Sleep like a baby?

Yes that's right, more Lucy! We had so much to say about second babies that we had to make it into a 2-parter.

Are you ever ready? What might sleep look like the second time around? Is there such a thing as a 'perfect age gap'? How do you keep your sh*t together when sleep deprived AND looking after another small human? I talk to my very good friend (and fellow sleep consultant) Lucy Bagwell about what she's learnt since having her second baby and try to take in as much advice as possible now that I'm verrrry pregnant again... For more about Lucy, see https://www.secondstarsleep.com/ or follow her @secondstartotheright_sleep

What if there was no word for self-settling? How different would your parenting experience be if nobody expected your baby to sleep in a cot in their own room? This week I'm joined by Lenka Medvecová Tinková from the Durham University Infancy and Sleep Centre to talk about how our cultural expectations shape parenting decisions and ultimately how we feel about ourselves as mothers.For more information about Lenka you can follow her on Instagram: the English speaking account is @sleepanthropologist or she has her Czech account @prosimspinkejhttps://prosimspinkej.cz/And for more info about Durham University and BASIS (Baby Sleep Info Service) see: www.basisonline.org.uk===============================For more information about the Little Nest Sleep guides and webinars, go to https://littlenest.podia.com/

A controversial question this week! There will be people who say that cry-it-out is always wrong/cruel/avoidable. And others that believe it is the best thing ever. But what about the space in between these two polarised stances? Kaitlin Klimmer and I are both sleep specialists who offer alternatives to sleep training, but where do we stand on the moral debate around infant sleep and controlled crying? We go deep into temperament, cultural expectations/norms, maternal mental health and setting boundaries whilst protecting attunement.Austria-based, Canadian sleep specialist and mother of two, Kaitlin Klimmer, has a degree in developmental psychology and more than a decade of experience working with children under five. She's completed several holistic infant sleep and breastfeeding qualifications, and is a qualified Circle of Security Parenting Facilitator. For more information see www.kaitlinklimmer.com or follow her on Instagram @KaitlinKlimmer.

This week's guest, Catherine Counihan, is an Integrative Psychotherapist working in private practice in London. Cath specialises in complex trauma, perfectionism, nervous system healing, shifting dysfunctional patterns in our families and reparenting. One of her areas of expertise is how our own childhoods impact our parenting journey. Her passion is to shift shame and help each client gain an embodied sense of being good enough. Our shame voices do not speak the truth! Cath had done a lot of personal trauma therapy prior to kids and, despite this, was set back to emotional ground zero by motherhood. Cath hosts a weekly podcast 'Grow Yourself Up' focused on how we can learn to tend to ourselves in adulthood when we have not had our needs met as children, and the challenges of doing this as we parent. She also writes, has taught at the Bowlby Centre in London and will begin teaching for the International Attachment Network in Sept 2023. She is accredited by the UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP) and has nearly 12 years of clinical experience. Cath had a previous career in financial services and is the mother of 7 year old twin girls. Insta: @cathcounihanFB: Cath Counihan - Psychotherapy MumLinkedin: Catherine Counihancatherinecounihan.co.uk

Just fill their tummies and they'll sleep all night, right? Is food under one just for fun? And what about adding rice or cereal to a bottle at 4m... where do these ideas come from?My guest today, Stacey Zimmels is a Paediatric Speech and Language Therapist as well as a Lactation Consultant (IBCLC). She offers feeding therapy plus breastfeeding and lactation support online, in the home or at a London clinic. Feed Eat Speak has a range of brilliant online resources as well - including courses and webinars about introducing solids, breastfeeding, bottle feeding and eating behaviours in older children. For more information about Feed Eat Speak see www.feedeatspeak.co.ukOne of the blogs that Stacey mentions in our chat is linked here (responsive spoon-feeding for babies): https://www.feedeatspeak.co.uk/blog/2018/9/25/top-tips-for-responsive-spoon-feeding

Is your baby sleeping less than their peers? Are they cat-nappers with late bedtimes but... actually thriving? You might be surprised to learn that this is actually A Thing! The idea that all babies need long naps and 12hrs overnight is totally outdated and not backed by science. But if you have a low sleep needs kid, you might be struggling to find more information about this.I spoke to fellow sleep consultant Paula Morales McDowell about how she discovered her own son had low sleep needs and how they made this work for their family. To find out more about Paula go to https://newparadigmmotherhood.podia.com/ or follow her on Instagram @paulamoralesmcdowell.And to listen to her podcast, search Bedtime Tea with Paula Morales McDowell.To keep in touch with me, Hannah, please follow @littlenestsleep or drop me an email at hannah@littlenest.uk.

