We are Childfree

Natasha is a British-Asian woman who was born with a bicornate uterus, who found out at 21 that carrying a child to term would be very difficult and dangerous. This helped Natasha make a careful, considered choice about being childfree, but it was the final disappointment for her traditional Hindu parents who she’s now cut out of her life. This was an eye-opening conversation about growing up in England as someone of South Asian heritage, being “not brown enough” for some people, and breaking free of your family’s rigid expectations to create a lovely childfree life for yourself. Read Natasha’s story on We are Childfree: “It was very much a decision thrust upon me at a really young age so it’s probably why I’ve thought about it more than my peers.” Join your community of childfree cheerleaders and sign up for a We are Childfree membership today!

We are Childfree community member Lisa Jansen is really living up to her idea of a “life done differently”. Based in New Zealand, Lisa left her cosy corporate life behind to live in a van for a summer - which turned into 5 years on the road! She’s just published a memoir called Life Done Differently, in which she shares the ups, downs and all the life-changing experiences of full-time van life. We’ll be discussing Life Done Differently in the We are Childfree book club on September 21st. To join in, become a We are Childfree member today!

How do you decide whether to have kids or not? That's the question from a self-proclaimed fencesitter that we put to the We are Childfree community for this episode of Ask WAC! How can you even imagine life as a parent? How do you separate external pressures from your own inner feelings? Listen to find out! To get the full episode, join We are Childfree today 🤗 And if you have a question or problem you'd like the community's help with, email hello@wearechildfree with "Ask WAC" as the subject line, and we'll tap into the childfree hive mind for a future episode! 🐝

Do childfree people ever regret their decision? That's the burning question we put to the We are Childfree community for the very first episode of Ask WAC! How many childfree people experience regret? Where does that regret come from? What does it feel like? Listen to find out! Sources for this episode: The incredible We are Childfree community. Join us! MSU study confirms: 1 in 5 adults don’t want children — and they don’t regret it later Childfree by Choice: The Movement Redefining Family and Creating a New Age of Independence by Dr Amy Blackstone Podcast: No regrets, with 78 year-old childfree trailblazer Marcia Drut-Davis Regrets, hot and cold on The History of Emotions Blog If you have a question or problem you'd like the community's help with, email hello@wearechildfree with Ask WAC as the subject line, and we'll tap into the childfree hive mind for a future episode! 🐝 To get more Ask WAC, other bonus episodes PLUS the support of our wonderful community of childfree cheerleaders join We are Childfree today 🤗

Author Sari Botton calls her hysterectomy the best thing that ever happened to her, a true blessing. An older Gen Xer, she never felt entitled to choose not to be a mother, and at 40, found herself in a fertility clinic getting a diagnosis that gave her “permission” to live a happily childfree life. Sari has such a unique perspective, and it was amazing getting to talk about embracing a choice that was chosen for you, and the forces that want to strip us of our choices. Check out Oldster Magazine, Sari’s incredible newsletter which explores what it means to travel through time in a human body, at every phase of life. Read “My biological clock can’t tick fast enough” by Sari Botton. Join the We are Childfree membership for a video version of this podcast.

The first man we’ve ever had on the pod! We’ve had a lot of requests to hear from couples about how they navigate the childfree choice together, so we reached out to Xander, husband and business partner of sex therapist Vanessa Marin. The couple opened up on their Pillow Talks podcast about their decision not to have children, in what proved to be their most popular episode ever! Xander told us how they arrived at their choice, and when they did, how this “domino belief” gave them permission to create a life together that truly fulfils them. It was great to hear from a man about how his experience differs from his wife’s, how they’ve coped with their families’ expectations, and how they counsel parents about their relationships and sex lives. Check out Vanessa and Xander Marin on vmtherapy.com and their Instagram. Pillow Talks: The Truth About Why We’re Child Free Pillow Talks: How To Decide If You Should Have Kids Or Not. And Are We Still Child Free By Choice? Join the We are Childfree membership for a video version of this podcast.

Here's your first sip of Childfree Tea, the brand new bonus podcast from We are Childfree! Join founders Zoë and James for an emotional update on the ups and downs of running a global childfree community. Get the latest on our beautiful fur baby Olive, our wonderful coverage in The Guardian, meeting childfree icon Cindy Gallop and our plans to hit the road. To get more Childfree Tea, exclusive community interviews and answers to your burning questions, become a We are Childfree member today!

Cindy Gallop is the older childfree role model we all need! She calls herself the “Michael Bay of business” because she likes to blow shit up - most famously as the founder of the revolutionary social sex platform MakeLoveNotPorn. Cindy never wanted children, adores being single, dates younger men casually and recreationally for sex, and doesn’t give a damn what anyone else thinks! She’s become an icon for Gen Z on TikTok, who can now say “I have seen my future and it is bright.” Join us for a pep talk about being unapologetically yourself and designing your own life, a life that gets better and better! Find Cindy at cindygallop.com and MakeLoveNotPorn, and check out her revealing episode of What’s Underneath on StyleLikeU. Cindy and I both recommend the incredible book “Why Have Kids?: A New Mom Explores the Truth About Parenting and Happiness” by Jessica Valenti. Join the We are Childfree membership for an exclusive video version of this podcast.

