Dear Dr. Tracy

Ever had the moment where your partner says, “I did it,” but somehow…you’re still the one cleaning up the aftermath? In this episode, Dr. Tracy is joined by her husband Greg to talk about a surprisingly specific (and wildly common) mental load issue: not “closing the task.” Using their real-life bath time example, they break down how tasks have a beginning, middle, and end, and how skipping the “end” quietly transfers labor, time, and emotional energy to the other person. They also explore why this pattern often isn’t malicious, it’s autopilot, mismatched expectations, and unspoken definitions of what “done” actually means. Most importantly: how to bring it up without triggering the classic couple cycle of resentment and defensiveness. What “closing the task” means (and why it matters more than you think) Why “I helped” can still leave one partner feeling like the street cleaner after the parade How unspoken task definitions create conflict (hello, “I cleaned the kitchen”) A gentler way to introduce the concept using curiosity, not criticism Why “diffusion of responsibility” often lands on one partner by default How single-tasking (not multitasking) supports follow-through and reduces friction LINKS FROM EPISODE: Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today.⁠ ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ RESOURCES Get Relationship Support ⁠Inside ⁠⁠Be Connected⁠⁠⁠ Order my new book! ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ Need deeper support? 1:1 and Couples Coaching Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to the podcast⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@drtracyd⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this short From the Couch Q&A episode, Dr. Tracy responds to a listener who feels crushed by guilt after she and her husband chose to go no-contact with his sister (and her family) after years of escalating conflict. The listener shares that the tension started around their engagement, with ongoing attacks, scapegoating, and a painful pattern of being blamed for “destroying the family.” Dr. Tracy offers a crucial reframe: in many in-law dynamics, the partner didn’t “ruin” the family, the family system changed when the couple formed their own unit, and some people fight hard to pull things back to the way they were. Dr. Tracy explores the complexity of sibling bonds and family roles, including how guilt and blame can become part of a bigger system (triangles, rescuer roles, unspoken expectations). She also names the emotional whiplash many people feel in estrangement: relief and grief at the same time. LINKS FROM EPISODE: Order my new book! ⁠⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠⁠ My first book: I Didn't Sign Up for This Get Relationship Support ⁠Inside⁠ ⁠⁠Be Connected⁠⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠ RESOURCES Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to the podcast⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@drtracyd⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode Dr. Tracy slows down one of the internet’s most popular relationship labels: weaponized incompetence. She names why the term resonates so deeply, especially for women carrying the mental load, and why it can feel like oxygen to finally have language for exhaustion, invisibility, and resentment. But Dr. Tracy also brings nuance to a conversation that often gets flattened. She explains that “weaponized incompetence” isn’t always rooted in intentional harm or laziness. Often, what looks like incompetence is tied to learned helplessness, gendered socialization, fear of failure, shame, conflict avoidance, and unspoken agreements that form over time. The “weapon” isn’t always intention. It’s the outcome: one partner becomes the manager, the other becomes the assistant, and resentment grows in both directions, just with different faces. LINKS FROM EPISODE: Build better connection and feel close starting today.⁠ ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Dr. Tracy's First Book I Didn't Sign Up For This Book RESOURCES Get Relationship Support ⁠Inside ⁠⁠Be Connected⁠⁠⁠ Order my new book! ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to the podcast⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@drtracyd⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this short “From the Couch” episode, Dr. Tracy speaks to one of the most common pain points couples face around intimacy: one partner needs closeness to want sex, while the other experiences sex as the way they feel close. And when that mismatch goes unspoken, both people can start to feel rejected, pressured, and quietly alone even when love is still very much there. Dr. Tracy offers a simple framework that brings relief fast: there are two primary pathways to desire, spontaneous desire and responsive desire, and neither one is “better.” Spontaneous desire often starts in the mind and can feel effortless, but it commonly fades in long-term