My guest today is the relationship therapist and coach, Catherine Topham Sly who you may know from her Instagram account Insight and Connection. She is the expert in happy relationships after kids – and this is a subject that I have been desperate to cover for so long.In my opinion, how our relationships and partnerships change after becoming parents is still not spoken about widely enough. Especially in the lead up to birth itself. So when our relationship is adapting to this new stage of life it can come as a real shock when things aren’t as harmonious and blissfully loved-up as they seem to be in the movies. Today we are going to be talking about sex, communication and resentment after having a baby. I asked Catherine: What is normal? Is everyone else having loads of sex? How can you stay connected when your libido has left the building? And why does that happen for so many new parents? How can you stay connected when you’re totally touched out? And what about sex after you’re out of the baby stage? How can you get back on the saddle, so to speak – is it awkward now? How can you talk about intimacy without it becoming an argument or hurting your partner’s feelings? We even covered sex for co-sleepers… So join us for some myth-busting, taboo-breaking and practical ways to improve your relationship today! For more information about Catherine Topham Sly’s work go toinsightconnection.uk/ or follow her on Instagram at @InsightAndConnection. For more information about her Back in the Sack Workbook see https://insightconnection.uk/sex-after-kids/. Catherine's The Contented Relationship Guide is also brilliant and can be found at https://insightandconnection.teachable.com/p/the-contented-relationship-challenge.

Making her very welcome return to the Sleep Like a Baby? podcast is the one and only midwife and lactation consultant Olivia Hinge! You may well know her from much-loved Instagram account (@olivia_lactation_consultant), I know I am a super-fan. In this week's episode we talk a lot about the pressures that mothers put on themselves and celebrate the importance of imperfection. If you think you're not a good enough mother because you find crafting torturous or you find life with a small baby boring a lot of the time - you've come to the right place. But how do we practise self-acceptance in the age of mass information and parental comparison? And then throw in sickness season (which us Northern Hemisphere folk are currently enjoying) and tricky infant sleeping patterns and - well, it's a lot. --------------- As mentioned in this week's episode, my 0-18m + Toddler Sleep Guides are available here as both pdf AND audio: littlenest.podia.com. And tickets to my upcoming December Night Weaning Webinars are here: Breastfeeding: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=22681540&appointmentType=38787046 Bottle-feeding: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=22681540&appointmentType=38787155 Use code NIGHTWEAN20 for an early bird discount up until 1 December

Helen Davies is a health visitor, PICU nurse and sleep specialist as well as a mother of four. She has 22 years of parenting experience and also runs the very funny, very real Instagram account @Essential_Parenting. TW: domestic abuse and mental illness In this week's episode Helen shares her story of overcoming a toxic relationship and mental health challenges. With such generous (and often hilarious) honesty, she talks about how these things have shaped her professional life - having now worked with thousands of families - as well as her mothering and personal healing experience. We reflected on how the social media worlds of both 'gentle parenting' and sleep training can have a negative impact on new parents today with such unrealistic standards being touted as normal. Helen and I also asked: Why do people say it's a trend to respond to and treat babies with respect and compassion? Does this age of information make us feel like bad parents when we do inevitably feel overwhelmed or burnt out? For more about Helen her website is https://essentialparenting.co.uk/ If you're affected by any of the issues we discuss, the following links may be helpful: Women's Aid Refuge UK Government website Samaritans Pandas Foundation (postnatal depression awareness and support) -------------------------------------- If you're interested in the upcoming Night Weaning Webinars, see here: Breastfed babies: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=22681540&appointmentType=38787046 Bottlefed babies: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=22681540&appointmentType=38787155

This was one of the most enlightening, inspiring episodes I've ever recorded. Zoe Blaskey's Motherkind podcast is one of my favourite things to listen to and I just knew she would be the best person to talk to about maternal guilt and shame. We covered the intricacies of disagreeing with your partner over different parenting choices (what do you do when one of you really wants to sleep train?). As well as how to start giving yourself validation and recognition for the invisible labour of motherhood. ---------------------------------------------------- My new webinar about Starting Childcare + Sleep is here: https://littlenest.podia.com/ ---------------------------------------------------- Zoe Blaskey is the founder of Motherkind, a self empowerment platform for modern mums. Through Motherkind Zoe coaches mothers of all backgrounds from Global CEO's to full time mums on how to navigate the huge challenges of modern motherhood. Zoe hosts The Motherkind Podcast which is the UK's number one family podcast on i tunes and speaks every week to world leading experts on a range of topics from self care, mental health, career, nutrition and parenting. Zoe is has two daughters, and lives with her husband Guy in Dorset. https://www.motherkind.co/

Can you be a responsive parent when you've got more than one baby? How do you get two or three babies to sleep at the same time? Do they 'have to' self-settle? Is it possible to co-sleep with twins? And what happens if you've got a big family and the youngest is a highly sensitive soul that needs a lot of extra support? Kathryn Stagg is an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC for short!) and qualified sleep coach. She's also a mum of four and runs the brilliant Breastfeeding Twins and Triplets group on Facebook. https://kathrynstaggibclc.com/ https://en-gb.facebook.com/groups/BfTwinsUk/ And my new webinar (Starting Childcare + Sleep) is available to purchase here for £14: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=22681540&appointmentType=37961409

Ever since I had my mum on this podcast, I've been desperate to ask her mum more about parenthood. Did she choose to cry-it-out? Was she obsessed with how her baby slept? What were her generation's expectations of infant sleep? This episode is a super special one to me as my 90 year old grandmother and I reflect on early parenthood - what do we have in common and what can we learn from her generation?

