Twisting the Plot

On this week’s podcast we discuss Cecilia’s plot twisting interest in the mystics.

We’re back. And still twisting our plots. Listen to our new podcast where we discuss Hannah’s latest creative project.

Pain. Do we ever really talk about it? Nobody wants to have it. Everybody wants it to go away. But what do we do when pain visits? And visit it will, to each of us. Listen to our new podcast where we consider Hannah’s recent pain and its reverberation on her life.

Join us for part two of our conversation with Ryan Backer. Ryan Backer is an age activist striving to undo ageism within an intersectional context. They identify as a white, non-binary ‘old person in training’ and they have an undergraduate degree in Gerontology. They are a co-founder of OldSchool.info, a clearinghouse of anti-ageism resources and an international hub for age activism.

Ryan Backer is an age activist striving to undo ageism within an intersectional context. They identify as a white, non-binary ‘old person in training’ and they have an undergraduate degree in Gerontology. They are a co-founder of OldSchool.info, a clearinghouse of anti-ageism resources and an international hub for age activism. Join us for a two-part conversation with Ryan. We talk about aging and the problem with binaries. We imagine how queering age could open possibilities for us all. Together we contemplate being old persons in training.

This week we bring back one of our most popular podcast guests, Laura Davis, to talk about the power of writing our stories. Laura, who wrote the award-winning memoir The Burning Light of Two Stars, tells us how she writes to gain perspective and make sense of her evolving life. To our delight, she shares her process in teaching students who take her classes and join her writing retreats. We love this conversation. We, like Laura Davis, believe in writing as a tool for self-awareness and transformation. But she explains it so well. Take a listen. For more information about Laura Davis, her books and her writing retreats, visit www.lauradavis.net Write, Travel, Transform…and Eat! Join me for a magical retreat in Tuscany in May of 2023! www.lauradavis.net/Tuscany Writing as a Pathway Through Grief, Loss, Uncertainty and Change: Experience the power of healing, the gift of supportive community & the profound impact guided writing can have in facing the unknown with courage. Learn more here. Free Ebook: Writing Toward Courage: A 30-Day Practice. Click here to receive this beautiful, thought-provoking creative gift. www.lauradavis.net/courage/ Check out Laura Davis on Facebook Check out Laura Davis on Instagram

We did not go into this conversation easily. Talking about money isn’t something we’re comfortable with. The question, what about money is important to you, is a hard one for us to answer. We don’t want to think about it. In fact, the culture of consumption, accumulation, marketing and money-making turns us off, provokes waves of nausea. And even brings up shame. But this conversation was different. Laura Rotter brought a plot twist. It was pleasant, open, hopeful and even spiritual. Take a listen, if you can, we promise you will have fun. Laura Rotter, CFA, CFP is the owner of True Abundance Advisors, a heart-centered, values-based financial planning firm based in New York. After a successful career managing money for institutional investors including Citicorp and Para Advisors, Laura discovered mindfulness practices and was drawn to guide professionals facing a big life change to achieve both financial security and life satisfaction. Since making her shift, she has been featured in CNBC, the Wall Street Journal, The New York Times and Westchester Senior Voice, is on the advisory council of Impact100 Westchester, a women’s group giving organization, and volunteers with Savvy Ladies and My Money Workshop, teaching financial literacy to underserved communities. Check Out TrueAbundanceAdvisors.com Laura Rotter on Facebook Laura Rotter on LinkedIn Laura Rotter on Twitter Laura Rotter on Instagram

Hannah and Cecilia sat down to chat recently, and found the conversation moving in an unexpected direction. We started asking, what matters now at this stage in our lives? Up until recently, our lives have been driven by external markers, jobs, degrees, partners and successes. But now there seems to be some buried impulse, more internal, emerging and wanting to take the lead. Listen to this week’s podcast as we try to figure out how to listen to ourselves in different ways and forage new paths to live by.

