Flying Free

Today I’m going to teach you how to use the same CBT triangle tool I use with the women I work with, my kids, and even myself to help us all understand and gain self-awareness around our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. This CBT tool has three parts that can assist you in changing the way you think, and as a result, change your life and the lives of your kids. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Episode 160Episode 105Episode 107Episode 104Episode 108Episode 170Episode 221Episode 230All the Scary Little GodsIs It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman’s Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual AbuseFlying FreeFlying HigherHERE

Ryan George grew up with a father who abused him, a church that hurt him, and a heart that needed healing. Even after learning he wasn’t the only one being abused at the hands of his father, Ryan still found healing he desperately needed, and he’s on a mission to help others heal, tell their story, and live life to the fullest. Together, Ryan and I talk about Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Hurt and Healed by the ChurchScared to LifeExplorienceInstagramFacebookAll the Scary Little GodsIs It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman’s Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual AbuseFlying FreeFlying HigherHERERyan George is the author of Hurt and Healed by the Church, and Scared to Life. He’s the blogger behind Explorience.org. He co-founded and co-leads Dude Group, a spiritual adventure community in the Blue Ridge Mountains where he lives with his wife, Crystal, and daughter, Deonnie.

BILL! My friend, Bill, wrote a little comment on my site that I wanted to share with you all. It wasn’t a nice comment, but honestly, that’s what makes this episode fun! Let’s take a look at what our little gaslighting friend said and examine more closely where he got it wrong. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: All the Scary Little GodsIs It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman’s Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual AbuseFlying FreeFlying HigherHERE

Once upon a time, I dared to write a letter to the pastor of a church I was attending at the time (after having been excommunicated from another church for telling the truth about my life, requesting help, and then acquiring a divorce to protect myself). In my letter, I wrote that his sermon that morning did not take into account abuse survivors' experiences—survivors who were probably sitting in the pews that morning confused and scared about what he was preaching at them. I wanted him to hear his own words from a different perspective—a survivor’s perspective. Surely this letter wouldn’t fall on deaf ears. He was a shepherd representing Jesus, right? He loved his flock and would want to care for their hearts, right? Wrong. Let me read you the letter I sent him, and then let me read you his letter back. It may shock you that a “shepherd” would respond this way. It shocked me then, too, but it doesn’t shock me anymore. I’ll tell you why in today’s episode. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: All the Scary Little GodsIs It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman’s Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual AbuseFlying FreeFlying HigherHERE

Today's podcast episode features a chapter from my new book, All the Scary Little Gods. It's an analogy I wrote several years ago when I was trying my darndest to explain my situation to people who couldn't wrap their brains around it. In the years since that time, I've heard from countless Christian women how much it helped them understand what they were going through. Today you can listen to this story as it was recorded for the Audible version of All the Scary Little Gods. I hope it helps you find clarity and hope. And maybe even a few laughs along the way. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here https://flyingfreenow.comIs It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriagehop on my mailing listhttps://joinflyingfree.comHERE.Flying Higher

Author, Tiffany Yecke Brooks has done it again with her new book, Holy Ghosted: Spiritual Anxiety, Religious Trauma, and the Language of Abuse. (Don't you absolutely LOVE that title? She's an amazing writer.) Have you ever been ghosted by someone? They disappeared from your life, seemingly into thin air? Have you ever been worried that God might ghost you, especially if you don’t dot your “i”s” and cross your “t’s?” Spiritual anxiety is common among Christians, and Dr. Tiffany Yecke Brooks wants to break that down with you to show that even though people may try to scare you into believing that God will ghost you if you don't do what they want you to do, that's not who God is. In this episode, Tiffany answers questions such as: This interview is the bomb, I'm telling you. And if you love what you learn from Tiffany and want to get into it with her IN PERSON, next Monday, April 22, Tiffany is joining us live on the ​Flying Free podcast club​ gathering. All Flying Free and Flying Higher members can join the podcast club for FREE, and anyone else can join by chipping in $5 a month to support the weekly publication of the podcast. When you become a member, you get access to live online gatherings that will be recorded and offered on our very own PRIVATE podcast. Become a Flying Free Podcast Club member ​HERE​ and go DEEPER with us! Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: her websiteFacebookSubstackHoly Ghostedbook playlistHoly Ghosted: Spiritual Anxiety, Religious Trauma, and the Language of AbuseI interviewed herGaslighted by God: Reconstructing a Disillusioned Faithhttps://flyingfreenow.comIs It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriagehop on my mailing listhttps://joinflyingfree.comFlying HigherDr. Tiffany Yecke Brooks is the lead or contributing writer on more than two dozen books, including multiple New York Times bestsellers. She is the coauthor of Fear Is a Choice: Tackling Life’s Challenges With Dignity, Faith, and Determination (with NFL running back James Conner), Limitless: The Power of Hope and Resilience to Overcome Circumstance (with Paralympic gold-medalist Mallory Weggemann), and the narrative nonfiction historical thriller Espionage and Enslavement in the Revolution: The True Story of Robert Townsend and Elizabeth (with historian Claire Bellerjeau). Her newest book, Holy Ghosted: Spiritual Anxiety, Religious Trauma, and the Language of Abuse, was released in April 2024. She has also published articles in peer-reviewed journals and the Smithsonian. Tiffany holds a PhD from Florida State University, where her dissertation covered, in part, cultural adaptations of stories from the book of Genesis, and an MA from the University of Bristol in the UK, where her thesis examined cultural influences and literary techniques in the Gospel of Luke. A popular speaker for student groups, faith conferences, and academic lectureships, Tiffany has taught literature and writing at Abilene Christian University, McMurry University, and the University of South Carolina – Beaufort.

