Enough, the Podcast

Episode 74: Overcoming Psychological Exhaustion, with Rosie Nixon You’re not completely burnt out, or incapacitated by work, but you know that something’s not quite right. Perhaps you’re more tired than usual, or you’re having other niggling signs, but you carry on. These things pass; they always do – until they don’t. That’s what happened to Rosie Nixon, author, coach, and former editor of Hello! magazine, whose career — however covetable and glamorous — was starting to feel too much. Rosie shares the pivotal moment when she knew something had to change. What followed was her getting signed off work and a diagnosis of Psychological Exhaustion (she takes us into that doctor’s appointment and shares what she learned). We get into Rosie's journey of separating her identity from Hello! magazine, and how she’s navigating her drive with a desire for a more spacious, values-driven life in her late 40s. Real, raw, and radically practical. Links: Rosie Nixon’s website. Guardian article on breaking the burnout cycle. Telegraph article we refer to (subscription required). Rosie Nixon on Instagram. Mandy Lehto on Instagram.

Episode 73: Unlearning Silence with Dr. Elaine Lin Hering Have you ever received the feedback to “speak up” at work? Say more in meetings. Turn up the volume. It sounds so easy but speaking up isn’t always that straightforward – or welcomed. Today’s guest is Elaine Lin Hering, author of Unlearning Silence: How to speak your mind, unleash talent and lead with courage. She’s been a lecturer at Harvard Law School, and a Managing Partner at a global leadership development firm. Elaine’s clients have included Nike, Google and Pixar. We deep-dive into silence — how we silence ourselves, how we silence others, and how it’s baked into the system. You’ll learn that there’s often good reason to stay silent in some corporate situations — politics, power dynamics, challenging individuals. Un-silencing yourself can be especially challenging if you’re not from the dominant culture... This conversation feels like master-class--meets mentoring--meets real life coaching session. We discuss: A scenario where an executive feels publicly undermined by her boss, and his feedback (when she brings it up) is to increase her confidence and toughen up. A scenario where a senior executive has helped a new colleague and shared her client base, and now he’s getting all the visibility (she doesn’t feel she’s one to speak up and address it). A newly promoted Partner feels like the token woman on the senior leadership team…Have they only promoted me because I’m female? LINKS: Elaine Lin Hering’s website and book Elaine on LinkedIn Mandy on LinkedIn

If you’ve ever achieved a big goal, was it everything you’d hoped? Probably not. Callum Wilson dreamt of representing England’s national rugby team since he was a kid, but when it happened, it didn’t change his life the way he’d hoped. Sidebar: This is NOT an episode about rugby. It’s a powerful, tender conversation about how a tattooed, 113kg overachiever handled “arrival fallacy” – the concept that if we just achieve that big goal, THEN we’ll be happy. You’ll learn why diversifying your “goal portfolio” can create a positive shift, and how to handle the negative inner chatter when it insists you’re not enough. Links: Callum Wilson on LinkedIn. NYT article on Arrival Fallacy, with Dr Ben-Shahar

You’ve heard of burnout, but ever heard of bore-out? Apparently, it’s a leading cause of why people leave their jobs. I’m not talking about things feeling a bit drab. I’m talking about the loss of meaning in your work, and the adverse effects this can have on your mental and physical wellbeing. As you become more senior, maybe your days are full of admin, politics, and none of the juicy stuff that used to light you up. In today’s episode you’ll meet Kristi Turner, a former tech CMO, whose work stress was mainly due to boredom. Kristi took a pause from work, had a “Soulbbatical” (more on this in the episode), and found a new-found vigour to re-enter the corporate in a way that felt more aligned with her values. You’ll also meet Shelley Paxton, former CMO of Harley Davidson and founder of the Soulbbatical, who gives you some techniques to tackle bore-out – no resignation letter required. Pacey and practical, you’ll leave this episode tooled up, and (hopefully) enlivened. Join us! Links: Kristi Turner’s website. Shelley Paxton’s website. Soulbbatical book. Brené Brown’s list of values. Forbes article: Why boredom at work is more dangerous than burnout. BBC article with Dr Lotta Harju’s comments. Mandy Lehto on Instagram.

