps you enjoy the holidays more, not less. Most of all, we hope this episode helps you craft the best holiday season you can have. And if it’s not magical? That’s okay too. Moms deserve joy this time of year, whatever that looks like for you. LINKS AND RESOURCES: LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF Let’s connect! HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Let’s be real — when it comes to chores, our kids could definitely be doing more. We’ve mentioned this topic before, but today we’re finally diving in headfirst: what are age-appropriate chores and responsibilities for kids? Inside the Kiefer and Green homes, things look a little different — and there’s room for improvement in both. In a world where everyone shows their highlight reels, we want to keep it honest. Yes, we have strengths, but we also have areas where we’re still figuring it out. Amy shares her goal of raising boys who can fully take care of themselves one day — the kind of men who know how to cook, clean, and do laundry without being asked. She doesn’t want any future partner looking at her like, “Who did you raise?” Abby opens up about the pressure she felt to be overly responsible as a child, and how she’s making sure her own kids don’t carry that same weight. Both agree: the men in our homes play a huge role in setting an example that everyone participates in keeping a household running. Then we get into one of the biggest debates — should kids be paid for chores? Amy shares exactly how much her boys earn for certain tasks and what’s still expected of them for free. Abby’s family takes a different approach, focusing on teamwork and shared responsibility — and she explains why that works so well for them. We also break down what age-appropriate chores actually look like — from toddlers learning independence through simple tasks, to preschoolers pitching in with supervision, to elementary-aged kids taking real ownership around the house. And for those preteens? You might be surprised by just how capable they are when given the chance. As you listen, think about what your family is doing well. Celebrate that! And then take one small step toward helping your kids grow their confidence and independence through everyday responsibility. Listen to Episode #308. Our Core Parenting Pillars We Stand By: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/episode-308-core-parenting-pillars Website where we found these lists of age appropriate chores: https://childdevelopmentinfo.com/chores/the-ultimate-list-of-age-appropriate-chores/ LINKS AND RESOURCES: HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself JONES: https://www.jonesdairyfarm.com/ Let’s connect! HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Today we’re welcoming Claire Lerner back to the podcast! Claire specializes in helping parents understand and support big reactors—kids whose emotions and reactions tend to run higher and deeper than most. Our first episode with Claire was one of our most popular, so we knew we had to bring her back for round two. If you’re parenting a child with a sensitive temperament, this episode will leave you feeling seen and equipped with real strategies to help your family thrive. In this conversation, we dive deeper into what works—and what doesn’t—when parenting spirited kids. Amy opens up about what she used to do differently before learning more about emotional regulation, and why she no longer feels like there’s no hope. Claire reminds us that growth for these kids starts with growth in us as parents—and with the right tools, things really can get better. We talk about what to do when traditional talk therapy isn’t the right fit, and how to handle it when your partner isn’t on the same page. Claire also shares how to navigate the tricky moments when siblings point out that your big reactor seems to get “different rules,” and what to do when their emotions seem even bigger in public settings. She explains why confidence and praise can be complicated for deeply feeling kids, and how to shift your language so it encourages them. We even cover what to do when a big reactor crosses a line with a younger sibling. Claire brings in real-life examples from her work, and we include some of the listener questions you submitted ahead of time. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed or worried that things will never improve, this episode will remind you that progress is possible—it’s never too late to reconnect and help your child (and yourself) grow. Visit Claire’s Website: https://www.lernerchilddevelopment.com/ Follow Claire on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lernerchilddevelopment/ Listen to episode #157 with Claire Lerner: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/clairelerner Claire’s new book Big Reactors: https://amzlink.to/az00iZb3Kz7XS LINKS AND RESOURCES: VUORI: 20% off first purchase at: http://vuoriclothing.com/herself LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF CORNBREAD HEMP: 30% off with code HERSELF cornbreadhemp.com/herself Let’s connect! HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Today’s episode looks a little different—Abby is solo behind the mic to share something that’s been weighing on her heart: the tug-of-war between loving motherhood and missing freedom. Freedom has always been one of Abby’s top core values, but motherhood changes everything. Overnight, the spontaneity disappears, replaced by structure, schedules, and responsibility. As much as we love our children, there’s this deep ache for autonomy—time to just be without worrying about what someone else needs next. In this raw and relatable conversation, Abby shares real-life reframes and practical strategies for moms who feel like they’ve lost themselves in motherhood. She opens up about the moments when she wonders, “How did I even get here?” and how she’s learning to shift her focus from what’s been lost to what’s been gained. From navigating kids’ sports schedules to redefining productivity, Abby brings honesty, humor, and heart to this discussion. She reminds us that while this season can feel long and heavy, it’s also fleeting—and filled with growth, love, and unexpected joy. LINKS AND RESOURCES: FORAGE KITCHEN: Check out your nearest - https://www.eatforage.com/ HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast Let’s connect! HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

You already know we’re open books around here, so when we sat down to record an episode of things you might not know about us, we quickly realized… this was harder than it sounded! We share so much on this podcast, but we did manage to find a few fun and unexpected things that even our most loyal listeners may not have heard before. Amy kicks things off by sharing one about Abby—let’s just say Abby sometimes thinks the rules don’t apply to her. If she doesn’t agree with a rule, she’s not likely to follow it. Meanwhile, Amy’s perspective on rules might surprise you. We also dig into how each of us handles stress and uncertainty. Amy’s not particularly attached to things and has a grounded belief that unless something bad happens to someone she loves, everything will be okay. Abby, on the other hand, tends to think in terms of the worst case scenario—if something goes wrong, her first thought is usually, “How much work is this going to cause me?” We also compare our spending habits. When you think of a “big purchase,” what amount comes to mind? Amy shares her number—and it might not be what you expect. While Amy is more cautious about bigger buys, she is also the queen of small, repeated purchases. Whereas Abby, even if she’s hungry, she’ll wait until she’s home to eat what’s already there. You’ll also hear why Abby is easily influenced, how Amy falls down the doom-scrolling rabbit hole, and which one of us prefers multitasking while watching TV versus doing things in total silence. And finally, Amy shares what she means when she says she has a calling to be a wild and free animal. This one’s lighthearted, real, and full of those behind-the-scenes stories that make us who we are. Tune in for laughter, a few surprises, and maybe a deeper understanding of why we each do the things we do. LINKS AND RESOURCES: BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF Let’s connect! HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

In a world of all kinds of parenting information Abby and Amy have really honed in on what their true core values are when it comes to raising their kids. In today’s episode they dive into their core parenting pillars. In this episode, you’ll hear heartfelt stories and practical parenting tips centered around defining family values, embracing differences, and fostering inclusion. The conversation covers how both families value the importance of safety measures like wearing helmets, promoting healthy lifestyles through balanced meals and regular movement, and teaching sportsmanship and respect to adults and peers on and off the field. Abby and Amy also discuss encouraging independence, building resilience by allowing their kids to solve age-appropriate problems at home or school, and finding balance with screen time to promote a healthy relationship with tech and foster more family connection. The hope with today’s episode is that you take away the fact that every family can have different core pillars and values, and that’s okay! Finding what you feel strongly about and standing firm in those values that drive your everyday decisions is what is important! LINKS AND RESOURCES: COZY EARTH: 20% off with code HERSELF https://cozyearth.com/ CORNBREAD HEMP: 30% off with code HERSELF cornbreadhemp.com/herself PATREON: Join our exclusive community where we drop a bonus episode every single week: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast Let’s connect! HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

