Thot Topics

Yeah I don't know what the fuck was in the giggle water this week but this is a particularly cracked out episode lmfao WELCUM 2 THE JUNGLE! The girls return to discuss matters of utmost importance with international implications. As we pregame for the Nicki Minaj concert and spread our passports wet 'n' wide for entry to Gag City, we pay ten dollars to get in the ball and take a closer look at what the world is up to... First, we discuss the rates of LGBTness among Gen Z high schoolers, and the New York Times (I think? LOL) report that it's mostly girls saying that they are bisexual. Then, we discuss the Normal Middle Class Guy TikTok and unpack what makes straight men so drawn to the grindset. Last but CERTAINLY not least, we unpack the imminent opening of JOHNSON'S the male strip bar set to replace Berlin in Boystown, and the fuming gogo boys involved. Pretty messy! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. We munch trade for dollars on Patreon. Don't forget to sign up for access to our new weekly bonus show for patronz!!

**PATRONS ONLY** Welcome to the Thot Topics Brewhouse, where children and dogs alike will be killed immediately upon entry. Can we offer you a Michelob Ultra draft? The girls return to the booth for a vital tribunal on all the issues facing a young woman in the world today: SSRIs, feline dental health, immune system support, desktop gaming, marijuana legislation, HIV that turns into AIDS, and so much more. But naturally that's not all: we also discuss the photo that sent all kinds of totally normal people into a frenzy this week, in which dogs are allowed and human children are banned. What's our stance on all of that? We attempt to form a cogent thought. We also discuss Lanachella, and whether or not its okay to be happy that "skinny Lana is back." As Ozempic users and believers, our two cents are worth a million cents. And paying sisters: STAY TUNED in a few days for the debut of ON SECOND THOT, our xxxclusive bonus show that will now be a weekly staple in your current membership <3 Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Help fund Apple's oral health on Patreon.

The jury finds you in contempt of CUNT! Now it's time to SERVE! Welcome back to central booking at Thot Topics Regional Penitentiary. All fines will be processed to the window on your left, and visitation will be found to your right. Oh, you're here for a conjugal visit? Right this way, ma'am... This week, the girls convene on several matters of utmost importance-- sucking in your stomach, food safety, atomic habits, Joker 2, and so much more. We also do a quarter-year checkin on our most-streamed music: what's hot on the charts in our apartments and on TouchTunes? Much appreciation abounds for the arts. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Bail us out on Patreon.

You better worm girl! We're BACK for a lovely special springtime episode. (But really, aren't they ALL special?) This is a girls chat of VITAL importance: we really put our thinking boobs on for this one! We discuss everything on God's Green, from LESBIANS to DUNE 2 to what may be the FINAL DAYS OF THE TIKTOK TOP 50. Do you love the way we work it? HEY LADIESSS!!! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Back it up and dump it on Patreon.

**PATRONS ONLY** Four goddamn American dollars get you access to full-length bonus episodes AND... new surprises coming soon :) Hold onto your whorses because it's time for another riveting episode of THOT TOPICS! We're back after losing or breaking literally every single piece of recording equipment we owned and are ready to begin a new chapter of excellence in inbreastigative reporting. This week, the girls discuss the Nickelodeon sex pest documentary QUIET ON SET and pick out a bra to throw on stage at The Wiggles On Ice. Then, they unpack Beyonce's new rootin'-tootin' country girl persona and forthcumming album COWBOY CARTER. Did black people invent country? Honest question we really don't know. And last but not least, we talk about whether drag kings should be cast on Drag Race-- per the sage words of Naysha Lopez, the greatest showman. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Fight for what's right on Patreon.

The block is hot-- and we're about to turn it into the Summer of 69! (If you catch our drift...) Welcome back to the Thot Topics Studios where we are prepared to begin a new chapter of our happy little lives. We begin with a lengthy girly little chitchat about the simple joys of our young sprightly bouncy lives. We also reluctantly check in on the current season of Drag Race and the state of whale sex. Later on, we enter a ruthless battle of wits by answering famous questions from ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A FIFTH GRADER. From biology to math, we break new barriers in teen intellect and capture it live on air. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Don't be a bummer on Patreon.

