I Am Speaking

There is no question that there is a link between physical health and mental health. What do we do, or what can we do, when one informs or impacts the other? Karen Rothstein Pineda, founder of Multicultural Counseling Associates, and our Resident Therapist, leads this discussion on what to look for in therapy as a patient if we are having physical challenges, if we are a caretaker, what might feel like hopelessness, and finally where there is always hope. As always Karen does not disappoint with her charm, her understanding, and her insight. We are lucky to have her on the I Am Speaking team, and she always comes through for us. Disclaimer: This podcast is for information, education and entertainment purposes only. In no way is I Am Speaking intended to provide medical advice or substitute for mental health advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are feeling suicidal, thinking about hurting yourself or concerned that someone you know may be in danger of hurting themselves, call or text the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988, or call 911.

October 21, over a decade ago: Peter Vishneski was driving late at night with friends and became tired behind the wheel. He nodded off. He woke up in the ICU two days later unable to move his fingers properly. You will fall in love with Peter, or Mr. Vishneski, as his students call him. The once-physical-therapy-student-turned-HS-Biology-teacher has lessons for his students beyond composition of starch in a potato or backing up essays in Google Drive. To listen to Peter is to learn the strength of resilience, the power of overcoming grief, and the truth that sometimes kids just get it better than adults. Your lovely cohosts had the privilege of seeing Peter as the brilliant Professor X in the OPRF HS premier of X-Men: Mad Ave (the musical), and we just had to have him on the show. To see him perform, to hear him sing, to hear him speak about his recovery and renewal, and to learn how to be a better ally and champion from him, you definitely understand what he means when you he says that life after his spinal cord injury has been “a net positive.” We know you will fall in love with Peter Vishneski as we did. And for goodness sake, hold the door open for people, for everybody. It’s just good manners.

“Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation; it means understanding that something is what it is and that there’s got to be a way through it.” - Michael J. Fox Life, in all of its challenges, came at Dana Blanchard, hard and fast in 2020. Ready and packed for a big move to Australia with her husband and two kids 9 days before the world shut down, things started to go sideways. When those plans got put on indefinite hold due to the pandemic, her husband, Wells, started falling ill with unexplained sores, extreme pain, fatigue and full body aches for which doctors could not agree on a diagnosis. Three years later and Dana’s life is not what she imagined it might be. She has become the caretaker for her husband, the sole breadwinner of their family, and their move to Australia went from indefinite hold to canceled. But Dana is not one to be down and out. Fighting for answers for her husband’s health and always with her glass half full, Dana continues to find love and gratitude in the every day (and sometimes she admits that things are hard and things can suck).

In October 2019, Teresa Janik found herself in excruciating pain. She could barely focus, took her work home, and told her husband “take me to the ER right now.” What she didn’t know what that by entering the ER, she’d be entering a whole new part of her life. A severe bout of diverticulitis led to sepsis which led to a literal live-saving surgery. But that wasn’t the end She came out of surgery with a stoma and ostomy bag, which was kept in place for more the seven months. She also left the ordeal with a rather new outlook on life, and the people in hers. What happens when people don’t go to the doctor “until they are dying?” Does the bar change once that scenario is actually experienced? Why do we wait so long to go to the doctor? And what happens when we do go on death’s actual door? All these questions are answered by Teresa herself. She takes us through why she went to the ER, what her in-hospital stay was like, and what insight she’s gained since she thanked her stoma in the mirror. We don’t expect to face our own mortality until we are “old”. What do we do when that timeline is pushed up? Teresa Janik is brave and proud, not because she faced death, but because she’s willing to expose her vulnerability, share her fear, show her scars and find joy in her recovery.

