My Momma Told Me

Actor Brett Gray (On My Block, I'm a Virgo, and The Chi) drops by to prove once and for all that robots are racist and no technology is safe. Cellphones, hand dryers, and of course AI...Gray doesn't just ask if they're racist; he wants to know how racist. Are they colorist, too? Langston and David recount the Disney classic sports movies, shout out to Cool Runnings, and beg the little mommas to stop threatening to take their microphones away. Plus, a caller wonders if Ghost Writer was a runaway slave who died a grisly death. CALL US & LEAVE A MESSAGE! 844-LIL-MOMS aka 844-545-6667 SEND US YOUR BLACK CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND DROPS TO: mymommapod@gmail.com JOIN OUR PATREON FOR MORE CONSPIRACIES https://www.patreon.com/mymommatoldme LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1wMf8iYG-imuTwqje2PNg TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@mymommatoldmepod?lang=en MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit https://mymommatoldme.merchtable.com/ FOLLOW LANGSTON KERMAN ON ALL PLATFORMS: @langstonkerman FOLLOW DAVID GBORIE ON INSTAGRAM: @coolguyjokes87 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Langston and David are joined by former UCLA basketball player, NBA Twitter meme king, and podcast host Josiah Johnson. They talk about the 1985 first official draft lottery. Was it rigged or not? And we learn that the 2009 Western Conference Finals were the greatest time of David’s life. The Nuggets were fun during that time, Barack Obama was president, and Michael Jackson just passed: the holy trinity for David's comedy career. Plus, a hot take, they definitely stole some of Jackie Chan's moves for Tom Cruise in Mission: Impossible. SEND US YOUR BLACK CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND DROPS TO: mymommapod@gmail.com LEAVE US A VOICE MESSAGE AT 844-LIL-MOMS (844-545-6667) LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1wMf8iYG-imuTwqje2PNg TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@mymommatoldmepod?lang=en MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit https://mymommatoldme.merchtable.com/ FOLLOW LANGSTON KERMAN ON ALL PLATFORMS: @langstonkerman FOLLOW DAVID GBORIE ON INSTAGRAM: @coolguyjokes87 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Legendary stand-up comedian Ali Siddiq arrives with a first hand lesson on the history of hip-hop, asking the most important questions like: why is the south still getting disrespected, why haven't we seen Tyreese Gibson with hair, when will the US government suspend Juvenille's taxes and show that man some appreciation for his services? Plus, is fighting embarrassing? Why do parents want to talk through the spanking? Whose COVID was most valid? And a caller wonders if the devil made women. CALL US & LEAVE A MESSAGE! 844-LIL-MOMS aka 844-545-6667 SEND US YOUR BLACK CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND DROPS TO: mymommapod@gmail.com JOIN OUR PATREON FOR MORE CONSPIRACIES https://www.patreon.com/mymommatoldme LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1wMf8iYG-imuTwqje2PNg TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@mymommatoldmepod?lang=en MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit https://mymommatoldme.merchtable.com/ FOLLOW LANGSTON KERMAN ON ALL PLATFORMS: @langstonkerman FOLLOW DAVID GBORIE ON INSTAGRAM: @coolguyjokes87 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The hilarious Dulce Sloan returns to the pod and brings the boiling, flavorless conspiracy theory that white people can't cook. That crockpot lifestyle is just begging for salmonella soup. Langston and David exalt the brilliance of mathematician Terrance Howard, clown Dulce for trying to pick up a guy in the hallway, and one brave caller asks the question we've all been asking, "What color was Michael Jackson's penis?" CALL US & LEAVE A MESSAGE! 844-LIL-MOMS aka 844-545-6667 SEND US YOUR BLACK CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND DROPS TO: mymommapod@gmail.com JOIN OUR PATREON FOR MORE CONSPIRACIES https://www.patreon.com/mymommatoldme LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1wMf8iYG-imuTwqje2PNg TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@mymommatoldmepod?lang=en MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit https://mymommatoldme.merchtable.com/ FOLLOW LANGSTON KERMAN ON ALL PLATFORMS: @langstonkerman FOLLOW DAVID GBORIE ON INSTAGRAM: @coolguyjokes87 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Langston and David open up with updates: Gborie's latest purchase, Mexican markets selling African goods, Langston disowning his last name...the episode zigs and zags, just keep up Lil' Mommas! They make a declarative statement that sheds light on the spectacle/illness that has fallen on America: Love Island. Lastly, the guys answer listener voicemails about burnt hotdogs, hairy nether regions, ICE, and light-to-dark skin gradient scale. SEND US YOUR BLACK CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND DROPS TO: mymommapod@gmail.com LEAVE US A VOICE MESSAGE AT 844-LIL-MOMS (844-545-6667) LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1wMf8iYG-imuTwqje2PNg TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@mymommatoldmepod?lang=en MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit https://mymommatoldme.merchtable.com/ FOLLOW LANGSTON KERMAN ON ALL PLATFORMS: @langstonkerman FOLLOW DAVID GBORIE ON INSTAGRAM: @coolguyjokes87 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Gary Anthony Williams, the voice of Uncle Ruckus dooesn't believe in conspiracy theories, but he does believe in witches. In this episode, he discusses the connection between rappers and the pink mafia, what it's like to have dinner with Erykah Badu, the one piece of advice he got from Billy Dee Williams, and his forthcoming novel 'What I Learned Drinking with White Women'. David and Langston share their fear of running out of sex. More white women should sing like they're running out of breath. Shout out, Alanis Morissette. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Langston and David discuss whether white people listen to flat back music or do Black people just like the music they don’t like? They also answer a voicemail about how unattractive white women are dangerous. SEND US YOUR BLACK CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND DROPS TO: mymommapod@gmail.com LEAVE US A VOICE MESSAGE AT 844-LIL-MOMS (844-545-6667) LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1wMf8iYG-imuTwqje2PNg TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@mymommatoldmepod?lang=en MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit https://mymommatoldme.merchtable.com/ FOLLOW LANGSTON KERMAN ON ALL PLATFORMS: @langstonkerman FOLLOW DAVID GBORIE ON INSTAGRAM: @coolguyjokes87 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is throwing away a plastic bag anti-Black? How many platic's bag worth of plastic bags should a person keep in their home? Comedian Clark Jones guides us on a toray into the shady side of porn sites with his conspiracy that PornHub takes photos of users while they scroll. Is there a database of o-faces? Is Fat Joe a better podcaster than he is a rapper? We ponder these deep questions, plus Langston gives us a proper definition of gooning, and David regales us with his harrowing tales on BART. In this house, we respect our laptops. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Langston and David answer a listener's voicemail about finding human DNA in packaged hotdogs. Plus, can we give props to Ja Rule? CALL US & LEAVE A MESSAGE! 844-LIL-MOMS aka 844-545-6667 SEND US YOUR BLACK CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND DROPS TO: mymommapod@gmail.com LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1wMf8iYG-imuTwqje2PNg TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@mymommatoldmepod?lang=en MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit https://mymommatoldme.merchtable.com/ FOLLOW LANGSTON KERMAN ON ALL PLATFORMS: @langstonkerman FOLLOW DAVID GBORIE ON INSTAGRAM: @coolguyjokes87 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Our first triple appearance, comedian Yassir Lester, makes his triumphant return to My Momma Told Me. He brought not one but two incredible conspiracies. Can dogs sense racism? Is Trump trying to segregate the school? Plus, what do we all have in common with Lil Rel? Should you marry a throat goat? Is a white pittbull owner the closest to a Black person? David tells us about his miracle hair-growing cat, and Langston describes hell as Jingle Bell Rock. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Are pigeons surveillance cameras? Langston and David sit in studio with SushiboyMEXICO (Denial Is A River Show) about this intriguing conspiracy theory. Are pigeons just out there spying on our whereabouts? Are their insides just a bunch of wires and chips? Where are the baby pigeons? We ask more questions about this bird and how it has shown up in many parts of the media (we're looking at you, Hey Arnold!). Plus, more discussions of robot p*ssies occur in this episode. CALL US & LEAVE A MESSAGE! 844-LIL-MOMS aka 844-545-6667 SEND US YOUR BLACK CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND DROPS TO: mymommapod@gmail.com LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1wMf8iYG-imuTwqje2PNg TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@mymommatoldmepod?lang=en MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit https://mymommatoldme.merchtable.com/ FOLLOW LANGSTON KERMAN ON ALL PLATFORMS: @langstonkerman FOLLOW DAVID GBORIE ON INSTAGRAM: @coolguyjokes87 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Comedian Keon Polee had a conspiracy theory, but damnit we're not going to let that get in the way of a good conversation. Keon had us asking the big questions: Whose fault is it if the baby turns out subpar? How do you know if your nut is trash? Did white people ruin accents? Langston's never written a funny poem, and David is just trying to have fun with his wife. We get nostalgic for 90s stunt comedy. Bring dummies back! Plus, we take a call from a super tall caller. CALL US & LEAVE A MESSAGE! 