Lockdown Dads

In this, the last episode of Lockdown Dads, James and I reflect on 18 months of pandemic podcasting as England celebrates "Freedom Day." The truth is that the fear of catching Covid, home school disruption, and getting through the days are as prevalent as ever. We consider some of the hopelessly optimistic predictions we made in year - lockdown could be all over by June!? But also the certainty of the stay at home messaging v the weariness and low level anxiety of July 2021. We talk about some of the guests that stuck in our minds and the good, the bad and the absurd of the tips we shared. Who can forget James' pants discussion with Jessica Chivers (Ep20) or Ian going with "it's time to check your energy bills" with Will, drummer in Coldplay (Ep35). We put to bed the rumour that the best guests are ones with 50,000 Insta followers like Ian's brother Chris (!), and discuss the amazingly practical mindful dad - Ady Griffiths (Ep23) and less than amusing circumstances that comics Philip Simon (Ep6) and Tiernan Douieb (Ep3) faced throughout the pandemic. We talk about research and data, emotionally tricky episodes with Rhian Mannings MBE (Ep38) and Brian Ballantyne (Ep37) and having a laugh with Nathan McGurl (Ep31) and Jamie Beaglehole (Ep34) So for the moment that is the end of Lockdown Dads, at least in this guise! And our parting wish is, don't forget that "good enough is good enough."

Our final guest on Lockdown Dads is Will McDonald, Group Sustainability and Public Policy Director at Aviva plc aka "The Job Share Dad." As one half of the most senior male job share in the UK, Will is a bit of a hero in the dad space, shining a light on the rare world of job sharing (especially when it comes to men) We learn about Will's path at Aviva and how a conversation about wanting to explore a job share became a work "marriage" to Sam that has lasted 4 years already. We discover the principles of job share. And how to set up a job share With his dad hat on (5 years as chair of trustees at the Fatherhood Institute), Will talks about Aviva and their flagship work equalising parental leave, removing the financial and cultural stigma of dad taking extended leave and the some of the benefits of supporting dads. TIPS How to grow carrots effectively (!) Imagination - start with a blank sheet of paper and be imaginative. Notepad next to your bed. The Fatherhood Institute report Lockdown Dads: The Untold Story http://www.fatherhoodinstitute.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Lockdown-Fathers-Executive-Summary.pdf McKinsey - Paternity Leave benefits https://www.mckinsey.com/business-functions/organization/our-insights/a-fresh-look-at-paternity-leave-why-the-benefits-extend-beyond-the-personal

Olga Fitzroy, award winning sound engineer and parental pay equality campaigner joins us to discuss inequalities faced by the self employed. We discover her role in Pregnant Then Screwed's legal challenge against the government and discuss the legislative environment around self employment and shared parental leave. Plus school is out again, with education disruption only just starting to be discussed in government. Ian's garden gets short listed for a prize and we briefly ponder the upcoming England v Scotland Euro clash (!) Olga's path When her son was born in 2015, she was a self employed sound engineer and looked into the new policy of Shared Parental Leave, only to discover that the self employed aren't allowed to take it Q, Did you know that self employed men have no paid paternity leave rights? What started as mission to send a few emails - which would quickly lead to a realisation that the policy needed to fixed... became an ongoing campaign involving the Musician's Union, former and current MPs, Shadow Ministers and a presence in both the Labour and Lib Dem manifestos. Despite Theresa May commissioning a review of parental leave with the Department for Business, Energy & Industrial Strategy (BEIS), Brexit and Covid focus has stalled progress, though Olga explains there are a number of key allies on the government benches We discuss the benefits of Shared Parental Leave Mums being able to take less time off, dads get to take more time off, closing the gender pay gap, reducing the motherhood penalty and how a mother's income increases for every month that a father spent at home. McKinsey evidence that mothers’ incomes rose about 7 percent for each month that a father spent at home on paternity leave. SPL is good for children and for role modelling for young kids, for redressing the Covid impact and creating a gender equal recovery. ...and the challenges in achieving policy change A lack of genuine experience of self employment in government and civil service, plus a lack of bandwidth, so it's hard to get access. We talk about the plight of day care v a government focus on 'Winkie' Infrastructure Pregnant then Screwed. Olga sits on the campaign and policy board, leading on the sex discrimination case against the government as to how the Self-Employment Income Support Scheme (SEISS) is calculated - with periods of maternity leave not being exempted from the self-employed grant calculations. We learn that PTS have been given leave to appeal the original decision in favour of the government. Tips Period https://www.amazon.co.uk/Period-Natalie-Byrne/dp/1999894111 Delayed gratification Self employed can still get 30 hours free childcare if their income has dropped as a result of Covid Links http://www.parentalpayequality.org.uk/ https://pregnantthenscrewed.com/ https://www.workingdads.co.uk/role-modelling-working-dads/ https://pregnantthenscrewed.com/were-threatening-legal-action-against-the-chancellor-for-indirect-sex-discrimination/ https://www.gov.uk/30-hours-free-childcare

