The Reset by Sam Delaney

Luke Turner is co-founder of the excellent music and culture site The Quietus and a contributor to the Guardian, NME, Vice and many more. As a child, Luke was obsessed with the Second World War. His new book, Men At War, examines how the war stories he loved shaped his ideas of masculinity. He joined me to discuss what it means to be a modern man. Buy Men At War here This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit samdelaney.substack.com/subscribe

**Club Reset is the weekly discussion/get together between me and a couple of guests. This is a FREE PREVIEWS for non paid subscribers. if you’d like a new episode of this series in your inbox every week in 2024 (plus access to the whole back catalogue) then why not consider going paiod for just a fiver a month? I’m joined by Bruce and James from the world’s best movie podcast, Betamax Babylon, to talk about the role films play in our mental health - and why it’s never really possible to clear your mind completely. https://betamax-babylon-pirate-video-crew.hubwave.net/ This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit samdelaney.substack.com/subscribe

How do you really get to know someone? How do you show them that you see and understand who they really are? This is what David Brooks, best-selling author and New York Time columnist, sets out to discover in his new book How To Know A Person. It contains some life changing lessons in empathy, friendship and communication. David joined me on this episode to talk about all that stuff and his own personal growth from cold fish to warm-hearted empath. Something for us all to aspire to! Buy his excellent book here This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit samdelaney.substack.com/subscribe

Are we all riddled with animalistic sexual urges that only society’s manners stop us from acting upon? Or is sex a bit more complicated and nuanced than that? These are the sort of questions Darian Leader tries to answer in his new book, Is It Ever Just Sex? It’s not often we’ve had the chance to discuss hanky-panky on The Reset but Darian has some brilliantly smart ideas on the subject that he explains with real clarity and humour. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit samdelaney.substack.com/subscribe

Jules Evans is a writer, historian and practical philosopher. His first book, ‘Philosophy For Life - And Other Dangerous Situations’ was a Times book of the year and was translated into numerous languages. It broke down some of the big ideas of ancient philosophy, in particular stoicisim, and showed how they could apply to everyday, modern life. It was extremely readable and very helpful to people all over the world. He’s a fascinating bloke and his personal story is incredible too. I was really pleased to welcome him onto the podcast and especially enjoyed this chat. Find out more about Jules and his work here This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit samdelaney.substack.com/subscribe

Jordan Patterson is an addiction counsellor who grew up with an alcoholic dad who collected him from school drunk. He knows about the pain and insecurity felt by the people who surround addicts. Now he helps them via the family therapy programme he runs at rehab centre, The Cabin in Thailand. His story is raw, honest and painful but his insights are very helpful to anyone who is living with an addict in their life. For free support visit https://al-anonuk.org.uk/ For more about Jordan’s work visit The Cabin’s website here This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit samdelaney.substack.com/subscribe

Peter Wharmby was 34 when he got diagnosed as autistic. Suddenly, big aspects of his life finally started making sense: including his struggles with mental health. While autism isn’t an illness, it presents challenges that often damage your mental health. In his bestselling book, Untypical, Peter paints a vivid picture of how being neurodivergent impacts his life. Peter was a great guest and really challenged so many of the common stereotypes about autism. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit samdelaney.substack.com/subscribe

When doctors tested award winning novelist Daan Heerman Van Voss for stress hormones, they found a record breaking level in his bloodstream. This effectively made him the most anxious man in the world. He’d had enough of living with constant worry and decided to deep dive the problem. The result is his first non fiction book, The Anxiety Project, in which he investigates the roots of his condition, the social and economic factors that contribute and the possible ways out. It’s a brilliant book and I was delighted to discuss it with him on this week’s pod. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit samdelaney.substack.com/subscribe

Barrie ‘Baz’ Rice was a veteran of New Zealand’s SAS before joining the world of the private security contracter. In 2004, his firm - Blackwater - became famous around the world when two of its operatives were hijacked and murdered in Iraq. What followed was a brutal and bloody conflict in post-war Iraq between security firms and insurgents. Barrie was caught in the middle of a fight that nearly cost him his life and his sanity. Buy his book - We Were Blackwater - here This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit samdelaney.substack.com/subscribe

Katy Georgiou is a practising psychotherapist and host of the excellent music and mental health podcast Sound Affects. How does music impact our moods and our minds? Is there really a connection between hedonism and creativity? And how can music help us in our darkest hours? I loved discussing all of this and more with Katy. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit samdelaney.substack.com/subscribe

Congressman Adam Smith seemed to have everything sorted: a high-flying political career plus a loving wife and kids. Then, in his forties - seemingly without any warning - his body and mind broke. Chronic pain and crippling anxiety almost incapiciated him completely. He joined me to explain how this crisis led him to seek help, open his mind to therapy and become a stronger, happier man in his fifties. Buy Adam’s book - Lost And Broken - My Journey Back From Chronic Pain And Crippling Anxiety - here This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit samdelaney.substack.com/subscribe