Jennie has spent years as an Operating Room nurse, counseling her patients, holding their hands through the pain, hearing their fears and seeing the heartbreaks. Then, one fateful day in 2022, the tables were turned and Jennie became the patient who needed counseling, some hand-holding, whose fear and heartbreak became palpable. Jennie Ebmeyer was diagnosed, at the age of 39, with Stage I breast cancer. Within days, after a PET Scan, the diagnosis was changed to Stage IV metastatic breast cancer. Being told she had limited options, and “we’ve done all we can” after some harsh chemo, the medical institution was ready to usher her to the “Stage 4 Pasture”, as she calls it. But Jennie wasn’t done. She just needed to advocate for herself And her story still isn’t done. Her advocacy isn’t done. She is meant to write the story of a Stage 4 metastatic breast cancer THRIVER and that is exactly what she’s doing - one page at a time.

Vickie spent her life building armor that she believed would save her from emotional pain. After decades of surgeries, medical appointments, dental procedures, scarring, braces, and bone grafts, Vickie thought her emotional armor was pretty solid. Then, her daughter came home from school in 1st grade and told her about a bullying situation that happened. After seeing red and having a “disproportionate” reaction to the situation, Vickie came to realize her armor had some chinks in it. After working on herself, unpacking her trauma and focusing on healing and self-acceptance, she has found her purpose in life - helping the cleft community, and parents of cleft individuals, build resilience and pave their own paths toward self-acceptance and love. “Vickie Stolle is the founder of the company Dragonfly Paradigm – A Cleft Resilience Community. She is a writer, speaker, pianist, general aviation pilot, relentless list maker, book lover, strategy builder, and is also a woman born with a bilateral cleft lip and palate. Vickie knows from firsthand experience the emotional challenges one goes through living with a facial difference. As a result, she has built a community wherein she shares strategies and tools for building and maintaining emotional resilience for cleft affected individuals as well as parents and caregivers of cleft affected children.” www.dragonflyparadigm.com

Hearing is different than listening. Dr. Matthew Kircher is not only a talented surgeon, a brilliant doctor, and an all-around good person, but Shailushi and Kosha also are lucky enough to call him family. He is married to their cousin (and previous guest on IAS) Sheetal. He sits in the Speaker’s Chair this week to discuss his work as an ENT surgeon, how an ear functions, and why Q-tips should never go near your ears. Matthew L Kircher, MD is currently an Associate Professor of Otology, Neurotology and Skull Base Surgery in the Department of Otolaryngology – Head and Neck Surgery at Loyola University Medical Center. His practice includes the medical and surgical treatment of patients afflicted with ear disease. He has authored numerous peer-reviewed publications and book chapters. He currently serves on several national ENT committees, Co-Editor for Audiology and Neurotology Journal and is an active member of the American Neurotology Society and the American Academy of Otolaryngology-Head and Neck Surgery.

What a freaking fun and interesting conversation. Marijo has been making the world more accessible, one conservation at a time. For over 30 years, she’s been signing her way, being of service to the deaf and hard of hearing community. Marijo Fiacchino’s resume is lengthy and her credibility is solid - she has her Certification of Interpretation (CI) and Certification of Transliteration (CT), she is RID (Registry of Interpretation for th Deaf) Certified. She has a Masters Level license in Illinois, and is qualified as an Illinois Master Mentor. So, we know she’s capable, she’s educated, and she’s driven. But until you speak with her, or shall we say, let her speak, you wouldn’t know how passionate she is for this work that she loves, how much compassion she is for her deaf and hearing clients, and how much she views her life’s work as service to a marginalized community. The world needs more people like Marijo. And she’s hilarious, to boot.

Paul Varghese did his first comedy set in June 2001. Four months later, the world got very scary and very dark for brown people. Twenty-two years later, he continues to take the stage, kill with eloquently crafted jokes, and use his Indian-ness as a source of pride and humor. Several months ago, one of Paul’s jokes (the iPhone icon joke) went viral. Kosha saw it and showed it to everyone she knows. Paul’s YouTube special dropped and your cohosts decided that this guy has got to be in our Speaker’s Chair, he’d be an amazing guest. And whoa boy, were we right. Paul is incredibly funny. But he’s also incredibly thoughtful, incredibly confident, and incredibly humble. He won’t go for the easy lay-ups, because he knows there’s more to unearth that will be ten times funnier if you put in the thought and the work. It was an honor and a privelage to have this amazing stand-up sit down with us for a couple hours to tell us his story. We encourage you to listen to the episode, then watch his YouTube special, and do a deep dive into his Instagram where he posts bits and jokes multiple times a week. And if you are anywhere near where he’s performing, do yourself a favor and go see one of his “programs”. And sit in the front row without fear, this dude doesn’t do crowd work. As I Was Saying: https://youtu.be/2AWY8YDO-yI Instagram: @paulvcomedian