Simon Gregory, Managing Partner of GPS Return joins us to talk about parental return to work and we explore the differing challenges faced by men and women. We discuss how societal expectations influence the opportunities to return to work and later access flexible working and how Simon's business supports and coaches individuals and businesses to find the right person or right opportunity for now. James explains why T.W.A.T working is the next big trend while Simon talks about his 288 mile 24 hour cycle from Harrogate to Southampton raising money for Macmillan in memory of his auntie Ruth - the BBC's Reverend Ruth Scott. Simon's 'path' includes a heavy focus on relationship management in overseas markets, before his wife's experience of struggling to get back into work because she has "just been a mum for 4 years" lead to the creation of GPS Return. Simon explains how he works with businesses to understand what they think they need v what they actually need. Exploring assumptions and possibilities about hours, location and flexibility to get the best people for the roles. We discuss the different challenges that dads face returning to the workplace, including how men are treated less favourably than women and the societal issues that creates and how if dads are as likely to take time out for childcare businesses become more likely to employ female returners. TIPS DAD - Untold Stories from Music. Football. Fatherhood. Ordinary dads telling ordinary stories, but in an extraordinary collection. Don't forget about you, make time for yourself. Moral maze - "Does your husband play?" homophobic or sexist? and how to challenge? LEARN MORE https://www.gpsreturn.co.uk/ https://www.workingdads.co.uk/author/simon-gregory/ https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/ruthscott24

To mark the publication of the Fatherhood Institute's new report "Lockdown Dads - the Untold Story", we sat down with Dr Jeremy Davies, Head of Communications, to discuss fatherhood, the opportunities presented by the pandemic and what exactly is "the untold story" After we covered dodgy backs, out for beers and Moroccan pandemic experiences, we learnt about Jeremy's path. Journalist, becoming a father in 1999, a PhD and joining Father's Direct, the organisation that later became the Fatherhood Institute with the benefits of living the values of flexible working and active and involved fatherhood. What is the Untold Story? The media focus The Future? https://twitter.com/PoliticalYeti/status/1395382322355134470?s=20 Plus we talked about the challenges In our regular tips section... Lockdown Dads: The Untold Story http://www.fatherhoodinstitute.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Lockdown-Fathers-Executive-Summary.pdf http://www.fatherhoodinstitute.org/2021/contemporary-fathers-in-the-uk/

Coach, consultant and 'living system', we talk to Ethan about his journey from googling 'male trapped in female body' to father of two, including a lockdown baby. We discuss the power of flexible working as an enabler for Ethan to be the person and the dad he wanted to be and how a throw away comment about a new kitten - 'Look! Two mummies' was the catalyst for the addressing the fundamental identity crisis his life and ultimately lead to visiting the Alternative Parenting Show. We cover the role of allies, the things Ethan has learnt from reciprocal coaching with BAME coachees and how talking empowers others to share their story and creates ripples of understanding. In an unusual tangent, we stumble across the story that Ethan parents are head and deputy head at the school he went to and where also his daughter has been at nursery. Definitely a family affair! We chat about the importance of listening to lived experience, intersectionality and asking people what they need, especially with 2021 and the return to the work place. Plus make sure you listen properly to your children to avoid the sombre school lesson of 'soldiers and poppies' becoming a somewhat more upbeat tale of (heads,) 'shoulders and puppies' And we talk vaccinations, Friday night (hockey) action in Bromley and the joy of planning to do things. Tips include Little steps - the email signature Leave your phones outside the bedroom Journaling for kids https://boundcoaching.co.uk/ https://twitter.com/ethansalathiel https://www.linkedin.com/in/ethan-salathiel-he-him-his-b7043238/

