Don't Cut Your Own Bangs

Life keeps lifeing—and sometimes you need a reminder that pauses don't mean you're failing, and hard seasons don't get to decide your worth. This week I'm sharing one of my favorite conversations with Ashlyn Thompson, co-founder of Parent Empowerment Network. Ashlyn is one of those rare humans who can hold heavy things without making them heavier—and somehow still make you laugh, breathe deeper, and feel less alone. We talk about: Why asking "why me?" keeps you stuck (and what to ask instead) The expansion and contraction of life—and why rest isn't something you have to earn Why the opposite of anxiety isn't calm... it's creativity How to stop shrinking your world when life feels overwhelming The difference between being victimized and victim mentality Why your emotions deserve space before your logic gets a turn If you're in a season where you're just trying to keep your head above water, this one's for you. And if you needed permission to breathe, consider it granted. Resources mentioned: The Treasured Journal: Treasured: Self Discovery Journal for Women - Guided Journal Mental Health Wrestling a Walrus (Children's Book): Wrestling a Walrus | Emotional Regulation Book for Big Feelings Parent Empowerment Network: https://parentempowermentnetwork.org/ Ashlyn's Original Interview: Pain Is a Professor Coming soon: Ashlyn and I are doing a pod swap! If you have a question you want us to answer together—about navigating hard seasons, building hope, parenting through the messy middle, burnout, or big feelings—email me at danielle@danielleireland.com. - subject line BANGS KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE "Pain is not personal. Your story is personal, but pain is not personal." "Doubt doesn't mean you're done. Taking a pause doesn't mean you're stopping forever. You can't just exhale forever—you eventually have to breathe in." "The opposite of anxiety is not calm. It's creativity." "If you ask yourself 'why does this feel painful?'—consider pain as a potential teacher, as a professor, rather than pain as an enemy or destroyer." "Your emotions never lie to you. Logic is not loud—our emotions are loud, and they get louder the more we push them back." "Every emotion your child experiences is not a direct reflection of who you are as a parent." REFLECTION QUESTIONS Take these with you this week: What's one "why" question you keep circling that isn't giving you anything back? What would happen if you swapped it for a "how" or "what" question instead? Where are you asking yourself to "expand" right now when you actually need to "inhale"? What's one tiny creative action you could take this week that would help your body feel like it has somewhere to put the feeling? CONNECT WITH DANIELLE Listen on Spotify: Don't Cut Your Own Bangs Listen on Apple Podcasts: Don't Cut Your Own Bangs Website: Indianapolis Mental Health Educator, Speaker & Therapist for Women Wrestling a Walrus (Children's Book): Wrestling a Walrus | Emotional Regulation Book for Big Feelings The Treasured Journal: Treasured: Self Discovery Journal - Guided Journal Mental Health Substack: Danielle's Substack | Danielle Ireland | Substack Instagram: Danielle Ireland | Therapist (@dontcutyourownbangs) • Instagram profile TikTok: DontCutYourOwnBangs on TikTok ABOUT THE SHOW Don't Cut Your Own Bangs is a cozy corner of the internet for high-functioning humans with big feelings — the capable ones who get things done but quietly wonder if something's missing. If you're the unicorn in a power suit (or a perfectly neutral sweater), building a life that looks "right" on paper but still craving something freer and more alive — you're in the right place. Hosted by therapist and author Danielle Ireland, this show feels like sitting on the couch with your best friend — if your best friend happened to be a therapist. Together, we untangle burnout, anxiety, pressure, and comparison, and learn how to turn emotions into allies instead of obstacles. This is...

What happens when sobriety stops being your whole identity—but honesty still matters? In this episode, I sit down with journalist, creator, and host Cat Greenleaf for a wide-ranging conversation about sobriety without performative seriousness, the exhaustion of high-functioning addiction, and the courage it takes to walk away from something—even when you're good at it. Cat is the creator and former host of Talk Stoop, a groundbreaking celebrity interview show that paved the way for digital content before platforms like TikTok even existed. Now she hosts the Soberness podcast, where she brings her signature warmth and realness to conversations about recovery with celebrities and public figures navigating sobriety in the spotlight. We talk about shame, ambition, therapy skepticism, creative identity, aging, and why "go where the water's warm"—a piece of advice from Brooke Shields that Cat received 16 years ago—might be the most trustworthy life guidance there is. If you've ever looked successful on the outside while quietly unraveling on the inside, or if you've felt that nudge that something in your life is done, this episode is for you. In This Episode: What high-functioning addiction actually looks like and how Cat knew it wouldn't go well from the start Why she spent 10 years sober without attending AA meetings The moment at a wedding that changed everything "I hate therapy" (and why that's perfectly okay) Why Cat is shifting her Soberness podcast from recorded interviews to live storytelling events The "be kind" tattoo story—and why she's having it removed How to know when it's time to walk away from something that's no longer working People's commitment to their own joy (and what that means for the rest of us) Guest: Cat Greenleaf is a journalist, creator, and host of the Soberness podcast. She's the creator of Talk Stoop, where she interviewed celebrities on her Brooklyn stoop before digital content became what we know it as today. She's currently pursuing her master's in forensic mental health counseling and has been working with incarcerated individuals for the past two years. Cat has been sober for 12 years. Connect with Cat: The Soberness Podcast: Soberness Podcast | Celebrity Interviews with Cat Greenleaf on Recovery and Sobriety Instagram: Soberness (@sobernesspodcast) • Instagram profile YouTube: Soberness Podcast with Cat Greenleaf Resources Mentioned: Talk Stoop (Cat's groundbreaking celebrity interview show) Brooke Shields' advice: "Go where the water's warm" The Algonquin Hotel (Cat's base for live Soberness events in NYC) Subscribe to Don't Cut Your Own Bangs: New episodes drop regularly with interviews, solo casts, and all the hope you need to keep going. Connect with Danielle: Website: Indianapolis Mental Health Educator, Speaker & Therapist for Women Instagram: Danielle Ireland | Therapist (@dontcutyourownbangs) • Instagram profile The Treasured Journal: Treasured: Self Discovery Journal for Women - Guided Journal Mental Health Wrestling a Walrus (Children's Book): Wrestling a Walrus | Emotional Regulation Book for Big Feelings Don't Cut Your Own Bangs is a cozy corner of the internet for high-functioning humans with big feelings — the capable ones who get things done but quietly wonder if something's missing. If you're the unicorn in a power suit (or a perfectly neutral sweater), building a life that looks "right" on paper but still craving something freer and more alive — you're in the right place. Hosted by therapist and author Danielle Ireland, this show feels like sitting on the couch with your best friend — if your best friend happened to be a therapist. Together, we untangle burnout, anxiety, pressure, and comparison, and learn how to turn emotions into allies instead of obstacles. This is a space for comfort, community, clarity — and a few laughs along the way. Because you deserve calm without having to earn it.