relationships, especially in high-demand seasons like parenting. Responsive desire, on the other hand, tends to emerge after emotional connection, affection, safety, and slowing down enough for the body to catch up. She explains why touch can feel like an invitation in one moment and like another demand in the next, and why that isn’t rejection, it’s capacity. The key shift she leaves listeners with is this: instead of asking “what’s wrong with us,” start asking “what conditions help my partner’s desire grow?” Because desire isn’t something you either have or don’t have, it’s something couples can learn to nurture together. LINKS FROM EPISODE: Free Guide 5 Ways to Nurture Your Intimacy RESOURCES Get Relationship Support ⁠Inside ⁠⁠Be Connected⁠⁠⁠ Order my new book! ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to the podcast⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@drtracyd⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of Dear Dr. Tracy, Dr. Tracy D is joined by psychologist, professor, and sex researcher Dr. Nicole McNichols for a grounded, shame-reducing conversation about sex, desire, and what actually helps couples build a satisfying intimate life in the real world.Together, they unpack why so many people feel anxious, awkward, or “broken” when it comes to sex, and how much of that is shaped by cultural scripts, misinformation, and silence. Dr. Nicole shares how teaching a university-level sexuality course revealed just how hungry people are for accurate, compassionate education, not just about mechanics, but about autonomy, pleasure, and communication.A big focus of the conversation is what happens to desire in long-term relationships, especially in the parenting years. Dr. Tracy and Dr. Nicole talk about mental load, exhaustion, and the way many women lose access to autonomy and play after becoming moms, and how that directly impacts desire. They explore the difference between spontaneous and responsive desire, why “just schedule sex” often backfires without the right setup, and how to think about pleasure as a cycle rather than a switch you’re supposed to flip on command.They also address common myths about female pleasure, including the reality of female ejaculation, and they challenge the pressure-heavy “how often should we be having sex?” conversation with a more nuanced, research-informed lens. The takeaway is clear: frequency is not a scoreboard, and pressure is a desire killer. Connection, novelty, communication, and a sense of entitlement to pleasure are where things actually shift. What You’ll Learn Why sex isn’t “dessert,” and why treating it like an add-on creates disconnection How shame and cultural scripts keep couples silent, even when they want more intimacy The difference between spontaneous vs. responsive desire (and why responsive desire is common in long-term relationships) Why planning intimacy can work, but only when you support the pleasure cycle and remove pressure How mental load and inequality at home can quietly erode desire What research actually says about frequency (and why those viral “average couples” stats are misleading) The role of novelty, communication, and pleasure in sustaining long-term sexual connection LINKS FROM SHOW Order Dr. McNichols new book. You Could Be Having Better Sex RESOURCES Get Relationship Support ⁠Inside ⁠⁠Be Connected⁠⁠⁠ Order my new book! ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to the podcast⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@drtracyd⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this “From the Couch” episode, Dr. Tracy responds to a listener who’s been carrying the fallout of a painful postpartum season, where in-law boundary violations piled up and their partner didn’t protect them in the ways they needed. She normalizes how often having a baby is the moment extended-family dynamics shift, because your needs change, your limits change, and suddenly the old rules don’t fit anymore. LINKS FROM EPISODE: Order my new book! ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ RESOURCES: Get Relationship Support ⁠⁠Inside Be Connected⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: ⁠⁠⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection? ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the⁠⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to the podcast⁠⁠ https://www.youtube.com/@drtracyd⁠⁠ Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd⁠⁠ Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Dr. Tracy shares five small, daily practices that can shift the emotional tone of your relationship, especially once the “new year” dust has actually settled. She names what many of us feel but don’t say out loud: January 1 is not exactly peak nervous-system readiness, and real change usually starts after the recovery period. LINKS FROM EPISODE: ⁠⁠⁠Hello Fresh: a free ZWILLING knife (a $145 value on your third box). Visit: ⁠⁠hellofresh.com/tracy10fm⁠⁠ Annual Relationship Check-In Free on the Be Connected App - Apple Free on the Be Connected App - Google Play Feel closer after the More Than Roommates Challenge https://drtracyd.mykajabi.com/morethanroommates Breaking the ‘New Year, New You’ Cycle with Dr. Meagan Gallagher Listen on Apple Listen on Spotify Feeling Stuck? - Free Guide to challenge your assumptions https://drtracyd.mykajabi.com/assumption RESOURCES Get Relationship Support ⁠Inside ⁠⁠Be Connected⁠⁠⁠ Order my new book! ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to the podcast⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@drtracyd⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this short “From the Couch” episode, Dr. Tracy talks about a common relationship moment: you’re about to head out for the night, and your partner is clearly struggling. Bad mood, stressed, kids melting down, the whole thing. And suddenly you’re standing there in your jacket wondering if you’re allowed to still go. Dr. Tracy explains why staying home can feel like the easier choice in the short term, but becomes a problem over time when it turns into a pattern of self-abandonment. She reframes guilt as values bumping into each other (supporting your partner vs. nurturing yourself), and reminds listeners that guilt isn’t proof you’re doing something wrong. LINKS FROM EPISODE: My book: I Didn't Sign Up For This Mental Load: The Unpaid Invisible Work of Motherhood with Eve Rodsky RESOURCES: Get Relationship Support ⁠Inside Be Connected⁠ Order my new book! ⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠ ⁠ Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: ⁠⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection? ⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to the podcast⁠ https://www.youtube.com/@drtracyd⁠ Follow on Instagram ⁠https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd⁠ Follow on Facebook ⁠https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish and Greg dig into something that quietly impacts a lot of couples: friendships and independence, especially male friendships in midlife and parenting seasons. They talk honestly about why it can feel so hard for men to maintain friendships, why guilt shows up when one partner tries to take time away, and how “defaulting to the kids” can become a relationship pattern that slowly drains both partners.They also unpack the tension many couples live inside of: the mental load is real, the resentment is real, and so is the cost when either partner loses their autonomy. Dr. Tracy shares real-life examples (hello, postpartum golf day) and offers a more nuanced lens: you can support your partner, prioritize your family, and still protect the parts of you that make you you. LINKS FROM EPISODE ⁠Hello Fresh: a free ZWILLING knife (a $145 value on your third box).Visit: ⁠hellofresh.com/tracy10fm⁠ 100 Questions to Deepen Your Connection https://stan.store/drtracyd/p/get-my-templateebookcourse-now-v1ke3 RESOURCES Get Relationship Support ⁠Inside ⁠Be Connected⁠⁠ Order my new book! ⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to the podcast⁠ ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@drtracyd⁠⁠Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this short “From the Couch” episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish answers a question many couples know by heart: “Are you mad at me?” Inspired by a comment on a recent reel with Greg, Dr. Tracy explores why this question shows up so often and why it’s rarely about the moment and more about older wiring, nervous system threat, and the stories we learned to tell ourselves in childhood.Using a simple yarn analogy, she explains how our brains build repeated patterns (“neurons that wire together, fire together”) and how partnership can become the place where we gently rewire those patterns with secure connection. Dr. Tracy offers three practical, compassionate prompts to respond in a way that lowers defensiveness, increases emotional safety, and helps your partner share what they feel and need, not just what they fear. LINKS FROM EPISODE: Instagram Reel HERE Be Connected Relationship Support HERE RESOURCES: Order my new book! ⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠ Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠ ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to the podcast⁠ https://www.youtube.com/@drtracyd⁠ Follow on Instagram ⁠https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd⁠ Follow on Facebook ⁠https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish sits down with Katie Wells, host of The Maximized Minimalist podcast and a leading voice in decluttering, to talk about what really keeps families stuck in overwhelm.Katie shares the emotional moment that changed how she saw clutter, why traditional “do more, try harder” organizing advice often fails, and the four types of clutter that require different tools. Together, they unpack the guilt that shows up around gifts, sentimental items, and identity-based clutter, plus how clutter can amplify