Ruff Around The Edges

[The audio of this episode is a bit wonky, but I hope you'll put up with it because the content is great] Matilda is a canine coach who creates all the things she wishes she would have had available when working with her dog Nala for her clients. We talk about how Rafiki, her second dog, helped her grow into the person she is now. (and what on earth possessed her to get a second dog after having a first dog who was Ruff Around the Edges) When you listen to the episode you'll be blown away by her transformation and her approach to life. Imagine being startled by barking... and ending up working with dogs. We talk about the constant state of dysregulation living in a home with inter-dog aggression brings. About the toll living with an aggressive dog takes on a relationship. About what it takes to set boundaries with your loved ones and strangers. About learning to love life without regrets. About how freeing it is to have like-minded people by your side. And so much more. Find Matilda here: Her website: https://www.matildathecaninecoach.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matildathecaninecoach/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@matildathecaninecoach Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/matildathecaninecoach The episode website is here: https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/035-matilda-kelsall-amp-nala-and-rafiki-on-dog-sparked-personal-growth-in-leaps-and-bounds/

When you have to train something you don't know how to identify, where do you start? Can you even start? I share the experiences a friend of mine and myself have had doing physical therapy, the lessons I learned from it and how they apply to life with our dogs. How do you find which dials to tweak?

How does a UK national end up a dog (and other animals) trainer in Dubai? Just listening to Aimee's backstory will have you in awe of the way she has stayed true to herself making big life decisions. We talk about how she tries to make clients feel like they can share everything with her as a trainer so that they don't have to hide their feelings and frustration. We discuss how breed stereotypes and other assumptions may prevent us from recognizing our dogs are in pain. Are poodles simply fussy eaters or is there an underlying problem with their teeth causing them pain when they eat? What about the disappointment we feel when our dog's behavior seems to relapse? What can we do? Should we try something new or go back to basics? Links: Aimee's business in Dubai: https://pawfectgroup.com/ Aimee on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pawfectbehaviourme/ Episode Website: https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/034-aimee-of-pawfect-behaviour-on-everything-mindset-and-dogs-and-leaving-the-uk-to-be-a-dubai-dog-trainer/

This episode is for you if you identify as a perfectionist. Simply talking with Aga, the short version for Agnieszka about the concept of errorless learning has given me another way to look at perfectionism and how it can (often but not always) be unhelpful. Aga talks about training behaviors to fluency which is different from perfection, and about the benefits of playing by someone else's rules now and then, just to get you out of your comfort zone. She will have you completely rethink the idea of "just one more repetition" and "ending on a win". Not just that. What about extinction and frustration? Do we need frustration or can we skip it? Aga also blew my mind by giving me a way of looking at resilience completely differently. What if resilience, the ability to bounce back, isn't an innate trait? What if it simply amounts to having a big enough skillset to be able to handle errors? And since skills can be taught, what if you could teach resilience? Errorlessly? With minimal frustration? How does this apply to humans? How does she apply it in her personal life and her business? And of course, we chat about Agnieszka's new book, the Animal Trainer's Comprehensive Handbook. Listen to this episode multiple times. It's packed with gems! Links: Tromplo on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tromplo/ Agnieszka's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/agnieszkajanarektrainer/ The Tromplo website: https://tromplo.com/ The link to the new book, the Animal Trainer's Comprehensive Handbook: https://tromplo.com/product/animal-trainers-comprehensive-handbook-by-agnieszka-janarek/ Also mentioned: Dr. Susan Friedman: https://www.behaviorworks.org/ Ken Ramirez: https://www.kenramireztraining.com/ Kay Laurence: https://www.learningaboutdogs.com/ Episode website: https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/033-agnieszka-janarek-of-tromplo-on-errorless-learning-lack-of-perfectionism-and-resilience-in-both-humans-and-dogs/

