Bad Movies & Beer

Cooper and Nolan are taking a trip to the Hamptons this week when they spend a WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S! This raucous 80s comedy was a video store staple when the guys were younger, but that doesn't mean it'll hold up today. Still, with phallic buildings, antiquated technology, and rigor mortis all entering the chat, there's definitely going to be stuff to laugh at. So whether you're more of a Richard or a Larry, there's one thing we can practically guarantee: this episode (featuring a beer from Rogue Ales) is more fun than a day at the beach!

Cooper and Nolan are living up to their two star reviews this week when they unleash a big gooey helping of THE STUFF! The fact that the planetary threat in this movie is a white, viscous ooze definitely causes the guys to give in to their worst impulses. But despite getting swept away in a seemingly endless stream of juvenile humor, they still manage to weigh in on Cold War era paranoia, the addictive nature of social media, and the type of acting roles that were available to women in the 80s. If you like satire (or marshmallows), then open wide; this episode (featuring a beer collaboration from the Mortalis and 450 North Brewing Companies) is one you'll definitely want to taste.

Cooper and Nolan are revving up for intense 90s action this week when they cover STONE COLD! What happens when former NFL linebacker Brian "The Boz" Bosworth goes undercover to bring down a notorious biker gang known as The Brotherhood? The answer involves fist fights, motorcycle chases, and a LOT of explosions. Like a ridiculous amount, and the guys are running through all of it. They'll also decide once and for all where The Boz ranks on the all-time list of football players turned actors, so come along for the ride; this episode (featuring a beer from El Segundo Brewing) definitely won't leave you cold.

It's franchise crossover Friday this week, when Cooper and Nolan get caught in the middle of Alien vs. Predator! Between the poorly developed characters, paint by numbers plot, and early 2000s CGI, it's easy to see why fans of the Alien AND Predator franchises were massively disappointed when this came out. But now, with almost 20 years of distance, the guys are looking at this movie with fresh eyes. Is it possible it isn't actually as bad as they remember? Or are they ignoring more warning signs than the crew of Charles Bishop Weyland's doomed expedition? Either way, this thing is a battle of two evils and humanity just might hang in the balance. Luckily for all of us, this episode (featuring not one but TWO beers from Dominion City Brewing Co.) is a winner no matter which side you're on.

Cooper and Nolan are making a deal with the devil this week, when they cover the remarkable tale of PETEY WHEATSTRAW! Podcast favorite Rudy Ray Moore puts his unique spin on the Faustian legend in this unforgettable piece of Blaxploitation filmmaking, and the results are as silly, sexy, and surreal as you would expect. Not surprisingly, the guys have a lot of fun with this one, as they debate whether creativity can win out over an extremely limited budget, what exactly constituted proper funeral attire for the 1970s, and whether or not this movie was a good choice for Black History Month. With all that AND the incredible comedy stylings of Leroy & Skillet, this episode (featuring a beer from Clifford Brewing Co.) is one you won't have to sell your soul to enjoy.

Love is in the air this week as Cooper and Nolan spend Valentine's Day with THE BITCH! This sassy 70s audience request puts the scandalous exploits of the rich and famous on full display, giving a window into a world that most people have never known. The result is a disco-filled feast for the eyes (and ears), as the guys riff on swimming pool orgies, what it takes to get knighted, and the best way to rig a horse race. So get ready to put yourself out there; whether you're looking for love or just a good time, this episode (featuring a beer from ABE ERB Brewing Company) is sure to capture your heart.

Cooper and Nolan are heading into the eye of the storm this week when they talk HARD TO KILL! This early 90s Steven Seagal outing is absolutely LOADED with action movie clichés - montages, car chases, bad guys with terrible accuracy - not to mention a one-liner so great that it almost redeems a ridiculous script. (Almost.) Throw in an acting performance that can only be described as unbelievable and you've got the makings of a truly silly time that the guys agree absolutely belongs on this podcast. So if you've been sleeping on Seagal's career, it's time to wake up and shave your coma beard; this episode (featuring a beer from the Storm Stayed Brewing Company) might be hard to kill, but it's easy to enjoy!

Cooper and Nolan are trapped on an island of low-budget regional filmmaking this week when they cover ATTACK OF THE BEAST CREATURES! This Connecticut curiosity boasts some of the worst acting and special effects that have ever been discussed on this podcast, but is the presence of puppets enough to make it an enjoyable watch? If the time the guys spend talking about the Titanic, men who love GILFs, and historic d**k bites are any indication, the answer is no! Either way, there's no need to tread lightly; this episode (featuring a beer from the Good Robot Brewing Company) is one creature you'll be glad to meet.

Cooper and Nolan are having a hell of a good time this week, as they ring in the new year with JASON GOES TO HELL: THE FINAL FRIDAY! This might be the most confusing of all the Friday the 13th movies, so thank goodness there's a character who knows literally everything that's going on and is more than happy to explain it. But even with exposition taking human form there was plenty for the guys to ponder, like Jason Voorhees' views on unprotected sex, which more successful actor the hero is a poor man's version of, and whether being reborn means getting a brand new body or just your old body back. One thing's for sure - whether you consider this a 90s horror classic or a movie that puts the "camp" back into Camp Crystal Lake, this episode (featuring a beer from Helltown Brewing) is sure to get your heart racing.

