Courageously Mom-Encouragement for Parents of Children with Special Needs, Autism Moms, ADHD

You're not happy. You feel angry and bitter. You hate feeling this way and you may not even know what is bothering you...or maybe you do. Maybe you're struggling to forgive someone and carrying that hurt. Maybe you're struggling to forgive yourself? Forgiveness can be so hard especially when the pain is so deep. BUT Forgiveness is often the answer and first step to being able to move forward, grow and become all that you're supposed to be...and that includes Happy. It's hard to move forward when you keep looking back so it's up to us to make the decision to let go of it all so we can be better for ourselves and for those we love.

A new year is a time of hope and struggle for every person. In this podcast, Tanya will discuss three goals that can help special needs moms to get through the challenging moments. this year and throughout your life. The New Year is a good time to take a look at your life and see what you want to change. Here are 3 important goals for special needs mom:

Getting a diagnosis can be a shock for a parent. The fear of the unknown, the fear of what's going to happen to their little one can make them feel overwhelmed. This is when faith and hope come in to keep us going through this tough time. Sometimes it feels like there are no words for what you're feeling, but there are ways to find comfort in knowing that others have been in this position which offers help in understanding. In today’s episode Tayna discusses her top three fears and how faith has helped her on days that seemed long and hard. Many parents experience that feeling of the fear being greater than faith and hope. Tanya encourages you to pray, to show up as you are. To ask for continued strength, but also wants to encourage you to see what is already inside of you.

Parents of autistic children want to give their kids the best life possible and this often means letting them go and getting as much independence as they can. They understand that their kid has a different way of thinking and often work with them to help foster their independence. In today’s episode, Tanya discusses the challenges that arise when your child starts advocating for more independence. Do you let them make mistakes or do you take control and handle it to avoid heartache? It is also important for parents to find the balance between giving too much help and not enough help.

As a parent of a child with special needs, the holidays can be tough. This is because you often need to plan ahead to accommodate your child’s needs and this can come as quite the surprise to your family. Listen to this podcast for some tips on how to survive the holiday season as a special needs parent. Tanya discusses what she has done to help sooth her child from sensory overload and about being a picky eater. Listen to Tanya’s tips on how to enjoy the holiday season. Have that extra glass of wine or piece of pie! She provides suggestions on what you can do to make life easier for yourself ahead of time. You'll find that everything will go smoother when it comes time for your holiday celebrations.

Show notes: Hi everyone. It's Tanya I'm back after a long hiatus of recording any episodes and my apologies. Life was, or has been completely overwhelming and hectic. And I know if anyone understands that it is the moms that are listening to this podcast. So I thank you for your understanding. I'm happy to get back to this and share what's been going on because life the last six months has definitely given many, many topics to talk about here. So what am I going to be talking about in this episode? The first episode back? Well, I've got to be talking about careers, motherhood, and autism, and all the good stuff that goes with it. Like, do you stay at work? Do you go back? All those things that I have personal experience to talk about. And so let's get to it. Hey, Courageous Mom. I want you to know that you are so brave raising those children and giving everything you have for everything that they need. I've been there and understand what it's like to feel like you're lost. To feel tired and so completely overwhelmed. Hi, I'm Tanya and an autism mom. This journey is not an easy one. It's been demanding and confusing, but it's also been massively life-changing in a great way and has brought me more joy and more laughs than I could ever imagine. You shouldn't walk alone. And that's why I felt called to create this community. Here, you'll laugh. Find joy. Hear inspiring stories along with support and some tough love to begin your journey back to you again. You have permission to take care of yourself, to go after your dreams and to be happy and fulfilled every day, even on those tough ones. So let's do this journey together, gracefully, boldly, and courageously. Transcription: All right. So let's get started. I have lots to tell you. So what I have been up to in the last almost six months is that I officially went back to work. And, you know, I have always been working to some capacity, but I'm talking about going back to finance, which is what I did prior to going on maternity leave with my son, who was my first child. After returning from maternity leave to that old position and company trying to juggle motherhood and just he from day one just required so much that it felt impossible to do a great job at work and to be the employee that my previous employer was used to. Just that woman that would stay till work was done, I would put in extra hours and often would go above and beyond. But obviously that changed when I became a mom. I am still doing the work that needed to get done, but those days of going above and beyond, I will admit they were gone because I had someone else that took priority. I, I was a mom now where before my career, that was really all I had to focus on. I mean, obviously I was a wife as well, but my husband, you know, he can take care of himself. Well, I can, most days I'm kidding. No kind of I'm joking kind of, but anyways, so becoming a mom, it was just a really big shift and it came to a point with my son where, when we tried to do the daycare, I would say he was about 16 months, that's when I really started to realize that something, you know, was just not right. It was like a month after dropping him off and I thought it would get easier, but it never did. So daycare was just not an option. He would just scream from beginning to the end of the day. The daycare providers at the center, they were great, but my heart would break every single time. And they would say, oh, just give it more time. But I knew that there was something else going on. So my husband and I basically were like, you know, passed the baton, just he would work the late night shift and I would work in early morning and leave around 2:30 , 3:00 come home. Literally, he would just pass my son to me and he'd go off. And that is how we operated for the first two years of my son's life. Well, almost two years, because I know that I made the tough decision to leave my job and my career at about, I want to...

Things never go as planned and no one knows this more than a mom to a child with special needs. However, with prep and introducing some useful tools you may be able to make it a little less stressful for you and your child. And on the days when that still doesn't work...well then you lean on God, ice cream and your fellow Courageous Moms!

