The Black Mother Wound Podcast

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic. Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask. *************************************** How we can stay connected and work together! 1. Grab my free mini-course 2. Work with me one-on-one 3. Join RESOLVE Evolved Today *************************************** “Keeping the peace isn’t peace. It is self-erasure.” For many people healing the mother wound, peacekeeping became a survival skill. It meant staying small, agreeable, and easy so no one else exploded. It worked when we were young, but in adulthood it begins to feel like disappearing. Oversharing often comes from the same place: giving too much in hopes of being seen or accepted, mistaking exposure for connection. The shift begins with honest noticing. Before explaining, pleasing, or revealing too much, we pause and ask, “What am I hoping to get right now?” This small moment interrupts old survival habits and teaches our inner child that safety is not earned through performance. With practice, boundaries take the place of peacekeeping, discernment replaces oversharing, and clarity softens guilt. Healing becomes less about controlling how others feel and more about refusing to abandon ourselves. Slowly, peace stops being something we manage for others and becomes something we build within. In this episode, I’m answering listener questions about oversharing, keeping the peace, and identity. We talk about oversharing as a form of seeking approval, how “peacekeeping” leads to self-abandonment, and why guilt shows up when you stop managing other people’s emotions. If you’re tired of performing or pleasing just to feel accepted, this episode breaks down what choosing yourself really looks like. Topics Covered: 00:00:00 – Episode Snippet: “Who is the peace for?” 00:00:12 – Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast 00:01:32 – Q #1: Is oversharing during healing a sign of seeking validation? 00:03:53 – Oversharing is a form of self-abandonment 00:05:58 – Compulsion, fear, and lack of internal safety 00:07:19 – Q #2: How do I stop keeping the peace and choose myself? 00:09:44 – Knowing your needs before the moment 00:11:21 – Protecting your inner child with real boundaries 00:13:09 – Q #3: Am I acting from authenticity or guilt? 00:14:03 – The habit of performing instead of being 00:15:14 – Authenticity requires self-prioritization 00:17:03 – Building a new sense of safety Key Takeaways: “Any oversharing is you seeking validation. It is giving something that people didn’t earn.” “Prostitution is any exchange of who you are to get something in return.” “Have integrity with yourself to be honest about what it is that I’m looking to get from these people and what I am afraid of.” DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived Support the show Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic. Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask. *************************************** How we can stay connected and work together! 1. Grab my free mini-course 2. Work with me one-on-one 3. Join RESOLVE Evolved Today *************************************** “Grief doesn’t disappear when it’s ignored. It waits.” Healing often begins in a softer place than we expect. It starts when we stop pushing our sadness away and allow ourselves to notice it without judgment. Avoiding grief can feel like survival, but it keeps us stuck. When we give our emotions space instead of rushing them or explaining them away, they begin to move. What once felt overwhelming starts to feel more understandable, more human. Over time, this gentler way of being with ourselves changes things. As we practice meeting our feelings with care and patience, loneliness begins to loosen its hold. Not because the past no longer matters, but because we’re no longer facing it alone. Healing becomes less about fixing what was broken and more about learning how to hold ourselves with kindness, even in the midst of what still hurts. In this episode, I’m answering your questions about grief, loneliness, and feeling emotionally stuck while healing the mother wound. We talk about why avoiding sadness keeps you stuck, how to create safety for your emotions, and what it means to actually let feelings move through your body. We also discuss estrangement from toxic family systems, releasing guilt, building family of choice, and why support is essential when healing feels overwhelming. If you’re ready to stop carrying this alone and start creating a life that feels lighter and more grounded, this episode is for you. Topics Covered: 00:00 — Episode Snippet 00:21 — Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast 02:33 — Q #1: How do you get unstuck from sadness and loneliness? 04:28 — Allow emotions instead of managing them away 06:31 — Using daily basics to create safety in your body and environment 09:07 — Why patience with yourself is essential for healing 11:24 — Q #2: Coping with grief after distancing from toxic family systems 12:53 — The grief of being the cycle breaker in your family 15:11 — Q #3: Do thoughts of self-harm still come up? 16:23 — Why believing you don’t matter is a trauma response 19:16 — Expanding support beyond the podcast and online spaces 21:03 — Being in “hell on earth” 23:14 — The pendulum metaphor 24:36 — Gratitude for the community and shared growth DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience. Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound Support the show Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic. Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask. *************************************** How we can stay connected and work together! 