Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak

This week's episode is a re-airing of a Poog classic: The hags are bubbling over with excitement. Jacqueline wants help with her navicular accessory foot injury, but they discuss: Werner Herzog's Grizzly Man and Cave of Forgotten Dreams, red light therapy, Bonus rooms, Buster Keaton, Tartuffe, and Best Week Ever. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Pizza, cherry pie, and the urge to take off running once your table is ready. If Jacqueline enjoyed it yesterday, she wants it again today. Kate is trying as hard as she can. A spider’s glance. Superbills and psychic dreams…do you want to operate at ‘peak’, or do you want to just ‘get by’? Tuesday, overlooked. Jacqueline is leaning on the Lyma, and no outside sources were used whatsoever. The soft serve was disappointing and NYAD RULES. Lip gloss dazzles anew. The way tears change the face. What if this is the beginning of insanity? Brands mentioned: WHOOP, Pat McGrath, Dr. Loretta, FLOYD, Dr. Dennis Gross Genuinely Begging for: Goop Kitchen, Perfect Amino Edited and mixed by Allie Graham. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sorry, what’s your name? Grinning in a movie theatre bathroom stall, and weeping in the car watching NASA Live. Fascination at the ‘close friends’ of the ultra-famous. Is it Baudrillard or Baudelaire? Applauding celestial bodies and researching kettles. Toothless and tea-less, we need the real moon again. A scratched pan for which no one is to blame and suspicion over a missing spatula. Kate is neglecting the neck and chopping tiny. Texting the Healer’s wife, Jacqueline’s eyebrows are fully f*cking lifted. It’s called stepping into the reality of your life! Sincerely Begging For: Goop Kitchen, Graza Brands Mentioned: Lyma, Great Jones, Caraway Edited and mixed by Allie Graham. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Presented with a porous board and sepsis for everyone we've ever met. Suffer not one exception. What is it about 4:10pm on a Friday? A return to herbs and bank culture. The unitard is not sweaty, it’s completely soaked. The dream of Hag Serum and the chore of good TV. Planes are where you do what cannot be done on earth. Upsetting evidence against good habits when the walk doesn’t take. Jacqueline massages her face, Kate sees the sunset and draws the blinds. Getting Max-ed and manicured the Russian way. Confusion at kids buying PDFs. Philosophically good, aesthetically great. The God you don’t believe in... I don’t believe in that God either. It’s time to integrate the shadow. That’s exactly the vibe! Earnestly Begging For: Hurom, Almond Cow Brands Mentioned: Purity Vodka, Catbird, KitchenAid, Caraway, Erewhon Edited and mixed by Allie Graham. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A low dose of adderall and the unexamined life… I’m listening! Kate is asked to explain what POOG is, while Jacqueline’s zealousness is often mistaken for sarcasm. The cord is not the problem, but the annuals aren’t what they used to be. No flashlight in the eye, nor in the ear. Who’d want a girl like that to get sick? Water for wellness and the perfect protein. The presence of Eggo Waffles and Raisin Bran, when the family doesn’t integrate the gifted lifestyle change. Jacqueline dreams of a room for celery and Kate never forgets God. Revelling in the honeymoon phase of new products, and contemplating the tenability of daily juicing. It’s always a woman. Brands mentioned: Perfect Amino, Magic Mind, HigherDOSE, Charlotte Tilbury, Caraway, Pendulum Begging for: NIRA Pro Anti-Aging Laser, Hurom, OneSkin, Aesop Sublime Replenishing Night Masque & Blue Chamomile Facial Hydrating Masque, and a reup of Dr. Diamond and LYMA serum and cream See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Attacking the face with hydrafacials and the velvety sleep that can only come from action thrillers. Jacqueline naps like a soldier and Kate waits for two açai bowls that never come. The wide flavor of banana is recalled, while a gentle beat causes confusion. Sitting side-by-side at Jar... something is different about the lychee-tini. How did the nose not hit the door? Practicing astral projection and preparing for a work meeting while on a work call. When’s the last time you had cherry garcia? ‘We have to leave in 30 minutes’ = ‘We don’t have to leave now’. No one has to be worried for Kate Berlant. Meat Festival is on the third Saturday of every month. Brands mentioned: HigherDose, Charlotte Tilbury, OGEE, Lyma, Siete, Soom, Magic Mind Edited and mixed by Allie Graham. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lying in repose and sailing through the air. Preparing for the bleed and the implications of resetting a room. Are oysters just vessels for vinegar? Woman's Stomach Swells, Chris is sent out for Diet Coke. Pump it out, or get it out! The JAR menu is studied ahead of a monumental dinner. All according to plan... Kate is an Academy Awards Attendee and Jacqueline is calling Banana Republic. Lifting weights while watching the Bachelor, and dreams that held paradigms that could not follow through to conscious life. Shoes for who you are, shoes for who you want to be... I can’t live like this! The POOG water bottle is large and of high quality—don’t doubt our merch. Brands mentioned: Magic Mind, Fatty15. Hatch, Lyma, Banana Republic & Marion Parke Edited by Adam Wand; Produced by Allie Graham. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Strutting down Sunset Boulevard drinking the juice of another store. A cradle on wheels and baskets that don't fit cause confusion. Refusing the culture of weekend vs weekday and watching The Bachelor as sport. Skinny Nation rise up? Oprah will not be ridiculed for loving Ozempic. Tales of Wellbutrin Girl and the CVS coupon system. He’s not acting, but what a performance! Dreams of lychee martinis and whether or not to acknowledge spit on the cornea. Kate’s reason for a lifetime of no up-dos silences Jacqueline. Bifurcate and see inside. Brands mentioned: Vegamour, Chanel, Erewhon, Dr. Diamond, Lyma, OneSkin and Soom Tahini Edited and mixed by Allie Graham. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

All dogs are puppies and all cats are kittens. You have to sit with dignity to meditate. The question of the retinol bump and when to judge the day. Who cares if years lie fallow? Kate calls a club a spade, and Jacqueline offers the idiot take of an outsider. Could they put on a magic show to save their lives? Maybe it’s time for Movie POOG… That’s Greg, for ya! Brands mentioned: Dieux Skin, Lyma, Celsius, The Ludlow Hotel, Pat McGrath, Armani Edited and mixed by Allie Graham. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

One week you’re gorgeous…the next week? You’re hideous. Waking up to pee and Shark Tank raw to the dome. ADD 2.0 was heard in full on the road. Blinds shut, curtains closed, not even looking at the view. Jacqueline believed the hours — of course she did! Kate had a day of huge euphoria and has never been more dehydrated. $83 dresses and the detail of 6:30 at night are discussed. Theatre doesn’t pay, and Jacqueline shows off a bruise from escaping an escalator. The beautiful sign of death and dumping it all out onto the floor. A strange moment when Kate drives by Jacqueline’s house…but doesn’t go in. What have we lost to goofy graphics? Top to bottom, Kate had taken the note. Discussed: Saie Beauty, Burrow, Hatch, PAIGE Denim and Free People Movement. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The body just wants yesterday, again. A stranger's office. Kate became the awareness. Jacqueline remembers the crystal shops. To ask, will that ever be me again? Holding the jade egg. Sensing what aisle to turn down. Imagine knowing dawn & yearning for a pendant. You know what it's not? A fucking migraine. The new guy is not the son. Are we fighting wildly, violently, and against our own best interest? Edited and mixed by Allie Graham. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hypersomnia, sleep studies. Vitamin Water. Felicity. Giving birth on your back and dying on your back. Squatty Potty, snail venom. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The hags discuss flossing, taxes, and the confusion of natural deodorant. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Look, folks. Kate’s in the midst of the final week of her sold out KATE run at the Pasadena Playhouse. Jacqueline’s doing rabid press for the Get on Your Knees premiere. So a remix is on offer. The theme is the road to GOYK, featuring Poog clips from the show’s touring days, the countdown to the taping aka the “wedding” and Jacqueline and Kate's reflections from the stage. Get pumped and then go watch Get on Your Knees on @netflixisajoke. Can Hag nation send the special to number 1? Edited by Allie Graham. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is the first thought best? Escrow and group munchausen by proxy. It’s radical, punk and brave to go anywhere alone. Somatic anger at the baby. Maps of restaurants and performing noticing. Kate is not Mariah Carey. Jacqueline is not interested in learning what a pilot light is. The apple doesn’t fall far, does it? Never be afraid to approach. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I could go all night with you two. Six Feet Under. To see a twin without their twin… the vanity suddenly looked beautiful. Good girl syndrome and defending The Ritz like she built it. Don’t blow my brother! National Chair Day? Priceless. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A case of diagonal interlopers. Ma’am, when you’re done on your phone, I’d like to get my coffee. Do not underestimate the stress of anything. AstraZeneca? Again, Kate was happy to pay… and a little tipsy off two margs. Jacqueline got a separate check and the pork belly skewers were not a main. First in line? We cannot accommodate you. Her bullshit is a dream. Edited and mixed by Allie Graham. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Moments from The Road to Christmas' stops in Philly and Vancouver: Is there a woman in the room? Woah, woah, WOAH! The Blair Witch Project and other found footage. First guest and first sneeze. Pilots are poets. One has to suffer. Put on lipstick during turbulence. Kate insists it was turndown. The choreography of survival. Edited and mixed by Allie Graham. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week's episode is a re-airing of a Poog classic: The hags reflect on singing—its dangers, its thrills. The uncanny valley. Kate fears mold. Jacqueline soothes her, while struggling with restless legs. The act of playing games is touched upon. Interstellar must be watched—they set up next week's episode as being Poogsteller. Sleeping positions are discussed. Jacqueline seeks Boston recommendations. The horror of a houseguest is explored, specifically sharing a bed. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week's episode is a re-airing of a Poog classic: Yesterday Kate soared on Matcha while Jacqueline threw her book. When will she learn things are real? A stool test is on the horizon. Tropes we cannot escape. Is matcha the answer again? We find out that “Jackie” takes the cup home. It was glucose the whole time. Kate wants a juicer. Jacqueline has a theory about Jewel and Little Women. Widowers and cryo-bins. Never speak to a woman about her art. Unsolved Mysteries. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.