How to Split a Toaster: A Divorce Podcast About Saving Your Relationships

Apologies and Relationships: How to Say Sorry and Mean It In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete dive into the art of apologizing effectively with special guest Susan McCarthy, co-author of Sorry, Sorry, Sorry: The Case for Good Apologies. Together, they explore the anatomy of a sincere apology, discuss common pitfalls, and share insights on how mastering the apology can improve your relationships, especially during a divorce – and we’re not just talking about with your spouse or ex but your kids as well! Susan, a renowned author who has written about animal behavior and humor, brings her expertise on crafting effective apologies to the conversation. Seth and Pete engage her in a thought-provoking discussion on why people struggle with apologizing, the importance of teaching children how to apologize correctly, and how a well-executed apology can make a significant difference in the divorce process. Questions we answer in this episode: Key Takeaways: This episode offers valuable insights for anyone looking to improve their communication skills and strengthen their relationships. Whether you're going through a divorce or simply want to learn how to apologize effectively, Seth, Pete, and Susan provide practical advice and real-life examples to help you navigate the complexities of saying "I'm sorry" and meaning it. Links & Notes SorryWatch.comhardbackpaperbackSchedule a consult with SethClick here!

Divorce can be a complicated process, especially with children. The acronym PEACE can be used to remember the major points. We talk through each of the points on the show today. When filing for divorce, keep these in mind. P –Parenting Plan:E –Equitable Distribution:A –Alimony:C –Child Support:E –Everything Else: This conversation goes back to the beginning for a refresher in the core elements to keep in mind when you’re going through a divorce. Links & Notes Schedule a consult with SethClick here!

Listener Questions on Alimony, Co-Parenting, and More In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright dive into their mailbag to answer pressing questions from listeners. From alimony calculations to co-parenting challenges, Seth and Pete offer their insights and advice on navigating the complexities of divorce. Seth and Pete tackle a range of topics, including how judges handle parenting plans for previously uninvolved parents, the intricacies of Florida's new alimony statute, and strategies for dealing with uncooperative ex-spouses in co-parenting arrangements. They also share the origin story of the podcast and express gratitude for their dedicated listeners. Questions we answer in this episode: Key Takeaways: Plus, Kristin asks about the origins of the How to Split a Toaster podcast. Seth and Pete take a walk down memory lane, recounting their initial meeting, early podcast ideas, and the journey that led to the creation of their successful show. This episode is packed with valuable information for anyone navigating a divorce or co-parenting relationship. Seth and Pete's expert advice, combined with their engaging banter, makes for an informative and entertaining listen. Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of crucial divorce-related issues and discover strategies for handling common challenges. Links & Notes Schedule a consult with SethClick here!

In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete dive into the challenging topic of how divorce impacts children. They're joined by special guest Cathy Himlin, a reunification/conjoint family therapist, to discuss the child-centered approach in divorce parenting and what parents need to know to maintain a healthy connection with their kids. Seth, Pete, and Cathy explore how parents' grief, anxiety, and emotions during the divorce process can affect children. They discuss the concept of "emotional contagion" and how kids pick up on and model their parents' behavior and feelings. Cathy shares insights from her work in court-involved family therapy, explaining how she helps children who have rejected a parent due to the emotional fallout of divorce. Questions we answer in this episode: Key Takeaways: Throughout the episode, Seth, Pete, and Cathy provide valuable advice and strategies for parents navigating the challenges of divorce with their children. They emphasize the importance of validating children's emotions, offering sincere apologies when necessary, and consistently working to maintain a strong, supportive parent-child relationship. This episode is a must-listen for any parent going through a divorce who wants to better understand their child's perspective and learn practical ways to help them cope with the emotional impact of this significant life change. Plus, we answer a listener question about social investigations! Links & Notes Himlin ConsultingSchedule a consult with SethClick here!

