Talking With Dr Toy

The past few series regarding imposter syndrome have addressed the what, the why, and the how. It is now time to begin the process of effectively managing imposter syndrome. Dr. Young states the first step entails honesty which can be a major hurdle to overcome. Honesty is vulnerable but necessary because ignorance and avoidance will not move individuals toward a process of effectively addressing the symptoms. It's difficult to treat something that is not identified so acknowledging it can be very empowering. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

There are many facets involved in seeking to understand the origins of imposter syndrome. Dr. Young states the makings of imposter syndrome may entail family origins and dynamics, personality traits such as neuroticism, low-self efficacy, perfectionism, transitions and new beginnings, and social anxiety. These aspects may inform some core beliefs and values individuals may hold about themselves which fuels imposter syndrome. Shame may also be one of the main culprits that keep individuals from exploring and managing imposter syndrome. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

According to Young, imposter syndrome may manifest in several ways such as agonizing over the smallest mistakes, self-doubt, constant self-criticism of one's own performance, and the constant fear of not living up to others or even one's own expectations. The weight and heaviness of this burden may induce symptoms of hypervigilance and a psychological toll on one's quality of life where life is reduced to living to work instead of working to live. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

Imposter syndrome has been defined as the "psychological experience of feeling like a fake or phony" where individuals doubt their abilities, skill set, intellect, or creativity to achieve a certain level of success. "Approximately 70 percent of Americans experience these invasive and negative thoughts" which can induce symptoms of anxiety and even depression. Dr. Valerie Young identifies 5 types of imposter syndrome: Perfectionist, expert, natural genius, soloist, and super person. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

Showing up authentically in places can be a daunting task especially while living in a culture that promotes comparisons, competition, and imitation. There's a message in the noise that conveys being oneself if not in alignment with society's, community's, and other's expectations; is unacceptable, a deficit, even a liability. Individuals may be encouraged to believe if they can't be everything to others; they are not anything to anyone. This induces wear and tear on individuals' psyche and self-perception. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

Resurrection Day is one of the most significant observances within Christianity. One of the most profound anchors is the belief of a Risen Savior. A passage of scripture proclaims that the same resurrection power resides in believers, however at times, seasons of stagnation may seem like a drought. The droughts may last so long that eventually visions fade and dreams die. May this day be a reminder that those things that lie dormant are ripe for resurrections. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

March is designated as Women's history month and it is with great gratitude and appreciation that I honor the women who have imparted so many treasures in my life. I believe many individuals have encountered the power and presence of women's contributions within their lives. Centering the voices and stories of women can be life giving and sustaining. As a society, it is essential to create safe spaces where these stories are cultivated, valued, and disseminated. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

Even in 2024 with so much progress of discussing, explaining, and addressing mental health issues, stigma and lack of understanding remain especially among ethically and diverse populations. It is unfortunate that some populations more than others have the latitude and empathy to discuss and address mental health symptoms. Mental health diagnoses do not define individuals' identities but so many perceive their character is flawed and they are deficient which often induces embarrassment and shame. As a society, much work remains in eradicating this stigma so individuals are liberated to receive the assistance they deserve without feeling guilty or ashamed. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

Matters of the heart most certainly include relationships. Community care is an important aspect of self-care and according to relational cultural theory--humans are wired for connection. Socially supportive relationships are good for the heart and overall physical health. However, challenges persist in individuals' capacity and ability to cultivate and nurture healthy relationships due to a number of reasons. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.

February is Heart Health Awareness Month. Matters of the heart entail the important task of taking care of your heart. The prevalence and disproportionate rates of cardiovascular disease among people of color, particular African Americans presents a tale of health disparities and social determinants of health. Social factors such as money, resources, living environment, and social networks are huge factors in shaping people's health. In fact, "Social factors put Black, Hispanic, and Tribal communities at a disadvantage." Individual and systemic changes are warranted. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

Black History Month represents an acknowledgement and celebration of culture and ethnic pride. However, when it comes to matters of the heart, colorism threatens and fragments aspects of identity, self-esteem, personality, and personhood especially for children. Mamie and Kenneth Clark's Black and White doll study provides evidence of internalized racism, shame, and self degradation at the tender age range of 3-7. We must be intentional about positively affirming, truth telling, and cultivating ethnic beauty and pride in our vulnerable children to counter the damaging narrative of erasure. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.