844-LIL-MOMS aka 844-545-6667 SEND US YOUR BLACK CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND DROPS TO: mymommapod@gmail.com LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1wMf8iYG-imuTwqje2PNg TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@mymommatoldmepod?lang=en MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit https://mymommatoldme.merchtable.com/ FOLLOW LANGSTON KERMAN ON ALL PLATFORMS: @langstonkerman FOLLOW DAVID GBORIE ON INSTAGRAM: @coolguyjokes87 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Shapel Lacey stuck around to take a voicemail, and wow, is it crazy. A two-parter; our mystery caller asks us to do a dramatic reading of Kevin Durant's viral BlackPlanet page and to explore what a hotep church could look like in the right hands. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Comedian Shapel Lacey brings a doozy of a conspiracy to Langston and David. Did Sony kill Michael Jackson? We all pray differently, and yes, we are the heroes of this story. One thing we know for sure, Africa won't get its due until we make new maps. Should we have empathy for Joe Jackson? The entire Jackson family? Even Jermain? Really?? Jermain!? We know Michael was competitive, but how far is too far? Join us as we try to figure out which line in Bad was meant to cut deepest. CALL US & LEAVE A MESSAGE! 844-LIL-MOMS aka 844-545-6667 SEND US YOUR BLACK CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND DROPS TO: mymommapod@gmail.com LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1wMf8iYG-imuTwqje2PNg TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@mymommatoldmepod?lang=en MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit https://mymommatoldme.merchtable.com/ FOLLOW LANGSTON KERMAN ON ALL PLATFORMS: @langstonkerman FOLLOW DAVID GBORIE ON INSTAGRAM: @coolguyjokes87 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Does eating black-eyed peas on New Year's Eve bring you good fortune? Langston and David welcome drag superstar Monét X Change (Winner of RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars S4) to discuss this very popular superstition. Why do we cook these legumes? Does this tradition bring good fortune? Also, is a tomato a berry? Of course, we dive into the history of this conspiracy and learn a lot of things along the way: Britney Spears' reggae jam, how to properly eat mangoes, and more importantly...that we're all lucky to be at a Cheesecake Factory. CALL US & LEAVE A MESSAGE! 844-LIL-MOMS aka 844-545-6667 SEND US YOUR BLACK CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND DROPS TO: mymommapod@gmail.com LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1wMf8iYG-imuTwqje2PNg TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@mymommatoldmepod?lang=en MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit https://mymommatoldme.merchtable.com/ FOLLOW LANGSTON KERMAN ON ALL PLATFORMS: @langstonkerman FOLLOW DAVID GBORIE ON INSTAGRAM: @coolguyjokes87 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Can a snake come up the toilet and bite you? Langston and David discuss this disturbing conspiracy theory from a listener's emails. Why do snakes want to bite your genitals? Is this a common incident? Why are Lil' Mommas hitting on David thru DMs? They discuss Paul Pierce's rock bottom and accidentally sh*tting their pants at a Safeway. This might be the grossest episode to date on MMTM, but we already know you're listening to this podcast in the bathroom. FOLLOW + SUBSCRIBE ON ALL PLATFORMS FOR ALL HILARIOUS AND PROBLEMATIC TALKS: INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1wMf8iYG-imuTwqje2PNg TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@mymommatoldmepod?lang=en MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit mymommatoldme.merchcentral.com Bye, bitch! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is Santa an elf, and if he's not, is he getting freaky with an elf Ms. Claus? Could Kwanzaa work if it weren't competing with Christmas? Why are there two movies called Jack Frost? Would Santa spit in your eye? David and Legston dive deep into your holiday conspiracies. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For years, David and Langston have asked the questions that plague America: Is there a war on Christmas? Is Kwanzaa for Gen Alpha? Are there any Black holidays left? This year, we revisit three classic My Momma Told Me episodes to get some answers, and Al Jackson stops by to help us get to the bottom of it. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Here's another holiday special! Langston and David answer a listener's email about people becoming Jehovah’s Witnesses to scam their way out of Christmas and birthday gifts See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today, David and Langston are joined by rap superstar Rico Nasty, who brings a theory about the power behind a large hat. We're talking joint birthday trips with mom, Super Soaker pee comedy theory, crazy stories from our childhoods, and we discover the origins of Rico Nasty's name. David attempts to tame the sea. Then we look into Rico Nasty's Google search and contemplate whether or not fine people are dull and illiterate. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.