1. Grab my free mini-course 2. Work with me one-on-one 3. Join RESOLVE Evolved Today *************************************** “Self-love becomes harmful when it’s only offered in short bursts.” Self-worth and love often feel out of reach when we grow up learning that our value depends on what we do or how others see us. For many, especially those with mothers who couldn’t give the care we needed, worth was something to earn, not something we simply had. That leaves a gap that can follow us for years, shaping how we see ourselves and how we let others treat us. Healing doesn’t mean undoing the past, it means seeing it clearly. It means noticing the ways we’ve been taught to perform for approval, to measure ourselves by achievement, and to accept less than we deserve. It means recognizing the loss without letting it define us. Even when we grieve what we didn’t get, there is power in facing it, naming it, and understanding it. In this episode, I’m answering your questions about self-worth, confidence, and learning how to love yourself after growing up with an emotionally immature mother. We talk about self love-bombing, performing for approval, and why building worth often means starting from scratch. We also get into inner-child reparenting, affirming yourself through consistent actions, and making peace with grief tied to the mother wound. If you’re ready to stop proving your worth and start treating yourself like you matter, this episode is for you. Topics Covered: (00:00:00) Episode Snippet (00:00:16) Welcome to the Black Mother Wound Podcast (00:01:15) Questioning who you actually owe your energy to (00:02:42) Q#1How do I rebuild my sense of worth when my mother only praises me now? (00:06:39) Acknowledging yourself outside of productivity (00:09:53) Small wins as proof of worth (00:10:38) Being gentler with yourself after mistakes (00:12:41) Q#2: How do I learn what love feels like at 64 when I've only known heartbreak? (00:13:31) Why self-love must continue (00:15:11) Self-abandonment is self-inflicted love bombing (00:16:37) Distancing from non-affirming people (00:21:05) Actions over affirmations (00:22:39) Q#3: Do you ever feel remorse about the time lost to your mother wound? (00:25:11) Letting go of “fairness” (00:27:12) Accepting loss and moving forward DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience. Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound Support the show Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic. Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask. *************************************** How we can stay connected and work together! 1. Grab my free mini-course 2. Work with me one-on-one 3. Join RESOLVE Evolved Today *************************************** "Sometimes the voice you fear the most is the one you carry inside yourself." It is the echo of criticism, impatience, or harshness that once shaped your earliest days. Many people don’t notice it until they hear that voice in their own words, in their reactions, or in the way they judge themselves. The patterns you vowed never to repeat can creep in quietly, showing up as control, overworking, or self-sacrifice. These are survival strategies learned in the absence of safety, not signs of failure, yet they can quietly repeat the harm you once endured. Healing begins with noticing. Every moment of frustration, every urge to overcorrect or withdraw, is a clue pointing back to the inner child who was never fully seen or protected. Slowing down, listening, and learning to respond with care to that child is how the cycle begins to break. In this episode, I’m answering your questions about inner child healing, emotional identity, and why the patterns you’re trying to break keep showing up. As we close out the year, we talk about celebrating your wins, learning what real love actually feels like, and what happens when you ignore the mother wound and end up abandoning yourself. We get into re-parenting the inner little girl, unlearning harsh behaviors, and releasing overworking and self-sacrifice as proof of worth. If you’re ready to stop living in survival mode and start choosing yourself, this one matters. Topics Covered: (00:00:00) Episode Snippet (00:00:13) Welcome to the Black Mother Wound Podcast (00:00:52) Celebrating personal wins (00:04:57) Q1: How does ignoring the mother wound lead to self-abandonment? (00:07:05) Q2: How do you teach yourself love if you have never experienced it? (00:09:14) True love is safety (00:10:55) Q3: How do you stop behaving like your mother in your marriage? (00:14:13) Behavior is the fruit, not the root (00:14:32) Q4: How do you stop repeating patterns of overworking and self-sacrifice? (00:19:58) Your situation is not unique (00:21:03) Releasing shame and reframing healing as skill-building DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience. Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound Support the show Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic. Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask. *************************************** How we can stay connected and work together! 1. Grab my free mini-course 2. Work with me one-on-one 3. Join RESOLVE Evolved *************************************** Home is supposed to be a place of safety, love, and comfort. But for many, it can feel like the opposite. Living with constant criticism, emotional pressure, or dismissive behavior can leave a deep, invisible wound. Every day becomes walking on eggshells. You may love your family, but that love doesn’t erase the tension or the ways your boundaries are ignored. Trying to be the “good daughter” often comes at the cost of your confidence, peace, and emotional health. The hardest truth is this: no matter how much you try to explain or reason, you cannot make someone else change. Healing feels impossible when the source of pain is always present. Your home should nurture you, but when it doesn’t, it forces you to confront the gap between the life you have and the safety you deserve. In this episode, I break down one of the most common questions I get: How do you heal when you still live at home with the very mother who’s hurting you? As we close out the year, I’m answering your real, raw questions about unsafe homes, criticism, grief, and trying to build a future while your past is still sitting in the next room. We talk about safety, autonomy, community, and the honest truth about what it actually takes to protect your peace and plan your way out. If you’re stuck in a house that drains you, this one matters. Topics Covered: (00:00:00) Episode Snippet (00:00:19) Welcome to the Black Mother Wound Podcast (00:04:26) Q1: How can you heal when your environment is unhealthy? (00:05:40) Establish internal safety (00:07:09) Rebuilding trust in yourself and cultivating physical spaces (00:10:41) Q2: Should you show compassion to your abusive mother? (00:12:35) Q3: Processing grief while estranged and still living at home (00:14:06) There’s no autonomy when you live with your abuser (00:16:31) Q4: How do I deal with my mother’s constant criticism and emotional pressure while preparing to move out? (00:17:19) Limit your presence and practice silence as a boundary (00:21:03) Q5: How do I heal the mother wound while being my mother’s full-time caregiver? (00:24:01) Release the need to be seen as “a good daughter” (00:26:15) Be honest about what you can give (00:27:28) Create a life outside the home (00:28:45) The false sense of care DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience. Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound Support the show Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic. Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask. *************************************** How we can stay connected and work together! 1. Grab my free mini-course 2. Work with me one-on-one 3. Join RESOLVE On-Demand Today *************************************** Letting go of guilt after going no contact with a mother begins with understanding that the guilt is not truly yours, it’s rooted in codependency and enmeshment. Often, we feel responsible for someone else’s happiness or think we owe our mothers for what they gave us, even when that “giving” came with emotional harm. True freedom comes when you redefine how you deserve to be treated. Going no contact is the first step, like stopping the bleeding, but real healing happens when you turn your attention inward. Establish safety with yourself, learn to care for your needs, trust your intuition, and set clear boundaries. As you practice self-respect and autonomy, the guilt fades. It’s not about forgiving or fixing your mother, it’s about reclaiming your life and cultivating a healthy, loving relationship with yourself. In this episode, I answer your questions about estrangement, guilt, and healing from difficult mother-daughter relationships. We explore how to let go of guilt after going no contact, handle manipulation, and process grief when a mother has passed. Healing your mother wound isn’t about your mom, it’s about reclaiming your autonomy, setting boundaries, and creating a loving, supportive relationship with yourself. "If you let go of somebody who doesn't treat you well, you're going to have to establish a new baseline of how you're treated." – Jennifer Arnise Topics Covered: (00:00:00) Episode Snippet (00:00:17) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast (00:04:31) Question 1: Letting go of guilt and worry after going no contact (00:06:37) No contact isn’t the final step (00:09:19) Question 2: What to do about a mother who manipulates you (00:10:29) The desire to keep her happy (00:12:33) Question 3: Healing after a traumatic relationship with a mother who has passed (00:14:29) Why healing is about your autonomy (15:22) The false sense of “debt” in traditional Black parenting (17:08) Challenging the logic behind abusive dynamics (19:25) Shifting how you see yourself (21:00) The truth about going no contact (23:17) No contact helping establish autonomy (25:14) How history shaped Black parenting patterns (27:04) You still have to do the work Key Takeaways: "Letting go of guilt and worry, no matter what the reason is, is the same." "Shame and isolation has taught you that no one has gone through what you've gone through." DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience. Connect on Instagr Support the show Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic. Join the waitlist for Resolve Live: Evolved — a real-time healing experience built to help you stop repeating the same patterns. We start December 7th. Don’t step into 2026 on the same energy from 2025. Get on the list and get ready for real change. *************************************** How we can stay connected and work together! 1. Grab my free mini-course 2. Work with me one-on-one 3. Join RESOLVE On-Demand Today *************************************** "How can you continue your healing while staying connected to a mother who hurt you, just so your child can know the love of a grandmother?" Wanting your child to have a relationship with their grandmother is natural, but when that grandmother causes you pain, it becomes complicated. Holding onto the hope that your child can get what you didn’t may feel healing, but it can put them in the middle of adult wounds they cannot handle. True love for your child is about protecting their emotional safety. It means letting go of fantasies, setting boundaries, and creating a circle of care built on authenticity and respect. Your child doesn’t need a perfect family to feel loved. They need a parent who sees them, values them, and models what healthy love looks like. By doing this, you break the cycle and give your child something far greater than a relationship with a grandmother. You give them a foundation of real love and self-worth.In this episode, we explore the challenge of keeping a grandmother in your child’s life, even when that relationship has hurt you. I share why holding onto the fantasy of a “perfect family” can keep old wounds open and affect your child. We also discuss setting boundaries, creating emotional safety, and letting go of guilt around “missing grandparents” to break the cycle. Tune in to learn how to protect your children, honor your healing, and redefine what family really means. Topics Covered: (00:00:00) Episode Snippet (00:00:15) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast (00:03:51) Healing while your child maintains a relationship with grandma (00:07:04) The fantasy of the “perfect mother (00:10:04) Hoping your mother will change through your kids (00:16:06) The cost of the fantasy (00:20:15) The illusion of “cute phases” with grandparents (00:22:25) Choosing your child’s family intentionally (00:24:11) Don’t assign authority to harmful adults (00:27:16) Letting go of the fantasy of a fairytale family (00:29:13) Stop projecting your fears onto your children (00:31:08) Kids don’t necessarily need grandparents (00:32:00) Come late and leave early DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience. Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound Support the show Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic. Join the waitlist for Resolve Live: Evolved — a real-time healing experience built to help you stop repeating the same patterns. We start December 7th. Don’t step into 2026 on the same energy from 2025. Get on the list and get ready for real change. *************************************** How we can stay connected and work together! 1. Grab my free mini-course 2. Work with me one-on-one 3. Join RESOLVE On-Demand Today *************************************** Growing up with a mother who couldn’t see your potential or value leaves a mark you carry for years. You start believing that the version of yourself she approves of is the only “right” version, abandoning your true self just to feel loved. That early conditioning shapes your self-esteem, your choices, and how you show up in the world. Healing from this “mother wound” is about giving yourself the love and validation you didn’t get. It’s about creating a safe space for your inner child, embracing who you really are, and building your own foundation of worth. Even if she never saw you, you can see yourself, and that’s enough to start living your life on your own terms. In this episode of The Black Mother Wound Podcast, we explore what it means to grow up without a mother who truly sees you, and how that shapes your self-worth, choices, and sense of self. I share how re-parenting yourself and creating a safe space for your inner child can help you step into your authentic self, even when that validation wasn’t given to you. We also touch on taking the first steps toward healing, letting yourself be seen, and building the confidence to live life on your own terms. Topics Covered: (00:00:00) Episode Snippet (00:00:21) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast (00:01:48) Announcement: Resolve Evolved Live Program (00:03:20) Growing up unseen by your mother (00:06:14) The inner conflict between who you are and who she wanted you to be (00:08:16) How conditional love impacts your life choices (00:11:06) The cracked mirrors passed down (00:13:05) Re-parenting yourself with care (00:18:38) Healing is not a sprint (00:20:30) Create safety for your inner child (00:23:34) Expand your freedom and break restrictive patterns (00:25:25) Claiming authentic achievement based on your true self (00:28:34) Allowing your true self to shine Key Takeaways: "When you grow up with a mother who cannot see your innate value, you believe that you don't deserve certain things." "The mother wound is a generational wound." DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience. Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound Support the show Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic. Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask. *************************************** How we can stay connected and work together! 1. Grab my free mini-course 2. Work with me one-on-one 3. Join RESOLVE On-Demand Today *************************************** For so many Black women, we were taught, directly or indirectly, that our safety depended on keeping the peace, reading the room, and staying small. Our mothers, often emotionally unavailable and burdened by their own unhealed wounds, became the main characters of our lives. Their moods dictated our choices. Their validation determined our worth. And even as adults, many of us continue to live stories where we play supporting roles in someone else’s narrative. But it’s time to change the script. Main character energy isn’t about arrogance or self-absorption, it’s about reclaiming authorship over your own story. It’s remembering that you are not a prop in someone else’s life, nor a sidekick meant to highlight another person’s shine. You are the heroine of your own journey, and that role comes with authority, autonomy, and unapologetic self-trust. You can’t wait for permission. You can’t wait for the world to hand you the spotlight. You were born with it. So step into the center. It’s your story. It always has been. In this episode, I’ll talk about what it truly means to step into your main-character energy, especially for those of us who grew up centering everyone but ourselves. When you’ve been conditioned to make your mother, your partner, your friends, or even your job the main character in your story, reclaiming your own spotlight can feel foreign, even wrong. But it’s time to rewrite that script. We’ll unpack how shame, guilt, and the need for approval keep you playing the sidekick in your own life, and how expression, autonomy, and community help you take your rightful place at the center. Topics Covered: (00:00:00) Episode Snippet (00:00:16) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast (00:01:52) The Main Character Energy (00:03:15) When your mother is the main character (00:05:25) The cost of decentering yourself (00:07:50) How Jennifer used to take on a “sidekick” role (00:10:13) Defining main female character energy (00:12:51) Letting go of shame (00:14:04) Releasing guilt for wanting more (00:22:41) Finding like-minded community (00:25:11) Practicing main character energy (00:27:02) End the Sidekick Energy Key Takeaways: “When we decenter ourselves and we’re not the main character in our own life story, it turns us into the victim.” DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience. Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound Support the show Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic. Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask. *************************************** How we can stay connected and work together! 