Coffee, Cake and Kegals

This healing journey has been hard but victorious. Going from working through feeling neglected and abandoned and forgiving my parents for that and then being hit in the face with another feeling, the feeling of not being protected was by far the most difficult of all to overcome. Come take a ride with me on this episode where I discuss the ripple effect of how I navigated trauma and pieced together behaviors and beliefs that have kept me stuck in the divine masculine.

Happy New Year, Happy Holidays- all the happys! I am not sure if 2023 was a rough year for many of you but it definitely was for me and a lot of my friends. There were planets in retrograde that finally all went direct Jan 1, karmic cycles had finally come full circle, and boy did it feel heavy at times. It was a year of struggles that gave birth to realizations and lessons. It also gave birth to creativity and new projects, new connections and exciting ventures. As we enter 2024, we may be feeling a sense of renewal or as though a weights been lifted, maybe you’re feeling like nothing is holding you back. That’s because a path has been paved. Call back your power and run, don’t walk into these new opportunities.

Ever feel like you have the knowledge, you have the skills, you have the ability but you feel like a fraud? Hi, my name is Imposter Syndrome nice to meet you! It took me such a long time to identify that I have Imposter Syndrome. Years!! I just thought it was low self esteem but it apparently went way deeper than that. I am navigating the world of breaking free of these limiting beliefs and felt the need to share this with my listeners. Do you suffer from Imposter Syndrome? If you do, don’t worry- I got you.

I had the pleasure of interviewing my 9 year old daughter about the Barbie movie and hear her throughs on body image and how women are seen in the world. It was refreshing and enlightening. It was also sad to see that the same feelings I had as a child, of living in a man’s world haven’t changed that much. If you’d like to hear about the world from the perspective of a 9 year old, take a listen.

My friend Talia Jamie came to discuss essential oils and their medicinal purposes. Talia is a gifted Theatre Arts teacher in NYC. She’s won numerous awards for her commitment to Theatre Arts education and to the many students she’s taught and guided. Talia is a wife and mother of two amazing little boys and believes in holistic health and wellness. She is a Wellness Consultant with dōTerra Essential Oils and has been using these oils on herself and her family for 9 years. If you’d like to find Talia on social media to learn more about essential oils and how they can transform your life, you can find her on Instagram @talia_munique Happy Healing!

As many listeners know, my husband James died 3 times in a day last May. This is his account of that day and the realizations he has had as a result. We all need a catalyst to help us see what’s most important and to push us to make the changes we need to live better more fulfilling lives.

Everywhere we look we are seeing or reading about this new phenomenon- this new personality disorder called Narcissism. It’s not new. It’s been present for many, many years. If you’ve dealt with a narcissist you understand how volatile they are. How they manipulate, lie, cheat, steal and abuse the people in their lives. In this episode I discuss what creates this personality disorder and the traits and behaviors of this disorder.

From the bottom of my heart I want to thank my listeners for being here since the conception of this podcast. I know I haven’t been able to be consistent due to health issues I have been having. But I am back because recording for all of you is what gives me purpose and hope. I was recently diagnosed with Lupus after months of not feeling well. Working through healing now, y’all know I am a fighter but even fighters find themselves in dark spaces. I just needed to find the speck of light in that space- remember, always look for the light.

I have been on this self healing journey for some time but recently, a lot of feelings and emotions have come forward in this process. It’s been eye opening, cathartic and also challenging as each emotion(s) has been tied to a triggering memory. It wouldn’t be called a journey if there weren’t hills, winding roads and even some ditches to dig your way out of. I know many of you out there are on a journey of self healing as well so I know I am not alone when I say that this is no easy feat. Hoping this episode can provide insight into your own healing journey and provide some solace.

I decided to stop drinking about 2 years ago. It slowly stopped resonating with me but after explant surgery, I knew drinking was no longer for my highest and best good. In 1999-2017 alcohol related deaths among women in the US rose 85% and this made me ask myself, what are we doing? Somewhere in the midst of women’s liberation and working mom life, we have somehow seemed to normalize women abusing their bodies with alcohol. There have been countless memes depicting women unable to cope with life and motherhood drinking out of gigantic wine glasses or doing Yoga poses with taking sips of wine in between. We have somehow allowed this to become a running joke, but is it? Hospitals have seen a 30-50% increase in alcoholism in women and the largest uptick is in women under 40. Alcohol affects our emotional health, physical health, spiritual health and the health of our families. My purpose of this episode is to educate, inform and if you are a chronic or even an occasional drinker, to simply begin to think about your relationship to alcohol.

Lyn was misdiagnosed with leukemia at the age of 25 years old. This diagnosis was the catalyst that propelled her self healing journey. Lyn spent years working on her physical, spiritual and emotional well being. In doing so, she realized her calling which was to help other women overcome these challenges. Lyn is a certified hypnotist and energy healer, using the healing systems of Body Talk and Body Intuitive as well as holding a Master’s Degree in Somatic Psychology. She is a speaker and author of the Amazon best seller, You Are Not Your Diagnosis. I met Lyn through Facebook and a quick connection was developed as we both have been gaslit by the medical community and we are both in the healing arts. Lyn has created a Facebook group for women, Sisters on the Journey to More Vibrant Health where inspires, teaches and supports women on their healing journeys. You can’t find Lyn on Instagram @heartfirehealing, through her website www.heartfirehealingllc.com and of course through her Facebook group, Sisters on the Journey to More Vibrant Health.