If you've been feeling like you need someone to flip on a light switch in a dark room right about now, this episode is for you. And listen, I get it—February can be rough. All that January enthusiasm starts to fade, the Midwest winter is doing its thing (where did the sun go?), and suddenly that phone in your hand feels less like a tool and more like a stain you can't get out of your clothes (or out of your hand). So today, I'm offering what we all need: a little bit of hope. This is a cozy solo cast that's a deep dive into what I'm learning in real-time about habits and what they reinforce. The truth: I've been doom-scrolling between client sessions like it's my job, and my nervous system has some thoughts about that. We're talking about: Plus, I'm giving you a sneak peek at two incredible interviews coming up this month with Cat Greenleaf (host of the Soberness podcast) and the one and only Ashlyn Thompson from the Parent Empowerment Network. If you need someone who makes heavy topics feel like a warm hug, Ashlyn is your person. She's basically the Ted Lasso of emotional work. KEY TAKEAWAYS "The things you repeat are what you reinforce." —James Clear, Atomic Habits This quote is the backbone of the episode. What are you repeating? Is it serving you? If not, what's one small shift you can make? You can't function for the responsibilities of your life if your nervous system is constantly firing. If you're feeling less Cinderella-with-birds-making-your-bed and more like you need to hide under the covers, it might be time to look at what you're consuming. Boundaries aren't just for other people—they're for what you let into your own mind and body. This is the work. What's yours to own? What's not? Getting clear on that changes everything. QUOTES THAT HIT "When you turn on a light in a dark space, the darkness isn't gone. But the darkness can't deny the light." "I wasn't clear on what I was actually responsible for. If I was responsible for their breakthroughs, then was I also responsible for what they didn't understand?" "Happiness can also look like having a lollipop for breakfast, lunch, and dinner—and then that creates a whole other issue." COMING UP THIS MONTH Cat Greenleaf from the Soberness podcast—talking celebrity sobriety, digital content, and constantly evolving Ashlyn Thompson from the Parent Empowerment Network—bringing the heart-centered wisdom with humor and warmth YOUR HOMEWORK (IF YOU WANT IT) Grab a journal, go for a walk, or just sit with these questions: And if you need a place to process all of this? The Treasured Journal was made for exactly these moments. It's got prompts, sentence stems, and space for you to dig a little deeper with a little more safety and context. Link's in the show notes. THINGS THAT WILL MAKE MY WHOLE WEEK Rate and review the podcast wherever you're listening—it helps more people find this cozy corner of the internet Subscribe so you never miss an episode (we've got some good ones coming up!) Share this episode with someone who needs a little bit of hope right now Your time and attention mean everything to me. Thank you for being here. Now go have an incredible day. You've got this. —Danielle RESOURCES MENTIONED Atomic Habits by James Clear Wrestling a Walrus for Little People with Big Feelings (my children's book!) The Treasured Journal (for all your processing needs) CONNECT WITH DANIELLE (links) Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0VFZulonTvaa2HIPyJa4Tq?si=JyAzazfISPWyg6I11hAylg Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-cut-your-own-bangs/id1427579922 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs Website: https://danielleireland.com/ Children's Book: https://danielleireland.com/wrestling-a-walrus The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dontcutyourownbangs/ Facebook:...