Als Ninke Luka adopteert heeft hij al twee jaar lang in een Russisch asiel gezeten. Eenmaal thuis in Belgisch Limburg durft hij niet eens binnen te komen, zo ontzettend moet hij wennen aan zijn nieuwe leven. Goedbedoelde adviezen als "da's een een scheper, die moet u wel bezig houden" blijken voor Luka helemaal niet te werken. Ninke vertelt over de omzwervingen die haar uiteindelijk naar Daniëlla van Paws in Touch leiden en wat haar overtuigde om toch nog weer meer geld in training te steken. Althans, het belangrijkste voor Luka blijkt om helemaal niet te "trainen", maar om juist in te zetten op rust. Als later blijkt dat Luka weer achteruit gaat, vertrouwt Ninke het niet. Ze vermoedt dat er pijn in het spel kan zijn. Eerste röntgen foto's laten "slechts" een milde heupdysplasie aan één heup zien. Gelukkig gaat Ninke af op haar eigen intuïtie en laat ze verder onderzoek doen. Luka blijkt gruwelijk pijn te hebben van een zware hernia. Ondertussen is ook Ellie bij het gezin gekomen. Wat heeft Ninke anders gedaan bij Ellie? Heeft ze op andere dingen gelet? Wat maakte dat ze het aandurfde er nog een tweede hond bij te nemen? En last but not least, wat zou ze andere hondenbaasjes als advies mee willen geven?

A spontaneous unscripted ramble about my new Mind's Best Friend group coaching program. If you like what you hear on the podcast and you have been wanting to dig deeper, now is your chance. You can find more information here: https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/november-2023-group-coaching/ Or send me an email, or contact me on social media. I'll be happy to answer any questions. Do you want to start now and not wait for any New Year's resolutions to: better relationshipscope with difficult situationsgive less of a sh*tbetter at saying nostop people pleasingadvocatetrust your own judgmentThen jump on this offer! THE DEADLINE IS NOVEMBER 5TH 12 weeks of coaching goodness that will change your life, and I am NOT exaggerating here. It's LITERALLY what my client said: "My time with Kajsa was transformational, not just for my relationship with Rosie, but for my overall wellbeing. Kajsa, your coaching was such a gift. Thank you for helping me and Rosie build resilience, clarity, confidence, and hope in the middle of a really low point. You have made a lasting impact on our lives."

Beating yourself up about being stuck in the "I kind of want to change, but I can't get myself to change, so I must not want the change bad enough" is one of the most counterproductive ways to talk to yourself. Change isn't all about action. It starts with you (and your dog) just living your life (or lives), followed by as much time as necessary to consider if there is something you want to change and how. Change is also about falling back into old patterns and trying again. When you come to that realization, you can stop beating yourself up for not changing, or for falling off the change-wagon. How can you "not be changing" after all, when you are living the very definition of change? How can you have fallen off the change-wagon, if falling off is part of change? In this episode, I relate the phases of change to life with our dogs and life in general. Hopefully, it's another way for you to look at things that allows you to start training your dog the way you want, or to make that change in your self-care routine, to quit that job and become a dog trainer. You name it.

If you follow any kind of dog related social media, then you will know Georgie, where she posts under the handle @trickwoofs. You will have seen the lovely whimsical cartoons she draws about life with a reactive dog, which are so extremely on point they always make me laugh. A particular cartoon comes to mind that has the guardian and their dog navigating the urban jungle that is the city, James Bond style, ducking behind walls and sneaking around corners, all in an attempt to avoid triggers. The topics we discuss are as diverse as Georgie’s interests. We talk about compassion fatigue in the dog training world, the parallels to raising a human child, learning to love frustration, following your passion and almost feeling like you’re not worthy of it, and so much more. Did you know, Georgie transitioned from a modeling career to dog training? Many people wanting to make a career switch in life will recognize the little voice that Georgie describes. The one that asks the question: Could I really be worthy of making a living doing the thing I love? I ask Georgie about compassion fatigue in the dog world and the dog rescue world in particular. She describes it as no longer feeling anything when you know you should be feeling something. It’s like the body shuts down to all emotions. The question becomes. How does one prevent or overcome it? Georgie’s short answer is by finding community and talking about it! To not believe that there is some kind of limit below which it is no longer okay to ask for help. She also recommends finding what works for you when it comes to doing a bodily reset. For her it’s yoga and breathwork, but for someone it might be boxing or rock climbing. We talk about allowing emotions in ours dogs and ourselves similar to what we do with our children and not feeling the pressure to of needing to respond to something. And of course, we talk about her art, and her other project which is the development of a treat dispensing muzzle. What keeps her going? What allows her to press pause when needed? What has she learned about failure and also: How DOES she manage to combine all the things she does (and she does a LOT)? Links: The Trickwoofs website: https://www.trickwoofs.com/ Trickwoofs on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/trickwoofs/ And on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/trickwoofs Episode Website: https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/031-georgie-of-trickwoofs-on-compassion-fatigue-in-the-dog-training-world-the-parallels-with-raising-a-human-child-learning-to-love-frustration-and-more/