Navigating Your Financial Mindset After Divorce In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete dive into the psychological impact of divorce on financial decision making. They're joined by certified financial planner Ben Hockema, who shares his insights on helping individuals rebuild their lives and relationship with money post-divorce. Seth, Pete, and Ben explore how divorce can drastically change one's financial psychology, often leading to a scarcity mindset. They discuss the importance of processing the loss of a "financial partner" and the stages of undoing the experience with a poor one. Ben emphasizes the need for a grieving period before making any irrevocable financial decisions and shares his approach to helping clients start fresh with a new financial plan tailored to their individual goals. Questions we answer in this episode: Key Takeaways: This episode offers valuable insights for anyone navigating the financial and emotional challenges of divorce. Seth, Pete, and Ben provide practical advice and reassurance that with time, support, and a fresh perspective, it's possible to rebuild a healthy relationship with money and move forward with confidence. Plus, we answer a listener question! Links & Notes on the webInstagramLinkedInFacebookSchedule a call with BenThe Trance of Scarcity by Victoria CastleSchedule a consult with SethClick here!

In this episode, Seth and Pete welcome Josef Stetter, also known as "The Résumé Whisperer," to share his insights on creating a compelling post-divorce résumé that will help you land the job you desire. Seth and Pete discuss with Josef the challenges faced by individuals re-entering the workforce after a divorce. They explore strategies for highlighting transferable skills, quantifying accomplishments, and showcasing the unique value you bring to the table. Josef emphasizes the importance of tailoring your résumé to the specific job and company you're targeting, rather than relying on generic approaches. Questions we answer in this episode: Key Takeaways: Josef also shares practical tips for acing the job interview, including coming prepared, projecting confidence, and focusing on quantifiable achievements rather than just duties and responsibilities. Seth and Pete engage in a lively discussion with Josef, providing examples and actionable advice for listeners navigating the post-divorce job search. This episode is packed with valuable insights and strategies for creating a standout post-divorce résumé and acing the job interview. Whether you've been out of the workforce for a while or are looking to switch careers, Josef's expert guidance will help you showcase your unique strengths and land the job you deserve. Plus, we tackle a listener question about bringing AI into your divorce. Links & Notes the webLinkedInTwitter/XInstagramFacebookYouTubeSchedule a consult with SethClick here! Establishing trust with Co-Parents can be difficult when alcohol abuse is involved. Use Soberlink as an opportunity to improve co-parenting arrangements. Visit their site to learn more and get a promo code for $50 off.

Rewriting Your Money Story During Divorce In this episode, Seth and Pete aim to help listeners understand the role money plays during divorce. They are joined by guest Jennifer Lee, founder of Modern Wealth, who specializes in helping people take control of their money story. Jennifer provides insights into common money issues that arise during divorce and how to overcome emotional and practical hurdles. The main discussion focuses on understanding your unique money story, dealing with financial fears and uncertainty, and practical steps to regain control of your finances. Key themes include rewriting limiting beliefs around money, budgeting, handling joint accounts, and planning for the future. Questions we answer in this episode: Key Takeaways: Plus, we tackle another listener question! Donna asks about how to move forward with divorce when her estranged husband controls their insurance and finances. Seth and Pete advise speaking to a lawyer to understand her options and rights. Knowledge is power. This episode delivers incredible value, whether you're already divorced or just considering it. Jennifer provides wisdom and practical steps to overcome financial hurdles and gain confidence. It's a must-listen for anyone looking to rewrite their money story and thrive. Links & Notes the webLinkedInInstagramFacebookYouTubeCheck out Jennifer’s book Squeeze the JuiceSchedule a consult with SethClick here! Establishing trust with Co-Parents can be difficult when alcohol abuse is involved. Use Soberlink as an opportunity to improve co-parenting arrangements. Visit their site to learn more and get a promo code for $50 off.