If you're a capable, driven woman who's doing everything "right" — and still feeling exhausted, stuck, or quietly blaming your body — this episode is for you. In this deeply meaningful conversation, I sit down with Dr. Erica Bove, double board certified physician, fertility specialist, and founder of Love & Science Fertility, to talk about what happens when high-achieving women bring the same hustle-and-push mindset into their bodies… and why fertility, healing, and clarity ask for something different. We explore how self-compassion, nervous system regulation, and trust aren't "soft skills" — they're foundational tools for healing, decision-making, and moving forward with more ease and confidence. This episode blends science, lived experience, and real talk — with humor, honesty, and a few moments that might make you pause and say, oh… that's me. In this episode, we cover: Why trying harder often backfires in fertility and healing How hypervigilance and chronic stress impact the body What it actually means to trust your body again The difference between the inner critic and the inner coach Why creativity can calm anxiety faster than "trying to relax" Dr. Erica's powerful Don't Cut Your Own Bangs moment Key takeaways: Healing responds to safety, not pressure Your thoughts and feelings are data, not flaws Self-compassion improves clarity and follow-through You're not broken — your body is communicating with you Quotes from the episode: "Trying harder doesn't work in fertility — safety does." "Your thoughts and feelings are data." "The inner coach is so much better than the inner critic." Resources mentioned: The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Dr. Kristin Neff Stand With Minnesota: https://www.standwithminnesota.com Links & Resources Connect with Dr. Erica Bove https://www.loveandsciencefertility.com/ https://www.loveandsciencefertility.com/thepodcast https://www.loveandsciencefertility.com/starting-to-thrive-course https://www.instagram.com/loveandsciencefertility Connect with Danielle Podcast (Spotify): https://open.spotify.com/show/0VFZulonTvaa2HIPyJa4Tq Podcast (Apple): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-cut-your-own-bangs/id1427579922 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs Website: https://danielleireland.com/ Children's Book: https://danielleireland.com/wrestling-a-walrus The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dontcutyourownbangs/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dontcutyourownbangspod

Hello friends—welcome back to Don't Cut Your Own Bangs, the cozy corner of the internet where we let our tender, imperfect selves exist. This week we're talking about sustainable self-care—not the kind that turns into a color-coded assignment, but the kind that actually supports you in real life. I'm sharing two simple processes you can use anytime (even if you're burnt out, busy, or running on the last 3% of your battery). Plus: a few examples to help you rethink what "self-care" can look like when it's truly working. In this episode, we explore: What makes self-care sustainable (and why "a list of habits" often backfires) A quick "ideal day" exercise that helps you tune into what you actually need A simple somatic body-scan practice (hello, nervous system support) How to tell if a self-care practice is helping: before / during / after Real-life examples—from travel planning to solitude to tap dancing Key takeaways Self-care is only self-care if it's working—and "working" can change by season. Sustainable self-care is a process, not a perfection plan. Your body gives honest feedback—sometimes before your brain catches up. A couple of great lines from the episode "There's a difference between what I knew… and what I was actually embodying." "We deserve calm without having to earn it." Quick encouragement If self-care has felt like one more thing to do "correctly," let this be your reminder: you don't need a perfect routine. You need a kinder relationship with your needs. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe—it helps this cozy little corner grow and find the people who need it. Episode Links: Podcast (Spotify): https://open.spotify.com/show/0VFZulonTvaa2HIPyJa4Tq?si=JyAzazfISPWyg6I11hAylg Podcast (Apple): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-cut-your-own-bangs/id1427579922 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs Website: https://danielleireland.com/ Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dontcutyourownbangs/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dontcutyourownbangspod?_t=ZP-8yFHmVNPKtq&_r=1 Children's Book: https://danielleireland.com/wrestling-a-walrus The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal

Hello hello — I'm Danielle Ireland, and you're catching an episode of Don't Cut Your Own Bangs, the cozy corner of the internet where we answer the timeless question: Do I really want bangs… or do I just need to talk about my feelings? (Spoiler: it's often the feelings. And also sometimes bangs. We can be multidimensional.) In today's episode, we're talking about planting good seeds — not the aggressive "new year, new you, fix your entire personality by Tuesday" energy, but the soft, intentional, nervous-system-friendly kind of reset. Because if January were in charge of its own PR? It would be branded as recovery + reflection + gentle reorientation, not a monthly audition for your worthiness. We use a seed metaphor (because nature gets it), talk about rest as a generative space, and explore why the opposite of anxiety isn't necessarily calm… it might actually be creativity. I also share a very humbling moment at acupuncture where my body had a lot to say and I hadn't been listening. In this episode, we talk about: Why the beginning of the year is a great time to set intentions, not punish yourself with "perfect" Rest as resistance (and why your body is not a machine) The surprising idea: the opposite of anxiety is creativity Micro-rest: how to make space for yourself even in a busy life The 4 questions that can reveal where you've lost your spark: When did you stop dancing? When did you stop singing? When did you stop feeling enchanted by stories? When did you stop sitting in stillness? How breadcrumbs (like a screenshot of a dance class) can lead you back to yourself A gentle reminder: you are the expert in you — advice is useful, but you're not required to outsource your inner knowing A couple quotes from the episode: "Plant the seed… and then leave it alone. Give it the space and grace it needs to thrive." "Rest is a generative space. There is information for your healing in the dream space." "The opposite of anxiety is not calm — it's creativity." "Knowing something and doing something are not the same." (…my acupuncture appointment would like to cosign this.) Gentle invitation for the week: Pick one small "good seed" to plant — a tiny act of rest, wonder, play, or creativity — and let it be enough. Links + Resources Mentioned: The Nap Ministry: https://thenapministry.wordpress.com/ Martha Beck: https://marthabeck.com YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs Website: https://danielleireland.com/ Children's Book: https://danielleireland.com/wrestling-a-walrus The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dontcutyourownbangs/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dontcutyourownbangspod?_t=ZP-8yFHmVNPKtq&_r=1 Want to talk to me directly? Email me at danielle@danielleireland.com and put "bangs" in the subject line — questions, stories, topics you want on the pod… I'm in. And yes, I really will respond. Free Gift: Grab my free meditation here: https://danielleireland.com/free Quick favor (it helps more than you know): If this episode felt like a deep exhale, please rate, review, and subscribe — and send it to the friend who's been treating January like a final exam. 💛