Sleep is not a dead space, but a doorway to a different kind of consciousness – one that is reflective and restorative, full of tangential thought and unexpected insights. In winter, we are invited into a particular mode of sleep: not a regimented eight hours, but a slow, ambulatory process in which waking thoughts merge with dreams, and space is made in the blackest hours to repair the fragmented narratives of our days. - Katherine May from Wintering It’s here, the pull for the long winter’s nap. Time to slow down, time to review, time to take in and make sense of all that’s been. We crave it. Rest. We have a feeling we are not alone. So much is demanded of us day in and day out. And resting isn’t baked into our cultural course. In fact, most of us feel uncomfortable, even anxious, when trying to take a break from busyness. We don’t know how to do it. We don’t know how to be still. We have forgotten how to listen to ourselves, or how to notice our dreams. We are too busy to stop and remember what’s past, to savor the moment, or imagine a future. Still, we can try. It’s been a full year. We’re getting older and thinking and feeling differently about things. Listen to the Twisting the Plot podcast and learn how we want to give our plots the twist of rest and digest.

We all tell stories about our lives, some we make up, and some we inherit. Through stories, we figure out who we are, where we’ve been, and where we’re headed. Stories grow as we grow. Our stories about ourselves as individuals and as a collective, are not static things that once set, never evolve. In fact, most of us encounter crossroads or thresholds of change where the past, present and the future become unclear. It is during these transitional times that our past stories must be retold, roles transformed, and feelings re-experienced and then reconfigured into a new life script. In this way, our life story making is not just for our pleasure. It is also our work. Life Story Work is the process of making meaning and connecting more deeply to ourselves and with others. It is the work of expanding our identities, resolving our traumas, and integrating our losses. It is the creative act of growing, personally and culturally. It’s hard work, and it’s also the way we evolve. On Twisting the Plot Podcast, Dr. Shoshi Keisari explains life story work as a therapy, and tells us why it is crucial to our ongoing development, especially as we age. Take a listen. Dr. Shoshi Keisari is a drama therapist and a lecturer at the School of Creative Arts Therapies, University of Haifa, Israel. She researches arts participation in aging, clinical gerontology, and the use of drama therapy in grief work and palliative care. Dr. Keisari has published numerous articles and co-authored a book, An Introduction to Psychotherapeutic Playback theatre: Hall of Mirrors on Stage

This week Twisting the Plot Podcast offers Part II of our conversation with the GenZer, Fran Dintino. In many ways, this conversation is just getting started. There is so much to explore, so many diverse lenses through which to look at one’s life experience. Intergenerational conversations lead to intergenerational living that is rich and expanding. We stand on the backs of each other, one generation to the next, forever connected, always in flux. Our shared narratives twist over and over so that we can evolve, and evolve more. Listen as Boomers Hannah and Cecilia talk with GenZer Fran about community, mental health, our bodies, and aging. Fran concludes our musings with a call to cultivate a “radically open mind.” We like this very much and will try our best. Maybe you would like to join us.

We are years and years apart. There are decades between us, the Boomers and the Gen Zer’s. Our world views are different. Our narratives do not line up. Can we get along? Are we able to listen to each other? We use different language, we have varied values, we embody diverse identities. We look different, think different and feel different. Is it possible to understand each other? We’re not sure. But we’ll try. On this weeks’ podcast we talk with 21-year-old Fran Dintino about generational stereotypes, gender and the many waves of feminism. Take a listen and join in the conversation.

We often talk about how our minds and bodies are changing as we age. But what about our spirit? Does that evolve too? And what do we mean when we speak about the spirit? To us, spirit means that which is felt but not seen. Perspective, inner voice, energetic connection with others, gratitude, love and a mindful appreciation for the complexity of life, is what we call – spirit. To us, this experience of spirit seems to be growing as we age. We are not alone. Erik Erikson and his wife Joan Erikson added a ninth stage to their eight stages of psychosocial development. They defined it as a time for self-reflection, deep life review and resolution. Abraham Maslow termed self-transcendence as a later stage in the hierarchy of human needs. Sociologist Lars Tornstam coined the term gerotranscendence, defining it as a time where we develop a more existential relationship to our lives and relationships. In gerotranscendence we are less egoic, less materialistic, more altruistic, with expanded awareness and tolerance for the whole of life. We know it sounds a bit unpractical and not pragmatic, but we like that. What about you? Are you noticing the edges of something cosmic beckoning to you? We would love to hear about your twists.

