Lessons from a Quitter

In this episode of Lessons from a Quitter, we talk about accepting what is. Sometimes we create so much drama around discomfort that, which only adds unnecessary suffering to an already stressful situation. Today we talk about one of the biggest skills you can have, which is accepting what is and accepting the circumstances in your life. Coming to the realization that you don't control and can’t control everything can free up so much more space to problem solve. Then going about your life not adding all of the unnecessary drama to it, which we’ve discussed before as dirty pain. You can learn to take care of yourself and your needs despite the uncontrollable and ever-changing variables in your life.

In this episode of Lessons from a Quitter, we talk about the importance of taking vacation time. I emphasize on the fact that taking a break is not a luxury, but a necessity. The capitalist system has conditioned us to believe that productivity equals worth, and as a result, many of us struggle to take time off work. We need to change our mindset around vacation time and stop equating rest with laziness. The Puritan work ethic, combined with the capitalist system, has led to the idea that hard work equals godliness. This narrative has been ingrained in us for decades, and it can be hard to break free from it. However, taking time off is essential for our mental and physical health. Tune in to this episode to check in on your thoughts around taking a break. Are you able to enjoy your vacation without feeling guilty or trying to maximize that time to do more?!

This week I talk about understanding the difference between the tasks you are hired to do and the problems that are your employer's responsibility. It's important to recognize that your employer's problems are not your problems, and corporate America loves to take advantage of employees' perfectionism and people-pleasing tendencies, which leads them to take on extra work that they are not paid to do. We have to remember that our jobs are transactional relationships, and we get paid for performing a specific set of tasks. In this episode I encourage you to evaluate the tasks you were hired to do and what you are doing that is beyond your pay grade, figure out when you agreed to take on extra work, and how you can change this situation. There are four common problems that arise from employees taking on work they are not paid to do, including doing more work than we are paid for, taking on someone else's responsibilities, working beyond regular hours, and fixing other people's mistakes. Listen in as I encourage you to set boundaries, advocate for yourself, and give back work that is not your responsibility.

This week, I’m replaying an episode I did in 2019 with Dave Hollis. Unfortunately, Dave unexpectedly passed away last month from heart failure. I wanted to replay this episode as a tribute to him. But, more importantly, I wanted to replay it because there is so much we can learn from Dave and how he lived his life. In this episode, I dive into what I learned from Dave during our brief interaction on the podcast, how focusing on the fact that life is short can help drive you towards the life you want, and why tragedies like this really put into focus how little it matters what other people think about you and your choices.

This week, I’m sharing a podcast that I LOVE and had the pleasure of being a guest on: The Get Paid Podcast with Claire Pelletreau. Claire has a way of asking all of the questions we want to know but are usually afraid to ask: How much money do you make? What do you spend it on? How did you get here (literally step by step)? If you want to hear my entire journey and get the juicy details of every step, make sure to check out this episode.

One of the biggest lies we love to believe is that it’s “easier” to just stay where we are. It’s easier to not go after those dreams. But it’s not easier, it’s just more familiar. And that familiarity leads to resentment, bitterness, hopelessness, despair, and dread. It’s not easier living like that. So if you’re not going to go after your dreams, at least stop lying to yourself by saying that it’s easier this way. This week, we dive into this topic and how we can start seeing the price we pay for staying in that comfort zone.

Studies have shown the most important factor for reaching your goals isn’t more motivation or willpower. It is being surrounded with people that will hold you accountable and support you. You already know you’re more likely to give up on your goals if you’re the only one who knows about it. On this week’s podcast, I talk about how being in communities that supported me through this journey of career change is the only reason I have the business I have today and how you can start finding your community too.

One of the main principles I try to live by and teach my students is to focus on one thing Focus on one goal for the year. Focus on one area to improve. Focus on one limiting belief. Just slow down and take as much time as it takes to get the result you want in that ONE area and then move onto the next thing. But most people push against this because we’ve been conditioned to believe we need to change it ALL…and FAST. So we set a ton of goals, tell ourselves we’re behind, and scramble because we think there isn’t enough time. But we all know what happens. We get overwhelmed and give up. The irony is that if you slow down to work on one thing until you’ve mastered it, you actually start solving your problems. That’s exactly what Betty Dao did. She was in my program Pave Your Path and she took my advice to focus on just ONE thing. She got to work on that. She even stopped coming to the coaching calls because she didn’t want to be influenced to work on other things and she changed her life! She’s on the podcast today to talk about her journey.

Here’s why self-love is CRITICAL. You think your problem is: People pleasing Perfectionism Caring too much about what other people need Overachieving Imposter syndrome But the root of all of those is a lack of self-love. And this isn’t in some woo-woo “all we need is love” kind of thing. I’ve coached thousands of people and the root of almost every problem is some underlying belief of: I’m not good enough. It’s a worth issue. Think about it. That’s why we so desperately need other people to approve of or like us. That’s why we try so hard to be perfect. That’s why we keep checking off all the boxes society tells us to in order to be “good enough”. They’re all defense mechanisms. Because we’re terrified that somehow our deepest insecurity might be true…that maybe we’re really not good enough in some way. And so we hustle…we perform…we give and give… But no amount of other people’s love or accomplishments or perfection will ever outrun that thought. If it would, you would’ve done it by now. It only changes when we decide to change our own thoughts about ourselves. It’s available to you right now. No need to do or be anything else. And it’s one of the most important skills to cultivate. On today’s podcast episode, I dive deeper into why self-love is critical.

