Drunktor Who: A Doctor Who Podcast

On February 22nd in the year of Time Lord 2016, yet another podcast hosted by two middle aged white guys (unimaginatively named Steve and John) talking about Doctor Who was vomited onto the internets. This one was way different: in that our third friend Al Cohol was officially made a co-host. (He normally likes to keep things on the down low... but is usually a part of most podcasts... right?) To celebrate our 10th podcastaversary, please to enjoy our ‘proof of concept’ recording where we used Star Trek in place of Doctor Who so as not to ‘burn’ any usable material. Whilst listening to us be far too inebriated for our current comfort, feel free to judge John on how snippy he becomes with Steve, and have a shot every time Steve says he drank too much beer. Hold on. Our (non-existent) attorneys say not to do that. Actually, they said ‘For the love of all that’s holy and otherwise, do not advise anyone to do that!’. Whatever Poindexter. Mazel tav!

We continue ‘The War On Sobriety’ by watching the second episode of ‘The War Between The Land And The Sea’ titled ‘Plastic Apocalypse’. Whilst totally normal bloke Barclay settles uneasily into his role as the human ambassador, his Sea Devil counterpart takes a shine to his aw-shucks demeanor; then creates a literal shit-storm over the land by returning our trash and... well... shit. All that plus Kate gets bizay with Colonel Sexy, big business conspires with the military to take out the Sea Devils, and Salt hulks out. So yeah, don’t piss them off.

We begin a new mini-series we’re calling ‘The War On Sobriety’ where we cover the Doctor Whojacent mini-series ‘The War Between The Land And The Sea’. First up is episode one titled ‘Aqua Homo’ in which we are introduced to totally normal bloke Barclay. Unfortunately Barclay is treading water since he’s in way over his head... and paygrade... when he is called in as an ‘expert’ to bear witness to Earth’s prior inhabitants resurfacing from... well... the sea. Whilst these Sea Devils (or Homospondyls if you’re woke) just want us to stop pooping in their habitat, Barclay ends up humanity’s ambassador just cuz he’s a nice and totally normal bloke. And that’s why I’m an asshat. Nobody expects much from an asshat.

We conclude our latest relapse by watching the remaining three episodes of this 3rd Doctor serial “The Sea Devils” featuring... well, you know... the Sea Devils! Whilst the said titular Sea Devils finally start to wreak havoc, it turns out (surprise?) the Master is just using them to achieve his nefarious ends. Until the Sea Devils flip the script (surprise!) on the Master and use him to achieve their nefarious ends! Plus the Doctor and Jo are there too until the story ends abruptly! Like this description. Just like that. Damn... why can’t I just stop? Just ask Steve. Cuz he’ll enable me. Thanks Steve!

In this latest podcast episode, we take a slow walk down memory lane by watching the first half of 6 episodes where the 3rd incarnation of the Doctor takes a boat trip with then companion Jo Grant to check in on the super-duper-evil yet super-duper-well-guarded-prisoner (ha!) the Master on a remote (?) island prison where we hope they eventually encounter our titular foes: “The Sea Devils”. Whilst we see said devilry going down, not much happens. Or to paraphrase Ian Malcolm: “Are we going to see any Sea Devils in this Sea Devil story?”

We continue our Doctor Who re-watch by discussing Series 3’s final three episodes in our 17th Deja Brew podcast all whilst I attempt to make this description seem less tortured from the last one. Firstly, in “Utopia”, Captain Jack’s return is overshadowed by the return of the Master. Think of the Master as the Tweety Bird to the Doctor’s Puddy Tat. Or is that the other way around? Nextly, “The Sound of Drums” finds the newly regenerated Master elected as evil Prime Minister. Harriet Jones must be rolling in her grave. Wait? She’s not dead... yet? Lastly “Last of the Time Lords” has Martha traveling the globe to save the Doctor’s ass. She then f’s off afterwards because she finally got sick of being the rebound companion. A sincere “Thank You” to an underappreciated companion from the Drunktor Whovians.