Fueling Your Body Through Divorce and Beyond Seth and Pete welcome Jill Moellering, a functional nutritional therapy practitioner, to discuss how divorce affects our relationship with food. Jill offers guidance on overcoming disordered eating and embracing a balanced approach to nutrition. This compelling episode tackles the mental and emotional roots of unhealthy eating habits. Seth and Pete explore how grief, loss of control, and stress – factors in any divorce – impact our food choices. Jill provides practical strategies to become more mindful, such as focusing on how different foods make you feel and keeping a food journal. Questions we answer in this episode: Key Takeaways: Plus, we tackle a listener question about navigating separation when unmarried with a child. Seth explains the differences in this "parental divorce" and stresses the importance of finding a lawyer familiar with paternity law. Though the emotional impact is similar, the legal process differs without a marriage. This episode will inspire you to build a healthier relationship with food, even amidst the turmoil of divorce. Tune in to gain practical nutrition tips and a deeper understanding of your eating habits. Links & Notes Whole Bean WellnessInstagramFacebookYouTubeSchedule a consult with SethClick here! Establishing trust with Co-Parents can be difficult when alcohol abuse is involved. Use Soberlink as an opportunity to improve co-parenting arrangements. Visit their site to learn more and get a promo code for $50 off.

In this empowering episode, Seth and Pete are joined by Beverly Price, founder of Her Empowered Divorce, to discuss how to overcome domestic abuse and take control of divorce proceedings. Beverly shares her personal story of persevering through multiple divorces and emerging stronger. She provides insights on effective communication, documenting abuse, and building a supportive team. This is an inspiring conversation about reclaiming your agency during a challenging time. Key Takeaways Questions We Answer Plus, we tackle another listener question on changes in Florida divorce law! This empathetic episode provides encouragement and practical tools to help anyone facing a contentious split take control of their situation, reclaim their self-worth, and ultimately transition from victim to survivor. Beverly shares her own inspiring journey as well as expert tips to empower yourself and get results during divorce proceedings. Links & Notes the webLinkedInInstagramFacebookYouTubeHer Empowered Divorce PodcastGet Beverly’s free ebook Comprehensive Divorce Checklist hereDivorce CoalitionSchedule a consult with SethClick here! Establishing trust with Co-Parents can be difficult when alcohol abuse is involved. Use Soberlink as an opportunity to improve co-parenting arrangements. Visit their site to learn more and get a promo code for $50 off.

“We owe it to them to ensure they’re not collateral damage due to this divorce.” Meet Sarah Armstrong Sarah works at Google but decided as a side gig to write her book “The Mom’s Guide to a Good Divorce: What to Think Through When Children Are Involved” largely because it gave her the opportunity to share what she’d learned during her own divorce with others. And that’s not to say her divorce was a cakewalk. It was hard. It provided challenges for her, her ex, and their daughter. But through it all, they maintained the belief that they had to do what was best for their daughter. Hence, the good divorce. Seth and Pete talk to Sarah about the decision to make the divorce a good one and how it shaped everything from that point forward. They talk about what it means to ‘do what’s best for the children.’ They discuss logistics, scheduling conflicts, and soccer games. They also talk about the battles over things like first right of refusal. It’s also important to think beyond the years your kids will be under your roofs. What about when they’re older? Are you working to build that relationship beyond 18? How should you act when they’re young? Should you consider counseling for your child? It’s a wide-ranging conversation that digs into a lot of topics that can help you as you work through your own divorce. About Sarah Sarah Armstrong, good divorce proponent and author of The Mom’s Guide to a Good Divorce, is vice president, global marketing operations, at Google and proud mom of Grace, who will be a sophomore in college in the fall of 2022. Sarah is a mentor to other women in business, and longtime volunteer at various nonprofit organizations, including Jack & Jill Late Stage Cancer Foundation, Georgetown Alumni Admissions Program and Trinity Table Soup Kitchen. Prior to joining Google, Sarah was a partner at McKinsey & Co. and worked at The Coca-Cola Company in global marketing for twenty years, where she led Worldwide Agency Operations across 200 countries. Sarah started her career at Leo Burnett (Chicago) in Media. Sarah’s work has been recognized around the world, resulting in her being named one of Ad Age’s “Women to Watch” and included in Ad Age’s Book of Tens (“Top Ten Who Made Their Mark in 2009”). Sarah was raised in Birmingham, Michigan with two younger brothers and happily married parents (for over fifty years and still going strong). She attended Georgetown University, as a scholarship athlete, earning a Bachelor of Science degree from the School of Business Administration with a major in marketing. She was a four-year starter on the Georgetown University Volleyball Team. Sarah loves traveling the world and has been fortunate to travel to 55+ countries. She enjoys exploring new cities with Grace whenever possible. Sarah lives in San Francisco. Links & Notes Sarah’s WebsiteLinkedInFacebookThe Mom’s Guide to a Good Divorce: What to Think Through When Children Are InvolvedSchedule a consult with SethClick here!