Reimagining January: Reflection, Creativity, and the Messy Middle Happy New Year — and welcome to the very first episode of Don't Cut Your Own Bangs in 2026. If you're feeling a little tender, tired, hopeful, unsure, or all of the above… you're in exactly the right place. This episode is not about reinvention. It's about reflection and reimagining. In this solo conversation, I'm sharing why I believe the beginning of a new year isn't meant for pressure, perfection, or becoming a brand-new person overnight. Instead, it's a powerful opportunity to pause, look back with honesty, and gently reimagine what you want more of — and less of — as the year unfolds. I reflect on the journey of this podcast, the role creativity has played in my life (from ballroom dance to therapy to children's books), and why making things for joy — not productivity — has been one of the most grounding decisions I've ever made. We also talk about: vulnerability and creativity anxiety and burnout why "do I need bangs or do I need to talk about my feelings?" is actually a very real question and how slowing down can literally change your experience of time (hello, Andromeda Paradox ✨) This episode is an invitation — to breathe, to soften, to stop attacking your goals, and instead commit to what matters. No resolutions required. Key Takeaways Why January is better for reflection than reinvention How creativity can calm anxiety and clarify decision-making The real meaning behind "Don't Cut Your Own Bangs" Why we're not as alone as we think (and why that matters) How slowing down can change your experience of time and overwhelm Quotes to Remember "You don't need to start from scratch. You're allowed to carry yourself forward." "If it isn't joy, it isn't right." "We are not unique in the things we fear — and thank God for that." A Note Before You Go If this episode made you feel a little more grounded, a little less alone, or helped you exhale — please rate, review, and subscribe. It's how this podcast continues to grow and reach people who need it. And if a friend popped into your mind while listening, share it with them. The best things in life are shared. You can email me questions for the podcast at danielle@danielleireland.com - subject line (Bangs).

Today's episode is the final part of our Best Lessons of the Year series, and it's dedicated to the part of you that's exhausted trying to figure it all out… because some seasons don't come with clean answers (rude). In this episode, we talk about surrendering the outcome—not in a giving up kind of way, but in a coming back to life as it is kind of way. You'll hear a powerful perspective from Dr. Tasha Faruqui on living in the gray when even science doesn't have the answers. And then I'll walk you through practical "anchors for your energy"—small, doable supports you can return to when you're depleted, overwhelmed, or stuck living for "after." If you've been telling yourself, "Once things calm down, then I'll breathe," this is your gentle reminder: you don't have to wait for life to be fully resolved to feel a moment of peace. In this episode, we talk about: Why "after" can drive survival-mode What it means to surrender control without surrendering hope How uncertainty can drain your energy (and how to reclaim it) Choosing joy intentionally (without forcing toxic positivity) Anchors for your energy: small practices that stabilize you during turbulence Quotes to remember: "Some seasons don't come with clean answers." "Surrendering the outcome doesn't mean surrendering your hope." "Joy often doesn't arrive… it's something we pursue." "Burnout isn't a symptom of failure. It's a symptom of fatigue." Key takeaways: Surrender = reclaiming energy you were spending trying to control what you can't. Joy can be a practice, not a mood you wait for. Anchors create stability in turbulence—pick one kind thing and return to it. A "one-degree shift" today can change how you land later. Your gentle invitation for the week: Pick one anchor: a walk outside, a one-minute pause, water before coffee, a phone boundary, or one brave little no. Try it. Keep it kind. Let it count. Full episodes from today's clips: https://youtu.be/EvzEljacc08 https://youtu.be/L-TvYBPKAso Mentioned: Sarah's Substack (recipes + joy + your new secret ingredient): https://substack.com/@activepalate?r=1sx5ib&utm_medium=ios Free meditation gift from Danielle: https://danielleireland.com/free RATE • REVIEW • SUBSCRIBE Like your favorite recipe or song, the best things in life are shared. When you rate, review, and subscribe, you help more people find this community—and it also helps me keep making the show better (for real). Thank you for being here. Connect with Danielle: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs Website: https://danielleireland.com Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dontcutyourownbangs Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dontcutyourownbangspod