1. Grab my free mini-course 2. Work with me one-on-one 3. Join RESOLVE On-Demand Today *************************************** Many of us started wearing masks before we even knew what that meant. We learned to be “the good girl,” “the smart one,” or “the strong one.” We tried to fit in, stay safe, and be who others wanted us to be. But somewhere along the way, we lost touch with who we really are. Wearing a mask can make us feel protected, but it also keeps us from being seen. It’s tiring to always perform, to hide our real feelings, and to protect peace that was never truly ours. Taking off the mask is the first step toward freedom. It means being honest about how you feel and allowing yourself to show up fully. It is choosing truth over performance and peace over perfection. Healing begins when you stop pretending and start remembering who you are. And who you are has always been enough. In this episode, I get real about the survival strategy so many of us learned growing up in households where we didn’t always feel safe to be ourselves, MASKING. We’ll explore how masking shows up in your life as overgiving, perfectionism, people-pleasing, and codependency, and how it can keep you disconnected from your authentic self. You’ll learn how to spot your own patterns, understand their impact, and take steps to unmask safely. We talk about reconnecting with hidden parts of yourself, reclaiming your voice, and showing up fully without fear or performance. “You can’t really maintain happiness, joy, or love if you’re not being your authentic self.” – Jennifer Arnise Topics Covered: (00:00:00) Episode snippet (00:00:13) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast (00:02:16) How masking begins as a survival skill (00:05:35) The fear of being your true self (00:06:36) The three masks: good girl, smart girl, independent girl (00:11:07) Unmasking as a lifelong practice (00:13:27) The emotional toll of hiding yourself (00:16:32) Reconnecting with your inner little girl (00:18:20) When masking becomes emotional abuse (00:20:27) Mistaking assertiveness for authenticity (00:21:55) The role of community in unmasking Key Takeaways: "You are trying to protect your future peace, but it’s at your own demise." "Unmasking is how you come back and find her and give her a voice." "You can’t really maintain happiness or joy or love if you’re not being your authentic self." "Your unmasking is going to require you to throw the middle finger up at people." DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience. Connect on Instagram: Support the show Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic. Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask. *************************************** How we can stay connected and work together! 1. Grab my free mini-course 2. Work with me one-on-one 3. Join RESOLVE On-Demand Today *************************************** Many Black women are taught from an early age to endure pain without flinching. We’re told that strength is survival, that silence is grace, and that independence is our crown. But what if the very thing we were praised for is what’s keeping us from healing? Every time we swallow our pain, we lose a little more of ourselves. We get so used to showing up for everyone else that we stop showing up for our own hearts. We stay busy, productive, and dependable, all while our bodies whisper that we’re running on empty. The truth is, endurance isn’t the same as healing. Carrying pain doesn’t make us stronger, it makes us harder, more guarded, and disconnected from our softness. Healing starts when we stop glorifying struggle and begin to ask ourselves, “Why do I believe I have to hurt to prove my worth?” In this episode, I talk about the hidden cost of having a high emotional pain tolerance and how what we often call strength is actually rooted in survival. From growing up with emotionally unavailable mothers to staying too long in relationships that drain us, I unpack how we’ve been taught to normalize pain and silence our needs. Together, we explore how to stop glorifying endurance, begin honoring our emotions, and rebuild a sense of safety within ourselves through rest, boundaries, and gentle self-compassion. "You can be tender, you can be soft, you can be yourself and still let somebody know you’re not here to be played with." – Jennifer Arnise Topics Covered: (00:00:00) Episode Snippet (00:00:11) Welcome to the Black Mother Wound Podcast (00:03:39) High pain tolerance is a trauma response (00:06:05) Being “the strong one” keeps us from healing (00:08:04) Self-abandonment starts when we silence our needs (00:10:10) Believing love must be earned through suffering (00:13:00) How we ignore emotional pain and call it productivity (00:16:10) Healing starts with feeling safe (00:18:30) Real safety begins within (00:20:30) Honor your emotion (00:22:40) Pay attention to your physical needs (00:23:40) Set boundaries and ask for help (00:25:06) Feeling pain doesn’t mean you’re weak (00:27:00) New forms of strength: Softness, rest, and self-compassion Key Takeaways: "Your high tolerance for pain was created out of survival." "You are so hard on yourself. No patience with yourself. You use pain as a motivator. You use it as something to get the job done." DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience. Support the show Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic. Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask. *************************************** How we can stay connected and work together! 1. Grab my free mini-course 2. Work with me one-on-one 3. Join RESOLVE On-Demand Today *************************************** Somewhere along the way, many of us were taught that being dependable meant never changing. We were celebrated for our steadiness, for keeping things together, for being the ones others could count on. But no one told us that sometimes, the version of ourselves that everyone depends on is the one silently falling apart. We were praised for staying the course, even when that course was breaking our spirit. We were told that consistency made us good women, good daughters, and good mothers, even if that “goodness” demanded the quiet sacrifice of our joy. The courage to change your mind is the courage to reclaim your life. It’s a declaration that you no longer belong to other people’s expectations. It’s the start of a new chapter where peace matters more than appearances, and authenticity weighs more than approval. Because real strength isn’t found in how long you can endure, it’s found in how boldly you can evolve. In this episode of The Black Mother Wound Podcast, I talk about reclaiming the sacred right to shift, to outgrow, re-evaluate, and choose again without guilt or explanation. Together, we’ll unpack how early conditioning, religious expectations, and fear of