We have all been there as Parents of children with special needs....We're out, we want to be present, we want to enjoy the moment but it's sooooo hard for many reasons but especially when your fears of what others are thinking about your child start taking over your brain. It's never easy but especially after a year of quarantine. I forgot how to do this and need to train myself all over again to get my thought under control and to try to just enjoy the moment. Let them judge. Perfect is boring anyway...

April 1st marks the beginning of Autism Awareness month. However, as a Mom to an autistic child, we are very much aware of Autism in this house. It’s not just a month here…it’s an everyday thing. But prior to his diagnosis, I was just aware of Autism. And, I’ll admit I was also scared of it, too. Because when you’re just aware, you just know the medical model and the disorder that Doctors and Researchers will talk about but you don’t really know much about it. Autism Awareness is easy and focuses on the differences and stereotypes. Autism Acceptance requires understanding and acknowledging that we are all different and awesome in our own way. Acceptance is celebrating all abilities and supporting each person so everyone gets to live their best life and have opportunities to do all the things they want to do. Acceptance is completely free of judgement but is full of kindness and respect.

This conversation is long overdue. For some reason, we don't talk about our mental health or if we're struggling with depression in fear that we would be judged. However, it would be totally acceptable for me to tell you about my sinus infection and how I'm taking medication for that. Because we don't talk it about it more, people suffer silently and sometimes until it's too late. I'm only one person and if my sharing of my struggles with depression can help only one person, then I am so glad that I shared my story. I understand how depression can have a grip on you that you can't explain. I know what it's like to feel that as a young single woman and I also have experience in dealing with depression as a Mother. I share my story to give someone hope because there really is SO MUCH HOPE. I understand rock bottom and remembering that place and knowing where I am now is my why on my decision for this episode.

Are you hard on yourself? Do you set unrealistic expectations for yourself, your day, your child, and the list goes on and on. I have tortured myself for years and have been unneccessarily hard on myself as a woman but even more since becoming a MOM! In this episode, I talk about learning how to give yourself grace and realize that you're pretty friggin' awesome!

If you have ever wondered whether or not you are enough OR are doing enough to give your child with special needs the best chance of living to their full potential, you are not alone. You ARE enough and an AWESOME Mom for even thinking that because only the best moms wonder that from time to time. But now that you know you're an awesome mom, you can cut it out! In this episode I share how I made the decision to make changes to my son's demanding schedule even though I feared making a big mistake and having to get back on an ABA waitlist. Our children are running their own race and so are we as their Moms. We need to remember that not EVERY plan works for EVERY one.

There are many challenges as a Mom of a child with special needs but I feel one of the hardest ones is dealing with Ignorance when it's regarding your beautiful child. It can be really hard at times to not act on that anger as a response to cruel remarks and hurtful actions but we can face Ignorance in a way that we set an example for our children that are watching and to avoid prison time. ;)

IEP's are a way of life when you have a child with special needs. I've never talked to one parent that enjoys attending an IEP meeting for many reasons. I can't promise they will ever be loads of fun but I can offer tips on how to prepare for one, especially if you're new to them.

Happy 2021 my friends! What are you focusing on for the year ahead? I want us all to approach the new year with a renewed spirit even though we are tattered, exhausted and emotionally spent from the last year and still have some tough days ahead BUT YOU are tougher. I want you to pick a word, just one word, that will be a reminder to you on how you will approach 2021 and rise up from it all as a victor and not a victim. We're talking about how to choose this word today.

When things are not going as planned and obstacles are being thrown your way, one right after another, it may seem impossible to find the humor in any of it. Life may have made you forget how to laugh and you're serious all of the time but life was meant to be enjoyed even during our struggles. Laughter is truly the best medicine so permission granted to start seeking out the funny daily.

My middle name is Marie but I often feel like it should be "Overwhelmed" because it really captures my essence these days. The holidays are upon us and we're wrapping up the year that most would like to forget as we head into a new year that will most likely start with much of the same. There is a light at the end of the tunnel so we can't lose our minds now! In this episode, I'm talking about what I find helps me in feeling like I have some control of all the crazy and things that I have realized really help to reduce the stress for me and in our home!

When you are going through something tough and you're feeling discouraged, hopeless and feel as if things will never improve, you want to hear from someone who gets it and has gone through the same thing or something similar to give you hope. When you're doubting yourself and feeling as if you cannot take much more, you need to be encouraged and I hope to be the person that can do that for you today. You are stronger than you could ever imagine or give yourself credit for. Everyone around you sees it and it's time you saw it for yourself, as well.

As an Autism Mom, I definitely have had my fair share of judgement and feeling uncomfortable out in public or gatherings with friends and families. I’ll be honest, sometimes I have avoided social situations because I wanted to avoid that discomfort. And that may be the only good thing that has come out of 2020 because I have been given the excuse for avoiding all public outings. I have trained for this! But seriously, Real Talk today about Fear of Judgement & Discomfort in Public when out with your child with special needs.

In my promise to keep it real on here, today I want to share about my favorite kind of party lately and it’s been the pity party. I have been partying alone over here for the past week and in speaking with a new friend that reached out after listening to this podcast, we talked about how as Autism moms, we really just need to hear that other moms feel it and get it and go through all of these emotions. We don’t want to hear about perfection. We want to hear about the good, the bad and the ugly because that’s exactly where we’re at. So I'm here to let you know that this is where I'm at lately, I accept it and I'm not going to feel bad about it. I'm giving you permission to feel down and not apologize for it.