If you've ever ended the day completely wiped out and thought, "Why am I this tired? I didn't even do anything that big…" — hi. Same. And this episode is for you. In Week 4 of our Best Lessons of the Year countdown, we're revisiting two of my favorite conversations because they speak to a very real modern experience: carrying a thousand invisible things… and then wondering why your nervous system feels like it's running a marathon in jeans. First, we dip back into my Solo Cast on the invisible mental load — that constant background hum of remembering, planning, worrying, organizing, anticipating, and basically being the "tabs open in your brain" person. Then, we revisit my conversation with Jordan Arogeti (co-founder of Support Now) to talk about Support Languages — a framework that helps us understand how we give support, how we receive it, how to read the room, and how to repair when we didn't show up the way we wish we had. So if you're listening while wrapping gifts, doing dishes, working out, or hiding in the car for five minutes of peace… welcome. You're in the right place. In this episode, you'll hear: Why the invisible mental load is exhausting even when your calendar "doesn't look that full" A tiny practice that helps an anxious brain actually tolerate stillness (yes, even for one minute) How your body often says "no" before your mouth does What Support Languages are (and why support isn't one-size-fits-all) The lost art of reading the room (and remembering you're not the main character in every chapter 😅) Why repair matters more than perfection when it comes to care and connection A few key takeaways: Your emotions aren't a character flaw — they're information One-minute pauses can be a one-degree shift that changes everything over time The goal isn't "perfect support" — it's real support You're allowed to need help, ask for help, and receive help without earning it Quotes you'll want to save: "You're not exhausted because you're weak. You're exhausted because you've been carrying a lot — often silently." "Tiny, imperfect support still counts. And you're allowed to receive it, too." "Your emotions are information — not proof you're failing." Full episode links: https://youtu.be/K7q_5wxH7J0 https://youtu.be/qaWGCw1RE9E A little extra support (because you deserve it): FREE guided meditation gift: https://danielleireland.com/free Bring more joy + ease into your kitchen with Sarah Kleinknecht: Sarah's Substack (includes a free 30-minute consultation with an annual subscription): https://sarahkleinknecht.substack.com Connect with Danielle (and join the community): Website: https://danielleireland.com Podcast hub: https://danielleireland.com/podcast The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dontcutyourownbangs/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dontcutyourownbangspod Rate, Review, Subscribe Like your favorite recipe or song, the best things in life are shared. If this episode soothed something in you, made you feel seen, or made you go "OH… that's what's happening," please rate, review, and subscribe. It truly helps grow our community and connects these conversations with people who need them — people just like you. 💛

Hello, hello! In this week's "Best Lessons of the Year" recap, we're diving into two surprisingly connected themes: How easy it is to lose ourselves in conflictHow possible it is to find ourselves in nature We start with a clip from my solo cast, Winning Isn't Everything, where I break down what really happens when our nervous system floods and suddenly our partner becomes… the enemy. (Yes, even if 10 minutes ago they were our favorite person.) Then we shift into wide-open wonder with adventurer and wildlife guide Eli Martinez, who reminds us that reconnecting with the natural world isn't just "nice" — it's an actual portal back to intuition, presence, and our truest selves. Some quote that stand out "Stepping out of win-lose dynamics isn't weakness. It's wisdom." "When we stop fighting for control, we start listening — and that's when we find our way back to ourselves." "Wonder cracks us open in ways certainty never can." Key Takeaways Winning in conflict often means both people lose. We aren't built for battles in our closest relationships. Curiosity is a superpower — in conversation, in conflict, in connection. Nature resets the nervous system. Watching a sunset can be more therapeutic than a dozen self-help books. Adventure and intimacy feel the same in the body. Fear + excitement + vulnerability = transformation. The real lesson? Learning to trust yourself is a practice, not a one-time achievement. Full Episodes Featured Exploring the Wild with Eli Martinez https://youtu.be/nLyXdWeEKI4 Winning Isn't Everything https://youtu.be/VHc_kt3yQ3U Rate, Review & Subscribe If this episode sparked something in you — a whisper, a nudge, a little "Oof… that's for me" — please rate, review, and subscribe. It helps the show grow and helps conversations like this reach people who need them. Connect with Danielle Podcast: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0VFZulonTvaa2HIPyJa4Tq Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-cut-your-own-bangs/id1427579922 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs Community: Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dontcutyourownbangs/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dontcutyourownbangspod Books & Journals: Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal Wrestling a Walrus (Children's Book): https://danielleireland.com/wrestling-a-walrus Website: https://danielleireland.com/

Welcome back to The Don't Cut Your Own Bangs Countdown: Best Lessons of the Year — your cozy December rewind of the conversations that cracked me open, cracked me up, or came back to whisper, "Hey… you needed to hear that again." This week we're celebrating two big themes we ALL lived through this year: 1. Learning in real time (aka: The Messy Middle) 2. The courage to say a brave, wholehearted "No" You'll hear moments from my solo cast on "Tech Sweats" (yes, the kind where you curse at software and question your entire identity), plus one of my favorite conversations of the year with CityMom founder Janine Bobmeyer. Her story of burnout, truth-telling, and redefining success is one of those episodes you feel in your chest. A few moments you'll hear: • "Learning is rarely graceful. It's… sweaty." • "A 'no' spoken from truth is always a 'yes' to something better." • "Being in the middle of a mess doesn't mean you're doing it wrong — it just means you're in the middle." If you want the full episodes these clips came from, you can watch them here: • Full Jeanine Interview • Full Solo Cast: What It Feels Like to Learn in Real Time Please rate, subscribe, and leave a comment — it truly helps grow our community and connects these conversations with people like you :) Connect with The CityMoms: https://thecitymoms.org/ Connect with Danielle Podcast on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0VFZulonTvaa2HIPyJa4Tq Podcast on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-cut-your-own-bangs/id1427579922 Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs Community: Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielleireland_lcsw Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dontcutyourownbangspod For purchase: The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal Wrestling a Walrus (Children's Book): https://danielleireland.com/wrestling-a-walrus Free Gift for You: https://danielleireland.com/free