Noel McDermott has been a mental health professional for over 25 years. You may have heard me as a recent guest on his excellent Wellbeing Show. A regular commentator in the media on mental health matters, Noel has his own experiences of dealing with PTSD and addiction as a younger man. He was kind enough to share his inspiring life story with me for this week’s episode. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit samdelaney.substack.com/subscribe

Best-selling author, much-loved columnist and ubiquitous presenter: Danny Wallace is the epitome of the freewheeling Renaissance man. But on this week’s pod, he opened up about some of the mental challenges he has faced: from the sense of awkwardness he writes about so entertainingly, to the anxiety of parenthood to the pain of losing his dad two years ago. This is a rare insight to the mind of one of the nation’s favourite funny blokes. Buy Danny’s books here Listen to the Manatomy podcast here This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit samdelaney.substack.com/subscribe

Dr Thomas Curran is a social psychologist at LSE and author of brilliant new book ‘The Perfection Trap.’ In it, he examines our increased obsession with perfection, where it comes from, the damage it does to our mental health and how we can try to stop it. Essential listening for anyone who ever struggles with feelings of failure or a sense of not being good enough. Buy the book here This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit samdelaney.substack.com/subscribe

When Alex Messenger was 17 years old he was attacked in the Canadian wilderness by a 600 pound grizzly bear. It was an incident that changed his life forever. He joined me to talk about his dramatic fight, how he survived and the impact it had on his mental health. Buy Alex’s book The Twenty Ninth Day here This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit samdelaney.substack.com/subscribe

The Reset by Sam Delaney is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Hello to all my new subscribers. It’s an honour to have you here! Paid subscribers to The Reset Extra get an episode of my podcast sent to them ad free (almost) every week. In every episode I speak to a guests about life, mental health and everything and am always surprised and humbled by how honest and open they are. I’ve learned a lot from recording these shows, met some incredible people and had some great laughs too. As a taste of what you can expect if you upgrade, I thought I’d re-share a classic episode from 2021, in which comedy legend Seth Meyers joined me to chat about his career, his experiences of depression - and our shared love of football. There will be more newsletters, podcasts and special news features for paid subscribers coming very soon. The Reset exists to widen the conversation about tricky subjects like mental health and addiction. I’m trying to normalise this stuff and make it a bit more relaxed and fun so that more people can engage. The more people we get talking about their struggles, the better. So if you can stretch to £5 (about $6) per month, it will help The Reset survive and thrive and keep these important conversations going. I’d love to know what sort of subjects you’re interested in me writing about - and maybe what guests you’d like to hear on the podcast. So feel free to comment below or message me direct at samdelaneyreset@gmail.com Anyway, enjoy this pod and look out for more soon. Cheers Sam PS - I am doing a LIVE VIDEO STREAM on Wednesday evening at 7pm GMT. It will be a chance to ask me anything and meet some of your fellow Reset subscribers. They are a friendly gang. It’s for paid subscribers only so upgrade now and join me on Wednesday. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit samdelaney.substack.com/subscribe

Simon Gunning gave up a successful career in the media to take on the role as CEO of CALM, The Campaign Against Living Miserably. The charity is committed to bringing down the UK’s suicide rate by raising awareness, encouraging conversations and providing practical help to those in need. He spoke to me about work, fatherhood and why the government isn’t motivated to help the country out of its mental health crisis. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit samdelaney.substack.com/subscribe

Sir Robin Millar is one of the most successful record producers of the past fifty years. His sound dominated the charts in the 1980’s, with the likes of Sade, Working Week, Everything But The Girl and Fine Young Cannibals among the acts he worked with. Next, he turned impresario, founding numerous successful businesses in the music industry and beyond. For most of his life he has been blind. He joined me this week for a remarkably honest chat about his difficult childhood, his inspirational career and the mental challenges of living with disability. Robin is also the chair of disability charity Scope. Find out more at https://www.scope.org.uk/ This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit samdelaney.substack.com/subscribe

Like so many lads, Matt Pink was immersed in the workd hard, play hard lifestyle -putting ambition and partying above his own mental health. But when personal tragedy struck, the drinking got really out of control. He told me about a chance encounter that set him on the road to recovery. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit samdelaney.substack.com/subscribe

Alex McClintock had struggled with mental health issues for most of his life. The pressures of work and parenting caught up with him and almost led him to take his own life before a phone call from his daughter brought him back from the edge. Now, he helps run the Andy’s Man Club network in Scotland, spreading the power of sharing to other men who are struggling. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit samdelaney.substack.com/subscribe