Eternity Leave is a wry, semi autobiographical novel about being a stay at home dad, and the author, Simon Kettlewell, joined James and Ian to talk about his inspiration from over 20 years as primary carer to his four children. It's story that had extra chapters added in Lockdown as older children returned home and his 16 year old son struggled with remote learning. We learn about his path from NHS clinician and manager via working in mental health services in Eastern Europe to a rural idyll in Devon, where he combined novel writing, growing vegetables and raising chickens (with varying degrees of success) In his own words on LinkedIn: "Wrote 1 best seller and dried up. Looked after 4 children for 20 years so wrote a novel about that. People seem excited." We talk about the joys of going "somewhere else", exchanging Christmas presents in the carpark at Stonehenge and Ian finds joy in dabbling in Crypto. Plus we explore the one-dimensional portrayal of fatherhood in "mummy-lit", the importance of conversations about equality and childcare before children arrive and more lessons from "How to disagree respectively" by Ian Leslie, James is current favourite book! Tips include Lessons in masculinity from Falcon and the Winter Soldier Mediation in the sun Dads, put the time in now, reap the benefits later -------------------------------------------- https://simonkettlewell.co.uk/ https://twitter.com/SIMONKETTLEWELL

We look back at the guests, the stories and the tips that caught our eye since January. 00:30 Weathermen, Ian’s course development, Covid scare at school and Couch to 5k 03:00 James finally gets physio on his back 05:15 Working from home with kids around 06:30 The return to office life and the Goldman Sachs way of working 09:00 Are the government actually consulting on flexible working rights? 11:00 Linking working patterns to gender equality 12:00 Home-school since January 14:00 The novelty wearing off for Dads? 15:00 We discuss John Adams and Dr Jasmine Kelland LinkedIn Live - Parents in the Pandemic 17:25 Stand out moments with Nathan McGurl, Dan Stanley and Will Champion 19:00 Lessons from Coldplay, Wise Brian Ballantyne, Practical tips from Louise Goss and Rhian Mannings’ story 21:00 Planning the summer season 22:00 Joining the dots between sexual violence and equality in the home 28:30 Looking back at the season tips 31:30 This Week’s Tips Next Lockdown Dads will be 28th April 2021

In 2012 Rhian Mannings’ life suddenly and tragically changed when first her young son George died, followed 5 days later by her husband Paul. In this important and uplifting conversation, we explore how support was missing for bereaved parents like Rhian and Paul and how, what she imagined would be “hobby”, turned into a nationwide charity called 2 Wish Upon A Star providing immediate and ongoing bereavement support for families, individuals and professionals affected by the sudden and traumatic death of a child or young adult aged 25 or under. We learn about the importance of the elephant in the bereavement box (and in the room) and discuss “masculinities” and how they have an impact on how and when men seek out the help they need. Plus we scatter some celebrity stardust from the likes of Sam Warburton, Will Champion, Nick Knowles and Michael Sheen. Contents 01:00 Spring, getting out the house in Wales, rugby and the importance of sport 03:10 Why The Great Escape is analogy for how James feels 05:40 Rhian’s path to founding 2 Wish Upon a Star. Losing George and Paul. 07:00 Starting the charity - I just needed something to keep me going. 08:30 Lacking support, Paul blamed himself. 09:40 Going into A&E departments and asking for the person in charge 11:00 Finding the strength to tell her story 12:30 Ian talks about his friendship with Paul and the first time he met Rhian 14:15 Reflecting on bereavement and how different families have coped with lockdown 15:00 Keeping 2 Wish Upon A Star going during lockdown 16:40 The elephant in the room - memory boxes and remembering 19:00 Paul felt like he’d failed everyone 21:00 Multiple masculinities and the pressure men can feel 23:00 Supporting dads - the importance of sport in the charity’s work. 24:30 The Welsh rugby team - role models for mental health 26:00 Celebrity Ambassadors - Will Champion and Nick Knowles 27:00 Super actor Michael Sheen unveiled as new ambassador! Tips ———————————- Connect Or Contact With Rhian And Her Charity https://twitter.com/2wishupon https://www.2wishuponastar.org/ Learn about the OECD report - “Man Enough”