The subject of in-laws is one that hits home for many of us—and today’s conversation with Dr. Tracy D goes deep. One of our most downloaded episodes ever featured her, and we knew we had to bring her back to talk about what’s changed, what hasn’t, and how to navigate these tricky family patterns in new seasons of life. You didn’t just marry your partner—you married into their family’s patterns. Where’s the line between accepting those patterns and creating healthy boundaries? Dr. Tracy helps us understand the balance between acceptance and self-protection, reminding us that you are not the bad one for noticing the pattern. If you’ve ever felt frustrated, guilty, or misunderstood in your in-law relationships, this episode will leave you feeling seen, grounded, and hopeful about what’s possible. Connect with Dr. Tracy D: Book: You, Your Husband, and His Mother (coming soon!): https://www.drtracyd.com/ Instagram: @drtracyd Listen to past HERself episodes with Dr. Tracy: Episode 16: HERself Expert: Psychologist Dr. Tracy Dalgleish on Managing Anxiety in a Pandemic: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/16-herself-expert-psychologist-dr-tracy-dalgleish-on-managing-anxiety-in-a-pandemic Episode 17: HERself Expert: Dr. Tracy Dalgleish - Psychologist and Couples Therapist on How to Keep Your Relationship Healthy During Social Distancing: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/17-herself-expert-dr-tracy-dalgleish-psychologist-and-couples-therapist-on-how-to-keep-your-relationship-healthy-during-social-distancing Episode 93: HERself Expert: Tracy Dalgleish On All Things In-Laws - Part 1: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/93-herself-expert-tracy-dalgleish-on-all-things-in-laws-part-1 Episode 94: HERself Expert: Tracy Dalgleish On All Things In-Laws - Part 2: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/94-herself-expert-tracy-dalgleish-on-all-things-in-laws-part-2 Episode 198: Dr. Tracy D on Reconnecting with Your Partner: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/tracydreconnectingwithyourpartner LINKS AND RESOURCES: LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF FORAGE KITCHEN: Check out your nearest location CORNBREAD HEMP: 30% off with code HERSELF cornbreadhemp.com/herself Let’s connect! HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

Aging has been on our minds a lot lately. At 39, we’re standing on the edge of a new decade, and with that, we continue to have more conversations around perimenopause, energy levels, and taking care of our bodies. In this episode, we’re opening up about what aging looks and feels like for us right now—the struggles, the science, accepting it, and the ways we’re finding strength in this next chapter. Abby shares her personal journey with hormone replacement therapy (HRT) after her doctor recommended it to help with fatigue, weight fluctuations, and low energy despite healthy habits. She explains what the process has been like, why she finally took the leap, and how HRT has impacted her day-to-day life. We also talk about why perimenopause isn’t linear and how that affects women differently—including why pregnancies are still common in your early 40s. If you’re in a similar phase of life, we bring you really tangible ideas and where to start. . From magnesium and supplements to lifting weights and prioritizing sleep, we dive into the small but powerful habits that can set us up for long-term success. Amy shares why she credits weightlifting for her energy at age 39, how her college years shaped her approach to fitness, and why she plans to keep lifting into her 80s. We also touch on NAD+ injections, the role of fiber in our diets, and why working out isn’t about chasing a certain look—it’s about creating a body that can carry us into our future. As women, it’s easy to fall into comparison traps—whether it’s against the version of ourselves 20 years ago or the highlight reel of another woman’s life. But aging has taught us to focus less on the scale and more on how we feel. Our habits are catching up with us now more than ever, and that’s not a bad thing—it’s a chance to make meaningful, lasting changes. At the heart of this episode is a reminder: aging is a blessing. It’s a privilege to grow older, to share life with the people we love, and to keep finding new ways to take care of ourselves. We hope this conversation leaves you inspired to embrace aging with curiosity, compassion, and the courage to take even one small step forward. Follow @dramyshah on Instagram The health and wellness products we swear by: Affiliate Link LINKS AND RESOURCES: GOODR: Free Shipping with code HERSELF: https://goodr.com/herself VUORI: 20% off first purchase at: http://vuoriclothing.com/herself BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself Let’s connect! HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.