First Generasian

In this episode, I’m super excited to speak with Amy Yip (@amyyipcoaching) — a mental fitness coach, keynote speaker, and author. As a first-gen Chinese American herself, her work has come full circle as she works with women of color leaders, primarily AAPI women, to identify and let go of the “shoulds” that weigh them down, so that they can be authors of their own lives. We chat about her 16 years in corporate America, the “shoulds” she carried, and the how she came to terms with what she truly wanted to do in the next phase of life. We discuss what prompted her to write her new book, Unfinished Business: Breaking Down the Great Wall Between Adult Child and Immigrant Parents (available now on Amazon), and what our first-gen community can glean from it. What myths about our immigrant families and parents do we carry? If we took the time to engage in conversation and listened actively, what myths would we find inaccurate? And how might all of this change the connection and relationship we have with them? ________ Book: https://a.co/d/6VdfoYD Website: https://amyyipcoaching.com Instagram: @amyyipcoaching

How do you “balance” both sides of your identity? On this episode, I chat with my friend Shalini about her experience growing up in Chicago while being in touch with her Indian roots. We chat about living in San Francisco (where we met!), and now and her recent soul-searching about where to go next—home to Chicago where her mom is, or stay in SF? We also chat about how, as first-gens, we can sometimes feel pressure to embody a delicate balance between being Asian and being American — because if we're “too” Asian we're seen as “fobby” and if we're “too American” we're seen as “white-washed.” What's the right balance, if there even is one? Plus, some insider scoop—Shalini shares a bit about her experience working for Dil Mil, the well-known dating app created by and for South Asians.

What would you do if you could start over? In episode 12, Annes Kim — a first generation Korean American, born and raised in Philly — shares with me how she gradually realized that she was living someone else’s definition of success. Being a child of immigrant parents could often subconsciously shape the way we make choices — choices that optimize for stability — starting from high school, to college, to our careers and beyond. We discussed how this could gradually lead to a limited life, that all of these choices over years and decades can snowball into a life that one day, feels unfulfilling and disconnected from what we truly want and need. Am I truly content and living in accordance to my values? If not, what isn’t working for me today? We learned to better acknowledge our emotions and pay attention to the nagging thoughts instead of routinely suppressing them. Only then were we able to ask ourselves the uncomfortable questions and begin living truly for ourselves.

It’s been a minute. I’m back with Season 2! In June 2022, when I wrapped up Season 1, I had just landed back in New York City after two years of being in Hong Kong. I took a break with the best of intentions — I’ll adapt to life back in New York City, start planning my move to SF, start a new job, and record as I go. It’s now April 2023 - needless to say, life didn’t quite play out exactly as I expected it to. In this long overdue update, I’ll be sharing what I’ve been up to and what to expect moving forward from this podcast.

Episode 10 is about life transitions. This will also be the end of Season 1! Did something a bit different for this 8-minute season finale, where it's just me 🙉 As some of you may know, I started this podcast while living abroad in Hong Kong, eight-thousand miles away from my hometown in NYC. And now, after almost two years here, I said goodbye to Hong Kong, closed this chapter of life, and moved back to the States just two weeks ago. Took the season finale to reflect on my time in this wonderful city and share my thoughts on change and uncertainty. I’ll be taking a few months off before coming back with Season 2, which I'm really excited about. And with that, thank you for listening, reading, subscribing, sharing and messaging me with your thoughts and encouragement. Y'all are the best. 🥲 See ya real soon! ______________ Follow on Instagram: @firstgenerasianpod Email: firstgenerasian@gmail.com

Back with episode 9 (two weeks late 😅)! Life happened and I procrastinated 🥲 On today’s pod, I chat with a good friend, Sharon Chan, about how we used to work at a community health center in NYC's Chinatown when we were teenagers (she was 15 and I was 19). Almost a decade later, Sharon’s now a digital product designer! Our day to day work isn't related to the Chinatown or Asian American community anymore, so we reflect on whether we've been able to give back / stay involved in other ways, especially now with the wave of anti-Asian hate crimes in the U.S. We also reflect on some lessons we’ve learned over the years, namely: learning to think in less binary terms (ex: you're either all in or you're not) and to recognize that there's a lot of room in between.

I invited Tina back from episode 2, and we talk about how she took the leap to create her own brand of leather camera bags, called No More Ugly (nomoreuglycamerabags.com). As first-gens, we may be more risk-averse for a variety of reasons — family, finances, or even expectations we put on ourselves. Tina and I reflect on how it’s easier to take risks if we reframe them — breaking them up into small, incremental steps and then thinking of the worst case scenario. Is it truly as risky as we assume it to be? As I listened to how Tina created the company, from the early days of Taobao sourcing and selling at outdoor markets to what is it today, it really solidified this concept for me. Lastly, we talk about knowing when it’s okay to pause or move on from something, whether it be a job or something you’ve built from the ground up, because our lives are dynamic and our needs change as we grow. Follow on Instagram: @firstgenerasianpod Email: firstgenerasian@gmail.com ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ 00:00 - 02:20: Welcome! 02:20 - 07:10: The story behind No More Ugly, taking the first step, sourcing bags on Taobao to resell 07:10 - 14: 32: Testing the demand at outdoor street markets, talking to customers for feedback, doubts during the process 14:32 - 22:09: Designing her own camera bag, meeting manufacturers in China, and realizing it's so much easier than expected 22:09 - 29:20: Pausing No More Ugly to move to Hong Kong, reprioritizing things, enjoying life, and being over "hustle culture" 29:20 - 33:50: One thing to tell your younger self: be bold