Brian Ballantyne, Co-Founder of Men for Inclusion, author of “Confessions of a Working Dad” and one time Babycenter moderator joins James and Ian in Episode 37 of Lockdown Dads. It’s an open and honest discussion in which we discuss what it means to be good ally, how Brian’s own family were a prompt to volunteer in diversity and inclusion voluntary work and why men must be involved if we aren’t just creating inclusion echo chambers. Plus “Centrist Dads”, Burnout and recharging batteries and how to argue well. Contents 01:00 A tough week for Brian - lessons in boundaries, batteries and burnout 04:30 Balancing family and personal priorities 06:00 Ian has been shooting video content + 07:00 Social media and men’s attitudes to women’s personal safety 08:00 Ian forgets about James 09:30 James reflects on a bad week for gender equality 11:30 Being a Babycenter moderator 12:45 Dad culture - the time when Brian’s CEO stalked him on Foursquare 14:30 Family influence on diversity and inclusion work. 15:10 Women in Technology echo chambers 17:00 How Male Allies for Gender Equality became Men for Inclusion 19:45 We discuss what allyship means Tips 23:10 James has been reading Conflicted: Why Arguments Are Tearing Us Apart and How They Can Bring Us Together Q. What is a Centrist Dad” Ian recommends previous guest, Rachel Vecht’s quick video on how to extract information from your school age children! Brian talks about cherishing the small moments ————————————- Connect With Brian https://www.linkedin.com/company/menforinclusion/ https://www.e2w.co/men-for-inclusion https://www.linkedin.com/in/brian-ballantyne-336754/

Nicki Seignot, Author of 'Mentoring New Parents at Work' and founder of The Parent Mentor talks to James and Ian in episode 36 of Lockdown Dads. We discuss why supporting new dads matters, the role single dad Phil played to broadening Nicki’s horizons, beyond just supporting the maternity journey and what the post pandemic work landscape could look like. Plus the usual podcast musings about schools going back, sunshine (!) and looking forward to better future. Contents 00:50 The power of daylight in the mornings 02:15 Schools going back 02:45 Competitive world book day 04:00 Ian is looking forward to not apologising… 05:30 Christmas presents (!) and Covid 07:10 Nicki’s path- The Parent MentorMentoring New Parents at Work 13:45 A pivotal moment using a mountain top image as part of icebreaker cards 14:30 The danger of grouping parents as a single homogeneous group 15:30 The Dad Connect programme 16:15 Mentoring v Coaching 18:50 We talk about reverse mentoring 21:45 “Good enough is good enough” 23:30 Work Life Balance 24:00 Hybrid working and the role of line managers 25:50 Incoming culture clash - “working from home is an aberration” ? 26:30 Will there be a generational split about office working? 28:30 The mechanics of hybrid working models Tips James’ choose to challenge on parenting norms Nicki talks about checking in on a new dad back from paternity leave Ian has been reading Why we sleep? by Matthew Walker ——————————————————————————- Connect With Nicki www.theparentmentor.co.uk https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicki-seignot-647b981/

The musician who doesn’t read music, the drummer who didn’t play the drums and a calming, pragmatic influence in Coldplay. In this episode of Lockdown Dads, we discover how a focus on their relationships has been as important as the music, what work life balance means in a band when you have kids and what Will is looking forward to most when lockdown finishes. Self described (with tongue in cheek) “soft rock dinosaur,” we find out how Will feels about the A Head Full of Dreams documentary - the good, the cringe-worthy and the comforting. We explore how the pandemic has been for the band, for his family and sadness he feels for artists on the cusp of success - with momentum pulled from under them. Will talks openly about family, fatherhood and masculinity - the similarities between his role as a dad at home and his role in his second family where fortunately no one is a frustrated frontman! Luck, personalities, hard work and a focus on relationships and above all else being grateful. Contents 01:00 Definitely an air of optimism, a bit of light at the end of the tunnel for my kids. 01:50 Not touring with the last album turned out to be almost clairvoyant... 02:45 We're lucky because we can afford to wait and we can we can choose the right time to do it for us 04:00 Ian looking forward to the end of home school and binge watch Marvel films for the first time. 06:20 James - great weather, but an irritating Joe Wicks injury! 08:00 Will’s working dad status - father of three and freelancer 08:56 Olga Fitzroy is like Bruce Wayne. (Read more about her Parental Pay Equality campaign) 09:50 Children, touring and balancing family life with work. 12:40 Being in a band is like being in a family. 15:15 Too busy for boxsets, books and learning new languages 17:00 We talk about the A Head Full of Dreams documentary 20:00 The secret to Coldplay longevity - dynamics, personalities, friendships and a bit of luck. 23:30 Will’s lack of previous drumming experience - could Ian have been in Coldplay? 25:30 It’s been tough for Will’s kids, especially his eldest. 27:30 Making memories and making the best of Lockdown - The Quarantine Bar at 5pm on a Friday. 30:45 Studio time, being productive and Brian Eno’s advice 32:30 Weekly zoom calls and very intense, but very productive 2 week slots of time. 33:15 Multiple masculinities - Will’s role as a dad v his role in the band 36:30 Ambition, competition and balance 38:45 What are we going to do first, when we’re allowed - Will visiting his dad. 40:40 This Week’s Bumper Selection Of Tips More Reading And Links Annie Lennox (subscribe to read) https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/only-if-the-women-s-movement-opens-a-dialogue-with-men-can-we-end-misogyny-c8zxp0pcj James’ review of previous guest Martin Robinson’s New Book https://www.workingdads.co.uk/martin-robinson-masculinity-book-you-are-not-the-man-you-are-supposed-to-be/