Enjoy some classic We are Childfree! My conversation with clarity coach Keltie Maguire is one of our all-time most popular episodes - we still hear from people who say this conversation has helped them either work out whether they want kids or not, or to accept their ambivalence and move forward with their lives. If you’d like more help navigating your ambivalence, check out the online workshop we’re running in collaboration with Keltie, “Kids or childfree?”. If you’re tired or making endless “pros and cons” lists, feel like time is running out to make a decision, or if you’re worried you’ll make the wrong choice and end up regretting it, this is the workshop for you! Pick up your ticket here and Keltie and I will see you there 💝

Like a lot of artists, portrait photographer Laura Zalenga is a dreamer. She imagines a future when generations live together, so the older people she met during her "Beauty of Age" project feel useful, and younger folks can benefit from their experience and wisdom. In this utopia, childfree people and parents support each other, and everyone has access to the education and choices that allow them to live the life that's right for them. What a wonderful world that would be! This was a super inspiring conversation with a fellow photographer who reminded me of the power of art to change how people think, how they live. Find Laura at laurazalenga.com and follow her on Instagram at @laurazalenga. Her incredible "Beauty of Age" Adobe Creative Residency project can be found at beautyofage.myportfolio.com And the podcast episode she mentioned is Sterilised at 23, with Daniela Echeverry from season 1 of We are Childfree. Join the movement at wearechildfree.com ✊

It can be hard trying to decide if you want children or not, and it can be doubly difficult when there are two people involved in the decision. That’s why I wanted to speak to today’s guest, Melanie Hunter, who went with her husband to couple’s therapy, specifically to unpack the question: should they have kids? It was fascinating to hear about how they made an intentional choice to be childfree, and heeded their therapists’ advice that, if you’re not going to make a baby, you should create something else together: a purpose, a life. Follow Melanie on Instagram @melaniehunter888. Check out the great work of Best Buddies International. And the book Melanie referred to is Cunt: A Declaration of Independence, by Inga Muscio.

Eva zu Beck knows more than most about finding the courage to put yourself out there as a strong, childfree woman. She’s a solo adventure traveller with millions of YouTube subscribers who - like the rest of us -struggles with being real, instead of trying to be perfect. In this super candid chat we shared about trying not to minimise ourselves, about setting boundaries and taking the freedom to find ourselves over and over again. Such an inspiration! Find Eva on YouTube at Eva zu Beck and Unplugged. Check out Zoë and We are Childfree community members in Eva’s video, “I Don't Ever Want to be a Mother. Here's Why”. Join your childfree community at We are Childfree.

I invited Emma Hollen onto the pod because of a super-entertaining Twitter thread about her struggle to get a tubal ligation, and her eventual success, at age 30. As a pansexual, non-binary person, Emma doesn't feel that she fits the narrow definition of "woman" that society would force her into. And, as a science journalist, she taught me a lot about the diversity of the natural world, our place in the universe, and our chemical urge to procreate - which is distinct and different from some people's desire to have and raise a child. Read the Twitter thread that tells the story of Emma's sterilisation... with GIFs! Listen to the podcast episode Emma referred to, No doubts, with journalist Sarah Chebaro.

Jerra Latrice Mitchell is such an inspiration! She knew she was a teenager that she didn’t want kids, but later when she was diagnosed with fibroids and learned she couldn’t get pregnant, that brought up some big emotions that she needed to work through. Recognising that black women face different expectations around motherhood, and different experiences of infertility, Jerra created a space for other childfree and childless women called Unfertilized Eggs. I loved getting a fresh perspective on life without children, from someone who’s doing incredible work in this space. Check out Unfertilized Eggs. Recommended reading: the Women’s Health limited series Black Women & Infertility. Read more childfree stories, and find out when the We are Childfree online community launches at wearechildfree.com

Anna Brooke was born with a health issue which means that pregnancy and childbirth could be very dangerous for both herself and the child. Over time, she came to accept that she wouldn’t be able to have biological kids of her own. So instead of becoming a mother to the teen daughter she used to write to in her diary, Anna now works as a high school teacher. She’s showing her students that there are other ways to live. I’m so happy to be able to complicate the narrative around people without children, and super grateful to Anna for being so open, honest and vulnerable about her childfree journey. Check out Anna’s artwork here. The books we discussed in this episode: Regretting Motherhood by Orna Donath, Selfish, Shallow and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers On The Decision Not To Have Kids, edited by Meghan Daum, and The Nine Lives of Rose Napolitano by Donna Freitas (who’s been on the We are Childfree podcast!) This podcast is made possible by the generous support of the We are Childfree membership community. Join us at wearechildfree.com

