Blue Balls NYCFC

Blue Ballers, we are feeling FRESH AND FROSTY after our first road win in — a year?? against a feisty Toronto FC with a lot to say. Jake and Trey waste no time in breaking down the Toronto Tunnel Tiff in as much grisly detail as we've got — which is to say, not much! Then, some actual soccer. A 3-2 victory away gives us much to celebrate and MUCH to analyze with major showings from ascendant Pigeons. Plus a bonus recap of NYCFC II's latest Open Cup upset, and precaps of Philly and Red Bulls abound. Ice those (moose) knuckles — you've got Blue Balls!

Folks, NYCFC crashed into a soggy wall out in Queens this weekend to fall to a hobbled Colorado 0-2. Jake and Trey don't want to be talking about it, but talk about it they do — complete with all the segments you've come to expect. Freese praise, Bakrar banter, a Santi survey, Jovanvestigations. Your boys in blue are playing the hits! PLUS: a Maxi-valuation on the Spiderman's return, and an eye towards ascension for the insurgent Baby Blues who take the field TONIGHT against another Colorado team. THEN: we get no-nonsense on the northern border for a Toronto precap. Un-bunch your shorts when you're crossing the Peace Bridge: you've got Blue Balls.

With three wins and five unbeaten, NYCFC just might be back folks — and your Boys in Blue are here to tell you how, why, and when it all happened. Jake and Trey break down a messy but massive 2-1 redemption win over Charlotte that saw goals from a gorgeous Big Bird header and wunderkind Alonso, plus our usual Freese flowers, nods to the wings, and some love to Bakrar stretching ever closer to the end of his dry spell. Plus: an overdue review of the Blue Twos, some not-quite locker room talk, and a nasty little precap of a Colorado visit to cap off our home run. I wouldn’t hike in those shorts — you’ve got Blue Balls.

Wonder of wonders, is NYCFC good now? A 2-0 victory against DC United would seem to press the question as Nick Cushing extends his lossless streak and Santi Rodriguez and Julian Fernandez both expand their accounts. We talk both goals, of course, plus effective team play, a broken-hearted Bakrar, Martens mania and the defense that contained the uncontainable in Benteke, and much more. Plus: Trey Goes To The Mayor, a site visit to the Valley of Ashes, and a goodbye to a wunderkind NYCFC transfer sleuth and twitter personality. Then: a quick n' dirty Charlotte precap for a big round two against size queens The Crown. Make sure to do your kegels — you've got Blue Balls.

INCOMING! Something different on the pod this week? Jake & Trey wake up to find they have a WIN to celebrate and deconstruct, and some actual NYCFC momentum to analyze and ballyhoo. Your boys in blue talk Agustin Ojeda's nasty little account opener, a deepening defensive fight, Big Bird's bedrock balls, and much more. Plus: Open Cup prognostications, Concacaf Champions conversations, and stadium vote machinations. Then: a dirty discussion of the District before this weekend's Acela matchup against DC United. Time at last to put away those winter digs; you've got Blue Balls.

Draw 2, back in the habit, and Jake and Trey are here to make it sacreligious with a savvy and incisive recap of a 1-1 draw against a threatening Atlanta at home. We talk stretched midfields, Katy Perrys, whiffs of goals and wiffs at goals, and so much more. Plus: tales from the press box, mumbles around Mijatovic, and of course a prompt precap of fellow basement dwellers New England. Invest in some Gen Z baggy jeans — you’ve got Blue Balls.

Blue Ballers, this one's for you. New York City FC returns this week having stolen a point from the big pink menace in Miami, featuring a first MLS goal and first MLS start for Alonso Martinez and some more-or-less remarkable performances elsewhere. Jake & Trey break down how the team stacks up against noted psychopath Luis Suarez and whether the momentum is breaking in the right direction. THEN: Maxime's maxim: more MLS! AND: The baby blues beat the baby bulls to pull into round 3 of the US Open Cup! FINALLY: a quick n' dirty preview of our return to Yankee Stadium against Atlanta. Crack open a window into your trash alley and air 'em out — you've got Blue Balls.

Blue ballers, we won't lie to you — there's no lipstick available for this pig! A mighty but ultimately outmatched effort from New York City FC left us with zero points away at a highly dominant Cincinnati. Jake and Trey break down the conflicted feelings following this match — was it good? was it shit? was it both? — and talk what we can learn about City when the City gets thin. We chat the Acosta goal, the state of the injury list, and the overperformers and the underachievers. THEN: to leagues and sides with a little more joy! We chat the Team USA Nations League winners, the young guns who be BLAZING in the Open Cup, and check in in Trey's March Madness bracket status. Plus: a nervous precap of potential points in Miami ("so you're saying there's a chance?"). Grab a mojito and a ham panini and stretch your legs out; you've got Blue Balls.

After a gratifying 2-1 victory against visiting Toronto, your Blue Ballers are feeling Hot N' Ready to breakdown some good news, for once. Jake and Trey slice up the first victory of the season, including Santi's centrality, Bakrar's hunger and panic for goal, stud Keaton Parks' studs-up challenge, and more. Then: a check-in with Gotham FC as the NWSL season kicks off, Pep Guardiola's on the hot stove, and a senseless preview of a match against Cincinnati with complicated personnel issues. Apply podcast directly to forehead and nowhere else; you've got Blue Balls.

Back in the saddle and twice as pissed, your boys in blue are back to recap the degradation kink demo that was New York City FC’s first ever home opener loss to the very Portland Timbers. One goal from Santi Rodriguez was not enough for the boys to bask in, and scared coaching left us scratching our heads as the Timbers knocked two past our timbs to leave us pointless (and pointless) in three matches. Plus: branding, media mumbles, and stadium renderings. And: a precap of the return of Seannie Johnny and Toronto. Make sure to wear your loosest jacket; it’s warming up and you’ve got Blue Balls.