punishment taught us to stay small and silent, even when our spirit was begging for something new. “We get mad when we give our power to someone else and then they mishandle it, when the whole time, it was only ours to hold.” – Jennifer Arnise Topics Covered: (00:00:00) Episode Snippet (00:00:11) Welcome to the Black Mother Wound Podcast (00:04:09) You have the right to change your mind (00:07:21) The cost of losing autonomy (00:10:20) Fear of making mistakes (00:11:13) Redefining irresponsibility (00:13:04) Autonomy and the mother wound connection (00:15:19) Learning to fall gracefully (00:17:04) Stop seeking approval (00:18:02) Get clear on what you really want (00:20:16) Create a safe space within (00:22:47) What does success look like for you? (00:24:20) Celebrate yourself (00:25:53) Train your inner girl (00:27:30) The power of safe community (00:28:19) Choose what’s true to you Key Takeaways: “You have a right to change your mind. Every woman has a right to change their mind.” “There’s a difference between knowing what you want and believing what you can have. Stop gaslighting yourself." DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience. Connect on Instagram: Support the show Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic. Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask. *************************************** How we can stay connected and work together! 1. Grab my free mini-course 2. Work with me one-on-one 3. Join RESOLVE On-Demand Today *************************************** Many of us have learned to explain ourselves because, at some point, it felt like survival. As children, we wanted to avoid rejection, abandonment, or punishment, so we reached for words to soften the blow or gain approval. That habit often follows us into adulthood, where explaining becomes second nature. But with every explanation, a quiet message slips through: Maybe I need permission to be myself. And over time, that can feel heavy, like you are carrying your life in someone else’s hands. You don’t have to live that way. You don’t need to justify your choices, your boundaries, or your presence. Your worth is not up for debate. It was never earned through explanations, and it cannot be taken away by silence. It is safe to pause. It is safe to say less. It is safe to remind your body, “We are okay. We are not in danger anymore.” Each time you do, you build trust with yourself. You show your inner child that she no longer has to hustle for approval. You are free to live without apology, to stand in your truth without explanation, and to know deep in your bones that you are already enough. In this episode of the Black Mother Wound podcast, I break down the habit of overexplaining and why it keeps you stuck in self-abandonment. We’ll explore how overexplaining ties back to fear of rejection, abandonment, and punishment, and how it strips you of your autonomy. You’ll learn four practical steps to stop overexplaining, how to set boundaries without apology, and the importance of aftercare so your nervous system feels safe as you step into your authority. Topics Covered: (00:00:00) Episode Snippet (00:00:54) Resolve on Demand course is live (00:05:15) Stop explaining yourself (00:08:26) Explaining yourself is a form of self-abandonment (00:11:49) The hard truth: no one is coming to save you (00:12:14) Explaining as manipulation and bullying (00:14:43) Step 1: Think before you respond (00:16:47) Step 2: Decide what is the best way to answer (00:17:52) Step 3: Don’t volunteer extra information (00:19:41) Step 4: Stop apologizing for your choices (00:21:16) Aftercare: regulating your nervous system (00:23:04) Shake out the energy (00:25:18) Nobody is the boss of you Key Takeaways: "When you spend time overexplaining, you are trying to control how others perceive you." "Get in alignment with your highest purpose, your highest joy, who you really are so you can have the life that you really want." DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experien Support the show Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic. Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask. *************************************** How we can stay connected and work together! 1. Grab my free mini-course 2. Work with me one-on-one 3. Join RESOLVE On-Demand Today *************************************** Many of us grow up searching for answers in the wrong places. Childhood disconnection, particularly from a mother, leaves a deep sense of longing and confusion. We fantasize about a fix, a solution, or some external force that will make life feel safe and whole. Many turn to spirituality, astrology, or crystals. While these tools can feel comforting, they sometimes become a way to escape our present reality rather than confront it. The problem is when we rely on them instead of taking action. We avoid setting boundaries, making choices, or handling responsibilities. Life doesn’t change, confidence stays low, and healing gets stuck. The solution is to combine spiritual practices with practical steps. Healing happens when we stay in our bodies, trust ourselves, and make intentional choices. Spirituality can guide us, but real change comes from taking action and claiming control of our own lives. In this episode of The Black Mother Wound Podcast, we talk about how spirituality can sometimes stall healing when it’s used to escape life instead of taking action. Learn how to pair spiritual practices with real-world steps to reclaim your power, strengthen boundaries, and become the ultimate authority in your life. True transformation comes from showing up for yourself, not waiting for a miracle. Topics Covered: (00:00:00) Episode Snippet (00:00:19) Welcome to the Black Mother Wound podcast (00:02:52) Getting away restores your mind and soul (00:07:19) Spirituality can actually block your healing if it’s an escape (00:09:53) “Why doesn’t my mama love me?” (00:14:15) 15 years deep in spirituality didn’t change my life (00:17:24) Knowing a lot doesn’t mean your life changes (00:20:02) Waiting for a rescue keeps you stuck (00:22:42) Spirituality should complement self-authority (00:25:19) Healing means staying in your body and making better choices (00:27:17) Mother wounds heal through real relationships, not rituals (00:28:05) You are in charge of your life (00:29:55) There’s no power greater than your own Key Takeaways: "Pair spirituality with practical actions." "There is no power greater than you in your life. There isn't any. There is nothing more powerful than the power you have over your own life." DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience. Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound Support the show Follow me on IG @blackmotherwound