Do you have BLS? (Beige Leadership Syndrome). I just made that up, but it’s a thing. If you work in corporate, you know the meetings that are soda-cracker dry. The BS buzzwords. The slow death by Power Point. The lack of relatable, inspiring leaders at the top. What gives? Enter Erin Hatzikostas, ex-CEO turned author, TEDx speaker, podcaster and coach-sultant. We talk about how to start practicing authentic leadership, and before you roll your eyes, or think you know what that means, strap in for the ride. This is authenticity as you’ve never experienced it. You’ll leave with some radically practical ways to experiment with authentic leadership, and a new, life-changing tool: the 50% rule. I think I can safely say, this episode will rid the corporate world of BLS. Join us. You career will thank you. Links: Erin Hatzikostas’s website. Please watch her cool 2min video! Erin on LinkedIn. Mandy on LinkedIn. Me on Erin’s podcast (episode 233).

Dr Jeff Spencer is the man behind more than forty Olympic gold medals, and stellar performances by Tiger Woods, Lance Armstrong, and many other elite performers who are household names. In today’s conversation, you’ll get a sneak peek at some of the techniques Jeff uses with them. Hint, hint – it’s NOT more striving or hyper-focus. You’ll learn to do “Chameleon Eyes”, a process that opens more opportunities and more of your untapped potential. You’ll also learn to shift gears from striving into receivership, and how “resonant recognition” can be a new navigation system in your life. This is especially important as you leave your 30s, the decade of “conquest and acquisition.” Wise, experienced, and just the right amount of intense, Jeff will challenge how you go about success. Links: Dr Jeff Spencer’s website. Jeff on LinkedIn. Mandy Lehto on LinkedIn. Dr David Yudis on LinkedIn. David Brooks’ book, The Second Mountain.

Want to learn the real deal on your inner critic from a Stanford-trained neuroscientist? You’re in luck. Today’s guest is Dr Irene Salter, whose inner critic (named Draco) was taking too much airtime in Irene’s life. You’ll hear Irene’s hypothesis on where the inner critic comes from. Then she takes us through a real-life scenario of how she turned the volume down on Draco. You’ll learn about popcorn brain – and my favourite part of the episode, how to connect with your subconscious brain to find out what the heck is going on with that inner voice and the extreme behaviours it demands of you. Lab coats at the ready. Links: Microsoft research on short breaks for your brain Dr Irene Salter’s website Irene on Instagram Mandy on Instagram

When work isn’t working, it’s easy to question yourself, “Why can’t I hack it? What’s wrong with me?” Maybe you’re feeling stagnant, exhausted, or even burnt out. Is it a capacity issue or are you high net growth? (stay tuned for what that means). I’m in conversation with award-winning author and podcaster, Jenny Blake. During her career at Google, she looked at her management and thought, “I don’t want that job.” If you’re languishing, and can’t see a way forward, what do you do? Jenny offers a refreshing perspective on our obsession with promotions, and what she calls “the sea of shiny shoulds.” You’ll learn about project-based purpose, how you can “turn into a goo” after leaving a company that has brand halo, and why an energy audit can be a big reveal. Join us. Links: Jenny Blake on Substack Pivot podcast episode with Mandy Lehto Article on Languishing NYT article on Languishing, Adam Grant (subscription required)

If you love an act of kindness, this episode is gonna feel like lowering yourself into a hot mug of chocolate, with itty bitty marshmallows. Acts of kindness have proven health effects, but I’ve also noticed something else. They are a splendid antidote to feeling self-critical, not enough, and being too zoomed in on your own inner world. This episode originally aired in 2021, and I loved it so much, I wanted to give it a second life. I asked a bunch of guests back to the pod to share a collection of acts of kindness – either given or received – and the impact it had on them. Warm fuzzies guaranteed. Links: BBC article with University of British Columbia research.

Former litigator (and firefighter) Shannon Sedlacek is back by popular demand. She featured in episode 53, one of the most downloaded episodes of the year. She’s back to share what happened to her identity when she was forced to leave her impressive job. She shares how her sense of self shifted so dramatically, that at one point, she didn’t even want to be alive. She also shares the two things that helped her transcend those difficult times. You’ll hear a cameo from a previous guest. You’ll also hear what I learned from a man in burgundy robes that messed with my thinking. If you’re highly identified with your job, but know deep down that you have a tough choice ahead, this episode is for YOU. Links: Shannon Sedlacek’s website. Gelong Thubten’s book. Jessica Maguire’s website. Nicole LePera’s workbook. Mandy Lehto on Instagram.