Does your partner brush off your dog's reaction like it was nothing? Don't they understand the concept op threshold and the importance of limiting reactions? It's enough to make you fume! What could be going on on their end though? Is your partner shouting at the dog? Do you so want to get in their face and tell them that's not acceptable? What could they be going through? Are people telling you to stay calm, because it's your anxiety that is making the vet visits problematic for your dog? What could be behind them saying this? No you can never know what another person's thinking, and yet there are instances when it can come in useful to at least guess at it. Doing so can help you regulate your own emotions, come up with an appropriate response both in the moment and at a later time, and it can drastically reduce arguments and fights. That's what I talk about in this episode.

This 50th jubilee episode of Ruff Around the Edges is in Dutch! Come back next episode for more English language content. [Waarschuwing: Rond de 20 minuten horen we Thiseas even blaffen] Maak kennis met Isabelle, het baasje van Thiseas, een adoptiehond uit Griekenland Na een stressvolle start in het leven (Thiseas wordt met 6 weken met een gebroken pootje langs de weg gevonden en nadien ook nog met het vliegtuig naar zij nieuwe thuis vervoerd) is al snel duidelijk dat Thiseas meer nodig heeft dan de “hij moet het maar leren”-aanpak. Isabelle vertelt hoe ze echt leerde kijken naar wie haar hond was, wie zij was en wat ze samen konden doen waar ze allebei lol aan hadden. Eén van de dingen die Isabelle noemt is iets, dat ik nog niet vaak zo mooi expliciet heb horen benoemen. Ze vertelt dat we als mens al gauw geneigd zijn om te kijken naar wat de hond moeilijk vindt en ons daar dan qua training op te focussen, terwijl het juist heel positief kan zijn op iets compleet anders te trainen, iets waar de hond en jij plezier uit halen. Dat zorgt voor meer zelfvertrouwen in de hond draagt zo op indirecte wijze bijdraagt aan verbetering van het “probleem”. Zo voorkom je de frustratie die vaak bij beide partijen ontstaat door alleen op het probleemgedrag te trainen. Wat ze ook heel duidelijk maakt is dat je op je buikgevoel moet vertrouwen. Als je zelf doorhebt dit werkt niet en je dat ook constant voelt, vertrouw er dan ook op. Dan het thema “andere mensen” en hoe die met je hond omgaan. Hoe laat je de frustratie los rondom het niet opvolgen van je instructie? Wat als je al 100 keer aan je familie hebt gevraagd om geen oogcontact met je hond te maken als ze binnekomen? En ze doen het gewoon niet? Hoe zorg je dat je dat je niet gek laat maken? Isabelle legt uit welk inzicht haar daar veel geholpen heeft. Hoe ze heeft geleerd om geen probleem meer te hebben met kritiek van anderen. Wat doe je met ongevraagd advies? De kracht van het omgaan met gelijkgestemden en het belang om je eigen twijfels te kunnen delen met anderen komt ook aan bod, net als het schuldgevoel als je eens voor jezelf en niet voor je hond kiest. Ook daar vertelt Isabelle hoe ze dat oppakt. Verder komt het topic van medicatie voorbij. Juist een podcast aflevering van Ruff Around the Edges (die met Annie Phenix) tipte Isabelle om op tijd contact op te nemen met een gedragsdeskundige toen ze zag dat Thiseas begon te fixeren op reflecties. Medicatie laat hem juist meer zichzelf zijn in plaats van minder. Als laatste hebben we het ook nog over “adopt, don’t shop” in het licht van de flinke rugzak die adoptiehonden soms met zich meedragen. Links: Thiseas op Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thiseas.the.kokoni/ Daniëlla van Paws in Touch: https://pawsintouch.be/ Paws in Touch op Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pawsintouch/ Nina van Tilbeurgh op Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nina_van_tilbeurgh/ Episode website: https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/%f0%9f%87%b3%f0%9f%87%b1%f0%9f%87%a7%f0%9f%87%aa-030-isabelle-schippers-thiseas-over-omgaan-met-kritiek-en-trainen-van-probleemgedrag-door-er-niet-op-te-trainen/