mental load and stress at home.Katie also offers two practical starting points you can implement right away, including a “permanent donation station” and a simple daily clutter-audit habit. Her new book, Making Home Your Happy Place, is available to order now. LINKS FROM EPISODE: Grab Katy's New Book: Making Home Your Happy Place: A Real-Life Guide to Decluttering Without the OverwhelmVisit: https://amzn.to/4pGfkALHello Fresh: a free ZWILLING knife (a $145 value on your third box).Visit: hellofresh.com/tracy10fmNative Path Collagen Peptides: One clean ingredient, third-party tested.Visit: getnativepath.com/tracy Get Relationship Support ⁠Inside Be Connected⁠ Order my new book! ⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠ Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠ ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to the podcast⁠ https://www.youtube.com/@drtracyd⁠Follow on Instagram ⁠https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this From the Couch episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish explores why apologies often don’t land in relationships and what keeps couples feeling stuck even after saying “I’m sorry.” She explains how performative apologies, over-focusing on intent, and rushing forgiveness can minimize hurt and block true repair. Drawing from clinical experience, Dr. Tracy breaks down the role of impact, accountability, and emotional presence in meaningful apologies. LINKS FROM EPISODE: After the Fight: How to Repair Workshop Here RESOURCES: Get Relationship Support Inside Be Connected Order my new book! You, Your Husband, and His Mother Want your questions answered on the show? ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠ Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection? ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠ FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to the podcast https://www.youtube.com/@drtracyd Follow on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd Follow on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish and her husband Greg explore why accountability is so difficult in relationships and how blame quietly breaks connection. They unpack the difference between intent and impact, why apologies often fall flat, and how defensiveness shows up even when partners mean well. Through real-life examples and practical language, Dr. Tracy explains what true accountability sounds like, how it supports repair, and why it creates emotional safety and closeness. LINKS FROM EPISODE: Your Weekly Intention Get support for under $2 After the Fight: How to Repair Workshop Here Free Scripts for Bad Apologies RESOURCES: Get Relationship Support Inside Be Connected Order my new book! You, Your Husband, and His Mother Want your questions answered on the show? ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠ Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection? ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠ FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to the podcast https://www.youtube.com/@drtracyd Follow on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd Follow on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This In-Case-You-Missed-It-Episode and a must-listen-to episode. Coming to you from Nashville, Tennessee, Dr. Tracy reunites in person with her dear friend Dr. Tanya Cotler, a clinical psychologist specializing in maternal mental health and child-parent attachment. Dr. Tracy kicks off the episode by sharing a recent personal experience of a body memory—a sudden, unexplained emotional outburst she later linked to her childhood. This episode dives deep into the concept of body memories—emotions stored physically that our brains may not recall cognitively—and the importance of addressing intergenerational trauma. They discuss how modern parenting is shifting towards acknowledging and processing these traumas to prevent passing them on to the next generation. The conversation also explores the nervous system's role in safety and emotional responses, mindfulness practices, attachment theory, the influence of social media on our understanding of attachment styles, and so much more. You don’t want to miss this one! Be sure to follow Dr. Tanya on ⁠Instagram⁠ and visit her ⁠website⁠ RESOURCES: Free Annual Relationship Check-In - Apple Users⁠https://apps.apple.com/ca/app/be-connected-relationships/id6749022241⁠ Free Annual Relationship Check-In - Google Play Users⁠https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.kj134873.app Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ LINKS: ⁠⁠⁠HelloFresh:⁠⁠⁠ Get 10 Free Meals ⁠⁠⁠hellofresh.com/TRACY10FM⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠NativePath:⁠⁠⁠ Special Bundle deal at ⁠⁠⁠getnativepath.com/Tracy⁠⁠⁠ Rula: Get the support you need with ⁠⁠⁠rula.com/Tracy⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠KiwiCo:⁠⁠⁠ Save 50% off with code TRACY ⁠⁠⁠KiwiCo.Com⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Vionic