Seeing Other People

I’m joined by Colette Jane Fehr, couples therapist, relationship expert, and author of The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations That Create Secure, Lasting Love. We talk about why “not fighting” isn’t the same as being connected, how losing your voice can slowly erode a relationship, and what it actually means to do the work in love. Colette shares how her own divorce, dating experiences, and attachment patterns shaped the way she shows up in her second marriage, and why speaking up (even when it’s scary) is the key to secure love. We get into conflict avoidance, anxious vs. avoidant dynamics, the fear of being “too much,” and more. Grab the book here ALL links here (submit a Q, share your story on the pod, dating coaching & more) Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com. Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE Redefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week on Co-Hosts for Life, we’re catching up on work offsites, falling off our 20-week challenge, and the half marathon I secretly signed up for that got canceled, so I ran it alone anyway. I share why I needed that race for myself and how it ended up being one of my strongest runs ever. Then we answer your questions about supporting a friend through a breakup, losing the “obsessed” feeling in long-term relationships, and what it really means when someone slowly pulls back while dating. We also talk about freedom versus stability, catching feelings for a friend’s ex, and how to know if it is worth exploring. As always, Jake gives his honest perspective and reminds you to send this episode to a friend. ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more) Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com. Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE Redefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In Part 2 of my career story, I’m picking up right where we left off — from losing my job at Hinge to launching Seeing Other People just weeks later. I break down how the podcast actually grew, why co-hosting didn’t last, and what it really looks like to make money as a podcaster, content creator, and dating coach. I get radically honest about freelancing, brand deals, influencer income, pay transparency, and the instability no one warns you about. ALL links here (links, submit a question, dating coaching & more) Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com. Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE Redefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We’re recapping an unforgettable weekend in London celebrating Jake’s brother Jeff and his now-fiancée Sydney’s engagement. We talk about the behind-the-scenes chaos of keeping the surprise secret, tracking them on Find My Friends, dodging FaceTime calls, and the moment everyone ran out to surprise them. We also catch up on our 20-week challenge struggles, Ilana’s mortifying podcast scheduling mishap, Barkley’s health scare, and of course… Jake’s deep dive Tell Me Lies finale theories (and his ongoing inability to say Pippa’s name). ALL links here (links, pitch your story to the pod, submit a question, dating coaching & more) Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com. If you’re looking for the perfect gift for your Valentine or yourself, the SKIMS Valentine’s Shop is now open. Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE Redefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In Part 1 of my career story, I’m breaking down how I got here –from quitting my photojournalism major at Syracuse, to hustling through internships in music, to landing my “dream job” at a major record label that left me underpaid, burned out, and questioning everything. I share what it actually takes to break into creative industries, the realities of pay and privilege, and how burnout and heartbreak pushed me to pivot out of music – ultimately landing me at Hinge, where my career (and confidence) took a major turn. ALL links here (links, submit a question, dating coaching & more) Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com. Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE Redefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if loving each other forever doesn’t automatically mean getting married? In this episode, I sit down with Maxon and Emily to talk about their unconventional love story and why they’re questioning marriage instead of rushing into it. We get into prenups, divorce, kids, legal myths, and whether marriage actually strengthens a relationship—or just complicates it. Should We Get Married? on Spotify and Apple Podcasts ALL links here (links, submit a question, dating coaching & more) Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com. If you’re looking for the perfect gift for your Valentine or yourself, the SKIMS Valentine’s Shop is now open. Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE Redefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I’m joined by Jessica Kameko, aka @TravelWithMeko, a full-time travel creator, student, marathon runner, medical esthetician, author, and mom of two. We talk about what her life actually looks like, why she chose to go back to school, what led her to becoming a single mom, and how she’s managed to build a life rooted in travel and flexibility. Then we get into dating as a single mom: how motherhood has changed how she dates, her non-negotiables, how quickly she has to vet people, what people get wrong about dating a single mom, navigating dating apps, co-parenting, and the advice she’d give anyone going through separation, divorce, or choosing motherhood on their own. Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com. If you’re looking for the perfect gift for your Valentine or yourself, the SKIMS Valentine’s Shop is now open. Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE Redefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We’re recording on the eve of our five-year “first date” anniversary and catching up on everything from freezing winter runs and challenge updates to surprise date nights and what it looks like to keep showing up for each other in the small ways. We answer a timely listener question about Valentine’s Day on a fifth date (do you bring a gift or just show up?), talk about dating your friends with more intention, and get into the tricky dynamics of breakups, like when friends suddenly admit they never liked your partner and how to support someone without piling on. .ALL links here (links, submit a question, dating coaching & more) Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com. If you’re looking for the perfect gift for your Valentine or yourself, the SKIMS Valentine’s Shop is now open. Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE Redefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I’m joined by my longtime friend Sarah and her husband Ben to talk about what happens when the people closest to you don’t support your relationship. We start with how they met and their very different religious journeys, then get into navigating outside opinions, value clashes, and major life changes while choosing each other anyway. Sarah shares what it was like to trust her own voice when friends and family pushed back, and Ben opens up about staying grounded through it all. @sarahtaplin @bentaplin @exhibitivart ALL links here ( links, submit a question, dating coaching & more) See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Author and British Vogue dating columnist Annie Lord joins the podcast to talk about heartbreak, healing, and what actually happens after a long-term relationship ends. We unpack the pain no one prepares you for, why “moving on” isn’t about erasing the past, and how breakups can force massive personal growth. Annie opens up about identity loss, avoidant dating patterns, modern dating burnout, and what she’s learned from writing Notes on Heartbreak — a book that takes heartbreak seriously instead of trying to fix it. ALL links here ( links, submit a question, dating coaching & more) See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week on Cohosts for Life, we talk about being in a season where friends are moving out of the city, buying homes, and stepping into new phases of life, while we’re still in New York figuring out what comes next. We unpack how friendships change with distance, how to stay close when you no longer share a zip code, and the mix of sadness and excitement that comes with watching people move on. Plus, adult hobbies, major gratitude, a big career update for Ilana, race sign-ups chaos, and more. ALL links here (links, submit a question, dating coaching, PP fundraiser & more) Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com. If you’re looking for the perfect gift for your Valentine or yourself, the SKIMS Valentine’s Shop is now open. Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE Redefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: this episode includes discussion of disordered eating and body image. Please take care while listening. I’m joined by Alana Paris, who opens up about her experience with GLP-1 medications and how the changes to her body have deeply impacted her confidence, dating life, and relationships. We talk about food noise, body image, dating avoidance, navigating vulnerability with new partners, and what it looks like to show up for dating when you finally feel at home in yourself. ALL links here ( links, submit a question, dating coaching & more) Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE Redefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this solo episode, I answer a few listener questions that all point to the same thing: why dating feels so confusing right now. I talk about how to stop hoping potential will turn into effort when someone’s energy changes, how to figure out which dating “rules” actually matter, and how to tell the difference between needing a break from dating and giving up out of burnout. I also explain why sending texts to the group chat for interpretation often creates more confusion, how to create clarity instead, and what to pay attention to when you’re unsure. ALL links here ( links, submit a question, dating coaching & more) Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE Redefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week on Cohosts for Life, we dive into a debate about which anniversaries actually matter once you’re married. We also answer a listener question about five great dates followed by sudden uncertainty, what it really means when someone says they “need to think,” and how to handle it without spiraling or settling. Plus: social media chaos, internet trends we don’t understand, surprise date planning for friends, and why timing and communication matter so much in dating and relationshipsc ALL links here ( links, submit a question, dating coaching & more) Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE Redefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Liv Schreiber is back on the podcast, and we’re getting real about dating, love, and connection after the wedding glow fades. From meeting people IRL and surviving dating burnout to choosing the right partner when life gets hard, Liv shares the lessons that actually matter. We talk green flags, why opposites work, and why being yourself beats playing it cool—plus bold takes on weddings, money, friendships, and the pressure to do things “the right way.” ALL links here ( links, submit a question, dating coaching & more) Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE Redefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode, I’m joined by Sunny, a Syracuse junior who’s doing it all — media, Greek life, friendships, and dating — and somehow staying deeply self-aware through it. We get real about college dating culture, situationships, exclusivity, and how proximity can blur the line between liking someone and just being attached. Sunny opens up about toxic dynamics, knowing when to walk away, and learning to choose herself before a relationship. ALL links here ( links, submit a question, dating coaching & more) Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE Redefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week on Cohosts for Life, Jake and I catch up on a very full week from our 20 week challenge updates to Barkley’s unexpected ER visit, my first real ski trip in years, and why I am now determined to get Jake on the mountain. We also talk content burnout, engagement slumps, and a listener dating follow-up. I'm matching donations this week for Planned Parenthood of Greater NY! https://fundraisers.nyrr.org/ids ALL links here ( links, submit a question, dating coaching & more) Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE Redefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Brandon, from the episode “How to Not Lose Hope That Your Person Is Still Out There,” is back today to share what’s shifted since we last spoke. We talk about dating in your late 30s after divorce, dating app burnout, asking someone out in real life, and the quiet pressure of timelines around marriage and kids. Brandon opens up about holding hope while preparing for different futures, redefining success, and learning how to build a meaningful life—even when it doesn’t look the way you imagined. ALL links here ( links, submit a question, dating coaching & more) Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE Redefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Chris Moore, psychology professor and author of The Power of Guilt, to unpack why guilt shows up so intensely in dating, friendships, and relationships, and why it’s not always a bad thing. We talk about the difference between guilt and shame, why women tend to feel guilt more deeply, how guilt can keep us stuck in dating situations longer than we should, and when it’s actually a signal for healthy relationship repair versus something to let go of. ALL links here ( links, submit a question, dating coaching & more) Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE Redefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jake and I talk through our 20-week challenges, from ambitious reading goals to posting trial reels and what consistency actually looks like in real life. I open up about my ongoing social media identity questions, the pressure to “pick a lane.” Plus, we answer listener questions, including mixed signals after a first date, getting ghosted, deciding if you’re ready for a dog while single, and navigating a potential relationship with someone mid-career pivot. ALL links here ( links, submit a question, dating coaching & more) Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE Redefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.