Feminist Wellness

#366: Ever been certain someone was mad at you, disappointed in you, or about to leave you… only to find out you were completely wrong? What if that certainty wasn’t intuition at all, but projection? In this episode, I unpack projection through the lens of emotional outsourcing. I walk you through how your nervous system takes fear, shame, anger, or need and unconsciously assigns it to someone else. From assuming your partner is furious, to spiraling over a short email from your boss, to believing a friend doesn’t care about you, you’ll learn how projection distorts reality and quietly destroys your relationships. Join me this week to learn how projection forms in the nervous system, why it feels so real in your body, what it costs you in intimacy and self-trust, and how to interrupt it. I’ll also share practical ways to pause between sensation and story, stay present with your own feelings, and respond to what’s actually happening instead of reacting to old fear. Click here to check out Anchored: https://beatrizalbina.com/anchored/ Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/366 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en Mentioned in this episode: Join Anchored! If you’re ready to break away from anxiety and codependent relationships so you can live a life of joy and confidence, Anchored is for you. This is my 6-month high-touch, high-results coaching program, and we’re currently enrolling. Click here to find out more: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/anchored Join Anchored

Tenderoni Hotline #20: Hello, my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline. Today, I’m joined by the luminous and deeply grounded Rose Zeeland, financial planner, death doula, and a radiant graduate of the Anchored program. In this powerful and heartfelt conversation, Rose shares her journey from emotional flashbacks, perfectionism, and the chronic belief that she was “broken”… to a place of embodied healing, nervous system safety, and radical self-acceptance. We talk about what it means to move beyond just talking about healing and into the felt sense of coming home to yourself. Rose opens up about learning the language of her nervous system, redefining boundaries with love, and how she stopped outsourcing her worth to others and started honoring her full humanity, on her own terms. Together, we explore healing from internalized shame, the magic of being witnessed in community, and why this work isn’t about fixing what’s “wrong” with us but remembering what’s always been whole within us. If you’ve ever felt like you were the only one who couldn’t figure it out, the only one “too much” or “not enough,” this episode is for you. So get cozy, press play, and come be held by this beautiful story of reclamation, resilience, and return with Rose. Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: podcast@beatrizalbina.com Learn more about Anchored and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/anchored Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

#365: Have you ever noticed how often the word sorry slips out of your mouth before you’ve even decided whether you’ve done anything wrong? Sorry for asking. Sorry for taking up space. Sorry for having a feeling. Sorry for existing. If that reflex feels familiar, this episode is for you. This week, I explore why default sorry has nothing to do with politeness and everything to do with a nervous system that learned safety through shrinking. You’ll learn how the habit of saying sorry gets wired into the nervous system, why insight and willpower alone don’t make it stop, and what actually helps your body feel safe enough to take up space. Click here to check out Anchored: https://beatrizalbina.com/anchored/ Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/365 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en Mentioned in this episode: Join Anchored! If you’re ready to break away from anxiety and codependent relationships so you can live a life of joy and confidence, Anchored is for you. This is my 6-month high-touch, high-results coaching program, and we’re currently enrolling. Click here to find out more: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/anchored Join Anchored

Tenderoni Hotline #19: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of the Feminist Wellness Podcast where we explore your most tender questions about healing, nervous system care, and returning home to yourself. In today’s episode, we’re moving through three questions that speak right to the heart of healing for emotionally outsourced humans: First: What do I do when someone ignores my boundary? We’ll talk about how to respond with clarity and compassion, the difference between miscommunication and disregard, and how to stay rooted in self-trust when boundary-setting feels heartbreaking. Next: Why do I cry so much? And is that actually okay? We’ll explore the nervous system science behind emotional tears, how crying can shift your internal state, and why there is no shame in your body’s brilliant and built-in ways of processing emotion. And finally: What if I’m too broken for any of this to work? Whether you’ve secretly believed you’re the exception to healing or worry you’ve tried everything, this part of the episode is a love letter to the part of you that feels beyond help and the truth that you’re not. You’ll walk away with a deeper understanding of how boundaries, emotions, and old protective beliefs all tie back to your nervous system’s wisdom. And most importantly, how to meet yourself with grace, curiosity, and care when things feel hard. So go ahead and grab your softest blanket, pour something grounding, and settle in. I’m so glad you’re here. Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: podcast@beatrizalbina.com Learn more about Anchored and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/anchored Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