How do you heal after living through the trauma of divorce? How do you help your kids heal when they live through their own experience of your trauma? Whether you consider yours an easy divorce, or a hard one, the act of separating lives is traumatic, and the impact of trauma can sneak up on you. As we wrap up this season of the show, we want to take some time to talk about that healing process and we have the perfect guest to help us do that. Dee Wallace is an actor and a healer, and she’s spent the last twenty years of her career in channeled healing work. She is an advocate and teacher in the art of self-creation and the author of five books on the subject. She’s also been divorced more than once and knows a thing or two about healing through trauma herself. As an actor, you might have seen one of her more than 260 credits including E.T., Cujo, The Howling, and on, and on, and on. What’s more, her most important role is as “Mom” to Toaster alum Gabrielle Stone, who taught us all about her divorce experience in Eat, Pray, #FML. Dee’s career and relationship stories make for an incredible conversation and we’re deeply grateful for her time, participation, and joy in the Toaster this week. We’re setting up for a short break as we head into the holiday season and will be replaying a few of our favorite episodes over the next month or so, but we’ll be back with new episodes in February. We’re grateful for this community, and all of you out there working to save your most important relationships. On behalf of all of us on Team Toaster — Seth, Pete, Andy, Melissa, Ken, and Karolynn — we wish you a happy holiday season full of peace, love, and joy.

Navigating the Appeals Process in Divorce with Judge Matt Lucas For our final episode of the season, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright chat with Judge Matt Lucas, an appellate court judge from the Florida Second District Court of Appeals, about the mysterious appeals process in divorce cases. They aim to shed light on what an appeal is, what appellate judges do, and what happens behind the scenes at the appellate court. This insightful episode covers the technical details of appeals and how they differ from the original divorce trial. Judge Lucas provides an inside look at this complex process from an experienced judge's perspective. The discussion focuses on the mechanics of appeals - what grounds are needed to file one, the specific issues that can be appealed, the logistics of how appeals courts operate, and more. Questions we answer in this episode: Key Takeaways: This episode offers rare insight into the mysterious appeals process direct from an appellate judge. Seth and Pete breakdown this complex topic in an accessible way, making it easy to understand for anyone going through a divorce. Listeners will learn what to expect during appeals and how to navigate them effectively. Links & Notes Check out Judge Lucas’ books!Schedule a consult with SethClick here!

Reinvent Yourself After Divorce In this week's episode, Seth and Pete chat with midlife reinvention expert Dawn Fleming about rebuilding your life after divorce. They cover everything from rediscovering old hobbies to going back to school to finding new purpose and passion. Seth and Pete start by unpacking Dawn's own "attorney turned alchemist" story. She shares how she reinvented herself multiple times through divorce, career changes, spiritual journeys, and ultimately creating a life of adventure and service with her husband. Some key themes explored include: Questions we answer in this episode: Key Takeaways: Plus, we tackle a listener question about how Seth handles working with clients who have emotional dysregulation or mental health issues during the divorce process. This uplifting episode will leave you feeling empowered, motivated, and excited about the possibilities ahead after divorce. Tune in for an insightful discussion on reinventing yourself! Links & Notes claimyourdreamlifebook.comlifeinparadisepodcast.comSchedule a consult with SethClick here!