“Why do you keep bringing up the past?” “You can't have boundaries with me. You're my wife.” “You're too sensitive.” “I said I was sorry. You need to accept that. Let's choose to have a good day now.” “You think you're so perfect.” Do these phrases sound familiar? They certainly sound familiar to me. I want to show you some ways you can combat these words your abuser throws at you, even if you’re just combating them in your own mind. You don’t even have to say anything out loud (because we all know what happens when we try to reason with an abuser/fool). You can just say these phrases I’m going to teach you in your head, and that will be enough to give you the empowerment and strength you need! But first, let’s check out a negative review I recently received *gasp* and look to Matthew 23 to help us figure out if this reviewer is on the right track…or not. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com. Support the Flying Free podcast AND get in on monthly deep-dive discussions with podcast guests by joining the Flying Free Podcast Club for a $5 monthly donation HERE. (Members of Flying Free and Flying Higher can join these discussions FREE. Just reach out to me, natalie@flyingfreenow.com, and we'll get you set up!) And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Gretchen Baskerville joins me in today’s episode to talk about a survey she recently conducted on peoples’ personal experiences with marriage intensives. In her survey of 330 people, what she found was shocking, fascinating, and not at all what she expected (mostly). Listen to today’s episode to find out the twelve biggest surprises in this survey and what they mean when it comes to the effectiveness of expensive marriage intensives. Each surprise gets more and more fascinating as the episode unravels - you won’t want to miss this! Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Life-Saving DivorceYouTubeThe Life-Saving Divorcehttps://flyingfreenow.comIs It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriagehop on my mailing listhttps://joinflyingfree.comHERE.Flying HigherGretchen Baskerville is a Christian divorce recovery leader and researcher. Since 1998, she has worked in churches in the Los Angeles area helping heartbroken people find strength, courage, and healing. For more than 20 years she has worked with Christian women and men going through difficult, life-saving divorces, listening with compassion to those who have suffered from domestic violence, betrayal, infidelity, addicted partners, and emotional abuse. Herself the survivor of a toxic marriage, she walked through her own lifesaving divorce and was a single mother for many years. Today she is happily remarried. She is a graduate of Wheaton College with a degree in Bible and Christian Education.

In today’s episode, I answer more listener questions from women just like you who are trying to figure out what is happening inside of their painful and confusing marriage. If you want to leave a question for me to answer on the Flying Free Podcast, I would love to hear from you! Here are the questions being addressed today: Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com. And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Have you ever been told you are incorrigible? Or how about contumacious, which means stubbornly and willfully disobedient to authority? Janet’s church promised to help and protect her, but when she decided to set a boundary to protect herself by divorcing her abuser, they turned on her with this vicious name-calling. Sort of like her abuser, come to think of it. In this final episode of our excommunication series, Janet outlines her story of waking up to abuse, seeking help from her church, and receiving a proverbial beating in return. Let’s unmask these particular wolves in Janet’s story so that we can learn how to unmask others in our own lives and in the lives of the people we care about. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com. And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

In part two of our excommunication series, I interview Valerie, a former member of a Reformed Baptist church that excommunicated her for divorcing her unfaithful and emotionally abusive husband. After years of receiving “help” from her church as she endured betrayal after betrayal from her husband, she said enough was enough. But even as she divorced her husband and then tried to leave the church peacefully, they wouldn’t allow it. They had to have the last word. Listen to Valerie’s story today. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com. And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

“Your high-handed sin against God is a dangerous domain, especially for those that claim Christ and have identified with the church.” Mareida read these words in shock after her “sin” of running away from her abuser had reached the ears of her church. Marieda has a story to tell, and you’ll want to listen in. It’s a story of freedom from emotional abuse and then being punished for it by the church that was supposed to protect her. It’s a story of deep betrayal but also rising from the ashes. This is the first in a series of three episodes about excommunication. Meet Marieda. Here is her excommunication story. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com. And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Is teaching survivors how to have boundaries the equivalent of victim blaming? I’ve seen this topic come up again and again, and I thought it was time I stated what I believe about it. The bottom line is that I believe that boundaries is an essential tool in a survivor’s toolbox. I also believe abuse is never, ever the survivor’s fault. Those two beliefs can go hand in hand nicely, and I’m going to show you how. Join me as I explain my stance, why it’s important, and what McDonald’s burgers and fries have to do with the whole sordid affair. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com. And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