Welcome to The Don't Cut Your Own Bangs Countdown: Best Lessons of the Year — a special December series celebrating the moments, conversations, and insights that stayed with us long after the episodes ended. This week's theme: Frustration… and Magic. We're kicking things off with highlights from my solocast What Is Your Frustration Telling You? — an episode where we explored frustration not as a problem, but as information. As a whisper. As guidance disguised as discomfort. A favorite moment from the solocast: "Your emotions aren't roadblocks. They're signposts pointing to what matters most." Then we shift into an unforgettable conversation with coach, speaker, and magician John Kippen, pulling some of the most moving and resonant moments from his story of resilience and healing. ✨ A favorite quote from John's interview: "Magic didn't just save my life — it gave me a reason to keep choosing it." This curated "Best Of" isn't linear — think of it like flipping through a scrapbook of the most meaningful moments from the year. If a clip resonates, you can always listen to the full episodes below. Watch or listen to the full episodes anytime: ✨ What Is Your Frustration Telling You? (full solocast) Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-cut-your-own-bangs/id1427579922 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs ✨ John Kippen Interview – Magic Saved My Life Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-cut-your-own-bangs/id1427579922 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs Please rate, subscribe, and leave a comment — it truly helps the grow our community and connects these conversations with people like you:) Learn More About Today's Featured Guest: John Kippen Website: https://www.johnkippen.com Watch John's TED Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/john_kippen_magic_saved_my_life Connect with Danielle For the show: Podcast on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0VFZulonTvaa2HIPyJa4Tq Podcast on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-cut-your-own-bangs/id1427579922 Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs For community: Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielleireland_lcsw Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dontcutyourownbangspod For purchase: The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal Wrestling a Walrus (Children's Book): https://danielleireland.com/wrestling-a-walrus For FREE! https://danielleireland.com/free

Welcome back to Don't Cut Your Own Bangs — the podcast that makes big feelings feel less scary and approaching them feel possible. Today I'm joined by someone who embodies ease and joy and wants to help you do the same - La Shell Wooten, and this conversation is one you're going to feel in the best way. We dive into the messy middle — that "What the hell am I doing?" space we all land in sometimes — and explore how to stop ditching yourself when life gets overwhelming. Instead, we talk about how your emotions can become your emotional GPS system guiding you forward — toward ease, possibility, and joy that doesn't require heroic effort or a personality makeover. What we explore: Why the messy middle is unavoidable (and often surprisingly useful) The difference between self-abandonment and self-trust Seeing emotions as information, not something to fear How to find "the next right thing" without forcing it The power of choosing joy — even when life is uncertain Favorite moments & quotes: "Your emotions aren't obstacles — they're messengers." "You don't have to overhaul your life to invite joy in." "Sometimes clarity whispers before it ever shouts." This episode is warm, funny, and deeply grounding — the perfect companion for your walk, your car ride, or your "I need a moment" moment. 💛 If this episode resonated, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your support helps this community grow — and it truly means the world. Connect with La Shell Wooten https://liinks.co/lashell.wooten Connect with Danielle: Podcast on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/0VFZulonTvaa2HIPyJa4Tq?si=JyAzazfISPWyg6I11hAylg Podcast on Apple https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-cut-your-own-bangs/id1427579922 Watch on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal Wrestling a Walrus: https://danielleireland.com/wrestling-a-walrus Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielleireland_lcsw Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dontcutyourownbangspod

This week on Don't Cut Your Own Bangs, I welcome back one of the most impactful guests in the show's history — Marianne Talkovski, emotional wellbeing strategist, acupuncturist, Chinese medicine practitioner, author, coach, and the creator of The Wellbeing Code. Marianne has been one of the most trusted practitioners in my personal healing journey, and in this conversation she breaks down the deep connection between our emotions, our physical body, and how burnout and anxiety take root when we ignore what we feel. Through her lens of Chinese medicine, emotional intelligence, and nervous-system regulation, Marianne helps us understand: 💛 Key Takeaways Why regulating your nervous system is the first step to healing burnout How emotional suppression shows up in the body as symptoms, stagnation, and stress What the five Chinese elements reveal about your personality type and emotional patterns How to know the difference between striving from fear vs striving from wisdom Why travel, adventure, and stepping outside your "operating life" can spark profound clarity The four-part Wellbeing Code: Regulate, Rewire, Resync, Radiate Why belonging to yourself is the foundation for belonging anywhere else One of my favorite quotes from the episode: "You can't outthink your emotions. Regulation has to happen before transformation." Whether you're recovering from burnout, craving emotional clarity, or learning how to trust yourself again — this episode will gently guide you back home. Connect with Marianne Talkovski Website: https://mariannewellbeing.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marianne_talkovski Marianne's Books: https://mariannewellbeing.com/books Connect with Danielle YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs Website: https://danielleireland.com The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielleireland_lcsw Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-cut-your-own-bangs/id1372599664 Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2b7Ybj9RbM3c3Lh56N3D2G If this episode resonated… Please rate, review, and subscribe — it helps the show reach more people who need this work. And as always, thank you for being here. You belong here.