**PATRONS ONLY** Subscribe to the Patreon at patreon.com/thottopics. Wooohoo... YEEEEEEEEEEhoo!!!!! It's a leap year and you know what that means: there's one more day 'til the rent is due, pookie! Now, PUMP THE BEAT! First, we do a little bit of girly chitchat-- the weather was beautiful and the vibes were ERRATIC to say the least, so there was much to be discussed. What masculine traits are displayed in gay guys? Is there such thing as an Indian elephant? All will be revealed in the fullness of time. Then, the main event: we comb through a master list of classic pop album covers and rank them on a scale from "galactic slay" (decided by the gay guy who made the TierMaker list) and GUTTER BOOTS! We share rare insights on Kesha, Carly Rae Jepsen, Cardelia B, and many more-- it's a classic Thot Topics romp. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Feel yummy head to toe on Patreon.

Hold on to your cloaca, cuz it's gonna be a bumpy ride!! We convene to discuss the state of The Bimbo: is her time finally over? Have the powers of the bimbo fallen into the wrong hands, exploited for her comically large breasts for TikTok cred? WHO can be trusted with the pure heart of the Bimbo... and how many must die... Naturally that's NOT all: we "review" Kim Petras's new uhh project SLUT POP MIAMI; and get to the bottom of the Ayesha Erotica situation. We really speak our minds about COUNTRY MUSIC and "WHO IS REALLY COUNTRY." And? We discuss the reproductive behaviors of birds... Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Isnta @th0tstarsxo. Smoke our cubana on Patreon.

In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially slaynous. In Boystown Chicago, the medicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as Thot Topics. These are their stories. We're back in business-- silly us, we were standing on it the whole time! We use our journalistic skills to unpack the Nicki Minaj vs Megan Thee Stallion situation. Using the latest technological advancements in forensic science, we get to the bottom of the truth honey. Not only that, but we're here to discuss the Ice Spice Conundrum, tax season, gay jealousy, and many more crowd pleasers. Love you! 🧠 GET 75% OFF A MAGIC MIND SUBSCRIPTION WITH OUR XXXCLUSIVE CODE! Head to magicmind.com/JanThotTopics and use the code TTOPICS20. Open that mind wide baby! 🧠 ⭐️💋 GET 20% OFF OF YOUR FIRST PURCHASE WITH JOYMODE SEXUAL PERFORMANCE BOOSTERS! HIT usejoymode.com/thottopics and use code THOT20. ⭐️💋 Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and bail us out on Patreon.

**FULL EPISODE FOR PATRONS ONLY** PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS Polizia! Help! I've been Margot ROBBED! We'd like to thank God, the Academy, and most importantly Dr. Pepper for their unwavering support in the making of this podcast. We simply couldn't have done it without you. We know we're supposed to wrap it up, but we also need to express our gratitude to this week's topics: BLUE LIVES, AAVE, BARBIE, FEMINISM, THE POD, THE BUGS, DOORDASH, THE 96TH ACADEMY AWARDS AND ITS DECORATED NOMINEES, THE TIKTOK TOP 50, and more that we're forgetting to mention but believe us when we say our journey would not be the same without you. You know who you are. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Give us a standing ovaysh on Patreon.

