Stepmonster

This episode is all about having imposter syndrome as a stepmom, and how to best deal with it. Spoiler alert: you DO BELONG IN THEIR LIVES, and you're doing great. We also talk about our best advice for NEW stepmoms - things we wish we could have done differently, and our best tips to succeed as a stepmom.

Minisode submission: ...."Fast forward to 2021, six months in our new home, and my fiance lets it slip that he had actually slept with his ex-wife BEFORE coming over to my house to tell me he wanted to work on his marriage back in 2018. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Here I was thinking how he was such a good guy but all along he had cheated on me with his ex. The response I received was that this was three years ago so I just shouldn't worry about it and should be glad that we are together now since our relationship had been great up until this point. It is hard enough dealing with the ex but imagine if your man SLEPT with the ex during your relationship? I feel so torn and sad about this information and am really struggling.

This minisode talks through one stepmom's challenges with her 12-year-old stepkid who is particularly difficult. Refusing to get along, is annoyed by everything, and then on TOP of all of that, her hubs says if she can't figure out how to get along with his kid, he might want a divorce. Should she stick it out? Is it worth it? Hear our take.

As stepmoms, we constantly battle with the need to feel accepted. In this episode, we talk about:

This minisode covers a submission from one of our listeners surrounding her stepson, who has been increasingly disrespectful and ungrateful. Layered on top of an already complex situation involving false allegations, CPS, and losing custody of two kids already - this one is a challenge. Listen in as Bailey and Alyse give this stepmom advice on how to disengage and handle her specific situation.

We're BACK! Spend the first 10 minutes catching up on life with us, but if you want to skip RIGHT to the meat of the episode, skip to minute 11. In this episode, Bailey and Alyse talk through the challenges which come along with having to deal with family courts, or as Alyse calls it, "the clown show". We talk through ways to handle situations thrown your way and then dive in on prenups in a blended family situation. **Disclaimer: This episode does not serve as legal advice. For legal advice applicable to your individual situation, please consult an attorney**

We are so excited to have Joseph Goldberg as a guest on our show. His last three years have been devoted to the study of research that explains the causal factors of high conflict interpersonal disputes, and family relational problems. The new factors from the neurobiological research put a new spin on not only what causes these problems to surface, but what parents can now do to resolve their ruptured relationships with their children. MORE ABOUT JOSEPH: Joseph Goldberg is a recognized expert in parental alienation. He is a Psycho-Legal Education and Litigation Support Consultant, which means he provides continuing education to lawyers, mental health professionals, and to parents who are engaged in high conflict, complex custody disputes that involve parent-child relationship problems. Visit his website to learn more: https://www.parentalalienation.ca/

In this minisode, we unpack a historically tumultuous situation between a stepmom, her partner, and his ex-wife, who has shown to be high conflict. She wants to apologize to the stepmom, but the question remains: is it genuine? And even if it is, are we obligated to accept?

Shawn Simon, MA, is a Board Certified Educational Therapist who works with children. Therefore, when she met the man of her dreams, who just happened to come with a couple of kids, she thought being a stepmom would be a breeze. She was wrong. However, as someone born with only one arm, she’s learned to overcome obstacles. Thus, she knew she could face the challenges of step-mothering. Shawn is published in the Association of Educational Therapists’ Journal and is an award-winning inspirational speaker in her field. She lives in Southern California with her husband, two step-kids, three rescue dogs, and one sixteen-year-old cat. Shawn is currently at work on more books for stepfamilies. Follow Shawn on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shawncranesimon/ Visit her website: https://stepmomshawn.com/ Order her book "Stepping into a New Role: Stories from Stepmoms" here: https://www.amazon.com/Stepping-into-New-Role-Stepmoms/dp/1940310954/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=stories+from+stepmoms&qid=1589780313&sr=8-1 https://www.4rvpublishing.com/shawn-simon.html https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/stepping-into-a-new-role-shawn-simon/1136816236?ean=9781940310954

Perhaps our most important episode of the year, this one is fully dedicated to talking about all things Mother's Day (after a brief 4-min awkward story from Bailey). We talk about how to set proper expectations for yourself, your partner, and your stepkids for the day. We share our own feelings around gift-giving, being a childless stepmom celebrating, and all things in-between.