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic. In this episode, Jennifer Arnise discusses the importance of feeling safe enough to be your true self. She emphasizes that safety is crucial for establishing authority in one's life and explores how fear-based parenting can lead to relinquishing personal authority. Jennifer encourages listeners to practice self-acceptance and authenticity, highlighting the need to reparent oneself and create internal safety. She urges individuals to unleash their true selves and establish their own power, rather than seeking validation from others. Takeaways Titles Sound Bites Chapters 00:00 Establishing Safety to Be Yourself 09:53 Unleashing Your True Self 15:03 The Journey to Self-Acceptance Support the show Follow me on IG @blackmotherwound

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic. How we can stay connected and work together! **Join RESOLVE On-Demand at www.resolvehealingintensive.com** In this episode of the Black Mother Wound podcast, Jennifer Arnise shares her personal journey of self-discovery and the importance of centering oneself in decision-making. Through the lens of a home improvement project, she reflects on the tendency to consider external opinions over personal preferences, emphasizing the need to build an internal gaze that prioritizes self-acceptance and empowerment. The conversation also touches on the impact of upbringing and societal expectations on personal choices, ultimately encouraging listeners to embrace their individuality and make decisions that resonate with their true selves. takeaways It's important to prioritize your own preferences over others' opinions. Decentering external validation is crucial for personal growth. Building an internal gaze helps in making confident decisions. Self-acceptance is a journey that requires practice. You can't please everyone, so focus on what makes you happy. Creating a personal space that reflects your identity is empowering. Healing the mother wound involves reclaiming your authority. Understanding who 'they' are can clarify your decision-making process. Making choices for yourself can feel uncomfortable but is necessary. Transformation in any area of life starts with self-awareness. titles Decentering External Opinions for Personal Growth Building an Internal Gaze: The Key to Self-Acceptance Sound Bites "You have to build your tolerance." "You can't make 100 theys happy." "Stop playing in your own fucking face." Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Setting the Scene 00:58 Personal Reflections on Decision Making 04:08 Decentering External Opinions 09:58 Building an Internal Gaze 13:55 Bathroom Transformation and Conclusion Support the show Follow me on IG @blackmotherwound

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic. Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask. *************************************** How we can stay connected and work together! 1. Join RESOLVE On-Demand at www.resolvehealingintensive.com In this episode of the Black Mother Wound podcast, Jennifer Arnise shares a personal story about a DIY home renovation gone wrong, leading to a flood in her bathroom. Through this experience, she reflects on the importance of community, asking for help, and overcoming the belief that one must handle everything alone. She emphasizes the growth that comes from vulnerability and the necessity of building connections with others for support. The conversation highlights the journey of healing from emotional wounds and the significance of recognizing one's worthiness of help and community. Takeaways Building community is essential for emotional support. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Mistakes can lead to unexpected blessings and growth. Vulnerability allows for deeper connections with others. Old beliefs about self-sufficiency can hinder personal growth. You deserve to be supported, regardless of past mistakes. Community can be found in unexpected places. Learning from others can enhance personal skills and knowledge. It's important to challenge the belief that you must do everything alone. Healing involves reprogramming negative beliefs about self-worth. Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Context 05:29 The Importance of Community and Asking for Help 17:28 Lessons from Mistakes and Growth 29:05 Building Connections and Overcoming Isolation Click here to learn more about my private coaching program. Support the show Follow me on IG @blackmotherwound

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic. Suggest Episode Topics Click here to ask. *************************************** How we can stay connected and work together! 1. Grab my free mini-course 2. Mother Wound Healing Course (On-Demand) 3. Work with me one-on-one Today, Jennifer dives into the sneaky ways we become the villain in our own stories—through resistance, limiting beliefs, and self-sabotage—and how to step back into alignment with our higher selves. You’ll hear personal reflections, real talk, and practical steps for recognizing resistance, counteracting it with evidence, and reclaiming your power to move forward with confidence. 👉 Special Offer: Jennifer’s Resolve Healing Intensive is now available On Demand for just $97 (with payment plan available). Access her full healing framework right now—no waiting, no relaunches. www.ResolveHealingIntensive.com ⏱️ Episode Chapters [00:00] Introduction: Welcome to the Black Mother Wound podcast. [02:15] Resolve On Demand: Jennifer introduces her course for healing the Black Mother Wound. [05:30] Nesting Phase: Jennifer discusses her current life changes and priorities. [10:45] Resistance Realization: A personal epiphany about internal resistance. [15:00] Identifying Resistance: How to recognize and question your own resistance. [20:30] The Role of Self-Love: Using self-love to combat limiting beliefs. [25:45] Evidence of Success: Counteracting resistance with past achievements. [30:00] Conclusion: Embracing change and moving forward with confidence. ✨ Takeaway: Resistance is not your truth—it’s programming. When you observe it, challenge it with evidence, and step back into alignment with your higher self, you stop being the villain in your own story. Click here to learn more about my private coaching program. Support the show Follow me on IG @blackmotherwound

