At Last She Said It

What is spirituality? Am I doing it right? What does it look or feel like? Who decides? Episode 179 rounds out the intro of our theme with an exploration of James Finley’s idea: “The greatest teacher of God’s presence in our life is our life.” Cynthia and Susan discuss the difference between communication and communion, finding points of connection in our daily experiences, and identifying and/or choosing personal spiritual practices for ourselves.

Like flowers in the cracks of a sidewalk, women’s spirituality has had to work its way around and through thousands of years of religious beliefs and practices established and maintained by and for men. “I have stopped trying to make my life look spiritually acceptable to men. Men have very specific criteria for what spirituality is, based on the reality that men have been the only ones writing religious rites and scripture,” explains Brittney Hartley. Her words are deeply resonant for many Latter-day Saint women who struggle to grow our own spirituality in a church that is patriarchy all the way down. In Episode 178, Brittney joins Cynthia and Susan for a conversation about women defining and redefining for ourselves what spirituality can be.

“There is room to honor and hold space for the precious and the meaningful even as we evolve in our beliefs, our homes, and our lives. It’s okay to bring some things with you.” These wise words from writer Sarah Bessey help shape the conversation of this Season 8 opener. Everyone who’s moved knows it can be hard to decide what to toss and what to keep. Latter-day Saint women may find it challenging to honor the evolution of our personal faith within the church brand we’ve known and loved. It's okay to need more space! How can we incorporate good fruit gleaned from new sources—those off-brand beliefs or practices we’ve found outside our previous boundaries that feel expansive, nourishing, or even essential to our growth?

In this short bonus episode, Susan and Cynthia look ahead to the upcoming season of podcast conversations. Season 8 will center on Latter-day Saint women digging and drawing from our individual spiritual wells. Hope you’ll join us!

In this bonus episode, Cynthia and Susan revisit part of an earlier discussion exploring the idea of Latter-day Saint women’s complicity in our own marginalization. Recent events have once again highlighted ways women may be the biggest obstacle to achieving greater parity of roles within the organization. It’s still an itchy topic with no easy answers. This conversation is a call for women to support other women as a necessary first step to change. The underlying question remains: if we can’t allow for—and sit with each other in—different experiences, can we truly love one another?

On March 17, 2024 the Church broadcast a Worldwide Relief Society Devotional featuring remarks from the RS General Presidency and President Nelson. In this bonus episode, Cynthia and Susan discuss some of the messages delivered and the social media outpouring from Latter-day Saint women in response.

Some topics come up in these podcast conversations again and again, and that gets our attention. They frustrate us but also feel like obvious opportunities: areas where the church we love could take a step forward, and even small changes might make a big difference. In Episode 173, Cynthia and Susan call out a few of their frustrations and imagine possible responses that would feel like real progress.

Talk a lot about guilt and shame and eventually, you'll probably crave a hefty dose of grace! The conversation in Episode 172 is just that. Cynthia and Susan focus on challenges Latter-day Saints might have decoupling works and grace. Is it possible accepting grace actually requires more faith than depending on our own good works? How might pivoting toward grace propel us forward? Good news spoiler: We don’t have to save ourselves!

In Episode 171, Susan and Cynthia continue their discussion with therapist C.A. Larson about guilt and shame. Where are they coming from? What are some specific ways these emotions might affect Latter-day Saint women, and how can we recognize and work through them in healthy ways?

“The most liberating process is to realize that no one’s expectations for my life matter but my own,” says therapist C.A. Larson. In Episode 170, she joins Cynthia and Susan for the first part of a discussion about guilt and shame. What’s the difference between these two emotions? How do they help or hinder our growth and progress? And what tools can we use to manage them in healthy ways, and move toward greater self-acceptance?

“My religious life is beyond the confines of my ward or stake,” says Lisa Torcasso Downing, a Latter-day Saint woman for whom using her voice is an integral part of her faith life. She describes her long-running blog, Life Outside the Book of Mormon Belt: "That's where I’ve been saying it!” In Episode 169, she joins Susan and Cynthia for a rich conversation about everything from her unique conversion story to some of the foundational ideas that shaped her Mormonism to the ups and downs of learning to advocate.

Some questions need to be revisited often so we don’t lose sight of the fact that no satisfactory answer has been given. In Episode 91, Cynthia asked, “If history shows that patriarchy is bad for women, and data shows that girls and women fare better when they can see themselves at every level of leadership in our churches, schools, and societies…why do LDS women and men continue to cling to old ideas that deny history and data?” Unfortunately, her question stands, as little if any progress has been made. In Episode 168 we preface a rerun of this previous conversation with a few of the thoughts we have about it now.

Sometimes it’s good to just have fun! Episode 167 is a peek behind the curtain at ALSSI. Cynthia and Susan turn on the mics for an unscripted chat about everything from podcaster-pet-peeves to “spilled tea” to Christmas traditions. It’s the kind of conversation that’s probably good to publish now and then just to remind ourselves and everyone else: we’re two average LDS women trying to keep it together and figuring stuff out as we go.

Lyric Montgomery Kinard uses the word expansion to describe her faith journey because, as she says, “it feels like spirituality has burst my Mormon box wide-open.” In Episode 166, she joins Susan and Cynthia to talk about her experiences as a Latter-day Saint. It’s another glimpse into the life of a woman who’s given herself permission to walk the path in her own way, honest about what fills her and what doesn’t, and willing to speak her truth.

We asked, you answered! In Bonus Episode 165, women from the ALSSI community share personal experiences and thoughts about Patriarchal Blessings.

When it comes to Patriarchal Blessings, there are as many experiences as there are members who give and receive them. In Episode 164, Cynthia and Susan are joined by Blakelee Ellis for a discussion about some of the many ways these highly anticipated blessings can be complicated for Latter-day Saint women. From the experience itself to the advice given or promises made, there can be plenty to unpack at the time the words are spoken, but also as we continue to revisit the transcript throughout our lives.

The image of the compass feels central to Autumn McAlpin’s book, But Jesus: A Conversation. Autumn explains, “Right now, my spiritual practice is centered on this—I read pure religion as found in the gospels in the New Testament, then try my best to keep up…” In Episode 163, she joins Cynthia and Susan to talk about the journey behind the book, and how her experiences as a mother and Latter-day Saint LGBTQ+ ally continue to shape her commitment to following Jesus and focusing on love.

“I’m tired of putting Jesus in a hermeneutical box nailed together by patriarchal exegesis,” says Kajsa Berlin-Kaufusi. In Episode 162, she joins Cynthia and Susan to discuss what those words mean. What might they mean specifically for Latter-day Saint women as we approach the New Testament with a desire to broaden our scriptural understanding and interpretation? Can we excavate meaning by uncovering and examining biblical women in new light?

“In the fleet, I'll sail my own boat,” says Debbie Squires-Coleman. In Episode 161, she joins Cynthia and Susan from her home in England to share this and other insights in an Embracing Your Journey discussion about her experiences as a Latter-day Saint woman. It’s a conversation about relationships and growth, full of wise glimpses into how it’s possible to walk together in love, even on divergent paths.

In Bonus Episode 160, Susan and Cynthia share and discuss more ALSSI listener voicemails.