Welcome back Blue Ballers. You're not gonna like the way we looked — I guarantee it. Our second match of the season yielded no points and no goals, continuing an abysmal streak away and resetting a sense of dread that will surely remain until at least one ball finds the back of the net. Will that happen this week at home? Jake and Trey break down the suffering in St. Louis to try and find out. Plus: Open Cup discussion, labor solidarity, and Balls On The Media. And finally, a little Portland precap before the home opener on Saturday. Will we catch you there? If so - make sure you come correct: you've got Blue Balls!

Welcome to the end of the blue decade, Blue Ballers, and the beginning of SEASON TEN of NYCFC madness, brought to you by your own Boys in Blue. A special salute to the ballers who've been with us since the Obama Era, through thick and thin, from Kreis to Cup -- this one's for you. But that's about as triumphant as we're getting this time around, because NYCFC is back to their old tricks and we don't mean that in a good way. Jake & Trey break down our few-shots-on-goal 90 against Charlotte FC and break down what's changed and what hasn't from our abortive 2023 campaign. Plus: Gabe Segal nabs a highlight reel moment for Houston. Then: a pessimistic precap of St. Louis. Wait 20 minutes before going into the silk bath -- you've got Blue Balls.

Shake off those blue suede shoes and get ready for action -- because it's very nearly Season Ten and Blue Balls is BACK! Jake & Trey tie a bow onto a banner preseason featuring some of the most exciting new blues in YEARS. We chat J's three ways, with Jovan, Ojeda, and Jones all getting the Blue Balls treatment. And then: glory of glories, it's the annual over/under. Follow along at home to find out how you did at the end of the year. Plus a little Charlotte FC preview, as a treat. Get that icepack where you know it belongs -- you've got Blue Balls.

Just when you thought we were out, they pull us back in again! The season is hot incoming and at long last there's some NYCFC news to report on, piece apart, celebrate, and bitch about -- so you know your Boys in Blue are hunting down the scoops as transfer rumors become transfer realities. Jake and Trey break down one confirmed signing and two likely new Pigeons, plus contract extensions and what it all means for NYCFC's strategy and vibe in the 2024 season. Plus: choo choo! the train is pulling into SPECULATION STATION on the Tallest Mango's future in blue. Grip and rip, baby -- you've got Blue Balls.

(alt. title: Madame B-Over-y & One H-Under-ed Years Of Solitude) We made it, folks. We staggered our way through this rocky season, careening from road loss to road loss, searching always for some sliver of hope. And in doing so, we saw a lot. Trades, sales, ups, downs, debuts and departures -- wretched record or not, this was an eventful ninth NYCFC season and your Boys in Blue are here to recap it for you via our perennial favorite, the Over/Under Review Pod! That's right ballers, Jake and Trey blow the dust off the old Over/Under records from last year and determine who had the predictive touch for this sadly predictable season. Follow along and determine which of your friends owes everyone Chipotle! PLUS: options exercised and declined, the stove gets hotter, and moves are still happening in this and other leagues. The season's over but we're still kicking, so lace up your boots and unbutton your jeans -- you've got Blue Balls!

Blue Ballers, we've been in better moods. We're staring down the end of an ignominious season and wondering where it all went wrong. SO we called in the experts. The Sports Expert, in fact! Max Reinhardsen joins the podcast to unpack the season and give his wisdom and perspective on the state of MLS today. Then: we deep dive on Trey's profound moral dilemmas as he assembles his ballot for the league MVP and league Best XI. Stretch out your hammies, you've got EXTRA Blue Balls.

A brutal return to unfortunate form has Jake and Trey in their cups unpacking what went wrong, what stayed right, and who’s to blame for a lackluster and largely toothless performance against a DC United that should have easily been untied. Plus, to get us out of the doldrums, some USMNT and NWSL chat. And finally, what we can do against Chicago to make use of our sorry six percent. Untie those nooses and drain your bathtubs - you’ve got Blue Balls.

Your blue-balled fellas are back at it again, taking you down the green mile to playoff ignominy. Jake and Trey talk about a trying evening of soccer, from the wizardry of DP Santi Rodriguez to the unfinished business of Mounsef Bakrar, to the head-scratching header that cost NYCFC both the three points it looked on track to earn AND control of its destiny. A frustrating tie if ever there was one. THEN: Stadium chat! Jake and Trey sound off about The Outfield's latest on the newest development developments. PLUS: a DC precap to raise hairs. Don't shave too aggressively in the shower - you've got Blue Balls.

We're not foolin' around. After a brutal summer, NYCFC is officially above the playoff line and your Boys in Blue are here to break down exactly how it happened. Jake and Trey do another three-prong thriller covering an anodyne Hudson River derby, and two shock blitz wins totaling five nasty goals. We hit the new boys, the old boys, and all the blue boys in-between. You won't believe how much we leave out. And then, right around the corner? A little team called Inter Miami. Crack your knuckles and your cold ones -- you've got Blue Balls.

(or: Wake me up, before Chanot Go) Blue Ballers, we know it can be painful to listen to this podcast when things are going so wrong, but your boys in blue pulled it together to sit down and recap the last three matches and all associated dramas, and so you can do your part and give us the play count. Jake and Trey run through themes and thoughts on the four points we pulled from three matches in our quixotic pursuit of a playoff berth. Despite everything, there's some interesting data to mine here -- particularly at the feet of the newbies. But give way we must, and give way we do to a painful goodbye to an NYCFC all-timer, an untimely injury for a homecoing hero, and a bittersweet departure of a striker that could have been. Plus: the yearning for three in a precap of the Red Bulls Saturday match. Did you leave the cap off your pen? You've got Blue Balls.