I gratefully and joyfully, with so much love, offer my brand new book, All the Scary Little Gods, to you! WHO THIS BOOK IS FOR: Especially you, precious one.)You can now get All the Scary Little Gods on Amazon in the following formats: Kindle, paperback, or Audible ($19.99). Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com. And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Deconstruction can seem daunting, and you might find yourself becoming fearful of even starting. But let me tell you this: Deconstruction doesn’t have to mean losing your church family. Deconstruction doesn’t have to mean losing your faith. Deconstruction doesn’t have to mean losing your relationship with God. In today’s episode, Angela Herrington joins us to talk about the following: Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Deconstructing Your Faith Without Losing Yourselffree Facebook communityAngela’s websiteFacebookInstagramhttps://flyingfreenow.comIs It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriagehop on my mailing listhttps://joinflyingfree.comHERE.Flying HigherAngela is a faith deconstruction coach and host of The Deconstructing Faith Summit who helps people break free from toxic religious culture & empowers them to recover from #churchhurt. She has led online ministries for a decade, enjoys working with clients 1:1, in groups, and is a dynamic conference speaker. She’s a Lark’s Song Certified Life Coach who reaches thousands of people in 40+ countries each month on Facebook, IG, Twitter, Pinterest, and her blog. She’s a firstborn, Enneagram 8, Gen Xer who loves to question everything. She holds a BA from Indiana Wesleyan and a Master in Leadership from Wesley Seminary. Her graduate research project focused on leadership development and opportunities for Gen X women in the US church. Angela and her unique online ministry are featured in Lyz Lenz’s 2019 book God Land: Story of Faith, Loss, and Renewal in Middle America. She has published articles in Hope for Women and HOPE is Now magazines. She has been featured in The New Republic, Publisher’s Today, and Religion News Service. Her first book, Deconstructing Your Faith Without Losing Yourself, will be published by Eerdmans in February 2023. Angela is a wife, mom to 5, and a proud resident of Marion, Indiana, with her family when they’re not traveling the US in their RV.

We are gearing up for the release of my brand new book, All the Scary Little Gods, which will be available on Amazon in Kindle, paperback, and Audible formats on February 20th. In this episode, you’ll get some more sneak peeks including the foreword by Dr. Tiffany Yecke Brooks and chapters about my first kiss in college plus a time when I thought “crying out to God” would bring back some mail-in-rebate money. (That’s right. You’ll have to listen to believe it.) Laugh, cry, and roll your eyes with me in this sneak peek episode! Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Have you ever been told to, “first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will be able to see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye” in regards to your emotionally abusive marriage? That passage of the Bible is often used to mutualize the sin of the abuser and his victim. This is called sin-leveling, and it’s a form of spiritual abuse. Karen McMahon is here to show us how to take back the meaning of these verses to empower and strengthen ourselves. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Book a FREE Rapid Relief CallJourney Beyond Divorcehttps://flyingfreenow.comIs It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriagehop on my mailing listhttps://joinflyingfree.comHERE.Flying HigherKaren McMahon is a High Conflict Divorce Strategist, Certified Divorce Coach and Founder of Journey Beyond Divorce. She works with women going through high-conflict divorces. Her signature approach addresses the internal intricacies of intense emotions, fixed mindset and unconscious behaviors along with external complexities of legal approaches, financial awareness and co-parenting hurdles, ensuring that her clients emerge both victorious and transformed.

During the entire year of 2023, I wrote a book. It was not an easy book for me to write, emotionally, and I’m glad to be done and even more glad to release it into the world soon. In this episode, I discuss why I titled my new book, All the Scary Little Gods, and I explain the symbolism on the front cover. Please note: In today's episode, which was recorded several months ago, I mention that All the Scary Little Gods will be released on February 22nd, 2024. It will now be released on February 20th, 2024! Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

“Communication is key,” right? But healthy communication often isn’t possible with an emotionally abusive individual who twists your words and uses them against you. Today’s conversation is with Mikki Gardner, Certified Life + Conscious Parenting Coach. Mikki’s expertise and knowledge will help propel you forward as you learn how to deal with toxic communication cycles in the context of co-parenting. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Mikki’s websiteConscious Co-parenting MasterclassCo-Parenting with ConfidenceThe People Pleaser’s Guide to Co-Parenting Wellhttps://flyingfreenow.comIs It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriagehop on my mailing listhttps://joinflyingfree.comHERE.Flying HigherMikki Gardner is a Certified Life + Conscious Parenting Coach, the host of Co-Parenting With Confidence Podcast, and a mom to her son! After learning how to navigate life post-divorce & using it as a catalyst to her own transformation, Mikki now helps moms move past the divorce drama to become calm, confident co-parents, even without their ex’s participation. Mikki is on a mission to help women navigate the emotional and practical difficulties of divorce and co-parenting while creating an intentional, joy + ease-filled life after divorce.

“I’m really struggling with feeling extremely lonely. How did you deal with this in a healthy way? “How do you cope with loneliness? A shattered, broken heart?” “We don’t speak to each other at all most of the time, so I just get really lonely for human fellowship and interaction.” “I’m feeling really isolated. I just feel sad and alone.” “I need help dealing with how lonely I feel all the time.” Do these expressions of loneliness feel familiar to you? Then today’s episode is for you. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.