If you’ve ever downplayed your success at work, felt like you didn’t belong, or attributed your career wins to luck, you’ve likely experienced Imposter Syndrome. Stats show that 70 per cent of us have experienced its wily grip at some stage of our careers. In this fast-paced solo episode I share three key things that might be causing imposter syndrome in your life. We’ll also explore what might be GOOD about it, and what three-step technique you can try when you’re feeling it. I’m also curious if the term itself is outdated (it originated in the 1970s). Oh, you’re wondering about the banana. You’ll hear how a banana kicked off a shame cycle for me. True story. Links: Mandy’s imposter syndrome QUIZ. How the Queen would eat a banana. YouGov stats on Brits and imposter syndrome. Stats 70 per cent have felt imposter syndrome. KPMG research. Emma Reed Turrell on podcast (refers to Visibility, Novelty, Minority). Stylist article with MIT prof quotes. HBR article: Stop telling women they have imposter syndrome.

If you’ve ever been labelled too loud, too intense, TOO MUCH, this episode is for you. I’m in conversation with two guests who, for years, felt the need to shrink themselves to be more acceptable for others. You’ll meet Karen Goldfinger Baker, who had a stellar career in fund-raising, and now coaches pro athletes and executives at organizations such as Apple and Disney. You’ll also meet Dr Sarah Madigan, author and clinical psychologist, who leads coaching groups that look ridiculously fun. Both women share where their too-much beliefs came from, and how they’ve learned to relate to that belief differently, letting their authenticity shine through. You’ll learn techniques from Sarah with her clinical psychologist hat on in case you’ve been holding back, worried about being too much. Trigger warning: There is mention of childhood sexual abuse, and the death of a baby. Dr Sarah Madigan’s website. Karen Goldfinger Baker’s website.

You’ve spent decades making sacrifices and pushing yourself towards success. You love the thrill of the chase. But lately you noticed that you’re just not that into it. The bonuses, shiny things and lures of more status and power leave you flat, and you can’t explain it. You’re a little bored, maybe even burnt out. How do you get your spark back? That niggle in your gut is telling you to pay attention, but you’re afraid to listen to it. In this solo episode, I put my coach hat on and offer three invitations to recalibrate your thinking. Big change can feel terrifying, so let’s start smaller, by thinking through some foundational questions that might jiggle loose a new perspective. Links: Arthur Brooks’ book David Brooks’ book A More Exciting Life Sahil Bloom’s newsletter Article on growth without goals Episode 46 of Enough, the Podcast Mandy on Instagram

Anger feels like the baddie of emotions. Many of us deal with anger by numbing it, or pushing it down, hoping it’ll magically disappear. But it’s still there, trapped in the body. Instead of stuffing it down, let’s talk about anger, and learn a more effective way of processing it. Today’s guest is Dr Caroline Boyd, Chartered Clinical Psychologist and author who is frequently quoted in the press on women’s rage and maternal anger. We focus more generally on anger in this conversation, whether or not you’re a mom (or even a parent). You’ll learn how our complex relationship to anger starts early. You’ll learn practical ways to manage those ‘flip your lid’ moments, and why you’re encouraged to start turning TOWARDS your anger, instead of pushing it away (counterintuitive and brilliant!) Join us. Links: Dr Caroline Boyd’s website. Caroline's Workshop Caroline on Instagram. Dr Dan Siegel explains flipping your lid. Guardian article (including Rage Rooms). Soraya Chemaly’s TED talk.

Are you addicted to the buzz of work — the pace, the adrenaline, the excitement? The insidious thing about work addiction is that it’s often praised by others, giving it a very different “feel” than being addicted, say, to cocaine or pornography. In today’s episode, you’ll learn how we become addicted to work — is it the result of childhood trauma, for instance? How do we know if work has become an addiction? And if it has, what can we do about it? My guest is Dr Anna Lembke, professor of psychiatry at Stanford University. She’s a world-leading expert on addiction, and is also the author of the New York Times bestseller, Dopamine Nation: Finding balance in an age of indulgence. Practical and thought-provoking. Join us! Anna’s book, Dopamine Nation.