If only you knew you would get there in the end, then the setbacks wouldn't be so hard to bear. If you just had someone who could guarantee you that, yes, your dog's going to go after a couple more cyclists and there will be 4 more periods of regression, but for sure 100% guaranteed they're going to get there, then that would probably make it easier to deal with the hard times, wouldn't it? Knowing that spring is coming makes it easier to get through the winter (well, the winters in my neck of the wood at least, which aren't "great" in my opinion). So how can we bottle a bit of that thinking and use it to our benefit? That's what this episode is about. Episode Website: https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/mindset-episode-020-how-to-believe-in-overall-success-so-you-can-work-through-setbacks/

Ali was from London but now lives in Maryland We talk about how she got into the business of dog training, which has a little something to do with her German Shepherd cross Indie. We talk about the widespread misunderstanding that all dogs should love all dogs and I may or may not tell an anecdote of me hugging a stranger to try and show them that they wouldn’t appreciate being crowded either. Spoiler alert: it didn’t work. Ali also explains something that I think is amazing: She tells new clients to first take a break from everything (like training) for a week or so, so they can reconnect with all the reasons why they love their dog in the first place. Another tough nut to crack for most of us is that of questioning authority. Ali had fewer difficulties there as asking “Why?” comes naturally to her. My hope is that by listening to Ali talk, more people will feel free to do the same. Ali’s training philosophy is that she wants to provide people with the skills that allow them to be able to tackle possible future setbacks, since it serves us well to take into account that your anxious dog will probably keep showing some anxiety from time to time, despite all the training effort you put in. Speaking of training and being a trainer, working 80 hours a week is no exception in the dog world and at first it wasn’t for Ali either. We talk about all things dog professional: The emotional burden of being a dog trainer, the taking on the setback and emotions of your clients, not earning enough to make a living, and giving away a part of you every time so that there’s less and less of you to go around. So, how did she manage to find that elusive work-life balance? Upon moving to the USA she completely restructured her business and she explains what that looks like. Her advice to aspiring dog trainers: Don’t try to be everything to all people. And finally, there’s Ali’s summary of her thoughts on expectation, frustration and celebration. It’s so on point, that I would be remiss if I didn’t write it down here: Manage expectation, minimize frustration, maximize celebration Links: Ali’s website: https://rebarkable.com/ Find Ali on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/re.barkable/ Ali’s podcast “Ask Ali” on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nl/podcast/ask-ali-a-professional-dog-trainer-answers-your-dog/id1586671078 and on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/49evBFpTbFUdOakjRA6FTV?si=21ad9666aa1d4e27 Email her: woof @ rebarkable.com EPIDOSE WEBSITE: https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/029--ali--indie-on-becoming-and-being-a-dog-trainer-and-not-burning-out/

Do you ever have a hard time relaxing after something stressful happens? You want to be in control of your emotions so your bad mood doesn't rub off on your dog or others around you. If you're angry at something, you want to calm down so you don't accidentally start a fight by lashing out at another person or so that you don't end up being unnecessarily harsh with your dog. My guess is that one of your strategies is to focus on regaining calmness as quickly as possible, by doing some version of a relaxation exercise. That's skipping an important step though, one that might allow you to forsake the relaxation exercises altogether. It's one of the things that have had the biggest impact on my quality of life and I am sharing it with you in this episode. https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/mindset-episode-019-the-best-way-to-relax-is-not-what-you-think/

