Model Minority Moms

In this very special episode, we interview an anonymous guest about her experience going through a divorce - what led to the separation, how she and her ex handled things with their kids, all the extremely messy and hard ups and downs of the process and how she survived it all. Whether you are considering a divorce, want to support a friend going through divorce, or just want to hear a real-life, in-depth accounting of navigating the entire process, this episode is for women everywhere.

No, the other D-word (guess who wrote that one! :) In the first episode of this mini-series, we are talking about divorce. Hurtling into middle age, divorce seems to be popping up, silently but more frequently around us. We talk about the how we saw divorce in our own families growing up and how we think about divorce now. When do we work through it? When is enough enough? Where are our bright lines and non-negotiables? And what about the kiddos? Even though we are all thankful that divorce is a more viable option for many women (and men) in terrible relationships, deciding to get divorced and actually getting divorced seems anything but straightforward.

Since we were little girls, we got all kinds of messages - both direct and otherwise - about how we looked and how we should look. Even as full-grown women, those messages still echo loudly in our minds. We've had to evolve - sometimes painfully - to grow our confidence and embrace our appearance. As with so many issues, becoming moms has forced us to re-examine what we say to ourselves and our children about appearances, standards of beauty, and how to reconcile it all.

Does any other mom experience blinding anger on the regular? Anyone? Anyone? Ok, so no one right? Then this episode is for us (and for you if you know what we're talking about). We break down why the heck do we get SO mad sometimes, is it normal, is it bad and how to handle it when the anger pressure is building and we're about to blow.

In this very special episode, we bring you an exclusive interview with Susan Lieu, the author of the forthcoming book, the Manicurist's Daughter, available in bookstores on March 12th and available for pre-ordering now! It is already getting rave reviews from top outlets, including Publisher Weekly, Kirkus, Elle and Goodreads! Of course, if you listen to our podcast, you will know that Susan is also the co-host of our podcast and that's why we have this amazing opportunity to talk to her in an intimate and familiar forum. We are so so proud of this milestone for Susan and it's been an honor for us (Kate and Jeanette) to walk with her as she has been going through this 3-year journey of meeting her literary agent through her shows, writing a book proposal, selling it to Celadon/MacMillan, and writing draft after draft of her book to get it ready for the world. If you are a fan of our pod, please please place your pre-order today and enjoy the tidbits about the book in this episode. Sending hugs, Jeanette, Kate and Susan

As a mom, it can feel like you're running 24/7 and sometimes even that's not enough. If you can afford it or have people in your life who are available, many moms need help - help with childcare, help with cleaning, help with meals, help with laundry... heck, sometimes just an extra pair of hands to go get towels while your child is throwing up is invaluable. But getting help - whether paid or unpaid - is often more complicated and loaded than is generally acknowledged. Here, we deliver our honest take on getting help that we all desperately need.

Taking forever to put on shoes. Leaving toys on the floor. Refusing to come to dinner. Fighting with siblings. Sneaking a piece of forbidden candy. When the inevitable need for discipline crops up with our children, how do we react? As is frequently the case, so much of it is informed by how we ourselves were parented. Join us for a discussion of how we were (or weren't) disciplined growing up, how we are (trying) to approach discipline with our own children, and the struggle to reprogram our brains to react in a better way when the inevitable misbehaving happens.

What makes a good husband, a good boyfriend, can be a little different from what makes a good baby daddy, in our opinion. Combining our 15 years of child-rearing experience (don't ask us how we calculated that!), we share our highly non-expert opinion on what's important in a baby daddy.

Bloody, leaky, crampy, moody, inconvenient, embarrassing, painful... yet it's what allows us to create new human life. Yes, we are talking about our periods - what has been our relationship to Aunt Flo throughout our childhood, our teenage years, our young adulthood, trying to get pregnant, being pregnant, post-partum, up until now. How have we interacted with our parents, friends, partners, society at large and now, our kids with this messy yet vital part of life?

Invites, venue, food, cake, activities, goody bags. Presents or no presents? Invite whole class or just a select few? What's the budget for a three-year-old's birthday? Yup, we're talking about the thing that at a certain point in your parenthood journey, starts taking over your social calendar - kids' birthdays.

Providing better for our children than we had is a no-brainer. But how much is too much when it comes to the endless types of activities we can sign up for? How much of our intention to provide exposure and opportunities is more of a projection of our own insecurities? Are we talking about T-Ball or are we talking about trauma? And what’s even the point of all of these activities? All that juice and more.

If you were an overachieving child/ young adult, does it ever leave you entirely? What are the costs (and benefits) of being a perpetual overachiever? Do we secretly want our kids to overachieve though we're trying our best to present a chill demeanor? We bring the honest talk at a live recording at our beloved alma mater and poster child of overachievement, Harvard.

Ok, we are going there. You’re a working mom who is highly competent, driven, ambitious, well-credentialed and… you’re going to switch to a more flexible, lower-intensity career? Whaaat? It's a common and significant shift among many moms we know, but glossed over with shrugs, shame and a little chip on the shoulder. In MMM style, we unpack all the feelings around choosing to downshift your career as the lead parent–without gaslighting you.

Language is loaded. Preserving our mother tongue with ourselves and the decision (and labor!) of passing it down to our children is super complicated. We talk about what it means to feel like a “cultural orphan,” our aspirations for our kids when we were first pregnant, and the honest reality of how it’s going.

How do we actually know if a school is a “good” school for our kids? How do we actually get a spot? (spoiler: banana bread yields mixed results). How to manage transitions from a situation you and your kids know to something that is new? What if we feel like we made a mistake moving our kids to the new school at the first dropoff :( Here are the real stories and the real feels behind the happy first-day-of-school pics on IG.

So yeeeah… we were talking and we are back together. Nope, not with our exes, with our show. Why we disbanded, why we came back, and unpacking how restarting a thing is twisted in the fear of failure. Plus, a live recording opportunity in October!

Yep, you read that right. After publishing nearly 70 episodes over the last 2 years, we are wrapping up our show with one final episode. Tune in to hear how we came to this decision and our parting words to our dear listeners. The show is ending but you can still keep track of us. Feel free to follow us at: Jeanette: Instagram @acanary0 and website https://acanary.com Susan: Instagram @susanlieu and website https://www.susanlieu.me/ Kate: Instagram @wonderfulkatewang and website https://wonderfulkatewang.substack.com

Monosyllabic answers. Slammed doors. Huge messes. No, we're not talking about toddlers. We are talking about the other "t" word... teenagers. Believe it or not, like it or not, our chubby little angels will turn into angsty, horny, grumpy teenagers one day. We talk to Dr. Emily Kline, author of "The School of Hard Talks: How to Have Real Conversations with your (Almost Grown) Kids," about an important new book she's just written about the mindset and tools that parents should embrace to have maximal influence on their older children. If you liked the interview, you can order the book here: https://a.co/d/7TWaw3F

Are there any vacations any more post-kids? Or are there only trips now - a thing you do where you're not in your own home, where you don't have all the things that you've bought to make life a little easier, where your kids will sleep and eat less well? Do you need a vacation from your vacation? In this episode, Kate, Susan and Jeanette talk about the mindset shifts that have helped us enjoy 'vacations' more and how we think about them now with young children.

Do you miss those days when you could breeze into the airport 45 minutes prior to departure in your Uber and carry-on-only luggage? With diapers, pack n plays, strollers, wagons and more traveling with kids is different now, to say the least. In this episode, we share our learnings and tips of making traveling with kids a little less stressful (with the usual healthy dose of humor and occasional f-bomb :)