Friendships are weird. Anita and I talk about the confusing nature of friendships in our 20s and 30s: when we realized that making friends as an adult requires active effort, being more open to different types of friendships, and lastly, the lack of clear guidelines. How exactly do you grow a friendship? How do you know where you stand with someone? And how do you address issues or handle a friendship that is maybe past its prime? We explored Dunbar's number and Rawlins' theory about the 3 types of friendships, but ended this episode with more questions than answers 😂 These of course aren’t questions specific to first gen Asian kids, but because it’s a universal experience, it’s something that many of us can relate to and have thoughts about. Hope it sparks some thought for you! Follow on Instagram: @firstgenerasianpod ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ 00:00 - 01:19: Intro & adult friendships without the structure of school 01:19 - 11:40: Making friends in college vs. post-college in a new city 11:40 - 15:37 : Being open-minded and embracing different types of friendships 15:37 - 24:15: Rating our "friendship health", Dunbar's number, the idea of friendships as an onion, and Rawlins' theory on different functions 24:15 - 35:26: Friendships are basically "undefined relationships", lack of explicit communication, and letting friendships change 35:27 - end: Two things we want to do more of

How does being bicultural shape your life? This week, I speak with my friend Denny, who was born in Taiwan, grew up in Argentina(!), and then moved to Hong Kong for University. We talk about how his family decided to move from Taiwan to South America, how he had to quickly learn Spanish when he moved at the age of 12, and how, because he’s lived in different places during the formative years of his life, he doesn’t feel a full sense of belonging in either place. But what I really appreciated about our conversation was seeing how Denny really embraces life in the in-between. He sees how being both Taiwanese and Argentinian adds color and possibility, and has made him more capable of shifting behaviors to flexibly adapt to his environment. Follow on Instagram: @firstgenerasianpod Email me at: firstgenerasian@gmail.com

Ever tried asking your Asian mom for her recipes, only to be left with missing steps and no measurements? We did! And that was exactly the outcome. Larissa and I talk about how we’re increasingly more appreciative of the food that we grew up with, how we’ve tried to learn from our parents, and how we’ve turned to Asian food bloggers—The Woks of Life, Made with Lau, and even Chrissy Teigen—for inspiration (and help). Larissa moved from Hong Kong to Brooklyn, NY when she was 3, and as a result of being both Chinese and American, has often thought of creative ideas that blend the East and West. We throw around some of these ideas (Hong Kong milk tea + pineapple buns but at a coffee shop with wifi?!) and how she envisions it would look like (think: coffee shop by day, cocktail bar by night). 💭 POCKETS OF THOUGHT 💭 “Look into the kitchen a little bit more, perk in to see how something's made" - Larissa Ho Follow on Instagram: @firstgenerasianpod ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ 00:00 - 01:11 Welcome! 01:11 - 04:19 Traditional Chinese food for Lunar New Year, food that sounds weird but tastes great (chicken feet), homophones 04:19 - 09:07 Taking food for granted, being curious about family recipes 09:07 - 11:22 Random tangents on "English words but with a Chinese accent” 11:22 - 18:00 No measurements in Asian cooking, learning from food bloggers 18:00 - 23:12 The classic Asian-kid-goes-to-school-with-weird-snacks story, and the odd desire for Lunchables 23:12 - 30:45 Soup dumpling carts, milk teas with wifi, and other ideas 30:45 - 34:25 Documenting family recipes and stories going forward

How do you feel comfortable offering opinions in a free form, unplanned environment? How do you trust that what you’re thinking is valid? I talk about this with a good friend of mine, Emily Chen, who moved to New York from the southern part of China when she was 14. She had to adapt not only to an entirely new country and language, but also to a culture that is heavily biased towards being vocal (sometimes even at the expense of public good, but that’s a separate topic). We reflect on how our backgrounds may have contributed to the discomfort, how we’ve learned to trust in the inherent value of our ideas, and how to deliver them effectively and with authenticity. 💭 POCKETS OF THOUGHT 💭 “For lots of immigrants, their lives are so preoccupied with other burdens, like survival, and how do you have enough money to pay for rent, to support your children? When your mind is so preoccupied with just the necessities of life, having an opinion on things that are not immediately relevant to you is such a privilege." -Emily Chen “My parents, like many immigrants who are not very educated, are very practical people. To them, thinking is not very practical.. how would my thoughts change anything? So to them, they want to focus on what’s practical, and to them, it’s what’s actionable.” -Emily Chen Follow on Instagram: @firstgenerasianpod ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ 00:00 - Welcome! Intro'ing Emily 01:45 - 5:40 Sharing opinions vs. sharing answers, prepping talking points ahead of time, open discussion as the default mode in the American education system 5:40 - 12:10 Not getting the chance to practice formulating/sharing opinions growing up, immigrant parents & their tendency to be practical 12:10 - 15:00 Practicing at work, focusing on the message and not on the self 15:00 - 18:07 The flip side of being humble, retraining your mindset 18:07 - 23:20 - Sharing only when ideas are "original", caring about perception and being liked 23:00 - 35:45 - Delivering ideas effectively 35:45 - Things you can't control and learning to walk away