A trailblazer for same sex adoption, Jamie is the Daddy of Daddy and Dad. What started as an exploration of the highs and lows of Jamie and Tom’s story of adopting two young brothers from foster care, became an award winning blog key agency resource and an opportunity to work with major brands. A timely redundancy lead to a focus on blogging, before dipping their toes into Instagram (not just for vintage cat photos…) and moving into the realms of influencing. We explore the journey into fatherhood, how navigating trauma from previous lives is part and parcel of the adoption process. Plus relationship dynamics in a same sex couple (hint… the breadwinner / carer tension is the same) and the challenges of being dads in a mum’s world. Contents 01:00 Half term, home-school and house moving. 03:10 James does care what the weatherman says. 04:00 Pets and waiting on Boris. 05:40 Booking holidays and being on TV. 07:00 James reflects on Ian’s sister in law’s Valentine dance. 08:30 The Path - “of course we're two dads, so options for starting a family are slightly different to other couples.” 09:40 Adoption is a huge, convoluted, overwhelming process and at the end of it, you become a family overnight 10:20 I thought maybe I'd write a book or maybe we'd do some kind of video blog or but blogging was my expertise. 11:30 “I was really trying to lay out exactly how I was feeling and how lost we felt sometimes, which people really identified with.” 12:30 Adoption agencies picked it up as a resource for potential adopters to read and it grew really quickly. 13:45 The mad world of parenthood - there's certain themes that I think everybody can recognise. 15:00 Blogging inspiration from soft play and trampoline parks. 17:30 Instagram - not just pictures of cats 20:40 Relationship dynamics - breadwinner and carer 24:30 Support for adoptive parents 26:10 Dads in a mum’s world 27:20 Covid and a pub manager getting it all wrong. 28:00 Changing facilities for dads with babies 30:00 Gay men in a straight world - Valentine's Day and Mother’s Day Tips 31:10 Martin Robinson’s book - “You Are Not The Man You're Supposed To BeThe Morning Show——————————————————— Connect with Jamie https://www.daddyanddad.co.uk/ https://www.instagram.com/daddyanddad/

Dan Stanley - Becoming Better Men In a powerful discussion about masculinity, purpose, and self awareness, ex Army Commando Instructor Dan describes how, far from being a magical time, becoming a new dad led to a 8 month separation in his marriage. We discover how a chance meeting with an ex premiership footballer, helped him drop his people pleaser mask and literally stop running from his problems. We discuss the impact of a dad who wasn’t present in his life, running so much your dog gets injured, and seeking to normalise the conversation about modern masculinity. Dan talks about his business principles of creating space for men to develop great relationships with themselves. Plus… is it sledding or sledging and other pressing questions in 2021. Contents 01:00 Dan is purposeful, available and congruent 03:00 Ian and the “done” list 04:20 Sledding or Sledging? Snow days as a niche argument in favour of flexible working. 07:25 Birth of Dan’s daughter was the catalyst for “not only the breakdown of my marriage, but also for what was an identity crisis or midlife crisis for me.” 08:10 Dan was running (and avoiding) so much that his spaniel (running partner) actually developed an injury that needed an operation. 09:00 “We separated for about eight months and it was a lonely time.” 11:10 It's all about normalising the conversation for me. Unless you've got a great relationship yourself, you can't have a great relationship with anybody else. 12:30 My dad wasn't present in my life and at the time I never really gave it any significant thought, but… 13:30 Training all arms commandos from the army. Screaming in people's faces, that in my mind, is counterproductive. 15:30 He was an ex premiership footballer, he'd had a couple of the operations, which hadn't worked… He said the only difference between a grave and a rut is the depth. 17:30 Taking massive and immediate action 18:30 Reflecting on ego and masculinity 19:45 It's about creating that space for men to have the conversations they've never had before, to be heard and listened to in a nonjudgmental space. 21:30 I found myself in the Peak District for five days, on a vegan diet. No caffeine, morning meditation and yoga and spirituality and the men's circles. Craig White was a real, a real catalyst for who I became. 24:00: I stepped away from friendship groups that I felt no longer served who I wanted to become. I realised that my values were kind of just social traits that I'd adopted from other people. 26:30 My story is perhaps extreme in a sense, but lots of guys can relate to avoiding, to placing their head in the sand Tips (27:00) Bird watching for the soul A selection of stoic maxims. Listen to Tim Ferris podcast with Jerry Seinfeld ——————————————————— More from Dan https://www.linkedin.com/in/dan-stanley-bettermen-coaching/ https://better-men.uk/