I recently went to a PCP who was supposedly very understanding and an amazing doctor. My interaction with her was not that. It wasn’t about her not doing what I was asking, it was the way she spoke to me and the exchange in general. This is why people stay sick. We have a sick care system and after posting my account on TikTok, I am saddened (but not surprised) to see how many people have encountered the same thing. 142 comments of people experiencing similar or have experienced similar. Shedding light and awareness on this issue. Take a listen.

*Trigger Warning* This episode discusses sexual abuse. I always felt something. Something happened to me as a child and I could never quite remember the details but I just knew. I had some behaviors into my teen years and adulthood that align with sexual abuse but again, I couldn’t remember. I recently had a healing session where this was validated for me. It gave birth to me working on healing myself and releasing this trauma. It pushed me to bare witness to what happened and when so that I could be free of this burden. Often times it’s too painful to acknowledge what has happened to us but healing cannot happen if we are not baring witness to what has been holding us down. We can heal from trauma and live better lives.

I read a great quote from Dr Nicole LaPera aka The Holistic Psychologist yesterday and it resonated so much with me that I felt the need to share it with you. If you haven’t read her book yet, How To Do The Work, I highly recommend you do, if you’re on a healing journey.

The CDC reports that black women experience maternity mortality 2-3 times higher than white women. Black women have a 43% per 100,000 chance of death during delivery and/or post delivery. Alaysha’s story began when her pregnancy was high risk and after discovering she had high blood pressure, she was repeatedly brushed off. After delivery, when she could not breathe, the nurses kept telling her it was anxiety which ultimately led to cardiac arrest and 7 days on a vent. Alaysha was brave enough to share her story with me on this episode. She is a licensed clinical social worker, therapist and Reiki Practitioner. She combines both modalities to help her clients. If you’d like to connect with her for professional or personal reasons, feel free to find her at www.talkandenergy.com or on Instagram @talkandenergy or @layshakay

I have been MIA for a bit as this retrograde has kicked my butt. Have you been feeling it? Issues with communication, gossip, someone from the past resurfacing, issues at work, and technology glitching? Mercury went into retrograde May 10 and just ended a few days ago on June 2. Certain zodiac signs were affected more than others and it was pretty intense. But much like anything else in life, when we are challenged, it’s to teach us a lesson. Mercury retrograde is a time to pause, reflect and process. It’s not always as bad as you think.

Diet culture is rearing it’s ugly head yet again with a new diet that has been getting all the rage. This week, I was asked by two of this programs “health coaches”, and I say that term very loosely, asking what I am doing for my health these days? Crazy question to ask someone who is well versed in health and the body, huh? There are people who restrict certain foods due to autoimmune diseases such as Celiac, Hashimoto’s, Graves, Diabetes etc but if you don’t have an autoimmune disease, chances are you don’t have to restrict foods. It was so difficult for me to go from recovery of disordered eating back to a diet where I now had to restrict foods because of autoimmune issues. What helped me was identifying foods that triggered flare ups and it just made sense to omit them for now. However, these marketable diets disguised as “healthy lifestyle changes” is really pissing me off not to mention their “health coaches” who’s knowledge of health is what they are being fed by the diet program they are pushing. Take a listen if you’re fed up with diet culture and want to say “Eff your diet” too! If you have questions about this episode or anything discussed, email coffeecakeandkegalspodcast@gmail.com or you can find me on Instagram @staceytrapanese_ or @enlightenedsoul_healing

Join me and my guest host, Tiffany Marra Sex Educator as she explains the courses she teaches in Human Sexuality at Rutgers University in NJ. Tiffany’s teaching style is unique as she believes in creating a safe space for her students and tackles the stigmas surrounding sexuality and sexual identity. When she is not busy educating, she is focusing on her second passion, creating delicious treats as a baker with her business partner and friend, Danielle. If you’d like to pick her brain on any topics discussed today or how to speak to your children regarding sex, you can email her at Tam229@womenstudies.rutgers.edu or you can follow her on Instagram @tifftacklesitall and if you’re interested to check out her baking page, feel free to follow @cottageandwhisk ☺️

Join me and my guest host and friend Amanda Porta, who is also known as The Holistic Beauty Coach as we talk about her journey from Breast Implant Illness to advocating for women all over the world. Amanda has been in the beauty industry for the last 18 years and has trained under some of the best practitioners in the country. Her love of innovation inspired her to introduce the concept of wellness to the plastic surgery industry in 2012. She created a non-toxic skin care line. She is passionate about educating and inspiring people to become their personal best. Amanda has found her niche helping other women as a patient advocate for women suffering from Breast Implant Illness. Having gone through this herself, she has explanted, detoxed, healed and has guided women around the world from celebrities to athletes to prominent business women that have trusted her expertise to support them through this health crisis. She is a certified wellness coach and has appeared on KIRO TV, KTLA Channel 5 and has been a guest on numerous podcasts such as, What Say YOU with Gavin McCleod-Valentine, Awesome In and Out with Sarah Anne Stewart and Be Real Babe with Jill Herman. You can follow Amanda on Instagram where she drops daily doses of truth and educational health information @theholisticbeautycoach or you can follow the first holistic breast team @breastteam and keep up with her organization @freethetatazorg Be sure to check out the amazing surgeon Amanda works for @Kevinbrennermd also!

Elena J is a former student of mine and we have always stayed connected via social media. Elena shares many similar views with me regarding body positivity and the importance of mental health. In the time I have know Elena, she has gone through quite a journey of self discovery. She went from college, to the military, to corporate jobs and has landed in her sweet spot. Elena is a Body Positivity Coach and Sex Worker. She has been using her voice to destigmatize consensual sex work and help people become more comfortable in their own skin. If you’d like to connect with Elena, you can find her on Instagram and Only Fans as @masokitty13