When David Figueroa was born, his mother was told he would never walk, talk or learn enough to go through school. Last week, David turned 32 years old (Happy Birthday David!). He’s a college graduate, he walked across the stage to get his diploma and now he’s a motivational speaker and youth advocate for underserved and underprivelaged youth. He’s also a cyclist and former 3 sport athlete. What’s his message? Only you know what you are capable of. David talks at length about who spurred him on before he developed his own voice of self-advocacy, how cruel people can be when they see someone “different,” and when not listening to a doctor was a good step in his process. David was a joy to have in the Speaker’s Chair. He has achieved plenty and deserves all the accolades and attention and love he’s getting for what he’s accomplished. But mostly, David is a caring, joyful, kind person who sees purpose in helping others, disability or not.

There are certain events that punctuate a person’s life, and one can’t help but think of life as “before” and “after”. We might think of life “before having kids” and “after having kids”. Or “before the pandemic” versus “after the world shut down”. Anuja Martinez (née Mehta) has her life “before brain aneurysm” and “after brain aneurysm”. At the age of 29, Anuja finally had th answer to why she would get debilitating headaches, light flashes, and tunnel vision, but the answer was terrifying. Finally a doctor listened to her and ordered an MRI, which revealed a fusiform brain aneurysm. She and her family, along with the best doctors in the world, chose a less mainstream surgery to repair the aneurysm, the surgery was successful, and Anuja is living a full and wonderful life in her “after”. But the story never ends there. To kick off our Season 5 “Physical Disability & Challenges: Seen & Unseen”, Anuja shares her journey of facing her mortality in her 20s, the consequences of not looking like she had brain surgery, and how she uses her experience to address systemic problems in the healthcare system now. A fun bonus for us: Anuja is our cousin! She is passionate, compassionate and truly lovely. You will hear her high highs and low lows in our conversation. But overall, you’ll hear the drive to use her “after a brain aneurysm” life to impact change and be a force for good.

To cap off Season 3: Mental Health & Neurodiversity, we have an amazing guest who is fighting the good fight. Nikki Naglich is a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner at a mental health hospital in the suburbs of Chicago. She talks about treating serious mental illness, the difference between inpatient & outpatient work, and her hopes for her patients’ futures. We discuss why and when people are brought to an inpatient psych unit, which can involve police bringing a psychotic patient to the hospital instead of to jail (given someone’s psychosis may include agression/violence, destruction of property, a threat or harm to oneself or others). Nikki talks about having a good relationship with the local police force, and that calling the police is an option if there is a situation where one feels unsafe or threatened. Nikki and everyone at I Am Speaking are aware and note that involving the police is not the first or ideal option for dealing with a mental health crisis. “At the end of the day, police are trained to handle criminal activity, not provide health care. Many police tactics (including strategies of intimidation and control) are counterintuitive in mental health emergencies, where people need empathy and care.” - I Don’t Mind Depending on the area and the situation, calling the police could exacerbate the situation, especially if the person is a person of color (POC.) Nikki speaks of understanding, deescalation and empathy. If you must call the police, NAMI has some advice here: tinyurl.com/3rt625w3 Nikki is a wealth of knowledge, but you hear the compassion come through loud and clear. She loves what she does, even when it’s hard. And we are glad she’s caring for people who have been marginalized, victimized, and demonized. Nikki, thank you for doing what you do. We need more people like you in mental healthcare. DISCLAIMER: I Am Speaking is for information, education and entertainment purposes only. In no way is I Am Speaking intended to provide medical advice or substitute for mental health advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are feeling suicidal, thinking about hurting yourself or concerned that someone you know may be in danger of hurting themselves, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the Suicide Hotline at 988, or call 911.