Well, here we are. Another Fall. Another starting over. Whether it’s school, work, or perspective, we (Hannah and Cecilia) find that as the seasons change, so do we. It’s supposed to be that way, right? Nothing stays the same. Yet, as we change, we also preserve the multitudes of who we’ve been in the past. It’s quite the collection. So many years, so many selves. Writer Anne Lamotte says, “We contain all the ages we have ever been.” We are like living nesting dolls. Each doll holding a piece of our personal and collective histories. But the dolls aren’t fixed. They grow too. Each doll, dwelling within, changes as we evolve. We are not static. We are complex. And getting more so each day. This week’s podcast offers a reflection on change and growth. Join us, as Hannah and Cecilia talk about ways that we are, in body, mind, and spirit, becoming more and more complex.

We couldn’t get enough. We wanted to learn more about elderhood from our podcast guest Dr. Tracey Gendron, so we asked her back for part II. Dr. Gendron, author of Ageism Unmasked and Chair of the Gerontology Department at Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond is back this week to take a deep dive into two relevant social constructs: caregiving and retirement. We talk about the history of caregiving, giving and getting it, and discuss how to give care more value and importance. We tackle the concept of retirement. Is it a stage of life? Or just a withdrawal from a job? The more we talk, the more we understand how elderhood, in order to be unburdened with ageism, takes contemplation, work and a lot of imagination. Thank you Dr. Gendron for leading the way.

Here’s a twist for you. We are getting tired of promoting “successful aging” and no longer want to buy into the social construct that defines aging and being old as a problem to avoid. We don’t know about you, but we are getting old… and loving it. But not because we are staying young, or not facing losses. We love it not despite of the challenges, but because of them. We love it because we are growing and changing. We love it because there is an opportunity to create yet another purposeful stage of life. And that’s what twisting the plot is all about. On this week’s podcast we talk with Dr. Tracey Gendron. Dr. Gendron is the Chair of the department of Gerontology at Virginia Commonwealth University and the author of Ageism Unmasked: Exploring Age Bias and How to End It. She expounds the many reasons why ageism matters to all of us. She shares how the “biomedicalization” of aging has turned it into a disease, and something we need to fight. But what if we could conceptualize aging in a different way? What if aging, and even death, were embraced as a shared experience, instead of an individual failing? What if becoming old, was a transcendent experience that we all look forward to? Hard to imagine? Before you dismiss it, listen as Dr. Gendron proposes Elderhood as the antidote to the ageist roadblocks to becoming: Anti-ageism through elderhood shifts our focus from who we were to who we are in the present and who we want to become in the future. Regardless of physical ability, cognitive function, socioeconomic class, level of dependency, or a myriad of personal identifiers, we are all still becoming. Elderhood is proposed as a stage in life that brings maturity, purpose and wisdom. Gerontologist Lars Tornstom even suggests that aging can bring a developmental shift in perspective that is more cosmic and transcendent. We want some of that. Dr. Gendron asks us, “How do you feel about yourselves as aging beings? Thankfully, she is helping us figure this out.

It often feels like time is a conveyer belt, ushering us forward year after year. It moves faster and faster, sometimes at a pace that makes it hard to glance back and savor what’s been. Sometimes a lifetime moves too quickly for us to be intentional about where we are going. We just keep moving. On this week’s Twisting the Plot Podcast, Hannah and Cecilia take a pause and consider time from a different direction, vertically instead of horizontally. In this way, time becomes more than a runaway train. Time, and our lives, can be a multi-layered, generational weave of the past, present and future. Twisting time gives life texture. We hope you take a listen and share your thoughts with us.