We really don't hold back in this week's episode! Is it ok to live sleep train a 4 month old baby on Instagram? Do paediatricians have the right to tell new parents they should leave their baby to cry it out? Are we shaming other mothers by saying controlled crying isn't for us? Rachael runs HeySleepyBaby - the largest biologically-normal infant sleep account on Instagram - and as a result, she receives a lot of DMs from people who think differently to her. So I knew she'd be the perfect person to dissect the baby sleep industry with. These are really important conversations, especially as the internet (especially social media) is now such a huge part of parenting culture. For more about Rachael, head to heysleepybaby.com and don't miss her new baby sleep course that launches this week.

Sometimes the biggest change we can make to our family's sleep situation is to find acceptance and surrender to the present. I sat down with Ana from The Octopus Club to talk about how she found peace and patience over her own son's sleep (and frequent waking) over the last 3 and a half years. If you have a very wakeful baby or toddler, it can feel so lonely... and you might even blame yourself. If we can let go of that extra burden of responsibility and guilt over how our children sleep - and understand our kids for who they are - it can be a really powerful mindset transformation. For more about Ana and The Octopus Club - see theoctopusclub.com

If you co-sleep with your baby now, will you have to do it forever? Are you holding your child back from independence? And what if you WANT to do it long-term - how do you cope with other people’s opinions about that? We also get into sex and bed-sharing, cosleeping when you have a baby as well as older children and establishing your own boundaries. This week I was lucky enough to spend an hour in the company of Tiffany who runs Cosleepy - my favourite website and Instagram account all about bedsharing life. Tiffany is a UCLA graduate and adventured in the television and film industry prior to parenthood. In 2020, she founded Cosleepy to help modern parents keep their babies safe and close at night. She and her husband are currently bedsharing with their two little boys in Sacramento, California. https://cosleepy.com/

Have you ever wondered if your child's sleep is influenced by their gender? Do baby boys wake more? Do little girls take longer to fall asleep? To explore this I sat down with Kirstie from Sonshine Magazine, a proudly feminist quarterly publication that explores the challenges and the joys that come with raising boys in the modern world. If we want the world to be a more equal place for everyone, we need to think about how we raise our sons as well as how we raise our daughters.

Greer Kirshenbaum is the world's first neuroscientist doula and in this episode she shares her expert knowledge about the superpower that is nurture. We cover so much: How sensitive, attuned caregiving meets a growing brain's needs Why your baby or toddler settles differently in a childcare setting compared to home Why you don't need to feel guilty about childcare and going back to work Highly sensitive babies and strong sleep preferences How we can repair a rupture with our child if we have previously been less responsive or they have found a particular change really difficult to adapt to For more about Greer, go to nurture-neuroscience.com and don't forget to sign up for her free downloads on the site.

This week's chat is super personal! My mum, Jan, shares her experience of having four very different babies (born in the 70s, 80s and 90s) - we discuss breastfeeding, bed-sharing and responding to cries in the night. In 1978 my mum was 21 years old and had just given birth to her son. Six weeks later she found herself moving from a small town in NW England to the Yemen. She was breastfeeding and sharing a bedroom her her baby, and her own mother was appalled. I wanted to talk to my mum a little more about her experiences of early motherhood and how it changed with each subsequent baby. We talked a lot about her adventures but also compared our experiences as different generations of mothers. Has the internet made things better or worse for new parents? Do babies sleep better nowadays, or worse? What gems of wisdom does my mum want to share with parents in 2022 and what does she wish she'd known back then?

Do you have to bed-share, breastfeed and baby-wear in order to have a securely attached child? Can your little one be TOO attached? Are you making them clingy by contact napping and feeding on demand? Is it your fault if your baby or toddler has a strong preference for one parent over the other? These are really common questions that come up all the time, and there are also a lot of claims that sleep training will impact attachment as well - but what should we believe? What do we need to know about attachment? To dig a little deeper into this subject I chatted to sleep coach, toddler mum and psychologist Charlotte Inskip who you may have come across online via her Instagram account @theholisticsleepmama For more information about Charlotte and her work, see www.theholisticsleepmama.co.uk/ We mention a few books* in this episode: The Power of Showing Up: how parental presence shapes who our kids become and how their brains get wired - by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did) - by Philippa Perry *these are affiliate links, I make a small commission from each sale