In episode 3, I chat with Andy C. Ng, a child of modest immigrant parents who went on to accomplish a lot for himself—NYU, Google, Harvard—just to paint a picture. But instead of focusing on this accomplishments, we talk instead about how coming from a low-income background makes opportunities feel precious and fragile, how it creates the habit of overextending ourselves, and the tendency to always opt-in. We discuss how we try to explain our jobs to our parents (A+ for effort?), imposter syndrome, learning to slowww down, and embracing, openly, that we’re all just making sh*t up as we go. 💭 POCKETS OF THOUGHT 💭 “I think a lot of children of immigrants have this experience.. I’m living a life that my parents will never really understand, but it’s also the life that would not be possible without all of their work. It creates a lot of dissonance.” -Andy C. Ng “We’re just trying to take in the information that we’re presented with at the time, maybe meet it with a little bit of wisdom that we’ve built up, but otherwise we’re just trying our best.” -Andy C. Ng Follow on Instagram: @firstgenerasianpod ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ 00:00 - Welcome! 01:35 - Intro'ing Andy 04:47 - Difficulty explaining life and career choices to immigrant parents and the dissonance it creates 11:00 - Zigzagging & processing things in real time 13:50 - Opportunities feeling precious, maximizing experiences & doing too much 16:20 - Figuring things out at Google & deciding to go to grad school 20:40 - We're all just making sh*t up 23:00 - Guarding your time 31:44 - Class differences, feeling like an imposter, and finding people in your corner 42:15 - Tell your story, but to those who can hold it 48:20 - Words to younger self: slow down

What does it mean when someone calls you a “banana”? How is your “home self” different from the “outside self” that you present to the world? How has your connection with your roots changed over time, from high school to now, as a working adult? We explore all of these topics in episode 2 with Tina Lee (tg-lee.com), a talented Australian product designer, photographer, and entrepreneur who’s currently based in Hong Kong. She’s the creator of "No More Ugly," a beautifully crafted line of leather camera bags that aims to rid the world of ugly design (currently sold out, but ugh, it’s perfection). I loved reflecting on these questions with Tina and all the fun memories that surfaced from the archives — weekends at Chinese school, bingeing TV shows with grandparents, rewinding VHS tapes — and hope some of our thoughts and memories resonate with you. Follow on Instagram: @firstgenerasianpod ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ 00:00 - Welcome! 00:21 - Intro'ing Tina, moving between AU & HK 05:40 - What's a "banana" and whether we identify with the term 09:50 - Different high school experiences 16:14 - Home self vs. outside self, hiding or rejecting certain parts of you, and the journey to being comfortable with who you are 25:50 - Binge watching Chinese dramas, renting VHS tapes from Chinatown, and fancy VHS rewinders 27:20 - Chinese school 33:40 - Mindset changes during college/uni and finding comfort in diversity 37:35 - Discomfort and challenges when transitioning into the workforce, and learning the importance of diversity in experience

Anita is a really good friend of mine that I met in Hong Kong, and we casually chat about how her ambitions (and the pandemic) led her from her home in Toronto to working here in Asia right after college. We talk about romanticizing our family’s homeland, language barriers while working at a Chinese Tech company, and how our immigrant parents feel about us living abroad (hint: not exactly stoked 😂). Taking risks is hard, and even more so when those closest to you aren’t initially supportive. We talk about balance—staying true to ourselves while acknowledging and understanding where our parents are coming from. Follow on Instagram: @firstgenerasianpod ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ 00:00 - Welcome! 01:20 - Intro'ing Anita & how we met 07:41 - Humble upbringings 10:10 - Why we moved & romanticizing our family's home country 17:30 - Interviewing for roles in Asia & Google translating at work 26:30 - Mom's reaction to us living abroad 32:35 - Immigrants parents, survival mode & centering identity around their kids 39:00 - Learning to balance

Hey there! Welcome to episode zero of First Generasian. I'm your host, Jenn, and in this intro episode, I'll share a bit about my background, how I ended up moving from my home in New York City to Hong Kong, and what I hope to share with you going forward on this pod. Thanks for listening! Follow on Instagram: @firstgenerasianpod