Transforming Mindset and Finding Hope After Divorce Seth and Pete welcome Hilary DeCesare, founder of Relaunch Co. and expert in neuropsychology, to discuss shifting limiting beliefs during divorce. This episode focuses on adjusting your mindset during a challenging life transition like divorce. Hilary shares her 3HQ model for getting into your best emotional and mental state before major conversations or decisions. Questions we answer in this episode: Key Takeaways: Hilary introduces her TuneIn process to help people get into their "G-zone" - a state of gratitude, growth and greatness. This four-step practice takes just two minutes but can rewire your perspective before big moments. Seth and Pete also discuss using music and imagination games to ease difficult transitions for kids. Whether you feel stuck in negativity or want to manifest an empowered mindset, this episode provides actionable tips to transform your emotional experience during divorce. Tune in to gain hope and clarity. Links & Notes on the WebLinkedInFacebookInstagramYouTubeThe Relaunch PodcastRead Hilary’s Book ReLaunch! Spark Your Heart To Ignite Your LifeTry the Tune In Power ToolSchedule a consult with SethClick here!

Seth and Pete welcome back author and astrologer Bethany Nicole for a fun, end-of-year bonus episode to dive into astrology and what their birth charts reveal about themselves. Can ancient astrological wisdom provide guidance and direction or is this just a fun experiment? Bethany interprets Seth and Pete's charts to uncover strengths, weaknesses, and life paths. This astrology session provides some eye-opening self-discovery and personal growth for the hosts, all while allowing for a lighthearted way to wrap up the year. With an open mind, Seth and Pete gain some insights into their subconscious drivers, relationship patterns, and keys to fulfilling their potential. Though initially skeptical, they have an entertaining time peeling back the layers of their inner selves. Links & Notes Visit Bethany’s site to find her book and get a readingListen to our past episode with BethanySeth’sPete’sSchedule a consult with SethClick here! Establishing trust with Co-Parents can be difficult when alcohol abuse is involved. Use Soberlink as an opportunity to improve co-parenting arrangements. Visit their site to learn more and get a promo code for $50 off.

Get Answers to Your Divorce Questions In this week's episode, Seth and Pete tackle real questions submitted by listeners who are going through a divorce or have been affected by one. They provide practical tips and legal perspectives to help you navigate some of the common issues that arise during separation and divorce. Seth and Pete aim to offer actionable advice and reassurance that you're not alone in this difficult process. Their insights can help you make informed decisions and feel empowered, whether you hope to salvage your relationship or move forward apart. A Few Questions we answer in this episode: This candid episode provides perspective on dealing with some of divorce's toughest challenges. Seth and Pete's compassionate approach makes it easier to cope during this transition. Links & Notes Schedule a consult with SethClick here! Establishing trust with Co-Parents can be difficult when alcohol abuse is involved. Use Soberlink as an opportunity to improve co-parenting arrangements. Visit their site to learn more and get a promo code for $50 off.

Navigating Narcissistic Relationships and Healing After Divorce Seth and Pete welcome Dr. Justine Weber, a psychologist who helps people recover from narcissistic abuse. They discuss how to identify narcissistic behaviors, cope with divorce from a narcissist, and heal after leaving the relationship. The conversation focuses on rebuilding your sense of self and reality after narcissistic conditioning. Justine offers insights into childhood attachment styles and trauma responses that can lead people to end up with narcissistic partners. Questions we answer in this episode: Key Takeaways: Overall, this episode explores thoughtful strategies for healing and reclaiming your life after leaving a narcissistic relationship. Justine offers compassionate guidance to help anyone struggling with these issues. Links & Notes TikTokInstagramFacebookHer WebsiteBuy Dr. Weber’s New Book!Schedule a consult with SethClick here! Establishing trust with Co-Parents can be difficult when alcohol abuse is involved. Use Soberlink as an opportunity to improve co-parenting arrangements. Visit their site to learn more and get a promo code for $50 off.