#364: In this episode, I’m joined by Susan Klunder, a recent graduate of Anchored, my six-month coaching and somatics program. Susan shares her lived experience of moving from chronic people-pleasing, perfectionism, and emotional outsourcing into a life that feels grounded, joyful, and genuinely her own. We talk about what it was like before Anchored, when she had done years of therapy, coaching, and personal development, but still felt overwhelmed, disconnected, and driven by fear rather than trust. Susan reflects on how Anchored helped her understand her nervous system patterns in real time, shift out of overfunctioning, and develop deep self-trust without losing her drive, ambition, or care for others. This conversation is a powerful example of what becomes possible when nervous system healing happens in community. Join us as Susan shares how Anchored changed her work life, her relationships, her parenting, and her capacity for joy. If you’ve ever wondered what’s actually on the other side of emotional outsourcing, this episode offers a grounded, honest look at what healing can create. Click here to check out Anchored: https://beatrizalbina.com/anchored/ Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/364 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en Mentioned in this episode: Join Anchored! If you’re ready to break away from anxiety and codependent relationships so you can live a life of joy and confidence, Anchored is for you. This is my 6-month high-touch, high-results coaching program, and we’re currently enrolling. Click here to find out more: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/anchored Join Anchored

Tenderoni Hotline #18: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tender Hotline, the soft and spacious corner of the Feminist Wellness Podcast where we explore your most intimate and layered questions about healing, nervous system care, and reclaiming your self-trust. In this episode, we’re diving into three powerful questions that so many emotionally outsourced folks grapple with: Do I have to fully love myself before I’m ready for real love? How do I know if I’m truly healing or just coping while everything stays the same? And is focusing on myself while the world feels like it’s falling apart actually selfish? Together, we unpack the myth that healing has to happen in isolation. You’ll hear why real love isn’t reserved for the “fully healed,” and how our capacity for connection grows not in perfection, but in proximity and presence. We also explore how nervous system regulation can sometimes turn into a strategy for tolerating the intolerable, and how to shift from performative calm to embodied clarity and action. We talk about how emotional outsourcing, or looking to others for your sense of safety, belonging, and worth, distorts love and keeps you stuck in survival mode. And we name the ways that focusing on your own healing and self-connection is not selfish, but a radical act of reclamation that serves both you and the collective. So my love, go ahead and grab your softest blanket, pour something warm and grounding, and settle in. I’m so glad you’re here. Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: podcast@beatrizalbina.com Learn more about Anchored and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/anchored Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

#363: In this episode, I’m revisiting one of the most shared conversations on the show because it explains something so many people feel but can’t quite name: emotional outsourcing. Emotional outsourcing forms in early relationships, gets reinforced by family systems and culture, and persists even when you intellectually understand it. This pattern lives in the body, not just the mind, which is why insight alone doesn’t create change. Listen in this week as I share a compassionate path toward healing emotional outsourcing by rebuilding safety within your nervous system. You’ll learn how emotional outsourcing shows up somatically, how it disconnects you from your own needs and desires, and the real costs it takes on your health, relationships, and sense of self. Most importantly, this is about coming home to yourself gently, reclaiming agency, and learning to trust your internal guidance again without shame, force, or rushing. Click here to check out Anchored: https://beatrizalbina.com/anchored/ Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/363 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en Mentioned in this episode: Join Anchored! If you’re ready to break away from anxiety and codependent relationships so you can live a life of joy and confidence, Anchored is for you. This is my 6-month high-touch, high-results coaching program, and we’re currently enrolling. Click here to find out more: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/anchored Join Anchored