Cooper and Nolan are having a Cannon Films Christmas this year when they cover INVASION U.S.A.! Unfortunately, what should have been a merry celebration of Chuck Norris and all-denim wardrobes quickly devolved into a bunch of angry shouting about unnecessary characters and the absence of kicks. Did the many, MANY beers the guys drank during the recording process have something to do with this? We're not saying they did, but at one point Nolan legitimately confused the main bad guy (a Russian terrorist mercenary) with Inigo Montoya from the Princess Bride. If that last sentence confused you, just wait til you see what else is under the tree; this episode (featuring 12 days worth of beer from the 2023 Fattey Beer Co. advent calendar) is one present you can't put back in the box!

In this very special BONUS EPISODE, Cooper and Nolan unbox the first 17 beers from the Fattey Beer Co.'s 2023 Beer Advent Calendar! What kind of delicious American beers will the guys find inside? Who will end up drafting what for this week's INVASION U.S.A. episode? And what's the right way to pronounce "pecan"? The answers to all these questions and more are ready for you to discover, so don't wait til Christmas - unwrap this episode and dive in!

Cooper and Nolan are making a horrifying house call this week with DR. BLACK, MR. HYDE! It's a classic tale of one man's obsession pushing him over the edge, and it forces the guys to reconsider everything they thought they knew about topics like white people, Pretty Woman, and whether there's a positive side to doctors dating their patients. They even fire off a quick Blaxploitation power ranking, all while enjoying not one but TWO beers from Necromancer Brewing. There's nothing to be afraid of here; with so much going on you'll definitely want to give this episode a shot.

The guys are stepping into the confessional this week when they finally cover THE VELOCIPASTOR! There's all kinds of sins being revealed in this one, from Nolan's views on the Catholic Church to Cooper's binary dating scale, not to mention one of the worst superhero origin stories ever produced. Add in the very real possibility of dinosaur/human intimacy and it's no wonder this ended up as one of the most heavily edited (and ridiculous) episodes in the history of this podcast. Featuring a beer from the Church Brew Works.

Court is in session this week, and Cooper and Nolan are delivering their verdict on yet another notorious 90s comic book adaptation - JUDGE DREDD! This underwhelming sci-fi/action hybrid definitely won't show up on any Sylvester Stallone highlight reels, but it DOES give the guys a chance to talk about deliberate casting, early green screen technology, and the comedy stylings of Rob Schneider. Throw in some questionable Stallone impressions and not one but TWO near-spit takes, and you won't need to wait for a jury to deliberate; this episode (featuring a beer from the 555 Brewing Co.) is guilty of being a great time!

Cooper and Nolan are summoning some Halloween controversy this week, by digging into 80s cult classic PUMPKINHEAD! Instead of trying to find a beer to match a movie, the guys decided to find a movie to match the Shipyard Brewing Company's wildly popular Pumpkinhead ale. That seemed like a good idea on paper, but it turns out the movie isn't NEARLY bad enough to appear on this podcast. Luckily there's still plenty to talk (and laugh) about - from questionable character decisions to whether or not the title makes sense to a case of hilariously unfortunate tail placement. Not to mention a decisive "which practical fx were better" showdown with the topic of our last episode... Mac and Me! If you're in the mood for some spooky fun, then take a trip down to the podcast patch; this very special Halloween episode is ripe for the picking!

Cooper and Nolan are headed downhill by special request this week, when they discuss what many consider one of the worst movies ever made - MAC AND ME! This shameless ripoff of a MUCH more popular 80s movie is more nightmare than nostalgia, but that won't stop the guys from having a good time. And thanks to the terrible creature effects, even worse acting, and one of the most batsh*t crazy ending sequences you could possibly imagine, the conversation goes in some truly hilarious directions. Ready to come along for the ride? Then get your wheels in motion; this episode (featuring a beer from Grist House Craft Brewery) is out of this world... and into your heart.

Cooper and Nolan are sending out an S.O.S. this week when they board the DEATH SHIP! It's horror on the high seas, but the most disturbing thing might be seeing Captain Ed from The Naked Gun movies murdering a bunch of cruise ship employees. Throw in some World War II backstory, VERY so-so makeup effects, and some - ahem - homages to more famous movies and you've got an ocean adventure that's sure to raise your sail. Featuring a beer from Adnam's Southwold Brewing company.

Cooper and Nolan are cleaning up the streets this week with some help from a beloved cult icon - THE TOXIC AVENGER! After waiting literally YEARS to talk about this movie, the guys are going all out. From the pros and cons of dating the blind, to white slavery, to whether or not it's sadder to see a cute dog die than a human child, nothing is out of bounds in this conversation (except dry-cleaning jeans). Throw in the usual assortment of immature humor and d*ck jokes - all teed up perfectly by the fine folks at Troma and a ridiculous screenplay - and you've got the makings of a MONSTER episode that's more fun than you can shake a mop at! Featuring a beer from Lot 10 Brewing Company.

Cooper and Nolan are back from vacation and kicking things off with a surprise Saturday Season Premiere, as they cover the movie that YOU voted for - DANTE'S PEAK! Is this an underrated 90s gem, or yet another in a long line of forgettable disaster movies? That's just one topic the guys are racing to get to the bottom of, along with the number of sexy mayors, the best (and worst) ways to evacuate a city, and how long Pierce Brosnan can hold his bladder. Things heat up quickly in this one, so get ready to move; this SEASON PREMIERE episode (featuring a beer from Aslin Beer Co.) is an eruption of fun just waiting to happen!

Cooper and Nolan will be back in just a few days with the first of 22 ALL NEW EPISODES! Until then, here's a little taste of what the guys have on tap for Season 4.