Financial Abuse, Credit Card Debt, and Rebuilding Finances Post-Divorce In this informative episode, Seth and Pete dive into the heavy topic of financial abuse with expert guest, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and Accredited Financial Counselor Leah Hadley. They discuss the various forms of financial abuse, the mindsets and behaviors that enable it, and most importantly, how to recover and rebuild your financial life after divorce when financial abuse was present. Leah shares her wisdom and experience in helping clients heal from financial abuse and become empowered, intentional money managers. Key themes include reframing your relationship with money, budgeting with intention, reducing credit card debt strategically, and planning for your financial future. A Few Questions we answer in this episode: Key Takeaways: Seth, Pete, and Leah Hadley deliver an insightful look at financial abuse and provide helpful strategies for listeners rebuilding their financial lives after divorce. Tune in to gain knowledge that can lead to financial confidence and empowerment. More About Leah Leah Hadley, host of Intentional Divorce Insights, is an experienced mediator, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and Accredited Financial Counselor. She is committed to providing compassionate financial guidance through life transitions. Leah will tell you she’s had many challenging financial times in her adult life–adopting a sibling group of three, getting divorced, and building a business from the ground up to name a few. These have been times when her ability to hunt down appropriate resources and careful financial planning was critical to her peace of mind. A former investment analyst and sought-after speaker, Leah is the founder of Intentional Divorce Solutions and Great Lakes Investment Management. Leah uses her knowledge and more than 15 years of experience to help her clients make intentional financial decisions. Links & Notes her websiteon LinkedInon YouTubeInstagramSchedule a consult with SethClick here! Establishing trust with Co-Parents can be difficult when alcohol abuse is involved. Use Soberlink as an opportunity to improve co-parenting arrangements. Visit their site to learn more and get a promo code for $50 off.

Rediscovering Purpose After Divorce In this thoughtful episode, Seth and Pete explore the journey of finding meaning after divorce. They're joined by therapist and author Furkhan Dandia, who shares his own divorce story and path to advocacy. Together, they take an enlightening look at processing divorce trauma in a healthy way. They touch on moving past limiting beliefs, redefining relationships, and gaining resilience. While centered on men's experiences, their insights apply to anyone seeking growth after divorce. Questions we answer in this episode: Key Takeaways: Plus, we tackle another listener question! A divorced dad asks for advice on visiting his autistic son who can get violent. Seth offers practical tips like meeting in public, having a plan if things escalate, and even hiring an off-duty officer for supervision. This inspiring episode provides insights on mental health, resilience, and discovering purpose after divorce. Tune in for an uplifting perspective on healing, recovery, and growth. Links & Notes on the webLinkedInX (Twitter)InstagramFacebookTikTokYouTubeFurkhan’s Podcast EZ ConversationsFurkhan’s Book Pursuit of Self-LoveCold Plunge Wim Hof MethodSchedule a consult with SethClick here! Establishing trust with Co-Parents can be difficult when alcohol abuse is involved. Use Soberlink as an opportunity to improve co-parenting arrangements. Visit their site to learn more and get a promo code for $50 off.

Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse in Relationships This week's episode dives deep into the warning signs of narcissism, how to protect yourself if you're in a relationship with a narcissist – or trying to get out of one – and the journey to rediscover your self-worth after experiencing narcissistic abuse. Seth and Pete's guests share from their expertise as therapists and life coaches that specialize in healthier relationships. Questions we answer in this episode: Key Takeaways: This compassionate and insightful conversation offers real tools to identify narcissism, enforce boundaries, and rediscover self-love after trauma. Listen in for an empowering discussion about overcoming narcissists' manipulative tactics. Links & Notes TheLoveFix.comSchedule a consult with SethClick here! Establishing trust with Co-Parents can be difficult when alcohol abuse is involved. Use Soberlink as an opportunity to improve co-parenting arrangements. Visit their site to learn more and get a promo code for $50 off.