Tenderoni Hotline #17: Hello, my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline. Today, I’m joined by the brilliant and multi-passionate Busayo Ayodele, a lawyer, mother, writer, and radiant force of nature. Busayo is a graduate of the Anchored program, and in this deeply inspiring conversation, she shares her journey from emotional overwhelm, perfectionism, and constant overfunctioning... to self-trust, nervous system safety, and true inner freedom. We talk about what it means to stop living on autopilot and start showing up for yourself in real time. Not as a performance, but as an act of radical self-love. Busayo opens up about breaking the cycle of always putting others first, learning to regulate through life’s hardest moments, and how she’s now modeling emotional resilience and self-trust for her young daughter. Together, we explore healing from functional freeze, the power of being seen in community, and the deep transformation that happens when we stop masking and start investing in ourselves. Not out of emergency, but out of devotion. If you’ve ever wondered whether it’s really possible to shift lifelong habits of people-pleasing or perfectionism, let this episode be your evidence that it is. So get cozy, press play, and come listen to this gorgeous story of freedom, healing, and returning to your own center with Busayo. Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: podcast@beatrizalbina.com Learn more about Anchored and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/anchored Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

#362: Have you ever thought, “I should be able to figure this out on my own”? Maybe it's about healing old patterns, setting boundaries, or finally stopping the people-pleasing that's exhausting you. Here's what I've learned after years of doing this work: That voice telling you to go it alone? It's not wisdom talking. It's the same pattern that taught you your needs were too much in the first place. Join me this week to learn why nervous system healing isn’t meant to be done alone, and how witnessing others with completely different lives describe the same tight chest, the same looping thoughts, and the same fear of being too much or not enough can crack something open in your nervous system. Most importantly, you'll hear why going it alone isn't noble but is actually recreating the conditions that hurt you in the first place. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/362 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en Join Anchored here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/anchored Register for the Nervous System Healing workshop here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/nervoussystemwebinar Mentioned in this episode: Join Nervous System Healing to End Codependency! Nervous System Healing to End Codependency is my free, 90-minute workshop where you’ll learn my 3-part somatic framework to free yourself from codependency and live a fully embodied life. Join me live on January 27th, 2026, at 3pm ET or January 28th, 2026, at 12pm ET. Click here to register for free: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/nervoussystemwebinar NS Healing Workshop Join Anchored! If you’re ready to break away from anxiety and codependent relationships so you can live a life of joy and confidence, Anchored is for you. This is my 6-month high-touch, high-results coaching program, and we’re currently enrolling. Click here to find out more: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/anchored Join Anchored

Tenderoni Hotline #16: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of the Feminist Wellness Podcast where we explore your most tender questions about healing, nervous system care, and returning home to yourself. In today’s episode, we’re exploring questions that sit at the heart of healing work, especially for those of us socialized to over-function, people-please, and emotionally outsource our sense of worth. First: Why does healing emotional outsourcing matter when the world feels like it’s falling apart? We’ll unpack how constantly looking outside ourselves for safety, belonging, and validation isn’t just personally draining. It actually fuels the very systems of oppression we’re trying to survive. You’ll learn how reclaiming your self-trust isn’t selfish. It is a radical, nervous-system-based intervention that creates space for grounded action and collective care. We also dive into: How do I actually make space for rest when I’m already exhausted, overwhelmed, and in survival mode? Together, we’ll explore why rest isn’t just about stopping. It's about shifting the internal conditions that keep us bracing, proving, and pushing. You’ll hear why “just rest” advice rarely works for nervous systems that don’t feel safe, and what to do instead. You’ll walk away with a clearer understanding of how emotional outsourcing keeps us stuck, why rest is both sacred and necessary, and what small, doable steps you can take to come back to yourself with compassion and care. So go ahead and grab your softest blanket, pour something warm and grounding, and settle in. I’m so glad you’re here. Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: podcast@beatrizalbina.com Learn more about Anchored and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/anchored Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

Nervous System Healing to End Codependency is my free, 90-minute workshop where you’ll learn my 3-part somatic framework to free yourself from codependency and live a fully embodied life. Join me live on January 27th, 2026, at 3pm ET or January 28th, 2026, at 12pm ET. Click here to register for free: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/nervoussystemwebinar