Deja Brew 16 celebrates the re-discussion of the two part series 3 story comprising “Human Nature” and “The Family of Blood” where Martha puts up with a whole bunch of crap whilst the Doctor cosplays being a love-struck human in love. Though sadly for Martha said human is not Martha. Sad face. Meanwhilst the B plot finds an alien family tortured for all eternity by the Doctor. I mean they had it coming with all the killings and stuff but our hero is supposed to be above such petty shite. Oh wait. I forgot which Doctor this is. Carry on...

Our 15th Deja Brew mini-series podcast Nu-Who re-watch (deep breath) continues with the last three (mostly) unrelated episodes from Series 3. In “The Lazarus Experiment” Martha and the Doctor battle a relentless monster: Martha’s Mum! Oh... and a giant scorpion man. “42” has Martha trying to reason with a monster: her Mum! Oh... and a sentient star. Lastly “Blink” finds the Doctor and Martha mostly sidelined whilst the Weeping Angels make their triumphant debut! But I’m sure Mother Jones was thinking of ways Mr. Saxon could get them both shoe-horned into this episode too.

Join us with our 14th Deja Brew podcast. This time we’re rewatching Nu-Who’s Series 3 two-part 4th and 5th episodes where the Doctor takes Martha to Depression era New York City because... depressions are fun? “Daleks In Manhattan” delivers exactly what the title promises whilst “Evolution Of The Daleks” also delivers on its titular goodness! All that plus a one-eyed-human-Dalek-hybrid that just invites penis comparisons. Happily your co-hosts RSVPed on that invite.

We re-sume our Nu-Who re-watch with Series 3’s first 3 episodes. First we re-discuss “Smith and Jones” where the Doctor meets rebound companion Not-Rose (Martha to her family), and then encounters a platoon of Judoon on the moon. Next up is “The Shakespeare Code” where the surprisingly sexy bard flirts with both the Doctor and Martha whilst the trio attempt to vanquish a trio of mostly unsexy alien witches. Definitely most lastly is “Gridlock” where the Doctor needs to rescue a kidnapped Martha just because the Face of Boe wants to whisper sweet nothings in the Doctor’s relatively tiny ear. Seriously, who knew the Face of Boe would be such a big dick?

We conclude Drunktor Spooktober’s classic-era-folk-horror-themed-spooky-mini-series with the four part 1989 story “The Curse of Fenric” where the Seventh Doctor and Ace find themselves in England during WWII battling the titular Fenric, militaries of various flavours, and, of course, vampires. As one does. Whilst the Doctor forges a permission slip to do whatever the hell he wants, Ace faces her baby-mommy issues, and Fenric is busy doing said cursing. Golly gee... not that kind of cursing, assholes!

We continue our spooky mini-series watching classic era Doctor Who stories featuring folk horror. This episode we watch the 1977 serial “Horror of Fang Rock” where the Fourth Doctor and Leela mistakenly land on the titular Fang Rock expecting a holiday but instead finding... horror! Oh... and murder. Lots of murder. As the Doctor tries to puzzle out all the murdering going on in the creepy lighthouse, Leela threatens everyone with a knife but surprisingly doesn’t do any of the murdering whilst everybody else just get plain murdered. No seriously. Everybody dies just this once!

Welcome to the first episode of our folk horror themed mini-series that we’re calling “Drunktor Spooktober” (my preferred spelling was going to be “Spwhoktober” but I knew Steve wouldn’t let me get away with that... sad face) where we watch (hopefully) scary Doctor Who stories from the classic era. This episode we watch a 1971 story, “The Daemons” where the Third Doctor encounters forces totally of the non-demonic variety. Seriously. Whilst the writers bend over backwards not to offend any deity followers, the Doctor gets pissy with just about everybody, Jo gets demeaned by just about everybody, and the Master gets everybody prepped to commit some good old fashioned violence. Like the Medieval witch burning kind. Good times.

