MonoRants @The Movies

They say most of your brain shuts down during podcasting. All but the primitive side, the ranting side. That's right, we're talking Vin Diesel career launcher and favourite of Ciara's "Pitch Black". So stay in the light and join us for a rant about a lying junkie hero, a selfish cowardly leader and a noble heroic villain, all wrapped up in a movie that hides it's monsters well, with some of ridiculously boring sci-fi names and one small moment of ick. Find us on Twitter: @rantsmono, Bluesky: @MonoRants, Instagram: MonoRants_The_Boys or send your own rants to monorantspodcast@gmail.com

We're staying in England this week and we're going for a sequel as the rage zombies return in "28 Weeks Later". So stay in the designated safe zone as you listen to this rant about being drastically different from 28 Days Later, Robert Carlyle always being a bastard, Dead London but living islands, zombies with intent, reusing music and one nausea inducing zoom Find us on Twitter: @rantsmono, Instagram: MonoRants_The_Boys or send your own rants to monorantspodcast@gmail.com

We're heading to the far off future of 2027 this week with the painfully realistic 2006 classic "Children of Men". So get your Strawberry Cough and join us for a rant about fancy camerawork, subtle worldbuilding, an underrated stoner scene, being both mean and nice to Britain, giving every death weight (except Patric's) and saving all the art for no-one. Find us on Twitter: @rantsmono, Instagram: MonoRants_The_Boys or send your own rants to monorantspodcast@gmail.com

We're long overdue for another witchy film so we're talking 90's cult classic "The Craft" this week. So join our coven and enjoy this rant about the scale of witches, Fairuza Balk killing it (and people) as Nancy, Sarah killing us with boredom, Robin and her hilarious run and what actually counts as The Craft's legacy. Find us on Twitter: @rantsmono, Instagram: MonoRants_The_Boys or send your own rants to monorantspodcast@gmail.com

After six weeks of moody vampires we're done with emotions and so is this weeks film. It's all about the gun kata and emotionless murder with 2002's "Equilibrium". So be sure to take your interval before you join us for a rant about getting more than we expected, kinda wasting the clerics, witches, matriarchs and religious imagery, a movie that develops with the antagonists emotions, a society bound to stagnate and where Prozium comes from. Find us on Twitter: @rantsmono, Instagram: MonoRants_The_Boys or send your own rants to monorantspodcast@gmail.com

Twilight's over but we're not done with moody vampires yet. We needed something to get the sparkly taste out of our mouths so this week we're talking 90's classic "Interview With The Vampire". Let us give you the choice we never had, and join us for a rant about a film that wastes nothing, falling in love with vampire movies, narrating the Spanish edition, the devil freeing slaves and Louis being objectively worse than Edward. Find us on Twitter: @rantsmono, Instagram: MonoRants_The_Boys or send your own rants to monorantspodcast@gmail.com

We finally made it. We're at the end of the Twilight Saga with 2012's Breaking Dawn Part 2 and it wasn't quite as bad as Mono expected. So dive into the world of sparkly vampires with us one last time for a rant about not giving character deaths any weight, Emmett being a horn dog, poor confused Charlie, Alice's obvious note, Bella being the superawesomebestvampireever and J Jenks being the real villain of the series. Find us on Twitter: @rantsmono, Instagram: MonoRants_The_Boys or send your own rants to monorantspodcast@gmail.com

It's time for the last of the Twlight films as we lose all momentum and grind to a halt with Breaking Dawn Pt 1. So join us for another nothing film and a rant about Seth being adorable, constant comparisons to our own wedding, emergency clothes for werewolves, Edwards non rebellious rebellion, PB & Chicken for dinner and the massive massive problem with (and super convenience of) Imprinting. Find us on Twitter: @rantsmono, Instagram: MonoRants_The_Boys or send your own rants to monorantspodcast@gmail.com

We're on to the third film in the Twilight Saga this week with 2010's "Eclipse". It's the halfway point in the series but that's small comfort to Mono. So help him out and join us for a rant about a more blockbuster feel, the stupidity of the 3rd wife, Jacobs increasingly bad choices, waxing philosophical about souls, saying good riddance to Victoria and Mono finding common ground with Edward. Find us on Twitter: @rantsmono, Instagram: MonoRants_The_Boys or send your own rants to monorantspodcast@gmail.com

We carry on with the Twilight Saga and dive recklessly into New Moon with about as much forethought and preparation as Bella. So stare out a window for three months and join us for a rant about things getting marginally better, sleep screaming, Edward's terrible plan, Bella forgetting normal human abilities, Martin Sheen bringing a bit of class to the joint and Mono jumping on and quickly falling off Team Jacob. Find us on Twitter: @rantsmono, Instagram: MonoRants_The_Boys or send your own rants to monorantspodcast@gmail.com