“I just need to get through this project, and then I’ll slow down.” Who knows that lie? You can love your job AND still be exhausted by it. Today I’m talking about the exhaustion during those ultra-intense periods when we push down the red flags from our body. My guest is former Disney executive, Dr David Yudis. Disney is the happiest place on earth. It’s a place with no limits – as he discovered. In his early 40s, David was living the dream in that buzzy, chronically exhausted state. “I just need to get through till the holidays…and THEN, I’ll recover.” David’s body had other plans. In this episode you’ll learn about the hot little motor burning underneath David’s relentless drive (I did not see that one coming!) You’ll get three takeaways from David’s experience that you can apply to your own life right away. Join us. Links: Book: On Self-Hatred (School of Life) David Yudis’ website Mandy Lehto’s website

Author and psychotherapist Katherine Morgan Schafler and I dig into self-criticism, judgment, and comparison. I share a real-life scene from a “Wild Woman” retreat, and what a cringey conversation (involving a sarong and hand-held mirror) taught me about how I handle challenging situations. I suspect this will be a useful insight for you too. How do you speak to yourself when you’re WAY out of your comfort zone? If you’re listening to this podcast, I suspect your inner voice ain’t exactly Mary Poppins. If you’re critical of yourself and others, what can you do? Katherine shares a technique that you can action right away. I’ve been trying it all week. Solid gold! Links: Katherine Morgan Schafler’s website. Katherine on Instagram. Mandy on Instagram. Mandy on LinkedIn.

Have we got perfectionism all wrong? Is it something that we need to eradicate? Today’s guest is Katherine Morgan Schafler, psychotherapist, and former on-site therapist at Google. In her new book, The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control, Katherine says we don’t need to “recover” from perfectionism to be happy and successful. We need to learn how to be with it in a way that empowers us. You’ll learn to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy perfectionism (and how to course correct, when it’s the latter). You’ll also learn about the five types of perfectionists, and which one you might be. This is part one of my two-part conversation with Katherine. LINKS Types of Perfectionist Quiz BBC article Katherine Morgan Schafler’s website Katherine on Instagram Mandy on Instagram Sarah Norrad episode Mandy Lehto’s website

Maybe you’re purchasing status markers, like red-bottomed shoes or the latest gadgets to signal your success (and hey, no judgement! I do it too!) Maybe the title and the pay reaffirm your identity. You tell yourself that “one day” you’ll arrive at a certain paygrade or career milestone, and THEN you won’t need the validation anymore. THEN success will feel different. Less empty and fleeting. Uh huh. I’m in conversation with Shelley Paxton, ex-Chief Marketing Officer of Harley Davidson, and Tracy Yates, ex-CEO of an 8-figure marketing agency, serving brands like Google and Amazon. They were success-FULL but felt hollow inside. What does it look like to start redefining success, decades into an established career? And how do you start weaning yourself off of external validation? You’ll learn how both women did the inner work and loosened the grip of external validation. The best part? You can start playing with their ideas right away, without leaving your job. Links: Shelley Paxton’s book, Soulbbatical. Shelley’s TEDx talk. Shelley’s website. Shelley on Instagram. Tracy Yates’ website. Tracy Yates on Instagram. Brené Brown’s VALUES sheet. Arthur Brooks’ article on satisfaction. Arthur Brooks’ article on choosing specialness over happiness. Mandy Lehto’s website. Mandy on Instagram.

When you’ve spent years in survival mode at work, your body starts perceiving this as normal. A recent article in Forbes mentions a new profile of burnt-out employees, the ‘engaged-exhausted.’ They continue to function at the highest levels, but inside they’re highly stress and have mixed feelings about their careers. Why do some people continue to push themselves to breaking point? I’m in conversation with Tatiana Poliakova, ex-Managing Director at Nomura, an investment bank. Tatiana was addicted to success and adrenalin, but her body started sending up flares. You’ll also meet Consultant Clinical Neuropsychologist, Dr Antonia Kirkby, who explains why someone who is highly identified with the status and the buzz of the job, can lose touch with red flags from their bodies. Join us. Your nervous system will thank you. Links: Tatiana Poliakova’s website. Forbes article on the “engaged-exhausted.” Dr Antonia Kirkby on Instagram. Jessica Maguire on Instagram. Mandy Lehto on Instagram.