**PATRONS ONLY** BRRR! It's cold in here! Must! be! Thot Topics in the ATmosphere! I SAID BRRRRR!!! Welcome one and all to the Thot Topics Plus-Sized Situation Room where several key talking points simply MUST be discussed for the good of our great nation. First, we circle back on corporate speak in the workplace: can we jump on a call and get crunktina? THEN, it's a rapidfire round. HAIR: Who's got it? Who wants it? Who's losing it? Who's growing it? All is revealed. (Especially our hairlines.) PRONOUNS: What's ze freakin' zeal?? OZEMPIC: Did it give, or did it not? Let it be muthafuckin' hot. We also chat about Ariana Grande's new single-- and brand new BMI! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC. Warm our winter bosoms on Patreon.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEEENNN WELCOME TO GYPSY ROSE NIGHT AT TAO SPONSORED BY CASAMIGOS TEQUILAAAAAAAAA!!!! EVERYBODY THROW SOME MONEY RIGHT NOW EVERYBODY THROW SOME MONEY RIGHT NOW It's time to be a WHORE in twenty twenty FOUR! In our first episode of the new year, we get straight to business. That's right: we're talking about CONDOMS. Is there such a thing as "safe sex"? How much is too much when it comes to CUM, HUH? Also: we celebrate the return of Gypsy Rose Blanchard to polite society and discuss the psychological impact of True Crime on the female brain. We also make some predictions for the new year, and make our stance on the word 'handsome' as clear as crystal. Not THAT kind of crystal, Miss Tina... Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Instagram @th0tstarsxo. We're still gonna need a TOP on Patreon.

Non-paying girls... we're taking a Christmas sabbatical to truly give our hearts to the Reason For The Season, but in the meantime, PLEASE enjoy this episode from beyond the paywall... talk to you soon girly! Hey girl, can we circle back? To CRACK!? Calling all micromanagers, office drones, and watercooler sisters-- we are taking it out of the workplace and into your face this week as we recap Nick's week from hell. The girls wallow in some warm and wet misery, but fear not-- we wore tankinis! But it's not all doomington and gloomington sweetheart. It's Spotify Wrapped Day, so we do each of our Top 10 countdowns to share the biggest hits in our apartments this year. Kiss you miss you! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tcels. Put the in TOP in unemployment on Patreon.

**PATRONS ONLY** FULL AXXXESS AT PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS These bitches fuck E V E R Y B O D Y We're truly tickled to welcome back the talents of the one and only Zach Langley Chi Chi to the Thot Topics Plus Size Creators Regional Headquarters! We've called an emergency conference to discuss what is perhaps the year's most critical event: the release of Nicki Minaj's PINK FRIDAY 2. This is the most in-depth coverage on the subject you're going to find anywhere, lovingly crafted by the industry's leading sexperts. Stick with your sisters, cuz in the end, it's JUST the memories... Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC on Twitter. Spend another bag on our BODY on Patreon. Follow Zach on Twitter @asukahomo and subscribe to I'M SO POPULAR on Patreon.

It's 10 P.M... do you know where your sistas are? Right here silly! Welcome back to the hotline wing of the Thot Topics Megaplex, where we're convening to settle the nation's most pressing questions. We take voicemails from our beloved listeners-- women and gay guys and all in between-- and do our best to set them on the path to suckcess. And we've got some VERY interesting dilemmas this time around: What's the easiest sport to learn about so you can be relatable to straight men? How do you control your anger when everyone is a goddamn faggot? Should situationships be avoided across the board? What's the best way to cope with the morning after being the drunkest person at the function? We wouldn't steer you wrong... would we?? TRY MAGIC MIND PRODUCTIVITY SHOTS WITH THE EXXXCLUSIVE THOT TOPICS CODE "TT20" AT MAGICMIND.COM/NICKANDCRIS FOR 20% OFF ANY PURCHASE OR 56% OFF ANY SUBSCRIPTION. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Join our party line on Patreon.

**PATRONS ONLY** THROW AN UNEMPLOYED HO A BONE AT PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS Hey girl, can we circle back? To CRACK!? Calling all micromanagers, office drones, and watercooler sisters-- we are taking it out of the workplace and into your face this week as we recap Nick's week from hell. The girls wallow in some warm and wet misery, but fear not-- we wore tankinis! But it's not all doomington and gloomington sweetheart. It's Spotify Wrapped Day, so we do each of our Top 10 countdowns to share the biggest hits in our apartments this year. Kiss you miss you! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tcels. Put the in TOP in unemployment on Patreon. LAST CALL FOR THOTLINE VOICEMAILS AND TEXTS! (312) 772-2592.