March means we do something different again this year. But instead of animated films from our youth, Ciara is making Mono watch the Twilight Series for the first time. Lets kick things off with the 2008 franchise launcher "Twilight". So hold on tight spider monkeys and join us for a rant about some truly terrible wigs, even worse dialogue, so many stares, cooking fun with the Cullen Family and Mono's near constant exasperation. Find us on Twitter: @rantsmono, Instagram: MonoRants_The_Boys or send your own rants to monorantspodcast@gmail.com

We're off to Franco's Spain to play with Fairies and Fauns this week, as we look at Guillermo Del Toro's incredibly beautiful and moving 2006 offering "Pan's Labyrinth". So join us in the Otherworld for a rant about dual narratives and dual readings, incredible characters, that bastard captain, beautifully dark monsters, Mono wanting to believe in the magic and Ciara not wanting to f**k with the Fairies. Find us on Twitter: @rantsmono, Instagram: MonoRants_The_Boys or send your own rants to monorantspodcast@gmail.com

Can we come with you? No? Fine, come with us as we talk massively underappreciated sci-fi gem Screamers. So light your Reds and join us for a rant about porn glasses, rat cuisine, knock-off Roy Batty, beautiful matte paintings and recognising the wrong part of Peter Wellers face. Find us on Twitter: @rantsmono, Instagram: MonoRants_The_Boys or send your own rants to monorantspodcast@gmail.com

Get ready for a pair of muppets talking puppets. That's right we're looking at the only super patriotic supermarionation film ever with 2004's "Team America World Police". So get ready to Valmorphanize with this rant about still holding up, incredible sets, quotable bad guys, wanting more non South Park stuff and Mono actually liking a musical. Find us on Twitter: @rantsmono, Instagram: MonoRants_The_Boys or send your own rants to monorantspodcast@gmail.com

Would you like to rant more? We would and do, with 1997's over the top space satire "Starship Troopers". So join us in the co-ed shower for a tangent filled rant about fun bugs, great gore, Kryten hands, Mormons in Space (and Missouri), arguments for cannibalism, BDSM Quasar and Bioluminescent Poop. Find us on Twitter: @rantsmono, Instagram: MonoRants_The_Boys or send your own rants to monorantspodcast@gmail.com

We have a little gem of a movie for you this week. One that we only just discovered ourselves, but loved it so much we had to share it with our lovely listeners. So join us for a rant about 1997's "Drive". A film that has a little bit of everything; action, humour, explosions, Mark Dacascos, really inventive fight scenes, a live action Cheryl Tunt and a frog with the brain of a theoretical physicist. Find us on Twitter: @rantsmono, Instagram: MonoRants_The_Boys or send your own rants to monorantspodcast@gmail.com

Come with us to visit extreme 90's Hell and one of the only clowns that Ciara actually likes. Its 1997's early comic book movie "Spawn". So sell your soul for this rant about useless mythical mentors, John Leguizamo being the best thing in this movie, everyone acting in different movies and CGI that holds up about as well as Hells plans. Find us on Twitter: @rantsmono, Instagram: MonoRants_The_Boys or send your own rants to monorantspodcast@gmail.com

It's time to punch racism in the face while we laugh with 1974's legendary comedy "Blazing Saddles". It's many things but it ain't PC, but then neither are we. So join us for a rooting tootin old west rant about Mel Brooks smashing racism harder than he smashes the 4th wall, an all round amazing cast, references we did & didn't get, Jim & Barts friendship and the few small things that don't hold up. Find us on Twitter: @rantsmono, Instagram: MonoRants_The_Boys or send your own rants to monorantspodcast@gmail.com

It's a new year but we're going back to one of our favorite directors with Neil Marshalls second film; The Descent. We kinda forgot how good it was but remember pretty quickly in this rant about the base jumping opportunities in Galway, ignoring the basics of caving safety, which ending is better, Ciara remembering her own caving adventures and Mono thinking he can take on the crawlers. Find us on Twitter: @rantsmono, Instagram: MonoRants_The_Boys or send your own rants to monorantspodcast@gmail.com

Oh what a lovely day! What a lovely day to cover 2015's phenomenal "Mad Max: Fury Road". So Witness us bloodbags, with a rant about a beautiful post-apocalypse, impeccable world building, sea battles on wheels, a War Boy with a future in musical theatre and feeling like Homer not getting to watch the yakuza fight. Find us on Twitter: @rantsmono, Instagram: MonoRants_The_Boys or send your own rants to monorantspodcast@gmail.com