There’s just not enough time! Nigel Clarke, CBeebies presenter, explains how Dadvengers started from an all Dads episode of The Baby Club, the groundbreaking show for mums, dads and carers with babies under 18 months old. The Baby Club reflects the important CBeebies mantra that “Everyone’s Welcome”. We talk about a generational shift in what is expected from and expected by dads and the importance of dads having the skills and confidence to be alone with their kids. Ian and Nigel try and explain to James what the Clubhouse excitement is all about and we discover how you manage a 4 hour filming session with babies, sing songs (!) and probe Nigel about parenting in the public eye and what goes on at a CBeebies Xmas party. Contents 01:15 Using Lockdown in the most positive way we can be - “I've found a place where I'm happy.” 02:00 Nigel’s motto - “There just isn't enough time”. 03:00 Special To Do lists 04:00 Children on Teams and Clubhouse 06:45 Trying not to get stressed - people are accommodating 08:00 CBeebies closed for a couple of weeks and we, as the presenters, were recording stuff in our homes. So I did a series of links from my lounge. 09:45 Dadchats was a place for me to just research what parents might want to see or hear about in the Dadvengers podcast. 11:20 We did an episode of The Baby Club just with Dads 14:55 15:45: Wanting to be more involved - The Baby Club as a platform to really help dads. 18:40 The essence of it was wanting dads from all different backgrounds who were engaged with their kids, who weren't scared to change a nappy. 20:10 The importance of making dads feel welcome. 21:00 Patience and being public figure. 21:30 I don't know if I can really call my work work. 23:30 Chaos and contagious crying - how to film an episode of The Baby Club. 24:45 I know a song that’ll stick in your head…. 26:20 What happens on a CBeebies night out, stays on a CBeebies night out. 28:00 Tips 30:44 There's not long left. We're at 13, we're two thirds of the way through, and then it's over, they're gone and they're not kids anymore. Learn more here https://dadvengers.com/ https://www.facebook.com/Dadvengersofficial https://www.instagram.com/dadvengersofficial/ https://twitter.com/Dadvengers_ https://nigelclarkepresenter.co.uk/ https://www.thelionsbarbercollective.com/ ---------------------- To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here: https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads

As a newly married 23 year old, apprehensively mulling over his thoughts about impending fatherhood while driving the A39 to and from Bristol, Nathan McGurl, founder of The Study Buddy did what we now take for granted - he started blogging. The My First Kid website has sadly gone the way of our My Space profiles, but the story Nathan tells of dads sidelined from parenting will still resonate to many, even if supermarket parenting clubs no longer limit you to identifying as “Ms, Mrs or Miss” We blend discussion about bad broadband, good haircuts and expensive contact lenses with a look at lazy and damaging gender stereotyping promoted by the UK government. Nathan explains how having exhausting all the classic parenting manipulation techniques with his son, he created a system of GCSE revision planning that didn’t rely on learning by osmosis and became The Study Buddy. Content 01:10 Nathan is a gin and tonic away from being “magenta.” 02:45 James loses the world’s most expensive contact lens. 04:10 Ian on bad broadband, good haircuts and lockdown birthdays 05:50 New marriage, new dad and new millennium - there was a lot going on. 06:50 On the road to Street and myfirstkid.co.uk was born, capturing all of these things flying through my head… 08:20 I started to become more aware of “parenthood” because I don't think “fatherhood” was much of a thing then. 10:00 Parenthood was all about the mums. The Safeway club just assumed it's Mrs. Nathan McGurl. I mean, you could be Ms. or Miss or Mrs, but you couldn't be Mr. 12:20 We talk government and gender stereotyping 15:40 Emails from Mums even more than Dads 18:30 The path to creating The Study Buddy 19:30 Using every trick in the book for motivation - “how about I give you a fiver?” 21:00 Then it came to Easter just before his exams, 22:00 It wasn't emotional anymore because it wasn't me telling him what I thought he should do. 22:47 This is how Study Buddy works 26:30 You don't need to spend money, but for those parents who actually just don't have the time or the inclination… 27:40 It was built for the procrastinating boy, but this kind of approach helps with, those who are really anxious. 30:00 The power of the student feeling in control 33:10 Tips CKC = “Communication is key with COVID” The power of an Excel spreadsheet - people will assume that you're busy and they will walk away. Zig Ziglar quote “The elevator to success is out of order, but the stairs are always open.” --------- Learn more here https://thestudybuddy.com/ https://www.facebook.com/TheStudyBuddyStudios/ https://twitter.com/thestudybuddyUK https://www.instagram.com/TheStudyBuddyStudios/ About Lockdown Dads James Millar and Ian Dinwiddy are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self-isolation and social distancing on working dads. https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads

Time to ponder… what colour are you today and why? Paul Bulos, Executive, Leadership & Wellbeing Coach and publishing professional joins us for this and other profound questions on the Lockdown Dads podcast. We dig into the benefits of lockdowns - including connecting with your kids and we touch on the importance of empathy and understanding the transition between work and home life. Plus we discuss dad ‘presence’ - how important is secondary school transition, what does the “right train” mean to you and taking time to involve yourself in the things that are important to your children. Tips include - it’s time for clippers, the Language of gaming and Rachel Vecht’s Circle of Control . Contents 00:20 Lockdown birthdays are rubbish. 02:30 If you could describe how you are doing as a colour, what would that colour be and why? 02:45 Paul’s Funday Friday - energy and weather = yellow 03:15 Ian, green for Pakistan - ODI cricket tickets for the summer 04:20 James = black… I like black 07:40 Learning self awareness and family dynamics 09:15 Paul’s relationship with his daughter 12:25 Helping children to feel safe 14:05 A higher proportion proportion of dads think that the switch to secondary school is a time when they need to be around for their kids. 15:00 How comfortable are you saying, “you know what, I can't make that meeting at 5:30” because if I don't do that, I can't get the train, which means I won't be home for my kids. 15:50 You come home one day and, and they don't come to the door. And I said, no, I can't imagine that. 17:00 The impact of missing your train - my wife knew exactly what time I'd be walking through the door at the end of the working day. 19:30 The transition between work - coming home and re-entry into domestic, household and parenting life. 21:50 James talks about his workingdads.co.uk building back better agenda. 23:00 Lunchtimes together. 24:00 The power of coaching - examining values and my responsibilities as a parent 25:30 Children as they've become far more cognitive in the world and they've got their own things, you really have to listen to them. 27:00 My Daughter has helped me as a coach. 28:30 Tips (former guest on the show)More from Paul Bulos https://www.linkedin.com/in/paulbulos/ http://www.thecompletecoach.co.uk/safe/ https://www.workingdads.co.uk/sink-swim-vital-dads-look-after-themselves/ -------------------------- About Lockdown Dads James Millar and Ian Dinwiddy are recording a weekly podcast exploring the impact of lockdown, self-isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace. We hope you enjoy watching and listening! To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here: https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads

Living 50m from Central Park in Upper West side Manhattan sounds incredibly glamorous but not if you've swapped a house for a pandemic apartment in lockdown. This week's guest Steve Myall, former deputy features Editor of the Daily Mirror and co-host of the highly successful First Time Dads podcast joins James and I as the circle of podcasting is complete. We talk shared parental leave, finding space in a big city and why diplomatic status is this year's must have accessory for the Real Brit Dads of New York. Steve talks about what it is like on the ground in New York - elections, parenting and being that elusive species - the hands on stay at home dad. Contents 01:30 switching a house for an apartment, not realising that we would be in it 24 hours a day. 02:30 Home school and Boris the Cat 05:00 God alone knows what we're going to do at the weekend. 06:00 We had a friend who took some shared parental leave, he was in his shorts, had grown a beard. He was relaxed. He was chilled. And the relationship with his second child looked fantastic. 07:30 Condensed hours and changing how you look at work. 08:00 Moving to New York. 09:30 The First Time Dads Podcast - because we felt that dad's weren't really talking about the emotional stuff. 13:30 There was talk of a virus in China and then suddenly New York's in this epicenter. 14:30 If you're on the seventh floor of an apartment you can't take them to playgrounds or shop. 16:45 We are fortunate, because my wife works for the UN, we've got a diplomatic status here so that we were able to come back to the UK. 17:45 New York parks v Crystal Palace Park aka "have you got a big dinosaur with its face fallen off?" 19:35 Federal law allows you to have 12 weeks of unpaid parental leave as a dad. 22:00 Not only would it be unusual for me to see a dad taking their kids to this stuff, it would be unusual for me to see a parent because they're all nannies. 23:00 It's changed a lot since lockdown - you see a lot more dads doing drop-off and pick up because obviously they're working from home. 26:10 And then the adults all have a shrink, right? 28:00 We drove back into New York as the election result came over the radio and people were out in the street, opening bottles of champagne, cheering on the street corners. 29:00 If you go in Central Park, without wearing a mask outside, you will be shouted at. 30:00 Tips: Watch Soul, eat chocolate oranges and get in touch with mindfulness and the craft box. ------------------------------- Twitter: @Stevemyalleats Instagram: @StevemyalleatsHQ About Lockdown Dads James Millar and Ian Dinwiddy are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self-isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace. We hope you enjoy watching and listening! To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here: https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads

One time self employed journalist based in Australia, we discover how interviewing and profiling home working entrepreneurs for a tech start up was the start of the idea that became The Homeworker magazine. Louise Goss joins us for episode 28, drawing upon her husband's experiences we reflect on how attitudes towards home working have changed from both an individual and business perspective. Why her magazine is much more useful than googling the top 5 productivity tips and how the Homeworker blends key themes around business, productivity, mindset, wellbeing and your work environment. Contents 02:30 James has the hump with fascists 03:30 Groundhog day - it's hard to hit the ground running in 2021 04:20 Ian misses flow 05:30 Less parental guilt this time 07:20 From Freelance journalist to celebrating the 2nd anniversary of the magazine 09:00 Louise back in UK with 2 children under 3 09:50 Blending business, productivity, mindset, wellbeing and your work environment. 10:15 I wish I could say I had this Eureka moment and this amazing foresight that we're all going to be doing it 12:10 Work and life are very integrated nowadays. And there's no real getting around that. 12:50 it's very easy to do a quick Google, you know, top five productivity tips working from home. 15:25 Branching out into a corporate subscription 16:30 There's working from home and then there's working from home during a global pandemic 17:30 Parenting and homeworking 22:00 Husband changing how he felt about home working 25:19 We actually turfed my daughter out of her room and made an office joining lockdown 26:30 Ergonomics advice - the best posture is the next posture Tips 27:20 Involving the children in the planning of home-school Leave the fairy lights up If you create an inviting and welcoming workspace you're going to do better work there https://www.thehomeworker.com/ https://twitter.com/homeworkermag https://www.instagram.com/thehomeworkermag/ About Lockdown Dads James Millar and Ian Dinwiddy are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self-isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace. We hope you enjoy watching and listening! To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here: https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads

A look back at 26 episodes of Lockdown Dads - the good, the bad and the ugly as we ponder the "annus horribilis" that was 2020. We talk guests and the tips that inspired us and the tips that shocked us, it's all here as we discuss what 2021 has instore for dads and their families and how as a show we can continue to bring you interesting and informative content onward into season 3 of a project we wanted to kill off. Too much lockdown...! (Recorded pre-Tier 4 / Christmas cancellation) Contents 1:30 This week - Webinars, Xmas cards and good people doing good things. 03:30 The importance of the Bob Mortimer and Paul Whitehouse fishing programme. 05:30 The good - walks and family time, Saturday night movies. 07:30 All fathers should watch It's A Wonderful Life. 08:30 Scepticism about the Rona-coaster - until James hit it. The emotional impact of freedom being snatched away. Looking ahead to his daughter being nearly 14 next year. 11:50 Adapting and Accepting. Being kind to yourself. Michael Ray and Nadia Nagamootoo talking about the small things. 13:30 Christmas - make the most of it, but not Kay Burley style. 14:00 Noel McDermott from Season 1 had the most striking tip - no drinking. 15:45 Yash Puri and the night time nappy changing, James and choosing the "right" pants. 17:30 Making time for yourself - Dan Reed, Ady Griffiths and Mari Williams. 18:00 Awe walks from Jessica Chivers. 19:30 Philip Simon re-record the punchline. Dr Jasmine Kelland and Dr Laura Radcliffe with strong calls to action. 22:20 Freddie Bennett - The man who ran a marathon in welly boots and broke the Guinness World Record. 24:30 Dads exposed to genuine parenting challenge. 27:00 Future trends for 2021, it will be key for people like us - making the case for flexible working when the temptation will be for a return pre pandemic "norms." 31:00 Tip watch the Bob Mortimer and Paul Whitehouse show. Cherry Vodka and Tonic make it your Christmas drink of choice.