In this episode, we review a story from stepmom "Mrs. M" who has dealt with more than her fair share of insanity during her stepmom journey thus far. From stalking to restraining orders, name-calling, and insane manipulation - how do you even survive this as a stepmom? We share our advice on how, despite all the crazy in her world, she can bond with her stepdaughter. Also - even though it's marked explicit, we have a few f-bombs in this episode so if you're offended... skip it. :)

In this episode we welcome guest, Megan McLaren. Megan resides in Alberta and is a mom to twins, stepmom, social worker, and certified life coach. We tlk through Megan's experience as a stepmom and how she overcame grief and grieving the life she never got to have. She missed out on being the first wife, the first birthing experience, and many other things with her now-husband, but Megan didn't let that stop her from finding joy and happiness through her struggles. We talk through that, and: Follow Megan McLaren on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/meganmclarencoach/

During this episode, we read a situation from one of our very own stepmom friends who is dealing with a tough situation all around. Between feeling like a stranger in her own home, constantly walking on eggshells, a High Conflict Bio Mom (HCBM) to deal with, and a stepdaughter who is lashing out behaviorally, she's drained. We walk you through her story and give our best advice on how to move forward.

This episode is all about the hottest topic now in the stepmom community: DOUBLE STANDARDS. Why is it that we rally around a parent who says "I need a break" but criticize a stepmom for saying the same thing? Whether it's being able to say "mom things", attending doctor's appointments or sporting events, or simply being welcomed into a "mom" community - it's something we always deal with. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/stepmonsterpodcast/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/stepmonsterpodcast/support

In this episode, we read a submission from a stepmom struggling with the relationship her husband has with his ex. We unpack her story and ask ourselves where the lines are: how close is TOO close? When do you have the right to feel uncomfortable (spoiler: you have the right to feel uncomfortable whenever you please)?

This episode digs into all things disrespect-related. Maybe your stepkid makes your home a living hell. Maybe they talk down to you. Maybe they don't respect your boundaries. Hear from Bailey and Alyse how to handle this, how to prevent it, and how another stepmom has handled this herself.

This episode is a mini from a stepmom submission who is dealing with an extreme scenario. In this case, the biomom is actually a therapist (won't be referring anyone to her after hearing this), but is severely manipulating her kids to actively dislike the stepmom. Between inappropriate messages to her ex, saying things that aren't true, and actively trying to keep the stepmom away from the kids, this episode is packed with all the things. Bailey and Alyse spend 6 minutes catching up on life, so if you want to skip directly to this part, head to 7:00, and find the rest of the episode based on this specific scenario.

In this episode, we welcome guest Cheryl (who also happens to be Bailey's momma). Cheryl has been what we'll call sandwiched right in the middle of a blended family - having been through a divorce herself, having full custody of her daughter, and dealing with what it's like to have a kid switch between two DRAMATICALLY different households. She also has an "ours" baby of her own and is re-married. Her perspective is one we found to be incredibly relatable to stepmoms dealing with different situations, specifically: Join us for a listen and let us know what you think on social media.

*TRIGGER WARNING: EMOTIONAL ABUSE* In this episode, we read a submission from a stepmom in a tough situation. With a partner who struggles with addiction and often lashes out at the kids and her, and who tries to put the stepmom in a situation where she is a supervising party to court-mandated supervised visits. We try to pick through the information and give our best advice on how to handle this situation. It's worth noting that while we don't have ALL the information, we felt as though we had enough information to give sound advice. If you are struggling or finding yourself in a potentially abusive relationship, please use the resources below to seek help. https://www.thehotline.org/ Text "START" to 88788 Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)

Kelly and Angelina are unlike any stepmom and biomom duo we've met to date. Their relationship didn't start out with hugs and mutual respect. It took a lot of self-awareness, work, and reflection from each of them to get to the point where they could successfully co-parent the same kids together. Sure, it could be awkward that Kelly is married to Angelina's ex-husband... but these two brilliant ladies have figured out a way to put the kids first, and build a bond together that is so incredible and unique. Hear from each of them in this episode what it was like to meet. what they would have done differently if they could rewind, and how they manage to lean on each other to ensure their kids have the best lives.