#361: Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “I don't have any real trauma, so why do I still struggle with people-pleasing?” Many people hear about emotional outsourcing and immediately disqualify themselves from the conversation because they didn't have what they consider a "bad enough" childhood. In this episode, I want to speak directly to those folks who recognize codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing behaviors in themselves but struggle to claim this truth because there was no obvious trauma, no catastrophe, no singular story that explains it all. Join me this week to learn why you don’t need to have experienced trauma to have codependent, perfectionist, or people-pleasing habits, and why cognitive insight alone rarely resolves these patterns. If you're tired of feeling like your struggles aren't "valid enough" for help, this episode is your permission slip. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/361 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en Mentioned in this episode: Join Anchored! If you’re ready to break away from anxiety and codependent relationships so you can live a life of joy and confidence, Anchored is for you. This is my 6-month high-touch, high-results coaching program, and we’re currently enrolling. Click here to find out more: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/anchored Join Anchored

Tenderoni Hotline #15: Hello, my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline. Today’s episode is tender, powerful, and so deeply human. It is a conversation about breaking free from people pleasing, perfectionism, and codependent habits, and what it truly means to come home to yourself. I’m joined by the radiant Monica Silva, a nurse, artist, parent, and graduate of the Anchored program. In this heartfelt conversation, Monica shares what led them to Anchored after years of chronic stress, overfunctioning, and trying to earn their worth through caretaking and doing it all. Their story is a beautiful example of what becomes possible when we start building safety within. Together, we explore what it means to listen to your body, access somatic self-trust, and let go of survival patterns that no longer serve you, all without rejecting the parts of you that helped you get this far. Monica offers gorgeous reflections on nervous system healing, conscious parenting, community care, and learning to make aligned decisions without needing a pros and cons list or anyone else’s approval. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, emotionally outsourced, or unsure how to trust your gut again, this conversation is a warm and affirming invitation back to your own center. It’s about honoring your capacity, reclaiming your worth, and becoming your own North Star, without guilt. So get cozy, pour a cup of something soothing, and come listen in on this beautiful exchange. Check out Monica’s art and support her work: https://www.irisengine.art Learn more about Anchored and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/anchored Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

#360: This week, I'm diving into something that came up with a client recently who said, “Listen, I want to stop emotional outsourcing, but there is a part of me that feels really scared. Because I've been doing this my whole life and I'm realizing I don't really know who I am without these habits.” And wow, does that make so much sense. Join me on this episode as I paint you a picture of what's actually on the other side of emotional outsourcing (let me tell you, it is so freaking rad over here). Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/360 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

Somatics to Reclaim Your Authentic Self is my newest free live webinar where you’ll learn how to connect to your authentic self through somatics and thought work. Join me live on January 12th, 2026, at 8pm ET or January 14th, 2026, at 12pm ET. Click here to register for free: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/authenticity

Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of the Feminist Wellness Podcast where we explore your most tender questions about healing, nervous system care, and returning home to yourself. In today’s episode, we’re diving into three powerful questions that illuminate just how deeply our nervous systems are wired to protect us, even when those protections feel confusing or frustrating. First, why do I feel anxious and disoriented after talking to my mom, even when the conversation seemed “fine”? We’ll explore how old relational patterns, emotional labor, and unspoken survival strategies can leave your body braced and buzzing long after you hang up. Next, we unpack what’s really going on when you pull your hair without realizing it. If you’ve ever felt ashamed about this, please know you are not broken. You’ll learn how body-focused behaviors like hair pulling can be unconscious attempts to regulate or ground when your system doesn’t have other tools. Finally, we explore what it means to be physically present, but mentally checked out. If you’ve felt like you’re watching your life from a distance or constantly lagging behind real time, this conversation on dissociation and functional freeze will help you understand why, and what you can do about it. You’ll walk away with insight, compassion, and nervous-system-centered practices to support your healing from the inside out. So grab your coziest blanket, pour a warm drink, and come settle into the tenderness with me. Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: podcast@beatrizalbina.com Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