Jumy is a positive reinforcement horse trainer from the U.A.E. who opened her own livery yard, malath paddock paradise, 3 years ago, but she’s been in the industry for 13 years already. I ask lots of no doubt cringe worthy questions, as I know nothing about horses, and we touch upon a ton of things. Of course I want to know how Jumy ended up in the force free training world. Unlike many dog guardians it wasn’t because she had exhausted punitive methods or because her horse had behavioral problems. Rather it was trick training that sparked the idea of using positive reinforcement training to train all kinds of behavior. If you can use it to teach a horse tricks, why couldn’t you use it to teach other behaviors after all? Being a trailblazer had both upsides and downsides. The biggest positive was that she never fell into any kind of trap of wanting to be able to do it all and know it all at once. She simply had to follow a try-as-you-go path of discovery. When her clients find her though, it usually is because they are experiencing problems with their horses. So we discuss Jumy’s approach to dealing with horse guardians who may be using tools on their horses that she doesn’t necessarily agree with. Her assumption is that the guardian loves their horse. She never wants to shame them or make the feel guilty about their choice of tool. Rather she lets them draw their own conclusions. So what about the differences? With the horse being a prey animal and the dog being a predator, Jumy explains how that affects the required rate of reinforcement. Then there is natural horsemanship. Jumy explains her views on that and how horses who are trained with that method can mentally shut down. Naturally, I ask about her dogs who live at the stables and are allowed to free roam. Funnily enough, they chill most of the time, unless they are breaking up horse fights or they decide to come along on a hack with the horses, that is. Finally, Jumy explains her criteria for canceling a session with a horse when she isn’t in the right mindset herself, and what the alternatives are, such as adapting the type of the session to her energy levels. Links: https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/028-jumy-on-no-longer-wanting-to-be-the-only-r-plus-horse-trainer-in-the-u-a-e/ Jumy on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jumys.horses/ Jumy’s livery yard: https://www.malathpaddockparadise.com/ Tango, the miniature horse: https://www.instagram.com/tangotheminiature/ Tango stacking rings: https://www.instagram.com/p/BY0VktphmWH/ The dogs who inhabit Mallath Paddock Paradise: https://www.instagram.com/thestabledog/ Mallath Paddock Paradise on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/malath.paddock.paradise/ Adele, the horse trainer that Jumy got a lot of inspiration from: https://www.instagram.com/thewillingequine/ Dog trainer Amy: https://www.instagram.com/pawfectbehaviourme/

This podcast episode is a reply to an email I received from someone on my email-list. They wrote: I was constantly trying to manage between work, my dogs, my almost adult kids, my house, a big yard with a lot of plants, my husband, my extended family, and some time for myself! Sound familiar? You're juggling all the things, but no matter the effort, it seems like something or someone is always suffering, because you never manage to get it quite right. Guilt is inevitable. Spend time on one thing and the other thing suffers. 1) Is that even true though? That someone is always suffering? 2) And are you even spending your energy where you want to spend it? Are you living in line with your priorities? These are the two main topics I discuss in this podcast episode.

Grab your dog and plan a dog walk or two. Better yet, sit down, grab pen and paper and take notes. This episode is long and chock-full of wisdom. Here are just some of the things Haley of @paws.andreflect talk about: WhyChoice points:(What Haley describes are actually techniques you will learn in coaching with me as well). metricswho to trustgood enough?diminishingreturnsfreedomBut also: how to have respectful conversationsdifferent views and opinionsTaking the leapImposter syndromevan life Find Haley, her husband Sean, their van Hermes and their blue heeler Scout here: https://pawsandreflect.blog/ https://www.instagram.com/paws.andreflect/ https://podcasts.apple.com/nl/podcast/paws-and-reflect/id1645967746 https://open.spotify.com/show/1Eu3BJt11SLdDeALOd6RVq?si=07654b34d5fd4832 Episode website: https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/027-haley-scout-and-sean-on-finding-out-where-you-and-your-dog-fit-in-the-dogworld/