“Athi is deeply committed to our clients, and takes a personal interest in the relationships that she builds through the practice of architecture.” - Scott Delano, Architect Extraordinaire Athi Toufexis is an architect. She specializes in designing educational environments for learners of all abilities. She supports school districts and communities in transforming their visions into inspiring built realities. Athi strives to create future-ready solutions to better prepare students for the ever-evolving world of tomorrow. Athi is also a joy to speak with. She is clearly passionate about public service, amd creating spaces in which people can find comfort, joy and awe. As Athi mentions, architecture is a facet of life that is constantly impacting our lives, every day, every hour, every minute. We loved speaking with Athi to learn about what an architect does, and how she approaches work for different projects in and for different communities. Kosha also learns what a portico is during our conversation, which was exciting for her. Do you have a favorite building?

Unpacked is a podcast exploring life as messy people. It’s conversations with counsellors, industry leaders, all storytellers discussing their experiences of being human. They talk about the strength that comes from big messy failures and vulnerable moments so we can learn to live more authentically. And today we have the co-hosts of Unpacked as guests on I Am Speaking. Evan & Tara are co-workers, best friends and found family. They speak to Kosha and Shailushi about meeting when Evan was a pastor at a church, working together at the church and then leaving that church and finding their way as individuals and friends on the flip side. Evan has become certified as an Enneagram Coach and now is helping others find their way toward growth as well. It was a true joy to have them in the Speakers Chair(s) for our first ever duo interview! And what an inspiring and lovely duo they were to speak with about the messiness of life. Check out their podcast Unpacked at unpackedpodcast.ca (they are Canadian!) - Shailushi and Kosha were both guests recently! Evan’s coaching business is also worth checking out! He’s on Instagram at @recesscreek, or at unpackedpodcast.ca/coaching. Also as promised, the current conversion for Canadian dollars: 1 Canadian Dollar = 0.74 USD

Hello, Listeners! Shailushi here... introducing you to this week's guest, my beloved co-host Kosha Carstens. Kosha has shared her diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) on our podcast. This week, I spoke to her in detail about her experience-- when she realized something more than regular nerves was at play, how it led to her decades-long battle with disordered eating, and how she is learning to live with the "tiger in the room." Although we are sisters, you'll hear in this episode just how well people can hide their mental health struggles from so many people, even their loved ones. This episode is significant to me because I had the chance to hear what Kosha went through and how I could support her better. I encourage you to listen with an open mind, even if you know what anxiety feels like. One thing I have learned through this podcast is just how hidden some parts of our lives are and how misunderstood we might feel when we share them.

What happens when there is not a biochemical imbalance in our brains? No low dopamine or suboptimal serotonin to explain our mental health challenges? Yet, life keeps happening to us and the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune” rain down upon us and we must march forward? What happens when those slings and arrows shake our world views and affect our mental well-being? Today we have someone special in the Speaker’s Chair. You know her and love her…Shailushi Baxi Ritchie! Your beloved hosts realized that mental health & neurodiversity affects everyone, and wanted to make sure our listeners know us a little better, what we’ve been through and continue to go through that often direct how we navigate the world and Shailushi is first up! In 2017, Shailushi was diagnosed with cancer. Loyal listeners know this, she isn’t shy about speaking about her cancer diagnosis, and we’ve had her oncologist on last April for Shailushi’s month of birthday surprise guests. But we haven’t heard her story as she tells it - until now. Shailushi starts from the beginning and takes our listeners through her emotional journey - the high highs and the low lows. In the end, you hear the resolve and resilience that makes your main host here pretty damn badass.