I received some unfortunate news regarding the recent death of a dear friend. It was unexpected and in my limited perspective, way too soon. Such deaths may bring one closer to their own mortality and existential questions loom regarding what is the meaning of life, does my life count or matter, and how am I showing up to others especially those whom I call friends? Although this is a new year, death continues to loom and we all must reckon with walking through the valley of the shadow of death. Life is indeed precious and if you haven't done so, please consider living, loving, laughing, and authentically connecting a bit more this year. For more information tune in www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

Masking emotions such as sadness and hurt, the constant need to stay busy, the appearance of having it all together and being outwardly strong while inwardly struggling to hold it together may indicate some signs of high functioning depression. The subtleties of these symptoms only serve to intensify the motivation for Sistahs to suffer in silence and perpetuate a never ending stream of strength to avoid any appearance of weakness. What's the cost of concealment versus crying for help? Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

I was speaking with a Black woman regarding depression and she stated that she felt weak because she was depressed. She stated that she often buries, avoids the feelings, or tells herself that "you don't have time for this and you should be able to get through this and keep it moving without feeling depressed." My questions, what are the origins of this internal dialogue and how in the world do women of color identify sources of healthy and culturally relevant affirmation and validation without attempting to receive that from their oppressors? It is systemic, intersectional, structural, and complex and it is literally draining and compromising the holistic health of women of color. Our very lives depend on taking care of our well-being. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.

Happy New Year! A clean slate, a redo, a reset, and a new beginning are associated with a new year. Many were glad to be done with 2023 and are considering the unknowns of this new year. Although there may be little influence with the unknowns; opportunities await with making life giving and life sustaining choices. Self-care, community care, and self-awareness are concepts worth exploring and investing in this year. Remember, you are worth the investment which requires intentionality, time, and energy. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

Love and belonging are needs listed in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Love and a sense of belonginess provide a sense of anchoring and connectedness that humanity desperately desires but simultaneously fears. Opening up to love and admitting a desire to belong is vulnerable and scary due to past hurts. Some may deny the need to belong or try to avoid experiencing love but it doesn't mean the need goes away. That heart space just remains starved and malnourished. A passage states that God is Love and that is good news. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

Core values are discovered which takes intentionality, reflection, and a nonjudgmental stance. Someone stated, "What you are doing equals to what you want in life." For some this statement holds some truth, for others it may create space for reflection because maybe what you're doing doesn't equal to what you truly want in life. Jeffery identifies several steps to discovering values which include: Discovery, activation, expression, prioritization, and self-care. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.

Value led living has been described as a means of being true to ourselves and a compass to making decisions that resonates with our beliefs. "Values aren’t selected; they’re discovered. We don’t choose our values. Our values reveal themselves to us." Values may inform our actions but it doesn't always mean our actions represent our values. According to Jeffrey's, sometimes we violate our values when they remain unknown therefore creating an inner tension that may induce incongruent and unhealthy behaviors. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.

Values have been defined as "an enduring belief upon which a person acts." Values have been described as "a compass that guides individuals toward their purpose whereby by connecting to and activating them daily induces nourishment, motivation, and fulfillment." How individuals invest their time may not be a true indicator of their authentic values so it begs the question. What are your values and are you living a value-led life? Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.

Perfectionism, rejection, and invalidation may be the root causes of the emotional distress people experience. Invalidation induces invisibility as well as a sense of rejection. Validating other's emotions entails finding a kernel of truth in someone's emotions, perspectives, and experiences. Emotional validation is a core aspect of maintaining healthy relationships with others as well with self. Tune into the podcast for more information www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.