Scully Nation: An X Files Rewatch Podcast

This week we are pausing and taking a look back on Season 7 as a whole! We unpack some special featies, do episode rankings, read some listener emails, do some predictions for the future, and play some trivia! Topics of discussion: Tea Leoni’s giant rhinestone cross necklace, Gillian fully in director mode, whether or not Mulder will be Alien Skyping into Scully’s OBGYN appointments, our new favorite crew member the bug wrangler, urban legends, our abiding love for Machete Scully, and our need for an episode where the Lone Gunmen babysit Scully’s baby. Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are catching a ride on a UFO to keep track of our best guy while we discuss “Requiem”! We’re talking CSM in his deathchair, the return of everyone’s favorite plot thread (the expenses storyline), our charisma-less girl Marita making her lackluster return, how the real X-File is the mystery of Skinner’s doors, how much Scully enjoys Mulder punching people, and big, big babies. We note how all journeys end in spooning, whether or not we would listen to Marita’s podcast, decide that Scully would absolutely kill the “Taken” speech, note that the real plotline of the episode is that CSM’s kids are all unionizing, and how if we were Skinner, we would just never come back to DC to look Scully in the eyes after we lost Mulder. Mulder’s been whooshed away on a UFO, but more importantly, it’s been 200 days since the last mention of the nanobot storyline. We demand resolution! Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are trying to outsmart a genie while we discuss “Je Souhaite”! We’re talking this episode chock-full of Classic Vince Guys, Small Mouth, whether or not the Boo Crew has groupies, the return of Scully’s Silly Science Corner, proto-Badger and Skinny Pete, and poor Gillian still in debt from mime school. We rage against Scully’s evidence theft-related PTSD, figure out lip protection, do more Vince impressions that are getting farther and farther away from reality, and discuss bugs tossing helium atoms as a method of assassination. Also important: the correct term for having an X-File happen at you is to be stricken. Add it to the record books. It’s official. NOTE: Please submit Season 7 questions/comments by April 21st! Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are accidentally following our long-lost twins around the country while we discuss “Fight Club”! We’re talking Uncanny Valley Mulder and Scully, how something horrible must have happened to Mark Snow this week to produce this music, glasses that are just made for breaking, whether non-fraternal siblings are even a thing, and how a sewer cyclone took Mulder from us. We wonder what exactly they were trying to do with Argyle, wish we’d got more sewer adventures (maybe or maybe not involving ninja turtles and Pennywise creatures), laugh that it is apparently very easy for Scully to just forget about Mulder’s existence, and give out a rare Scully Nation condemnation placard. Slide whistle sound effects: Yay or Nay? We’re voting Nay. NOTE: Please submit Season 7 questions/comments by April 21st! Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

Welcome back to Mulder Nation! This week we are heading out on our yearly father-son bonding road trip while we discuss “An Ice Capade to Remember”! We’re talking how everything is topsy-turvy this week, Mulder and the Cigarette Smoking Man are on their father-son bonding trip, 2-person curly straws, how we wish Scully would just stop calling Mulder all the time, Bizarro Skinner, parking motivation, and of course the SPE (Sports Per Episode) quotient. We’re just asking for a reasonable price on the gift stuffed bear that says “I Heart My Adult Son”. It’s absolutely necessary we get our hands on one of those. NOTE: Please submit Season 7 questions/comments by April 21st! Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are going full Hollywood while we discuss “Hollywood A.D.”! We’re talking how Skinner can tell his career at the FBI is going to be cut short and deciding to pivot to his Hollywood producer era instead, how much we hate Wayne, how relaxing it is to have a lunchtime walk in a basement crypt, how Scully apparently speaks ancient Greek now?, make fun of “master forger” medieval documents that look like an 8th-grader’s voyageur journal project, and how Skinner clearly had A Lot of input on this movie script. We wonder whether Skinner told Wayne about the bee, agree how canonical Mulder’s love for Plan 9 is, wonder whether Scully really is in love with Skinner, get comfortable in our “loving Chuck” era, and celebrate the split-screen bubble bath scene we have been waiting for forever. Also: There’s no way Skinner would suspend them for this, this is not even close to the worst thing they’ve ever done with FBI resources. Let’s be real here. NOTE: Please submit Season 7 questions/comments by April 21st! Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are just confirming for everyone that smoking is indeed bad for you while we discuss “Brand X”! We’re talking the FBI inflicting protective custody on people, how ridiculous it is to get mad at the Bigfoot Division for coming up with theories about Bigfoot, theorize that the Cigarette Smoking Man must be at fault for this somehow, and get very excited about Mr. Jigsaw himself showing up on the scene. We’re cracking our fingers and getting our Saw jokes ready. We get really disgusted at all the bugs in people’s lungs (NOT where bugs are supposed to be), Skinner starts chewing on wheat and becomes our audience surrogate, discover that Scully can stop you from smoking with just A Look and how anti-smoking campaigns should really make use of that, and we do just spend 5 minutes looking at Tobin Bell’s IMDB page. Also: we have a heated debate on whether Skinner is good at laying down the law. The most contentious forum discussion in existence, locked after 256 pages of heated debate. NOTE: Please submit Season 7 questions/comments by April 21st! Don't listen to the date we say in the episode, our recording schedule moved back by a week. Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are reuniting with old flames while we discuss “all things”! We’re talking how this episode clearly came about because Gillian Anderson wanted to direct a Moby music video, how scared we were by Daniel’s massive man hands, how this is Gillian’s first directing gig because she’s not tall enough to reach the cameras, we make fun of Scully’s disgusting lunch, and track the continuing story of Scully’s old man predilection. We yell at Scully to go hang out at Stonehenge with her boyfriend, track Scully’s multiple Phantom Thread situationships, point out Mulder’s blonde woman energy, and celebrate because the Boo Crew is at least heavily implied to have had relations, which more importantly means Amanda was right. We wonder whether Scully has slept with all her teachers, we get sad because Gillian has been inducted into the boring voiceover cult, and we’re just asking where we can get that “Stonehenge Rocks” hat, because it is amazing. Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are abandoning our partner on a stakeout to eat Eggs Benedict in the suburbs while we discuss “Chimera”! We’re talking Mulder being forced into suburbia yet again, how we simply must bring back psychomanteums, poor Scully abandoned on a crappy stakeout, Phil the Philanderer, and how traumatizing it is to see a bird. We propose Skinner bringing his succubus along to solve this case, wonder whether Mulder slept in a giant bed with this couple, and notice how much women love Mulder for his loser, loser ways. We’re starting this petition now: Get Mulder out of the suburbs! Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are taking a road trip with a man we were pretty sure was our biggest nemesis while we discuss “En Ami”! We’re talking CGB and Scully’s Totally Rad Road Trip Spotify playlist, Mulder’s very necessary flowchart to manage his anxiety when Scully doesn’t answer the phone, CSM becoming very acquainted with Diesel Dana, whether the alien surgery is to remove the part of the brain that recognizes that CSM sucks so bad, and debate whether having to hang out with Ol’ Smokey is in fact the worst thing that has ever happened to Scully. Steep competition. We’re giggling over the episode taking place in Goochland and Milford because we’re 12 years old, Mulder’s freaking out because Scully has been emailing a guy called Cobra who’s probably taller than he is, and we find it very, very interesting that Scully has access to Skinner’s private line. We’re noticing, that’s all. And for the most horrifying revelation of the episode: Does Mulder have the puppy-dog eyes gene because he got it from the Cigarette Smoking Man? Terrifying. Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are making poppets and popcorn and raging against modern medicine while we discuss “Theef”! We’re talking how this regional award is definitely the other woman in this doctor’s marriage, how much we love the cute little dirt men, how much we are sick of California, and how this is a big night for poultices. We propose a haunted award episode, get excited about some adorable voodoo dolls, enjoy Scully pratfalling all over the place, discuss Mulder and Scully’s grandparent situation, and scold Mulder and Scully for disappearing for 15 minutes while the doctor solves the crime for them. And remember: Stinky’s good. Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are entering virtual reality to kick some virtual ass while we discuss “First Person Shooter”. Note the lack of an exclamation mark. We’re ready to be true haters this week. We talk how the term “male gaze” was probably invented to describe this episode, puzzle over the Venn diagram of Euro-goons and cyber trash, advocate for Gillian Anderson getting a big spray bottle for the rest of the crew this time, how this episode wants to be “Basic Instinct” so bad, how unsettling (in a bad way) it is to watch a bunch of grown men salivating over women like this, and how this episode shockingly passes the Bechdel test. We leave room for levity as we clown on Mulder’s little gaming outfit, wonder if Chris Carter was mad at David Duchovny and that’s why the episode is like this, discover they had to shock David Duchovny to put on the suit, and just shake our heads at how out of character everyone is. But the one thing we did learn from this episode that we can all take with us: Scully with a big gun IS feminism. That’s just facts. Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are cruising the streets of Los Angeles in search of a werewolf while we discuss “X-Cops”! We’re talking Deputy Pretzel, Scully needing a giant hoodie and sunglasses to hide from the cameras, whether or not Mulder still has the Mrs. Bigfoot sketch in his wallet, how the glass ceiling is really about people assuming you haven’t seen IT, and adore Steve and Edy, our new favorite characters of all time. We track the Scully family telephone tree as everyone realizes that poor Dana is on TV, whether or not Skinner threw a party to watch this live, the mysterious poltergeist that keeps leaving “Kick me” signs on Mulder’s back, and reassess whether or not Mulder loves attention. You flip this? Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are tying our deep psychological trauma into a neat bow and moving on with our lives while we discuss “Closure”! We’re talking everyone’s need to wrap up the Samantha storyline already, how Harold the psychic has Shawn Spencer energy (derogatory), how Scully really needs a kid leash for Mulder, how much we want to see Scully in Mindhunter, and how the Cigarette Smoking Man definitely has a rotary phone fidget. We completely forget about CSM’s Jesus surgery, theorize that Spender failed to tell Mulder he knew Samantha after one too many bullying incidents, how much CSM wants to be the weird uncle villain (and how he never will be), how sad the Mulder + Samantha reunion is, get excited about our first real double X-File, but honestly spend most of our time talking about David Duchovny’s terrible surfer dude wig. In the immortal words of David Duchovny: Hey Kim, watch this shit. Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are investigating Bad Santas and definitely NOT projecting about our missing sister while we discuss “Sein und Zeit”! We’re talking our need for Skinner to tag along on the Boo Crew’s cases, whether or not the incompetent lawyer is the parents’ third, the exciting (if you’re Chris Carter) appearance of Harsh Realm, and wonder what stage of a relationship agreeing to do an autopsy on your future mother-in-law is. We wish for a bucket seat for the Sku Crew, get excited about Teena’s (last) appearance, get really scared when Mulder asks for some time off for his mental health, and contemplate how scary Skinner would be as a substitute teacher. Also, Skinner’s most questionable line: “This is your basic missionary-style FBI work.” Your what now?! Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are trying to prove to snakes that we are righteous while we discuss “Signs and Wonders”! We’re talking Boring Church vs. Fun Church, Wayne from Letterkenny making an appearance, the disgusting lack of Screaming Guy in the credits, how much we love beloved character actress Beth Grant, how Reverend Enoch really gets the most out of every single vowel, and how Scully is about to take Mulder to Catholic school. We make fun of Mulder’s good boy church clothes, wonder where everyone else in this empty-ass town is, wonder yet again why Mulder hasn’t joined a cult, and shake our heads that Reverend Enoch stole Boyd Crowder’s look. Disgusting. Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are heckling boring street magicians while we discuss “The Amazing Maleeni”! We’re talking how Billy LaBonge could only exist in 2004, how Mulder and Scully are embroiled in their sick, twisted games and pulling the rest of us into it, how Scully demands in her rider that Mulder be the eye candy at the autopsy, their triumphant return to the Craddock Marine Bank, and how troubling it is that they do let an innocent man go to prison in this one! We address the real controversy of the episode that Scully only wore that top hat for 0.2 seconds, how we all at heart want to be in cahoots, and whether or not Vince Gilligan is a mysterious guy. And if there’s one thing you take away from this episode, please remember: Magic is all about misdirection. That is so important. Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are welcoming back our least favorite death fetishist serial killer while we discuss “Orison”! We’re talking the dawn of the 21st century, boo Donnie for a while, how it’s dangerous to wake up Scully after she’s tucked in for bedtime, how silly it is that Donnie turns into a literal demon, tactical Scully, Mulder automatically turning into a jerk during Scully religion episodes, and cheer on Scully as she kicks Donnie Pfaster’s creepy ass. We get troubled at Scully murdering a man in cold blood, discuss why Mulder is sleeping on the couch this week, love the congregation convicts, and get sad that now Illinois is ruined for Scully too. There aren’t a lot of states left for her! Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are trying to outthink the machinations of fate while we discuss “The Goldberg Variation”! We’re talking our need for a poker x-ray view, Mulder making entrances like Gene Parmesan for the delight of Scully, celebrate a rare Scully is right episode, get excited about Rube Goldberg machines, and note that Scully likes baseball now… That’s new. We puzzle over this confusing underground sewer laundry, notice Actual Child Shia LaBeouf, shake our heads at this revolving door of mob goons, and celebrate how much we love Maurice for a while. If there’s one thing that you can take away from this episode, it’s that you should sit down, listen to a Bach fugue and go into a fugue state. You’ll thank us later. Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are trying to outrun this messy drug metaphor while we discuss “Rush”! We’re talking Diesel Dana, very aesthetic interrogation rooms, how episodes like this almost (almost) make us miss Howie, the criminally-underused Ann Dowd, and Mulder being hilariously and dramatically offended by being called old. We decide that we’re Chuck fans now, get excited about the alternate episode where a ghost submarine goes around stealing flashlights from evidence lockup, propose a supernatural NextDoor, and theorize that Mulder is actually upset because everyone in this episode can run faster than him. Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!