More like Tate McGay... more like... Bate... McSlay... Uhhh We're BACK! And we came on this bitch mad as hell... things are changing in the Thot Topics Universe and it's NOT LOOKING GOOD, BITCH! After a little bit of career ranting and general sisterly catch-up, we segue into the hawtest topics of the week. First, we diagnose the Tate McRae situation: is she the real megadiva servalicious giver? Or is it nothing more than a hair show?! Plus, how do you really *tell* if a pop star is a STAR or just some girl in a little outfit? Tinashe is discussed, buyer beware. Secondly, we talk about Billie Eilish's claim that women don't care about guys' physical appearance and "accept them for who they are inside." As gay guys regularly invited into girls talks, we report from INSIDE THE HOUSE. Last, we talk about TikTok zoomers discovering Osama Bin Laden's open letter to America and talk about whether we even *like* America-- and why... I know we said we wouldn't get political again but I felt called... LADIES! CALL THE THOTLINE BEFORE DEC. 1ST WITH YOUR MOST PRESSING PERSONAL ISSUES, HOT TAKES, AND MORE! LEAVE US A VOICEMAIL OR TEXT US IF YOU MUST-- BUT WE'D LOVE TO HEAR YOUR VOICE! (312) 772-2592. SUBSCRIBE TO THE $10 PATREON TIER OR ABOVE BEFORE DEC. 1 TO RECEIVE GLITTER STICKERS IN THE MAIL! MAKE SURE YOUR MAILING ADDRESS IS ON YOUR ACCOUNT AND TOGGLED TO SHARE WITH US. SHOT GLASSES & PINT GLASSES ARE NOW AVAILABLE IN THE MERCH STORE! Buy yourself some Magic Mind with the exclusive sisterly discount! Go to magicmind.com/nickandcris and use the code TT20 for 20% off any single purchase or 56% off any subscription!

**PATRONS ONLY** JOIN THE CLURB AT PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS. Pass the cranberry sauce and open wide cuz this ain't your mother's Thanksgiving hoe! We hope you left room for dessert! Oooooooh! We're joined in the house of merry-making by returning guest and sista of the pod Morgan to discuss all things turkeylicious and festive. We recognize it's a little early but we were really in the Giving mood, okayyy?? We discuss our holiday wishlists, Dula Peep's new single, "Taylor's Version," the psychology of straight men wanting a finger in the ass, and sooo much more. Apologies for the weird audio quality on this one y'all, it'll be fixed next week! Terminally yours, Thot Topics FOLLOW THE GIRLS ON TWITTER @VLRTUALBOY AND @YOURE2BASIC, and the official POD INSTA @TH0TSTARSXO. Get us a Christmas gift on Patreon. (Why the elephant gotta be WHITE?!)

BEND THAT ASS OVER! LET THAT COOCHIE BREATHE! SHAKE THAT ASS BITCH! HANDS ON YA KNEES! We're back in the booth and better than ever-- as we enjoy some lovely iced cafecitos and prepare for a night out on the town, we turn to the good people at Billboard to take another look at the TikTok Top 50. A LOT has changed since our last check-in on the chart. Naturally, we do what we do best and take a delicate rectal thermometer to the culture and spoiler alert: IT'S HOT! Naturally, that's not all: we reflect on Nicki MInaj's album rollout, how it feels to listen to old episodes of the pod several years onward, Harry Potter (?) and so much more... Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. USE PROMO CODE "TT20" AT MAGICMIND.COM/NICKANDCRIS FOR 20% OFF ANY SINGLE PURCHASE, OR OVER 50% OFF OF A SUBSCRIPTION!

**FULL EPISODE AVAIL FOR PATRONS. SORRY, WE MISSED A PAID WEEK AND HAVE TO GIVE THE PAYING GIRLS SUMTHIN. JOIN IN!** One Naysha Lopez, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all... We're back after an accidental week off so we're giving the reins over to the girls at home to decide what absolutely NEEDS to be settled once and for all. We talk about The Pick-Me's Dilemma, Britney's memoir THE WOMAN IN ME, whether you would feel some type of way if your top made less money than you, Skims for Men, May December, Saltburn, and SOOOOO much more! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod insta @th0tcels. Join the battle to release us from our cuntserveatorship on Patreon.