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic. Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask. *************************************** How we can stay connected and work together! 1. Grab my free mini-course 2. Work with me one-on-one *************************************** Sometimes, it feels like everything has to get done perfectly, all at once. Often, we carry the heavy belief that if everything isn’t done just right, we won’t be loved or accepted. This pressure can drain us, pushing us to say yes when we want to say no, and to ignore our own needs to keep others happy. But this cycle only leads to exhaustion and emptiness. True healing begins when you give yourself permission to slow down and accept that it’s okay not to have everything figured out. It’s about setting boundaries and choosing what truly matters, then letting go of the rest without guilt or shame. When you start treating yourself with kindness and patience, you build a new relationship with yourself, one rooted in self-love and grace. Remember, healing isn’t about perfection. It’s about showing up for yourself with compassion, even on imperfect days. You deserve to feel loved and accepted, not because of what you do, but because of who you are. And when you truly believe that, your whole life begins to change. In this episode, I reflect on how my mother wound shaped my need to control everything and take on too much. Sharing insights from a recent girls trip, I talk about learning to accept my limits, set boundaries, and stop making everything a priority. Tune in to learn how embracing your limitations can create space for true healing, self-love, and healthier relationships with yourself and others. Topics Covered: (00:00:00) Episode Snippet (00:00:10) Welcome to the Black Mother Wound podcast (00:03:54) Feeling loved and expanding capacity for love (00:05:02) Mother wounds shape loneliness and relationships (00:07:46) Making emotional deposits into yourself (00:10:21) Healing changes self-worth and presence (00:13:00) Healing attracts healthier relationships (00:14:05) Accept your limits (00:16:26) Burnout from unrealistic priorities (00:21:13) It’s okay to shift priorities and say no (00:22:07) Reevaluate your timelines (00:24:20) Set boundaries and say no (00:26:03) Release resentment and regret (00:27:12) Prioritize with self-compassion, not fear (00:28:31) Everything can’t be a priority Key Takeaways: "People who try to do everything and make everything a priority generally have poor boundaries." "If you press yourself so hard, you create stress and resentment that feels normal." DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and Click here to learn more about my private coaching program. Support the show Follow me on IG @blackmotherwound

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic. Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask. *************************************** How we can stay connected and work together! 1. Grab my free mini-course 2. Work with me one-on-one *************************************** Healing from a mother wound really starts with taking care of yourself first. Think about your relationship with yourself like a bank account, you’ve got to make more deposits than withdrawals. Every little thing counts: setting boundaries, saying no when you need to, or just resting when you’re tired. Setting boundaries isn’t about being mean. It’s about protecting your energy. And it’s totally okay if some people get upset or if some relationships change. Your well-being has to come first. Please stop abandoning yourself for others. Check in with what you really need, even if it’s something small. When you appreciate yourself and show some patience, you’re teaching your heart that it’s okay to be kind to you. And remember, safety isn’t something you wait for from outside, it comes from within. Keep reminding yourself you’re okay, even when things feel uncertain. Life doesn’t have to happen on your schedule, and that’s perfectly fine. Take care of you. You deserve it. In this episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on where I really am in my healing journey and how much intention it takes to choose yourself every single day. We get into what it looks like to stop pouring into people who don’t pour back, how boundaries protect your peace, and why standing ten toes down for yourself is the real glow up. I also talk about the quiet wins, the confidence, the clarity, and the freedom that start showing up when you do the work. Tune in and let’s talk about choosing you first, trusting your voice, and making emotional deposits that actually pay off. Topics Covered: (00:00:00) Episode Snippet (00:00:21) Welcome to the Black Mother Wound podcast (00:03:06) Make daily deposits into your own life first (00:07:22) Boundaries are a form of self-investment (00:08:08) Stop self-abandoning (00:11:09) Be patient with your process (00:12:19) Speak up (00:16:04) Communicate with clarity and strength (00:17:14) Assuring yourself that you are safe (00:18:25) Accept your limitations without guilt (00:21:00) Care less about being liked (00:24:42) Embrace what makes you unique (00:26:15) You don’t owe anyone anything (00:27:21) Be more playful, relaxed, and free (00:28:32) Make decisions without second-guessing (00:32:15) Invest fully in your own healing (00:33:50) Don’t delay your dividends Key Takeaways: "I am not taking any advice from people who don't have what I want in life." "Accepting my limitations is a part of my healing." DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services Click here to learn more about my private coaching program. Support the show Follow me on IG @blackmotherwound