My friend, Scarlett Cochran, is back on the podcast today to talk about how to think about your money in a way that lets you create the rich life you want today. If you didn’t catch Scarlett’s first episode on the podcast where she talked about her incredibly inspiring story (she went from single teen mom in the military making $25k a year to putting herself through Yale Law School to becoming a Banking and Consumer Finance Attorney to growing her platform One Big Happy Life to multiple six figures as a side hustle) make sure to check it out here. But after coaching thousands of people on how to build wealth, Scarlett started seeing a pattern: People were living by other people’s money rules…even if it made their lives miserable. So she set out to change that. She wrote her first book, It’s Not About the Money, to change how people approach their money. The book gives a simple system for understanding and managing your money in a way that feels good to YOU so you can create the life you want to live TODAY and every day after that. And she’s on the podcast to talk about it with us today. Make sure to snag her book and follow her here: Book - https://onebighappylife.com/book Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@OneBigHappyLife Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/onebighappylife/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/onebighappylife/

Everyone focuses on teaching you how to set goals. But what happens after you set it? We all know that the hard part comes from following through. Most of know what we want to do but we just feel like we can't get ourselves to do it. On today's podcast, I'll teach you why that's a myth (you really can follow through) and how to start doing it.

One of the main issues I see with people who give up on their goals is that they’re setting too many. You get 1 goal per year. That’s it. No exceptions. On today's episode I explain how picking one goal can It's the difference between hitting your goals and giving up.

Your self-concept is the thoughts you have about yourself. And it dictates everything. Whatever you believe is possible, or not, for you is based on your self-concept. Every goal you set is an attempt to change your self-concept. Meaning, you hope to achieve the goal to change how you view yourself. But the biggest life-hack is knowing that you can change your self-concept without having to achieve those goals first. In fact, learning to change your self-concept can help you achieve your goals faster. On today’s episode, I’m sharing how I’ve changed my self-concept and how you can too

This week’s podcast is my year in review. If you want to know how much money I made and how I made it last year… If you want to know the good, bad and the ugly (like how I had 2 of my worst launches EVER!)... If you want to know about some of the other things I was battling outside of work… Check out the episode today.

Last week on the podcast, we talked all about being open to the possibilities. Well, Dielle Charon is an example of what is possible. Starting out her career as a Social Worker, Dielle was doing something she loved but wasn’t making enough money to even cover her student loans. Realizing she needed to make additional income, she began her entrepreneurial journey on the side. She grew her coaching business to replace her income while working her full-time job and commuting 3-hours a day! She finally quit in 2020 and went from making $40,000 in her coaching business to making $1 million in 2022. Her story is simply incredible. Dielle is a certified life coach and 7 figure sales expert for WOC Coaches. She is the host of the Black, Banked, and Booked Out Podcast and runs two sales programs: Five Figure Freedom and Six Figure Liberation. Make sure to check out all of her amazing teachings here: Diellecharon.com/Podcast Diellecharon.com/free-training

Are you open to the possibility that things could be so much better than they are now? That you could have more time. More money More opportunities More creativity More connection More flexibility More of whatever you want If you're not open to that, ask yourself “why?” Because here is the unfortunate truth: If you’re not open to it, it won’t happen. In today’s episode, I’ll dive into: Check out the episode for more!

Right now can be a difficult time for many. With the announcement of tens of thousands of layoffs and the signs of a pending recession, it’s easy to fall into tons of negative thinking. While we can’t change the circumstances that we encounter in life… We can change how we respond to them. In fact, that’s the only thing we control. On today’s podcast, I dive into how you can reduce all the anxiety, stress, and frustration that comes along with uncertain times or difficult things in the world.

One of the main reasons I started this podcast was to show people stuck in the traditional corporate world just how many ways there were to make a living today. Too many people are stuck because they don't know that there is another way! Well, today's episode is another testament to all of the possibilities out there. I'm so excited to chat with the incredible Naja Hall about how she went from the entertainment industry to becoming a coach for Step Moms!! Naja is the founder of VIPStepmom, a community for stepmoms, and Blended and Black, the largest blended family community for Millenials. As a Certified Coach and Educator, she understands that the family is THE MOST influential entity of human development, and her work centers around helping individuals and families navigate some of life’s toughest transitions. As the host of a popular podcast, I know I’m Crazy with Naja Hall and author of the Girl, Bye! Book series, Naja’s life’s work is to teach empathy, accountability, and emotional intelligence through the art of story-telling and genuine human connections. She’s a Stepmom of 3. You can find her at blendedandblack.com and VIPStepmom.com

This week, I'm so excited to talk to my friend, Alexis Michaud. In continuing with our spotlight on guests who overcame uncertainty in the 2008 recession, Alexis was laid off from her high-paying job as a lawyer when she was pregnant and the breadwinner for her family! We talk all about how that turned out to be the biggest blessing because it changed her career path. Alexis was a tax and corporate law attorney for over 18 years in some of the most prestigious positions at large law firms and technology companies. But in 2018, after her father suffered some unexpected health issues, she knew it was time to walk away. She followed her passion for real estate even though everyone questioned her decision to leave such a successful career. Well, Alexis showed that you can be successful doing anything you want when she brought in more income in her first year as a realtor than she ever did as an attorney! In 2020 she decided to combine her legal and real estate skill sets and founded North Advisory Group, a company that acts as COO during a transition and relocation to the tax-free state of Nevada. She is such an inspiration and it's so cool to watch her navigate all the possibility that lies ahead!