Welcome back to Don't Cut Your Own Bangs — the podcast that makes big feelings feel less scary and approaching them feel possible. In this week's episode, I sit down with Jessica Fein, author, storyteller, and self-described reluctant grief expert. Jessica's story is both heartbreaking and life-affirming. After losing her two sisters and her teenage daughter, Dalia, she discovered that the greatest act of love we can offer is to say the name and share the story. Together, we explore how grief transforms us, how to stay connected to the people we've lost, and how storytelling can bring light to even the darkest seasons of life. This episode is an invitation to soften your heart toward your own pain and let love — not fear — lead the way. Key Takeaways Saying their name is sacred. It honors both memory and love. Grief and joy can coexist. Healing isn't about "getting over it" — it's about learning to live alongside it. Creativity helps us find joy again. Making something — a story, a meal, a moment — reconnects us to life. Connection begins with honesty. You don't have to fix someone's pain to be present for it. Mentioned in This Episode 📖 Breathtaking: A Memoir of Family, Dreams, and Broken Genes → https://jessicafeinwrites.com/breathtaking 🎙 I Don't Know How You Do It → https://jessicafeinwrites.com/podcast ✍️ The Writer Salon → https://writers-salon.mn.co/ 💌 Jessica's Survival Kit → https://jessicafeinwrites.com/resources 📘 The Treasured Journal: danielleireland.com/journal 🐧 Wrestling a Walrus: https://danielleireland.com/wrestling-a-walrus Stay Connected 🌐 danielleireland.com 📸 Instagram 📺 YouTube If this conversation resonates, share it with someone who might need it today. Because love doesn't end when life does — and sometimes, the bravest thing we can do is say the name and tell the story.

Welcome to Don't Cut Your Own Bangs — the podcast that makes big feelings feel less scary and approaching them feel possible. I'm Danielle Ireland, LCSW, and today's episode is your Stress Reset: Holiday Boundaries and Presence — your one-stop, low-stress recap of my five-part series Put Down the Panic: A Kinder Guide to Stress. Think of this episode like a cozy audio love note — equal parts humor, heart, and a gentle nudge to slow down before the chaos of the season pulls you under. I'm walking you through: - Why exhaustion isn't laziness (it's a signal, not a flaw). - What burnout really looks like — and how to catch it before it pulls you under. - The power of saying "no" kindly (and why that's a gift to everyone). - How to turn down the volume on stress when life gets too loud. - And why your body's signals are the wisest holiday planner you have. Together we'll laugh, breathe deeper, and hopefully feel seen — because no, you're not the only one who's almost cried during family photos or used caffeine as a coping mechanism. 🎁 Resources Mentioned in the Episode: • The Treasured Journal — 7-part guided journal + meditations for self-reflection • Wrestling a Walrus — a children's book for little people with big feelings • Free Meditation Bundle — 3 calming tracks to ground you when things feel too heavy If this episode helped you breathe a little easier, share it with a friend who's "powering through." And remember — the magic of the holidays isn't something you create; it's something you allow yourself to feel. Connect with me: 📺 YouTube: @DontCutYourOwnBangs 🌐 Website: danielleireland.com 📸 Instagram: @DontCutYourOwnBangs

Welcome (back!) to Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs — the podcast that makes big feelings feel less scary and approaching them feel possible. I’m Danielle Ireland, LCSW, and in this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Kate Lund — psychologist, TEDx speaker, and author of Step Away: A Modern Guide for Overwhelmed Parents to Reclaim Strength and Connection. If you’ve been feeling burnt out, stretched thin, or overwhelmed by life, this conversation will help you find calm in the chaos. Dr. Kate shares her story — from growing up with a rare medical condition to parenting twins — and how those experiences shaped her understanding of resilience, context, and compassion. Together, we explore what it really takes to bounce back, not by pushing harder, but by slowing down and reconnecting with what matters most. ✨ In this episode, you’ll learn: A 5-minute relaxation technique to instantly reduce overwhelm Why intentional living beats perfectionism when you’re stretched thin How to build emotional resilience and model calm for your family Small daily habits that create space, peace, and perspective Favorite Quotes: “Intentionality is the antidote to overwhelm.” “Context is your lane — drive that road well.” “Start the day modulated, not already maxed.” Because you deserve calm, clarity, and connection — without having to earn it. 🎧 Listen & Subscribe: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube Learn more about Dr. Kate’s work: Step Away: A Modern Guide for Overwhelmed Parents to Reclaim Strength and Connection The Optimized Mind Podcast by Dr. Kate Lund www.katelundspeaks.com 🌿 Connect with Danielle: 📺 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs 🌐 Website: https://danielleireland.com/ 📖 The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielleireland_lcsw Children’s Book: https://danielleireland.com/wrestling-a-walrus Subscribe for more gentle, therapy-informed conversations on stress, burnout recovery, and emotional wellness. 👉 Subscribe here: https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs and join the Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs community — because you deserve calm without having to earn it.