Shoes⁠⁠⁠⁠: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this solo episode, clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish invites listeners into the real emotional landscape of the holidays, far beyond picture perfect family photos. She shares five powerful reflections to help couples and parents move through holiday stress with more connection, less pressure, and a lot more self compassion. Drawing from her experience as a highly sensitive person and a mom to a highly sensitive child, Dr. Tracy explores what it means to hold big feelings on Christmas morning, respond to disappointment without shame, and let go of the belief that kids must always be grateful and happy to make the day a success. She also unpacks how resentment shows up between partners around traditions, mental load, and invisible work, and why communicating expectations before the holiday is essential for staying on the same team. Book #1https://drtracyd.com/i-didn-t-sign-up-for-thisBook #2https://drtracyd.com/you-your-husband-and-his-mother Challenge Your Assumptionshttps://drtracyd.mykajabi.com/assumption 30 Days to Us Challengehttps://drtracyd.mykajabi.com/offers/B2s9epue/checkout RESOURCES: Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠ LINKS: ⁠⁠HelloFresh:⁠⁠ Get 10 Free Meals ⁠⁠hellofresh.com/TRACY10FM⁠⁠ ⁠⁠NativePath:⁠⁠ Special Bundle deal at ⁠⁠getnativepath.com/Tracy⁠⁠ Rula: Get the support you need with ⁠⁠rula.com/Tracy⁠⁠ ⁠⁠KiwiCo:⁠⁠ Save 50% off with code TRACY ⁠⁠KiwiCo.Com⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Vionic Shoes⁠⁠⁠: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As the year winds down, many couples reflect on work, finances, and goals—but often forget to reflect on their relationship. In this episode, clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish shares why an end-of-year relationship check-in is one of the most powerful tools couples can use to move out of autopilot and into intention. This conversation isn’t about fixing, blaming, or problem-solving. It’s about pausing, listening, and creating shared meaning. Drawing on relationship research and the Gottmans’ work on connection, Dr. Tracy explains how intentional reflection helps couples break reactive patterns and feel more secure and aligned. She offers one deceptively simple but deeply impactful question to ask your partner—and guidance on how to listen without defensiveness. This episode is a gentle invitation to slow down, reconnect, and intentionally shape the year ahead together. Free Annual Relationship Check-In - Apple Usershttps://apps.apple.com/ca/app/be-connected-relationships/id6749022241Free Annual Relationship Check-In - Google Play Usershttps://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.kj134873.appFree Relationship Quizhttps://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/5f4b84f59cc5d6001429f108 RESOURCES: Order my new book! ⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠ Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠ LINKS: ⁠⁠HelloFresh:⁠⁠ Get 10 Free Meals ⁠⁠hellofresh.com/TRACY10FM⁠⁠ ⁠⁠NativePath:⁠⁠ Special Bundle deal at ⁠⁠getnativepath.com/Tracy⁠⁠ Rula: Get the support you need with ⁠⁠rula.com/Tracy⁠⁠ ⁠⁠KiwiCo:⁠⁠ Save 50% off with code TRACY ⁠⁠KiwiCo.Com⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Vionic Shoes⁠⁠⁠: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Tracy Dalgleish answers listener questions on caregiving burnout when a partner has chronic health issues, using Spoon Theory to protect the relationship without losing yourself. She shares practical scripts for rebalancing roles during flare-ups, nervous system regulation tools, and ways to support kids with honesty, predictability, and emotional safety. The episode also covers how to stay connected to a younger sister in an emotionally abusive relationship while avoiding the drama triangle, plus navigating “low effort” in-laws who show love through gifts. Finally, Dr. Tracy offers guidance on estate planning conflict, resentment, boundaries, and staying united as a couple, and how to support a partner with emotionally neglectful parents while protecting your children. RESOURCES IN THIS EPISODE: Submit a Question for the Podcasthttps://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScKBYWwVsUAAwh31qEJmKK6iSQ7b0tKF3UD7fMcTufSEPVGqw/viewformCouples IntensiveInner Calm Workshop inside Be Connectedhttps://drtracyd.com/be-connected10 Rules for Hard Conversationshttps://drtracyd.mykajabi.com/ten RESOURCES: Order my new book! ⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠ Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠ ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠ LINKS: ⁠HelloFresh:⁠ Get 10 Free Meals ⁠hellofresh.com/TRACY10FM⁠ ⁠NativePath:⁠ Special Bundle deal at ⁠getnativepath.com/Tracy⁠ Rula: Get the support you need with ⁠rula.com/Tracy⁠ ⁠KiwiCo:⁠ Save 50% off with code TRACY ⁠KiwiCo.Com⁠ ⁠⁠Vionic Shoes⁠⁠: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this From The Couch