Would you categorize stress as a negative emotion? Are you willing to feel it? What do you do when something stressful happens on a walk? The answer to that question might already give you the answer to the first two questions. Do you compound your stress with anger at the dog guardian of the out-of-control dog accosting yours? Or do you blame yourself for having gotten yourself and/or your dog in that situation? How could you handle things differently? One of the answers is to look at stress as a neutral thing. To not immediately place stress on the "bad" side of the "emotions divide". Will that cause you to think of stress lightly? And make you inadvertently end up in more stressful situations? I don't believe so and in this episode, I explain why. https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/bonus-episode-017-stress-how-to-feel-it-and-think-about-it-differently/

UK veterinarian Grace and I talk about her Romanian Rescue dog Piper and how being the guardian of a challenging dog has impacted her work as a veterinarian. What were the advantages she had, being a vet already, in dealing with her dog? We also talk about all the terms and certifications being thrown around that relate to animal behavior and training. Are there vet behaviorists in the UK? Who can call themselves that? Did you know you can do a master's level studies in animal behavior in the UK? But also, did you know many veterinarians have not been taught about dog body language in vet school? How does she start the conversation about behavior with dog guardians who may be oblivious to the plight of their dog? And what about ruling out pain? Turns out that you as the guardian are the person in the best position to notice if chronic pain is an issue.

Are you going after the wrong goal? Is your goal to be able to trust your dog? Is your goal to not want to be afraid of something bad happening to your dog or because of your dog? Is your goal to be able to have relaxed non-training dog walks? Or is it to be able to be calm under all circumstances? You might be chasing after the wrong thing. You wouldn't tell someone who's been in a car accident that the goal is for them to get to believing that driving is perfectly safe again. You would rather help them get in the car again despite being afraid. You would help them to accept that being afraid is part of the process. Start with acceptance of where you are at. Denying reality is only setting you up for more stress. Continuously wanting your dog walks to be relaxed when they're not, is fighting reality. It's saying: it shouldn't be like this. That is cause enough for frustration. ----------- Link to get onto my email list and to get hold of my free PDF with 6 mindset shifts: https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/tyblp001/

After she had gotten several shoutouts on the podcast already, it was about time I interview the one and only Marissa Martino of Paws and Reward herself. Or rather, I got lucky enough to have her on the show. If I were you, I would listen to this show twice. There are so many gems in there. Listen to it once, just to absorb what Marissa is saying, and then listen again and ask yourself how what she says applies to you and your situation. It will be time well spent. Marissa describes how unlike many others on this podcast her road to dog training did not start with a challenging dog. Her dog training journey started before she ever had a dog. She now focuses heavily on the human end of the leash, and mindset in particular (can you guess why I wanted to talk to her?). The spark that lit that particular fire was provided by a therapist who managed to point out how strategies Marissa already used with her dog training clients could also apply in her own life. Once Pandora’s box of parallels had been opened Marissa couldn’t unsee these parallels between the connections with our dog and the connections we have with others and ourselves anymore. The rest as they say is history. We talk about the power of turning questions around. If I believe my client/dog is not listening to me, how is it true that I am not listening to them? About how knowledge is both power and very confronting and often uncomfortable. We talk about how that discomfort often leads us to play the blame game and the power of embracing discomfort. As I keep hearing conflicting opinions on whether LIMA (Least Intrusive Minimally Aversive) as a training philosophy is “good” or “bad”, because the humane hierarchy it is based on mentions positive punishment, I ask Marissa about that too. Fittingly enough, Marissa is also the first person on the show to describe which feeling the words expectation, frustration and celebration trigger for her. Of course, showing up throughout the story is Sully, who was a senior dog when he recently passed away. Links: Marissa’s website: https://pawsandreward.com/ Marissa on Instagram: @pawsandreward Marissa’s book, Human-Canine Behavior Connection: https://pawsandreward.com/book/ Humane Society of Boulder Valley: https://www.boulderhumane.org/ LIMA and the humane hierarchy: https://m.iaabc.org/about/lima/hierarchy/ The Paws and Reward Podcast episode with Chris Pachel Marissa mentions detailing the humane hierarchy: Episode 47: The Humane Hierarchy with Dr. Chris Pachel Pet harmony offers mentorships for dog trainers: https://petharmonytraining.com/ Sarah Stremming’s website: https://thecognitivecanine.com/