#359: Have you been taught that your safety, belonging, and love were conditional? That they could only be earned by contorting yourself into someone else's idea of enough? This week, I’m inviting you to step away from the pressure of resolutions and into a different kind of conversation for the new year. One that's about reclaiming the parts of you that have been quietly set aside. The parts of you that got buried under layers of self-doubt, fear, and the relentless pressure to be what others needed you to be. I'm talking here about your values: the core grounding principles that make you, you. Tune in today to discover how resolutions are often just another set of icky, exhausting expectations. You'll learn why kitten steps (not baby steps, which are enormous!) are the nervous system-friendly way to make sustainable change. Most importantly, you'll understand that you don't need fixing because you were never broken, and that this work isn't about self-improvement - it's about self-remembrance. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/359 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

Tenderoni Hotline #13: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, the segment where we explore the soft and spacious path of healing, nervous system care, and returning home to yourself. In today’s episode, I’m offering you a different kind of New Year’s message. Not one about resolutions or becoming a better version of yourself, but one about remembering who you already are. This episode is a love letter, a wish, a grounding reminder to carry with you as the year unfolds. Together, we’ll explore what it means to choose rest over hustle, to listen to your body before the world’s expectations, and to let go of the shame-fueled push for perfection. I’ll guide you through what it looks like to step into small acts of self-regard, to loosen the grip of old codependent and people-pleasing habits, and to build a relationship with yourself rooted in trust, honesty, and compassion. You’ll walk away with a deeper sense of what it means to source your worth from within, to honor your nervous system’s wisdom, and to meet yourself with tenderness in the moments that matter most. So grab something warm, take a deep breath, and let’s begin this year with love and intention... together. Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: podcast@beatrizalbina.com Order your copy of End Emotional Outsouring here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

#358: This week, we're stepping into the winter solstice with a special gift - a collection of powerful moments from past episodes that capture the heart of what Feminist Wellness is all about. Whether you're celebrating the holidays, marking Yule, or simply taking a breath in this midwinter moment, this episode invites you to pause and come home to yourself through what I call a kitten step: the smallest possible step toward growth, even smaller than a baby step (because those are way too big). Join me this week as I share some of the most transformative teachings from recent conversations about breaking free from the systems that keep us small. From understanding emotional outsourcing patterns to practical tools for reclaiming your emotional space as an act of resistance, these insights offer a path toward collective liberation that starts with the revolutionary act of being kind to yourself. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/358 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en Mentioned in this episode: Buy Your Copy of End Emotional Outsourcing Today! Please support the book by reviewing it on Amazon or Goodreads. It helps the book reach more folks who are still living in old survival patterns and don’t have language for it yet. Drop your screenshot at beatrizalbina.com/book and you’ll get access to thank-you gifts and raffles for free breathwork sessions, coaching, and audiobook copies. I appreciate you more than you know. Get your copy today: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/book EEO Pre-Sale

Tenderoni Hotline #12: Hello, my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline. Today’s episode is a true gift, a clarifying, empowering, and deeply nerdy deep dive into all things perimenopause, hormones, and how to actually get the support you deserve. I’m joined by my dear friend and longtime women’s health advocate, Mariza Snyder, for a conversation that every midlife woman (and every clinician who serves them) needs to hear. Mariza is a practitioner, author, and speaker with over 17 years of experience, and the brilliant mind behind the Energized podcast. Together, we break down the science behind perimenopause, bust some harmful myths, and get into the nitty-gritty about progesterone, estrogen, testosterone, HRT, and beyond. We also talk about how to advocate for yourself at the doctor’s office, why lab work isn’t everything, and how to navigate this hormonal transition with confidence, clarity, and compassion. Mariza shares from both her clinical expertise and personal story, and offers powerful tools to help you feel more like yourself again, rested, resourced, and rooted in your truth. This episode is rich with real talk, science-backed wisdom, and loving reminders that your symptoms are real and your care should match your lived experience. Whether you’re in your mid-30s or well into your 50s, this one is essential listening. So get cozy, grab your journal, and let’s get nerdy in the best way. More From Mariza: - Learn about Mariza’s book, The Perimenopause Revolution, here: http://drmariza.com/book - The Perimenopause Toolkit Bonus Page: https://peri-revolution.com/ - Thriving in Perimenopause Survival Guide: https://drmariza.com/perimenopausesurvival - Learn more about Mariza at drmariza.com Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: podcast@beatrizalbina.com Order your copy of End Emotional Outsouring here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en