The holiday season is here, and with it comes an avalanche of invitations, requests, and expectations. Parties, bake sales, family gatherings, end-of-year deadlines—it’s the season of “yes.” And before I know it, my energy tank starts flashing empty. In this final episode of Put Down the Panic: A Kinder Guide to Stress, I wanted to end on one of the most important themes of the entire series: boundaries—and how to say no kindly, clearly, and without guilt. If the word no gets caught in your throat or you find yourself agreeing to things you never actually wanted to do, you’re not alone. I’ve been there too. Saying no can feel like disappointing people or breaking some invisible rule about being “nice.” But I’ve learned that boundaries aren’t about rejection—they’re about clarity. They’re not a way of shutting people out; they’re a way of keeping myself grounded and connected. In this episode, I share why it’s so hard to say no, what our early attachment patterns have to do with it, and how we can begin to change that story. Many of us—especially women —were conditioned to be accommodating, pleasing, and available. But constantly saying yes doesn’t make us generous; it makes us exhausted. I’ll walk you through a few of my favorite tools and gentle language swaps to make “no” feel a little lighter, including: “Thank you for thinking of me, but I can’t commit right now.” “I don’t have the capacity, but here’s another option.” “No, thank you.” (Yes, that’s a full sentence!) I also talk about one of my favorite practices: treating boundaries as an act of self-partnership. I imagine my past and future self as teammates. The version of me from three days ago who blocked out time on the calendar, made lunch plans at home, or said no to something that would’ve drained me—she was taking care of me. And the me right now? I’m doing the same for the future version who’ll thank me later. Boundaries aren’t punishment; they’re protection. And when I honor my energy first, I can show up more fully for the things and people that truly matter. If you’ve ever felt the pressure to do it all, to say yes to every request, or to overexplain your “no,” I hope this episode feels like permission to breathe again. Saying no with kindness and calm is one of the most loving things we can do—for ourselves and for everyone around us. Resources Mentioned: – The Treasure Journal: A 7-part guided journal and meditation series to help you reset before burnout sets in. – Wrestling a Walrus: For Little People with Big Feelings: A playful tool for helping kids (and grown-ups) name and navigate big emotions with compassion. FREE mediation download Connect with Danielle: Watch the show on YouTube Instagram If this conversation helps you take one deep breath or say one kinder no, share it with a friend who might need the same reminder. Because you deserve calm—without having to earn it.

“If Plan A is meaningful enough, there should not be a Plan B and a Plan C.” Martha Hoover joins me for a wide-ranging, candid convo on vision, hospitality, change, and unapologetically starting your “second rodeo.” We talk about building something distinctive, even if the world isn’t ready for it, parenting and businesses growing up like “twins,” learning to say "no", and why perfection is a trap. Martha shares stories—from sexism at the bank to learning stick shift in one afternoon—that show how courage, clarity, and follow-through beat “shoulda-coulda-woulda” every time. In this episode, we cover: Hospitality is its own “superpower”: making people feel truly welcomed in your sacred spaces Creating what you wanted—and trusting others want it, too Change as the only constant (and how to lean into it) Energy budgeting: non-negotiables, boundaries, and saying no without guilt Parenting, business, and growth on parallel timelines Ageism, relevance, and launching a “Second Rodeo” in your 70s Failing with joy, learning publicly, and persisting without a Plan B 3 Key Takeaways Define and defend your non-negotiables. Write them down, communicate them, and hold them—because expectations go both ways. Change isn’t the enemy—resistance is. Treat pivots as progress: if something doesn’t work, you’ve learned… and you can change again. Commit to Plan A. When the goal matters, ditch the escape hatches. Commitment calms the noise and focuses your energy. Links & Mentions Martha Hoover on InstagramMartha’s MSH Collective:A Longer Table (Formerly known as the Patachou Foundation) The Mother Load by Sarah Hoover (audiobook recommended) “Learning How to Surf” short film (Hurley) — a blueprint for learning anything Connect with Danielle: Watch the show on YouTube Instagram The Treasured Journal Wrestling a Walrus If this episode made you braver about your next chapter, share it with a friend and subscribe, so you don’t miss the next conversation.

Stress symptoms you’ve been brushing off aren’t flaws—they’re messages. In this Don't Cut Your Own Bangs mini-series - Put Down the Panic: A Kinder Guide to Stress, therapist Danielle Ireland, walks through the quiet ways stress shows up (jaw clenching, gut flutters, broken sleep) and how a few gentle shifts can keep those whispers from turning into burnout—perfect timing as the holidays approach. Here’s the heart of it: your body is a messenger, not a problem. “The way your body is responding to stress is not failure—it is information.” You also can’t outrun stress—“Suppressed stress doesn’t vanish.” High thresholds only delay the crash. The good news? Tiny things work. A one-minute body-scan, a short walk or stretch, and a slow, deep breath can reset more than you think when you do them consistently. Want ideas you can try today? Do a quick head-to-toe scan to notice tension, add a few minutes of gentle movement, and breathe slowly—simple box breathing (4-4-4-4) if that helps. These aren’t grand gestures; they’re steady, doable practices that add up. Resources • The Treasured Journal (7-part guided journal + meditations) • Wrestling a Walrus For Little People with Big Feelings Watch the show on YouTube follow on Instagram Stick around to the end for a reminder you’ll want on repeat—and subscribe so you don’t miss the final episode of this mini-series (there’s a special audio-only gift inside). If this helped, a quick like, subscribe, and review helps more people find calm. 00:00 Why small signals matter 02:20 Common stress signs 08:50 Why we minimize 12:20 Hustle