Pie Hard

Pie Hard returns mid hangover to analyse the Collingwood malaise, blame the fixture, send an SOS to Graham Wright, denounce John Farnham, query Fly's writer's room, lament game style deficiencies, retire old veterans, compliment only two players and generally remember how good last year was

In Part 2, we chat the redemption of John Noble, Darcy Moore in Speedos, Dane Swan’s foray into food television, Murphy’s concussions, De Goey’s digs, plus our suggestion for Craig McRae’s new motivational theme for Collingwood’s premiership defence, and our Ned Guy ‘he’ll surprise you’ picks for the most improved player for the upcoming season

[Part 1 of 2] We return for a new season of pie hard with the pod version of a double-header. We describe our experience of getting clean off Collingwood post Grand Final and then relapsing again and again, revisit the post-premiership orgasm, rate our favourite offseason narratives, discuss Graham “Contiki” Wright’s Euro Gap Year, breakdown Collingwood’s recent foray into the cinematic universe, plus we chat offseason movements, Mini Mihocek, Craig McRae’s self-imposed use by date and Isaac Quaynor’s phenomenal summer

We wrap up an immortal season marinated in red wine, stuffed with wholesome, and basted in the succulent juices of ultimate glory in the most indulgent breakdown of Collingwood's 16th premiership yet

We celebrate a bumper grand final week with all the hard news, hard asks, hard predictions and hard plans leading into Saturday's mega climax

We marinate in the glory of a special preliminary final victory, discuss the relationship debit and credit system ahead of grand final week, the art of Cuddleball, our run in with some old saints, De Goey the giant slayer, the loss of McStay, and revisit your favourite red wine replays from Collingwood’s one-point victory against GWS

We take preliminary final lessons from mythology, necromancy, tattoo artists, miracle hamstrings and Colombian remedies, plus our attempts to look good, smell good, feel good, play good, and we find out what's on your mind ahead of Collingwood’s 11th prelim in 22 years

We spend the week off renaming Collingwood babies and magpie sculptures, discussing the Maynard shitstorm, deciphering the new culinary gameplan, preparing the premiership poster, and planning a glorious weekend of self-care and injury schadenfreude

Pie Hard returns for a bumper finals series featuring Qualifying Final predictions, selection conundrums, private jets, moon phases, Grand Final entertainment, Nick's knee cream, Fly's keynote and Oleg's underpants

Pie Hard turns to the people to address your questions and anxieties, feat. dirty grand final apparel, Nick VS Josh, our preferred finals matchup, Fly's mind games, a Malthouse return, ice cold Crownies, Jarrod 'druid' Wade, and our plans for a Collingwood army fleet of lime scooters

Pie Hard rediscovers the club's mojo with a brand new Terrace Talk, juicy red wine replay, Ginni and the recipe of team selection, Bobby's break-out, the Moore injury, Nick's bone broth, Fly's man crush, Ken Done pastels, and is it finally time for a Jarrod Wade badge?

We bemoan the lack of red wine, unpick the team malaise, and dissect the three act structure of the Collingwood season, plus a secret visit to the halls of power, navigating life after wholesome, Damien's Daicos family connection, and our foolproof recipe for getting the team back on track

We chat apparel jinxes, ins & outs, the Howe move and the Cox question plus Daicos contract extensions, Jeff Browne hair extensions, the IQ fragrance, Magpie cookware and Heretier’s new business

We chat love bombing Fly and bully boy Ken, goon bags or aperol spritz, football therapy, Nathan's string, that Beau McCreery kick, the Mason Seinfeld jibe, Graham’s signing spree, plus the deliciously low stakes Carlton game and finding the gumption to mention the P word

Pie Hard turns seventy with more pizza pie and red wine replay, plus kid talk, Collingwood crocs, Daicos diary, Nathan's imminent return, the beauwatch extension and our thoughts on Port the beverage and the opponent

We chat Belarusian prison tattoos, Daicos spheres, country footy bashings, Peter dancing in the aisles, Pendlebury pizza, Ginnivan's future, our IQ admiration club and Gabriel Gaté inspired magpie cooking shows

We chat about the key to getting Taylor Swift down to Collingwood, edging, contrast therapy, weaponising happiness, the Ben King fitness test and the brands turning to the Pies to endorse their products

In a special bye episode of Pie Hard, we count down the hardest moments from the first half of the season

We enlist AI to help decipher a rare loss, debate the pros and cons of segregating fans, why bigger slides are better, the problem with Grundy's portrait, the players code, flu fatigue and the lessons of Jens Voigt, non hungover contract extensions, shitty ghost written biographies, the beauty of the bye, plus the cultural high water mark of 2000's Sunsilk commercials featuring Matthew Lokan.

We chat second teams, Carlton Schadenfreude, Pies media watch, wholesome gods and the unlikely Collingwood totem, plus our bombshell road trip strategy, the Pie Hard time capsule, milestone men and the Steele biopic