We re-discuss the second of the New Who Xmas specials: "The Runaway Bride". This time with special guest wife-of-the-podcast-Heidi! We pick up from the end of the prior episode where the freshly single Doctor is introduced to Donna, who is mysteriously plucked from her wedding by the Tardis. Whilst attempting to return Donna to the ceremony, the Doctor commits multiple crimes, Donna discovers her betrothed actually loves a giant spider-woman, and then Donna wisely decides to never ever, ever travel with the Doctor. Ever! Will we see her again? Spoilers...

We watch the 7th Doctor serial "Time and the Rani" where the newly regenerated Doctor gets hoodwinked into helping the newly red-headed Rani with her sciencing. Whilst said fooling is going down, the temporarily befuddled Doctor puts on a fashion show for the Rani (who is wearing ‘Mel’ drag), actual Mel proves her companion cred with some truly awesome screaming, and the Rani tries to ctrl-alt-delete the universe with a forced reboot. If she only read the universe’s control manual she would know that is not recommended. Wait? Am I the only one who reads all that stuff? JK! Nobody does that shiz...

We watch "The Mark of the Rani", a 6th Doctor story featuring the titular Rani’s first appearance. Whilst the Rani is making her mark by draining sleep juice from the brains of 19th century miners (because... science?), the Doctor constantly berates and belittles Peri (because... reasons?), the Master shows up to either help or hinder either the Rani or the Doctor (because... ßchaos?), and John is denied seeing said dirty-dirty-miners soaping up in the showers (because... cruelty!). But seriously, #justiceforPeri. Tim’s link that looks fake but isn’t: https://www.doctorwho.tv/not-authorised

Welcome to our 15th intervention where we hash out all things season 2... series 15?... perhaps series 41 if you’re being totally pedantic. In addition to those Doctor Who discussions being discussed, friend-of-the-show-Tim presents a match-the-companion-to-the-alcoholic-beverage exercise to your hosts whilst said hosts rank the 19 episodes of Ncuti’s woefully short reign from least awesome to most awesome. Spoilers: Steve’s ranking is wrong and John’s (mine!) is correct. To the writer of the episode’s description go the spoils. Shakespeare said that!

We watch “The Reality War” (Series 15, Episode 8) where the Earth doesn’t get destroyed but resets to begin May 23rd all over again. After the reboot occurs, the Doctor gets rescued by erstwhile companion Anita, UNIT, and its assorted minions get restored to their pre-wish glory, the Rani and Mrs. Flood bring back Omega, Omega eats the Rani, Mrs. Flood f’s off, and the Doctor easily defeats Omega and saves the day. But wait... there’s more! Whilst all this was going down, re-writes made Poppy Belinda’s actual daughter, the Doctor gets a pre-regeneration pep talk from Jodie’s incarnation then we say ‘adieu’ to Ncuti, and ‘bon jour’ to... Billie Piper?!? So is she Rose, Bad Wolf, the Moment or the latest Doctor? Also, how many years until proper new Doctor Who starts explaining? Oh! For! F’s! Sake!

We watch “Wish World” (Series 15, Episode 7) where the Doctor and current companion Miss Belinda Chandra become... married-couple-with-a-child Mr. and Mrs. John Smith?!? Whilst we try to figure just WTF is actually going TF on, recently past companion Ruby shows up on the 'Smith's' doorstep casting doubt on their progeny, distantly past companion Mel shows up to cast doubt on broken coffee mugs, and UNIT shows up to cast doubt on hetero-normality. All this and our lead is about to die on this season’s penultimate episode. Oh dear... what ever will happen...

We watch “The Interstellar Song Contest” (Series 15, Episode 6) where the Doctor takes increasingly-less-reluctant-companion Miss Belinda Chandra to see definitely-not-Eurovision™-in-space. Whilst they await the inevitable camp performances (that’s gay theatricality for those uniformed listeners... scoff... eye-roll), the Doctor Princess Leia’s his way through space, Belinda R2D2’s her way to the control center, and Mrs. Flood Emperor Palpatine’s her way back from near death. All this plus Susan’s and the Rani’s forces awaken!