Abbe Greenberg and Maggie Sarachek have been friends since college. Throughout this time, they shared many things, even anxiety. For years they supported each other, through phobias, panic attacks and catastrophizing mindsets. As time went on, it became clear that they weren’t alone. In fact, they found that many women wanted to talk about anxiety, its perils, nuances, and the many ways to cope. So they decided to start a sisterhood, an anxiety sisterhood. In 2017 they launched their online community which now includes more than 200,000 people worldwide. Together, Abbe and Maggie (or Abs and Mags) host a monthly podcast (The Spin Cycle) facilitate workshops and retreats and give talks about everything related to anxiety. Their blog is award winning and they recently they published The Anxiety Sisters’ Survival Guide. The book is filled with helpful information, we highly recommend it. We loved this conversation with Abs and Mags. Somehow, they make anxiety fun, while also taking it very seriously. They speak about complex scientific findings using language that is accessible, not triggering or pathologizing. They even offer some helpful tips and advice for all. Let’s face it, anxiety is a plot twist all its own. It takes a sisterhood to get us through. Join us. Check out anxietysisters.com Join the Anxiety Sisters on Facebook

In 1988 Laura Davis coauthored The Courage to Heal, a global phenomenon. It is the go-to, permission giving, truth telling, and healing guide for victims of sexual abuse. Her most recent book, The Burning Light of Two stars: A Mother Daughter Story is a prequel and a sequel to The Courage to Heal. It chronicles the estrangement, reconciliation and care-giving relationship between Laura and her mother. And it is about so much more. The Burning Light of Two Stars is plot twist after plot twist, as Laura and her mother evolve, change, stay the same, and rediscover each other over and over. It’s a story of forgiveness, accountability, letting go and holding on. We couldn’t put it down. Laura Davis is a deep thinking, soul touching writer and person. She chronicles the ongoingness of life beyond trauma. Her understanding and wonderment about herself and others touched and inspired us. Please Listen. “The price I paid to keep my mother out, at first with withdrawal, later with an armed fortress, and finally, with the polite rules of détente, was love. The pure, unfettered love I longed for. The pure, unfettered love she craved.” For TTP Listeners from Laura Davis: You can also read the opening 5 chapters here Direct links to buy The Burning Light of Two Stars: Buy The Burning Light of Two Stars on Amazon Buy The Burning Light of Two Stars from Elliott Bay Books Get a signed copy of The Burning Light of Two Stars from Bookshop Santa Cruz Buy The Burning Light of Two Stars from Bookshop.org Audiobook version of The Burning Light of Two Stars (Laura is the narrator): Buy the audiobook of The Burning Light of Two Stars on Audible Buy The Burning Light of Two Stars audiobook on Libro.fm Want to Order Internationally with Free Worldwide Delivery? Buy The Burning Light of Two Stars from book depository.com If you’re a writer or want to use writing as a tool for healing or self-discovery, you can learn about Laura’s online writing workshops and in-person domestic and international retreats at www.lauradavis.net Social media links: thewritersjourney on Facebook @laurasaridavis on Instagram Twitter (which I don’t use so much) @laurasaridavis @laurasaridavis on Pinterest

Consider the Hag. Will You? Most of us cringe at the mention of her. We would just as soon keep her banished to the deep woods. Who can blame us? She is rot, she is ugly, she does not follow our rules. She has one foot on the other side; death. The Hag embodies suffering, a weathering by life; she stands for oldness. She is not who we want to become. But…Marianne Franzese sees things differently. She challenges us to re-consider. Marianne suggests that we could go deep into the woods of our own being to find the cast-off hag. Perhaps, says Marianne, our hag offers strength and power. She could be a container for our outrage, the keeper of the fires of social justice. She could be our biggest liberation. Marianne says that culturally the Hag has been feared by the patriarchy and therefore demonized, degraded, and diminished to the one-dimensional. According to Marianne, the Hag is as individual as each of us. She just needs to be reimagined and reclaimed. It’s a big plot twist. But given the overturning of Roe vs Wade and the impingement on the rights of LGBTQ+ and all marginalized groups, we may need a big twist. Marianne asks us to consider “a very personal call to break out the extreme push for older women to maintain a certain level of beauty, grace and quietness.” Perhaps some of us are called to something different. Listen to this podcast as Marianne discusses her reasons and plans to bring the Hag out of the woods and into our psyches as older women. Reach out to Marianne at mfranzese333@gmail.com if you want to learn more about her Hag Project.