”We bereaved are not alone. We belong to the largest company in all the world--the company of those who have known suffering.” - Helen Keller There are few things as isolating as grief, both in death and non-death loss. But at the same time, there is nothing so unifying, so completely shared and universal, as grief. Every person will experience grief from loss - a loved one in death, a job, a friendship, a marriage, an identity. Yet, grief and loss are concepts and experiences so seldom discussed and reckoned with. Brittany Squillace is on a mission to help people stop hiding from their grief, and instead begin honoring it by “instilling hope in the way you view, talk about, and navigate grief.” In our first IAS w/ Expert Voices episode of 2023, Shailushi & Kosha talk with grief-specialized licensed marriage & family therapist Brittany to talk about core concepts in grief processing. how to honor one’s own grief journey, and how to support a loved one who is grieving. Brittany is a brilliant therapist, and she blew us away with her passion, compassion and conviction. Listen to this episode, and share it with someone you love. Then listen to Brittany’s podcast, Exposing Grief w/ Brittany Squillace, and follow her educational YouTube channel, Exposing Grief. Trigger warning: death, grief, loss. DISCLAIMER: I Am Speaking is for information, education and entertainment purposes only. In no way is I Am Speaking intended to provide medical advice or substitute for mental health advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are feeling suicidal, thinking about hurting yourself or concerned that someone you know may be in danger of hurting themselves, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the Suicide Hotline at 988, or call 911.

“I literally put everything out there… My hope is for those that listen may hear it and not just feel sadness for this kid…but maybe you might hear yourself at times in it and feel a bit more connected…a bit more seen. And be sure to check out part 2…not to give spoilers, but things get better! Thanks for listening…and if there’s anything you hear that you connect with and you feel any kind of way and need to talk about it. I’m here.” - Casey Gustafson That is Casey describing Part 1 of his story (if you haven’t listened to it yet, stop here and go listen to it - you cannot see Return of the Jedi before A New Hope or Empire Strikes Back!) And as he spoiled for us, it does get better. His advice at the end is something we all want, we all need, and we all long for. It is simple to hear or say, but it’s not easy to believe. But we can work on it together Casey is a work in progress, just as we all are. He is learning to love the scared little kid who just needed to be seen. In fact, that’s the reason he shared his story on I Am Speaking in the first place, so if someone out there feels connected or needs to connect, he might be able to be of service

To meet Casey now, you’d think this man has got it made - a great job, recently finished his college degree, living in Chicago, engaged to be married, has an awesome dog. And you would be right - things look pretty good for Casey. That assumption would do an injustice to Casey’s story. His life has been anything but ideal and picturesque, his struggles have been real, and he came very close to throwing it all away, several times. When you listen to Casey talk of how his life unfolded, and how he had to pick himself at some of the worst moments you can imagine for a person, it sheds new light on the idea of renewed hope, and owning one’s worth. Casey is our first 2 part episode. One interview session was not enough to adequately do justice to his experiences. Religious indoctrination, being a gay man in a conservative space, untreated mental illness, substance abuse and addiction. No one lives in a vacuum, and neither do our experiences. Casey is a prime example of that, and a testament to what we are capable of if we don’t give up on ourselves.

“I am just a little OCD…” ”Stop being so OCD about it!” “I know what you mean, I can’t stand dirty dishes!!” Sound familiar? If it does, it’s probably because you have either heard it said or said it yourself, about being particular, or wanting things clean, or needing to be organized. Unfortunately, the problem here is that phrases like those do not nearly capture what living with OCD is like. Our guest today is so passionate about helping people understand his life with OCD, he wrote a book about it. Evander Beatty knows that OCD can be debilitating. It can be damaging, physically, emotionally, mentally and socially. It is not about “just needing to be clean” but the internal war that occurs when something is not clean, or done properly, or organized in a certain way. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder impacts the sufferer, but also the family, friends, colleagues and community of the sufferer. Evander has been through some dark times, but he came out the other side. And he’s sharing his story. Listen to his story. And remember, you never know what someone might be enduring. Those experiences are not a joke. They are real and sometimes painful. The more we understand each other, the more we can help each other navigate the world. DangerLife: A Dark Voyage Thru OCD https://a.co/d/j3s2VST