For Jenny Castano, being childfree is so much more than a lifestyle choice - it’s meant having the freedom to create the life she’d always dreamed about. When she moved from Colombia to Queens, New York, as a teenager, Jenny already knew that she wanted to learn English, go to college, find a profession and travel the world. Check, check, check - she’s done all that! Even though she’s too modest to admit it, Jenny is a real trailblazer helping to make the world a better place. Follow Jenny on Instagram (and her adorable bunny Mochi!) at @jencastano We recorded this episode before the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade. To find out how you can support abortion access, check out the resources at https://wearechildfree.com/links Read more childfree stories, and find out when the We are Childfree online community launches at wearechildfree.com

We are Childfree is back for season 2 with one of my dream guests! Caitlin Durante is an LA-based comedian and co-host of the Bechdel Cast, which takes a look at movies through an intersectional feminist lens. I spoke to Caitlin a year after her tubal ligation, in the run up to what she’s calling “raw dog summer part 2”! We shared our experiences getting permanent birth control, the hoops we had to jump through and the dumb comments we heard from doctors, nurses, and random dudes. Join us for a lolsob as we dive deep into a convo about feminism, film, fertility and fucking the patriarchy 🔥 Follow @caitlindurante on Twitter, and read this amazing thread about her tubal ligation. Listen to the Bechdel Cast and Caitlin’s solo podcast, Sludge: An American Healthcare Story, starting with this episode which compares a man and woman’s experience getting permanent birth control. If you’re seeking permanent birth control, the childfree subreddit has a couple of useful resources: a list of childfree-friendly doctors all over the world, and a sterilisation wiki full of information and resources. Read more childfree stories, and find out when the We are Childfree online community launches at wearechildfree.com

Keltie Maguire is a clarity coach who's originally from Canada and now lives in Germany. It's only in the last six months, as she nears her 40th birthday, that Keltie's reached a 95% confidence in her choice to embrace a life without children. That last 5% is super important, because Keltie isn't someone to fully close the door on any possibility, preferring to live the most dynamic life possible. You'll hear about how for Keltie, like so many of us, the desire to be a mother simply never arrived, and how she found her way through this ambivalence, towards a joyful, fulfilling life. This one's a must-listen if you aren't sure whether you want children or not, as Keltie and I swap strategies for finding clarity and feeling comfortable with the life path you're currently on. Find out more about Keltie at keltiemaguire.com and check out The Clarity Podcast wherever you get podcasts. Listen to the We are Childfree episode with 78-year-old childfree trailblazer Marcia Drut-Davis, and my interviews with other older women role models Barbara Krulik and Shelley. The books we talked about in this episode are The Baby Decision: How to Make The Most Important Choice of Your Life by Merle Bombardieri, and Wanting: The Power of Mimetic Desire in Everyday Life by Luke Burgis. This episode is from the best of season 1 of We are Childfree. Sign up to the newsletter to be first to find out when season 2 launches 👉 https://wearechildfree.com/newsletter

Shelley is a clinical psychologist and second-wave feminist who's been fighting for our rights since the 70s. She was an early beneficiary of Roe vs Wade, which legalised abortion in the US, and chose to be sterilised at 21. Now that she's 65, it was a pleasure to look back with her over an action-packed life, to see how far we've come in the struggle for gender equality and bodily autonomy... and why we're still fighting! Shelley was the perfect person to speak to about the question of whether to have kids or not, as she's helped many women think through their options, and her example lights the way for anyone interested in taking the road less-travelled. If you're curious about the childfree choice, this one's packed full of advice and insights that could help your decision. And if you've made up your mind, this episode will give you an absolute icon to look up to! This episode is from the best of season 1 of We are Childfree. Sign up to the newsletter to be first to find out when season 2 launches 👉 https://wearechildfree.com/newsletter

In Donna Freitas' new novel, The Nine Lives of Rose Napolitano, the eponymous heroine faces a dilemma. Before she got married, her husband promised her he didn't want children - but now he's changed his mind. Could happily childfree Rose will herself to become a mother in order to save her relationship, and if so, what might her life look like? Author Freitas found herself in this very scenario in her real life, and it made her question everything - her lack of a maternal instinct, her worth as a woman, what kind of future she could hope for, without children - or her husband - in it. It was so enlightening to speak to someone who's looked at the childfree choice from every possible angle, as a scholar of religion and gender studies, and the author of a Sliding Doors-style plot that dares to ask: what if...? Learn more about Donna at donnafreitas.com and follow her on Instagram at @donnafreitas.writer. If you're childfree and would like to be interviewed by Donna for an upcoming project, contact her on donnamariefreitas@gmail.com. You can buy The Nine Lives of Rose Napolitano in the US on bookshop.org, in the UK at Waterstones and in Italian at Mondadori (with more languages on the way!) This episode is from the best of season 1 of We are Childfree. Sign up to the newsletter to be first to find out when season 2 launches 👉 https://wearechildfree.com/newsletter