episode, clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish unpacks a painful but common experience many couples face in in law relationships: The moment when a partner seems to disappear emotionally after stepping into their family of origin, leaving the other partner feeling alone, unprotected, or disconnected. Dr. Tracy explains why this shift happens, drawing on family roles, nervous system responses, and inner child patterns that resurface in familiar environments. She clarifies why this is not about choosing parents over a partner, but about old survival strategies taking over without awareness. The real wound, she explains, is not just in law behavior, but the loss of the couple bond in these moments. This episode reframes the goal from setting perfect boundaries to learning how to stay connected as a team. Listeners will hear practical questions and small, grounding strategies couples can use to protect their relationship while navigating difficult family dynamics. IN THIS EPISODE: Get immediate support for your relationship: Join Be Connected Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠ ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠ RESOURCES: Order my new book! You, Your Husband, and His Mother Want your questions answered on the show? ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection? ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠ LINKS: HelloFresh:⁠ Get 10 Free Meals ⁠hellofresh.com/TRACY10FM⁠ ⁠NativePath:⁠ Special Bundle deal at ⁠getnativepath.com/Tracy⁠ Rula: Get the support you need with ⁠rula.com/Tracy KiwiCo: Save 50% off with code TRACY KiwiCo.Com ⁠Vionic Shoes⁠: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this candid conversation, clinical psychologist Dr. Tracy Dalgleish and her husband Greg unpack a real moment from their own marriage to explore one of the most common and misunderstood relational challenges dismissiveness. Together they break down why phrases like “you’re right,” “everything will be fine,” and “don’t you think you’re being sensitive” leave partners feeling unseen and alone, even when the intent behind them is positive. Dr. Tracy explains how dismissiveness is often a nervous system response shaped by socialization, attachment patterns, and learned family dynamics, while Greg reflects on the pressures men feel to fix, solve, and move on quickly. Listeners will learn practical tools to interrupt dismissive patterns, slow down reactive cycles, stay curious, repair in real time, and communicate more effectively. This episode offers a relatable look into how couples can transform quick shutdowns into deeper connection and understanding. Links in Show Notes Be Connected Relationship Support https://drtracyd.com/be-connected 30 Days to Us https://drtracyd.mykajabi.com/offers/B2s9epue/checkout Scripts for Defensiveness https://drtracyd.mykajabi.com/defensive RESOURCES: Order my new book! You, Your Husband, and His Mother Want your questions answered on the show? ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠ Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection? ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠ LINKS: HelloFresh: Get 10 Free Meals hellofresh.com/TRACY10FM NativePath: Special Bundle deal at getnativepath.com/Tracy Rula: Get the support you need with rula.com/Tracy KiwiCo: Save 50% off with code TRACY KiwiCo.Com ⁠Vionic Shoes⁠: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish shares two of her most trusted strategies for navigating difficult family dynamics—especially during the holiday season when old patterns, expectations, and nervous system triggers tend to flare. Drawing from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, she explains why we can’t change or control others, and how “dropping the rope” and questioning the stories we tell ourselves can immediately shift our emotional state. With relatable examples, practical guidance, and a compassionate lens, Dr. Tracy helps listeners step out of old cycles, reclaim their bandwidth, and stay grounded—even when others refuse to meet them halfway.You’ll Learn:Why trying to change or convince others keeps you stuck in emotional tug-of-warWhat “dropping the rope” really means—and how it protects your peaceHow family dynamics and nervous system activation intensify during the holidaysThe power of asking, “Is this the story I want to tell myself right now?”How to move out of mental spiraling and into present-moment grounding RESOURCES: Order my new book! You, Your Husband, and His Mother Want your questions answered on the show? ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠ Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection? ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠ LINKS: Calm: Save 40% off at calm.com/Tracy NativePath: Special Bundle deal at getnativepath.com/Tracy Rula: Get the support you need with rula.com/Tracy KiwiCo: Save 50% off with code TRACY KiwiCo.Com⁠Vionic Shoes⁠: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices