Behind The Smile with Ash Butterss

This week you’re invited to listen in as Ash sits down with her lifelong friend Edwina, to explore what it means to remake your life in the wake of loss, motherhood, and big internal change. Edwina opens up about the sudden death of her brother, how grief reshaped her sense of self, and the quiet, courageous decision to question her relationship with alcohol. She shares what happened when she chose an alcohol-free life, not just on the surface, but in her identity, her friendships, and the way she shows up as a mother and a woman. Ash and Edwina dive into the role of therapy on this path, unpacking powerful modalities like EMDR, and how these practices helped her meet the younger parts of herself with compassion instead of criticism. Together, they talk about the fears that come with sobriety and the unexpected gifts that arrive when the noise of drinking is stripped away. The conversation shines a light on how retreats, community, and intentional healing practices can open space for self-discovery, deeper connection, and true emotional safety. Episode Chapters: ​​00:00 Introduction to Retreats and Self-Discovery 01:35 Meet Edwina: A Journey Through Life 03:34 Navigating Grief and Vulnerability 06:44 The Impact of Injury on Identity 09:11 Finding Purpose in Adversity 11:01 Hiding Behind a Smile: The Photo Story 21:17 The Unfairness of Life and Loss 23:00 Alcohol: A Coping Mechanism 35:13 Healing and Understanding Family Dynamics 35:48 Therapeutic Journeys: Exploring EMDR and Internal Family Systems 38:02 The Alcohol-Free Awakening: A Personal Journey 42:09 Facing Fears: The Terrifying Decision to Quit Drinking 46:14 Redefining Relationships: Alcohol and Authentic Connections 50:21 Building Deeper Friendships: The Shift in Social Dynamics 55:12 The Power of Vulnerability: Authenticity in Relationships 01:01:05 Embracing Change: The Journey of Self-Discovery 01:07:52 Investing in Self: The Importance of Personal Retreats 01:12:30 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life: Community, Nourishment, and Movement Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Upcoming Workshops: Join Ash on retreat in 2026! The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In another deeply honest solo episode, Ash reflects on the six biggest mistakes she’s made across six years of sobriety and how each one became a turning point for growth, self-trust, and real transformation. She takes you back to the day her life changed, then walks you through the lessons that followed, from expecting others to change, to trying to squeeze her new self into her old life, to giving her power away to people who didn’t have the best intentions. She opens up about people pleasing, outgrowing relationships, chasing what’s next instead of appreciating what’s now, and the humbling realisation that healing has no finish line. These are the truths she learned the long way, the kind that only come through lived experience, deep reflection, and choosing honesty over comfort. If you’re navigating change, questioning your path, or learning how to stand in your truth even when it costs you, this episode will feel like a conversation you didn’t know you needed. Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Upcoming Workshops: Join Ash on retreat in 2026! The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Reset and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this powerful and deeply honest conversation, Ash is joined by her mentor and high performance advisor, Mark “Dobbo” Dobson, for a thought-provoking exploration of what it truly takes to grow, evolve, and rise after life challenges you. Together they dive beneath surface level success and unpack the real work behind clarity, purpose, and personal expansion. Dobbo shares hard-earned wisdom on defining your values, sharpening your vision, and having the courage to live in full alignment with who you really are. They also explore how adversity can become a catalyst for transformation, and why the relationships we choose play a pivotal role in shaping the person we become. This conversation is a powerful reminder that meaningful growth is not built on perfection, it is built on honesty, resilience, and the willingness to turn life’s hardest moments into the foundation for something greater. You can connect with Dobbo through his website www.dobbo.com.au. Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Join Ash on retreat in 2026! The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Ash is joined again by her dad, Rod, for a candid conversation about the real complexities of love and relationships. They unpack topics many people experience but rarely talk about openly, including love addiction, love avoidance, codependency, and what healthy communication actually looks like in practice. Drawing on both personal experience and honest reflection, they explore how family dynamics shape the way we love, the patterns we repeat without realising, and what it takes to change them. Ash also opens up about a deeply personal crossroads, her uncertainty around motherhood, and the inner questions that come with choosing a path that feels true rather than expected. Their father daughter conversations are always listener favourites, and this is exactly why they continue to shine a light on the honest, nuanced conversations that many people are thinking about, but few feel safe enough to say out loud. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Ash has a raw conversation with husband, father, and sober human Vim Verma as they discuss addiction, identity, and what happens when you finally stop running from yourself. Vim opens up about growing up in a mixed-race culture where drinking was normalised, emotions were rarely spoken about, and asking for help felt almost impossible. Together, they unpack the quiet pressures of family expectations, the heavy emotional charge of the holiday season, and the stigma that keeps so many people suffering in silence. There are moments of grief, moments of clarity, and Vim’s classic humour, that remind us how human this journey really is. Vim also shares how his recovery program, meditation, and spiritual practice became a turning point, helping him strip back the noise and reconnect with who he is beneath the coping mechanisms. This is a conversation about breaking cycles, choosing courage over comfort, and discovering that real healing starts on the inside. If you’ve ever questioned your relationship with alcohol, felt trapped by expectations, or wondered what life could look like if you truly listened to yourself, this episode will land. Episode Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Retreats and Self-Discovery 01:34 Vim Verma's Journey to Sobriety 03:45 Navigating Sobriety During the Holidays 04:54 Cultural Influences on Drinking 07:24 The Impact of Family Dynamics 07:53 Getting to Know Vim: Daily Life and Fun 14:06 Hiding Behind a Smile: The Photo Story 16:20 The Progression of Alcoholism 19:05 Consequences of Drinking: Crashing and Bashing 28:18 The Turning Point: Seeking Help 31:44 Experiences in Early Recovery 38:47 Finding Hope in Recovery 41:54 Life After Sobriety: Changes and Growth 47:50 Navigating Life's Challenges in Recovery 51:23 The Role of Support in Recovery 59:46 Non-Negotiables for a Happy Life You can connect with Vim through his Instagram here. Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Upcoming Workshops: A Return To You | One Day Retreat Sunday 22nd February, 2026 Tickets available here. Join Ash on retreat in 2026! The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this special episode, Ash is joined by her longtime friend Ash Murray. For years, both women battled addiction silently, only sharing the full depths of their stories with one another after coming into recovery. Today, Ash Murray is the Eating Disorder Lead and Therapist at The Wave Clinic in Malaysia, with her expertise grounded not just in study, but in lived experience. Ash opens up about her personal journey through eating disorders and alcohol addiction, sharing what recovery has truly looked like beyond the surface. From the isolating depths of illness which nearly took her life, to the slow rebuilding of trust, self-worth, and connection, she reflects on the pivotal role that rehab, honesty, healing and self-care have played in finding lasting freedom. Together, they explore the intersection of therapy and lived experience, how vulnerability and empathy can become powerful tools for healing both self and others. They unpack the mental health challenges that intensified during the COVID-19 pandemic, and the importance of ongoing support in maintaining balance and wellbeing. Episode chapter: 00:00 Introduction to Ashley Murray's Journey 02:57 Life in Malaysia and Work at the Wave Clinic 05:46 Navigating COVID-19 in Treatment 08:21 The Impact of COVID-19 on Mental Health 11:08 A Photo that Represents Struggles 13:55 The Super Yacht Experience and Its Consequences 16:27 The Turning Point: Seeking Help 19:22 Life in Bali and the Struggle with Addiction 22:16 The Rock Bottom Moment 24:49 Desperation and the Path to Recovery 27:08 The Turning Point: Reaching Out for Help 31:53 Childhood Struggles: The Roots of Eating Disorders 44:03 Escaping Reality: The Need to Hide 48:25 Facing the Truth: A Journey of Self-Discovery 54:28 The Struggle of Surrendering Control 57:02 The Complexity of Eating Disorders 59:13 The Power of Intervention 01:00:41 Transformation Through Therapy 01:04:11 Building Trust in Recovery 01:06:15 The Importance of Honesty 01:08:57 Setting Boundaries for Recovery 01:13:03 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life Connect with Ash through: https://thewaveclinic.com/ https://www.instagram.com/thewaveclinic/ Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Upcoming Workshops: A Return To You | One Day Retreat Sunday 22nd February, 2026 Tickets available here. Join Ash on retreat in 2026! The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Ash sits down with husband, father, and business owner James Date to explore what life looks like after addiction—and how recovery has reshaped the way he moves through the world. James shares how community, service, and genuine connection became the anchors of his sobriety, transforming what once felt like isolation into a life rich with meaning and purpose. He speaks openly about the power of vulnerability, the role of daily routines and prayer in keeping him grounded, and how embracing honesty has deepened his relationships at home and beyond. Together, Ash and James confront the lingering stigma around addiction and discuss the strength it takes to ask for help. Through moments of reflection and gratitude, James reveals the quiet joy found in showing up authentically each day—a reminder that recovery isn’t just about living without substances, but about rediscovering who you are underneath it all. Episode Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to James Date and His Journey 02:54 The Importance of Connection and Community in Recovery 05:52 Daily Routines and Spiritual Practices 08:58 The Role of Surrender in Recovery 11:58 Compassion and Kindness in Daily Life 15:01 Finding Joy in Service and Helping Others 17:57 The Impact of Sponsorship in Recovery 21:03 The Struggles of Identifying as an Addict 24:03 Behind the Smile: A Photo Reflection 26:53 The Journey to Acknowledging Addiction 30:08 Understanding the Roots of Addiction 32:54 The Ongoing Journey of Recovery 36:18 Understanding Alcoholism and Addiction 38:30 Rock Bottom Moments 42:14 Finding the Right Rehab 49:34 The Journey of Outpatient Recovery 51:23 The Importance of Vulnerability 56:54 Reconnecting with Self and Family 01:02:25 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life Connect with James below: Instagram: @slayingsober Podcast: Slaying Sober - listen on Spotify Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Upcoming Workshops: A Return To You | One Day Retreat Sunday 22nd February, 2026 Tickets available here. Join Ash on retreat in 2026! The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this solo episode, Ash challenges the myth that hustle creates happiness and asks a better question: what if the dream life is built through alignment and embodiment instead of force? Through her own transformation from corporate burnout and addiction to sobriety, surrender and spacious success, she explores why achievement without fulfilment leaves us empty and how co-creating with life can deliver breakthroughs hustle never could. She unpacks the Law of Least Effort, the power of nervous system safety, and the practical habits she’s using to set up 2026, including her word of the year and a new manifesto that prioritises alignment, presence, ease and self trust. If you’re tired of pushing, proving or performing, this episode shows you how to create more by doing less and build a life that feels good on the inside. Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Upcoming Workshops: A Return To You | One Day Retreat Sunday 22nd February, 2026 Tickets available here. Join Ash on retreat in 2026! The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After years of living with a debilitating condition, Rick Watson has learned what it truly means to face fear and find freedom on the other side. In this episode, the holistic coach and gestalt therapist in training opens up about the profound transformation that followed his diagnosis, the trauma of constant uncertainty, and the life-altering decision to undergo brain surgery. Rick shares how recovery from both the physical and emotional toll of his condition sparked a deeper journey toward authenticity and self-understanding. As he describes his transition into therapy, he unpacks the core principles of gestalt work: presence, honesty, and the courage to be seen as you are. The conversation explores how health challenges can reshape identity, relationships, and purpose and how taking full responsibility for our emotions becomes the key to freedom. Together, Ash and Rick reflect on themes of vulnerability, generational patterns, and the importance of truly listening to ourselves and others. They discuss burnout in helping professions, the meaning found in midlife transitions, and the art of mapping one’s inner world to reveal clarity and connection. Episode Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Rick Watson and His Journey 02:58 Living with Epilepsy: The Hidden Struggles 05:55 The Impact of Brain Surgery and Recovery 08:57 Life After Epilepsy: Embracing Freedom 11:54 Transitioning to Therapy: A New Path 15:02 Gestalt Therapy: Understanding the Modality 18:05 The Importance of Being Present 20:48 Personal Growth Through Therapy Retreats 23:58 Authenticity: The Journey to Being Yourself 32:01 The Power of Vulnerability in Men's Circles 35:56 Unpacking Core Wounds and Generational Patterns 39:48 Navigating Burnout and Protecting Energy 44:04 The Importance of Listening and Emotional Responsibility 49:00 Finding Meaning in Midlife Transitions 55:53 Mapping the Inner Self for Clarity 01:00:59 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life You can connect with Rick through: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rickwatson_/ Website: https://www.rickwatson.com.au/ Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/3r8QaWJYgB73pOF9b0Hi0t?si=76e4b44b93864ba0 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

To kick off the new year, Ash sits down with holistic psychologist Laura Corcoran for a soulful and grounded conversation about how to truly create a powerful year ahead. Together, they explore the practice of letting go, not as something you think your way through, but as something you feel, embody, and live. They speak candidly about surrender, emotional release, and the subtle moments where growth asks you to slow down, soften, and trust yourself more deeply. Woven throughout is the importance of authenticity and the role of community in supporting real, lasting change. As they reflect on the year that’s been and turn their attention toward what’s possible next, Ash and Laura invite you to reconsider what it means to thrive. Less hustle, more presence. Less force, more space. A year shaped by rest, reflection, and joy, rather than pressure or perfection. The episode closes with an exciting announcement about The Embodied Woman, their upcoming retreat created for women who are ready to reconnect with their bodies, reclaim their worth, and step into the next chapter feeling grounded, supported, and deeply embodied. Episode Chapters: 00:00 New Beginnings: Embracing 2026 01:38 Letting Go: The Journey of Self-Discovery 04:29 The Power of Surrender: Trusting the Process 09:54 Finding Strength Within: The Role of Emotional Release 14:30 The Simplicity of Self-Connection: Embracing Stillness 18:57 Redefining Success: From External Validation to Inner Peace 23:22 The Importance of Community: Navigating Transformation Together 26:26 Embracing Self-Worth and Authenticity 27:20 Breaking Free from Co-dependency 29:56 The Power of Presence and Self-Expression 31:21 Navigating Loneliness and Connection 35:30 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Embodiment 37:27 Setting Intentions for 2026 43:11 The Embodied Woman Retreat 49:39 Taking Action Towards Change You can connect with Laura on her IG @hersuccessfulmind Upcoming Workshops: A Return To You | One Day Retreat Sunday 22nd February, 2026 Tickets available here. Join Ash on retreat in 2026! The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In part two of this conversation, Gabby opens up about what happened after her first attempt at recovery, when alcohol crept back in and the old patterns she thought she’d left behind began to resurface in new, painful ways. She speaks honestly about the experience of being a “dry drunk,” white-knuckling her way through sobriety without true emotional healing, and how that disconnection eventually led her back to party drugs and an inevitable rock bottom. Through raw reflection, Gabby unpacks the misconceptions she once held about addiction and sobriety, the fear that kept her stuck, and the moment she finally became willing to seek deeper help. She explores the ongoing nature of recovery: the reality of relapse, the weight of unaddressed trauma, and the mental health struggles that don’t magically disappear when the substances do. Ash and Gabby talk about the power of community, the safety of honest relationships, and the courage it takes to let others in when shame is loud. At the heart of this episode is a message of hope, about the transformative role of gratitude, self-awareness, and self-care in building a life that is not just sober, but genuinely connected and worth staying for. Episode Chapters: 00:00 Introduction and Trigger Warning 01:00 First Round of Recovery: A Journey Begins 05:51 The Struggle with Alcohol and Denial 09:59 The Dry Drunk Experience 14:01 Revisiting Old Habits: The Return of Party Drugs 19:53 Rock Bottom: A Descent into Darkness 28:16 Facing Fear and Seeking Help 31:42 The Journey to Rehab 32:39 Discovering Community in Recovery 35:40 Relapse and Realizations 38:17 Understanding Rock Bottom 41:54 Navigating Mental Health in Recovery 45:49 Exploring CPTSD and Healing 51:53 Finding Balance in Recovery 57:24 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life Connect with Gabby: IG: @bellylaughsbrutalhonesty and @gabriellesiobhan Podcast: Belly Laughs and Brutal Honesty Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Upcoming Workshops: A Return To You | One Day Retreat Sunday 22nd February, 2026 Tickets available here. Join Ash on retreat in 2026! The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Support Services If this conversation has brought anything up for you, please know you don’t have to go through it alone. Support is always available. You can reach out to Lifeline on 13 11 14 for 24/7 crisis support, Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 for mental health support and guidance, or the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 for free counselling. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this two-part episode, I sit down with my close friend Gabby Williamson to lift the lid on the reality of living life in recovery. In part one of this conversation we talk about how, in her mid thirties, Gabby had everything that was supposed to add up to a good life - an impressive marketing career, a busy social calendar, and a carefully curated image. Behind the scenes, though, she was unraveling, using substances to cope with unresolved pain, mounting pressure, and a growing sense of disconnection from herself. Gabby shares the story of what happened when her life finally collided with the truth. She talks about hitting rock bottom and entering rehab at 39, and how that experience became the doorway to resilience, gratitude, and a completely new way of living. Her journey stretches back to childhood challenges, early substance use, and the impact of boarding school on her sense of identity, tracing how those early wounds shaped the choices she made in adulthood. Ash and Gabby explore the realities of navigating concerts, parties, and dating in recovery, and what it means to show up to those spaces without the old crutches. Gabby reflects on past relationships, the societal expectations that kept her performing a role, and the ongoing work of embracing her authentic self. She also speaks about motherhood, the weight of her decisions, and the profound growth that comes with redefining love, intimacy, and connection through a sober lens. Episode Chapters: 00:00 Introduction and Background 02:55 Life in Recovery and Daily Routines 05:53 Navigating Social Situations in Sobriety 08:58 Experiences at Concerts and Events 11:58 Reflections on Past Relationships and Self-Perception 15:06 The Impact of Substance Abuse on Life 18:12 The Role of Gratitude in Recovery 20:51 Hiding Behind a Smile: Personal Struggles 23:48 Childhood and Early Exposure to Substance Use 37:31 Childhood Trauma and Early Coping Mechanisms 40:31 The Impact of Boarding School on Identity 46:32 Escalation of Substance Use in Adolescence 51:29 Navigating Relationships and Emotional Connections 01:00:06 Reflections on Motherhood and Personal Choices 01:06:32 Dating in Recovery and Redefining Relationships Connect with Gabby: IG: @bellylaughsbrutalhonesty and @gabriellesiobhan Podcast: Belly Laughs and Brutal Honesty Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Upcoming Workshops: A Return To You | One Day Retreat Sunday 22nd February, 2026 Tickets available here. Join Ash on retreat in 2026! The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Support Services If this conversation has brought anything up for you, please know you don’t have to go through it alone. Support is always available. You can reach out to Lifeline on 13 11 14 for 24/7 crisis support, Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 for mental health support and guidance, or the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 for free counselling. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Back by popular demand, this father daughter episode brings the conversation close to home, as Ash sits down with her dad, Rod, to explore what it truly means to grow, heal, and live with intention. Together, they reflect on how energy, consciousness, and the way we choose to see the world can shape the course of a life far more than circumstance ever could. Together, Ash and Rod dive into the practices that have supported their own journeys, including gratitude and meditation, and how these tools have helped them navigate relationships, soften old patterns, and find a deeper sense of peace beneath ambition and material success. They speak honestly about the complexities of family dynamics, the tension between chasing more and being enough, and the ongoing work of aligning how you live with what really matters. With the holiday season looming, their conversation turns to the emotional weight that Christmas can carry, especially for those in recovery or struggling behind the scenes. They share gentle, practical insights on protecting your energy, setting boundaries, and meeting yourself with compassion during a time that can feel anything but festive. At its heart, this episode is an invitation to slow down, look within, and choose kindness, to yourself and others, as a daily, deliberate practice. Episode Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to the Holistic Retreat 00:45 Exploring Personal Growth and Energy 03:19 The Power of Ho'oponopono and Forgiveness 06:17 Understanding Consciousness and Energy Frequencies 08:53 Navigating Relationships and Personal Growth 11:39 The Role of Gratitude in Healing 14:29 Reflections on Materialism and Happiness 18:03 Ambition vs. Inner Peace 21:53 The Importance of Self-Awareness 24:45 Christmas and Family Dynamics 27:25 Coping with Holiday Stress and Expectations 30:03 Navigating Sober Holidays 34:06 Finding Peace in Family Gatherings 36:42 The Shift from Materialism to Experiences 39:42 The Importance of Kindness and Connection 42:28 Final Thoughts and Non-Negotiables for Happiness Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Upcoming Workshops: A Return To You | One Day Retreat Sunday 22nd February, 2026 Tickets available here. Join Ash on retreat in 2026! The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the heart of New York City, Abby Calabrese was living the dream on paper but the reality was she was quietly unravelling behind the scenes. Long days, late nights, and a culture steeped in drinking turned alcohol into her go-to coping mechanism, even as the cost to her wellbeing grew harder to ignore. In this episode, Abby shares how walking away from alcohol became the catalyst for a complete identity shift and the creation of Alcohol Free Rebellion, a movement dedicated to helping others question the role alcohol plays in their lives. Ash and Abby dive into the awkwardness of social events without a drink in hand, the emotional honesty that sobriety demands, and how choosing not to numb out can radically transform relationships and self-worth. Abby offers practical guidance for facing triggers, especially during the holidays, while staying anchored in intention, community, and self-compassion. She speaks to the power of mindfulness in strengthening intuition and making choices that truly align with who you are. At the heart of her story are the non-negotiables she now lives by: authenticity, emotional awareness, and unwavering self-care as the foundation of a full, meaningful, alcohol-free life. Episode Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Abby Calabrese and Her Journey 02:53 Navigating Life After Alcohol 05:45 The Challenge of Socializing Sober 08:29 Understanding Emotions and Feelings 11:34 Shifting Perspectives on Life 14:20 The Impact of Alcohol on Relationships 17:25 Hiding Behind a Smile: Abby's Photo Story 20:02 Recognizing Rock Bottoms and Justifications 22:48 The Roots of Abby's Drinking History 24:19 The Role of Alcohol in Socialization 29:29 Recognizing the Problem 32:21 The Turning Point 37:24 The Challenge of Sobriety 38:44 Shame and Stigma in Motherhood 43:59 Transforming Relationships in Sobriety 45:46 Embracing Authenticity in Relationships 47:22 Navigating Sobriety During the Holidays 49:16 Practical Tips for Alcohol-Free Celebrations 53:40 Listening to Your Intuition 56:50 Cultivating Mindfulness and Self-Awareness 01:02:36 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Upcoming Workshops: The Letting Go Ritual: Breathwork, Yin, and Intention Setting for 2026 Tickets available here. A Return To You | One Day Retreat Sunday 22nd February, 2026 Tickets available here. Join Ash on retreat in 2026! The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Growing up on the streets of London, Damo H learned at an early age how to outrun pain, but it always caught up. In this candid and moving episode, Damo traces his journey through childhood trauma, the shadow of addiction, and the relentless pursuit of healing. He recounts how alcohol first became his refuge, how physical injury and prescription medication complicated his path, and how new beginnings in Australia brought a new set of challenges. The rock bottoms came again and again, each one forcing him to confront the reality of his disease. Through service, community, and the support of a 12-step program, Damo found answers that went deeper than sobriety. He shares how recovery reshaped his family, revived his passion for photography, and gave him a sense of purpose. With honesty and hope, Damo reveals what it means to rebuild life from the ground up, and how after years of struggle, he’s learning to embrace happiness, gratitude, and authentic connection. Episode Chapters: 00:00 Introduction and Letting Go Ritual 00:51 Meet Damo H: A Journey Begins 02:57 Daily Life and Recovery Practices 05:59 The Role of Service in Recovery 08:47 Childhood and Family Dynamics 12:01 The First Drink: A Turning Point 14:55 Growing Up in London: The Streets and Gangs 18:11 The Impact of Alcoholism on Relationships 20:50 Moving to Australia: New Beginnings 24:09 Career and Alcoholism: A Fragile Balance 27:08 Rehab and the Road to Sobriety 30:00 Family Tragedies and Resilience 32:04 Reflections on Sobriety and Happiness 36:24 The Slippery Slope of Addiction 39:54 The Return to Alcohol 46:11 Rock Bottoms and Revelations 50:40 A New Approach to Sobriety 01:01:30 Building a New Life in Sobriety 01:07:20 Non-Negotiables for a Happy Life Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Upcoming Workshops: The Letting Go Ritual: Breathwork, Yin, and Intention Setting for 2026 Tickets available here. A Return To You | One Day Retreat Sunday 22nd February, 2026 Tickets available here. Join Ash on retreat in 2026! The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this milestone 150th episode of Behind The Smile, Ash dives into a deeply personal conversation about healing, self perception, and the ever evolving journey of coming home to yourself. She unpacks the relationship between the inner critic, body image, and the way we move through the world, both physically and emotionally. Through honest reflection and lived experience, Ash explores the quiet conditions we place on our own worth and the tender work of learning to accept ourselves as we are, not as we think we should be. This episode is an invitation to look beneath the surface, to recognise how far you have already come, and to remember that growth is not a finish line, it is a lifelong practice. If you have ever battled your inner critic, questioned your worth, or felt the pull to redefine your relationship with yourself, this one will meet you right where you are. Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com The Letting Go Ritual: Breathwork, Yin, and Intention Setting for 2026 Tuesday 30th December, 2025 Tickets available here. A Return To You | One Day Retreat Sunday 22nd February, 2026 Tickets available here. The Embodied Woman Retreat - Gold Coast Hinterland May 14th - 17th, 2026 (3 nights, 4 days) All the details here. Join Ash on retreat in Bali in 2026! Rest & Renew Holistic Bali Retreat August 17th - 21st, 2026 (4 nights, 5 days) Click here for all the details! Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For Shannon McCabe, hitting rock bottom became the beginning of everything. Once living a life that looked “fine” on the outside yet was quietly ruled by addiction, Shannon, a sober coach and transformation mentor, opens up about the raw truth of her journey through alcohol dependency and the deep healing that followed. In this powerful conversation, Ash and Shannon explore the emotional unraveling that precedes real change, the spiritual awakening that came through surrender, and the daily rituals that now anchor her sobriety. Shannon speaks honestly about motherhood and the challenges that come with caring for a child with special needs. The shame she battled on a daily basis through her addiction. Rediscovering self-worth, and showing how setting boundaries and embracing community became her path to peace. This episode is a reminder that recovery isn’t about who you were, it’s about who you’re becoming. Episode chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Shannon's Journey 02:05 A Day in the Life of a Sober Mom 04:48 The Importance of Morning Routines 06:50 Devotional Practices and Spirituality 13:46 Behind the Smile: A Photo Reflection 21:40 The Progression of Alcohol Use 31:41 Moments of Clarity and Rock Bottoms 37:43 The All-or-Nothing Mindset 44:45 Non-Negotiables for a Sober Life 53:19 Navigating Relapses and Setbacks 58:42 Living Authentically and Free You can connect with Shannon using the links below: Website: www.shannonleighmccabe.com IG @shannonleighmccabe Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com The Letting Go Ritual: Breathwork, Yin, and Intention Setting for 2026 Tickets available here. Join Ash on retreat in Bali in 2026! All the details can be found at https://www.ashbutterss.com/bali-retreat-2026. Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What happens when self-worth becomes the missing piece in healing? In this episode, Ash sits down with Trauma Specialist and Psychotherapist, Jackson Goding, for a raw and thought-provoking conversation about what it really takes to recover, grow, and build authentic connection. Jackson opens up about his own journey through codependency, the reality of doing deep trauma work, and why self-worth sits at the heart of true healing. Together, they explore the often messy path of relationships, meditation, and emotional regulation, unravelling why personal growth is rarely linear and almost never easy. This episode goes far beyond the surface of “self-care.” It’s about courage, consistency, and the daily non-negotiables that help us return to ourselves again and again. Expect honesty, humour, and plenty of takeaways to help you nurture your own sense of worth and connection. Episode chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Jackson Goding and His Work 02:45 Living in Sydney and Future Plans 05:33 Daily Life and Mindfulness Practices 08:31 The Challenge of Powerlessness and Surrender 11:14 Meditation: The Struggle and Its Importance 14:04 Hiding Behind a Smile: Personal Struggles 17:00 Relationships as Mirrors for Personal Growth 19:40 The Complexity of Relationships and Recovery 22:21 The Journey to Becoming a Therapist 24:59 Core Beliefs and Their Impact on Identity 31:02 Navigating Shame and Self-Worth 31:46 Understanding Triggers and Responses 33:07 Effective Communication in Relationships 35:06 The Impact of Past Experiences 36:53 Identifying and Expressing Needs 39:59 The Importance of Boundaries 41:36 Self-Accountability and Inner Child Work 44:24 Defining Codependency 48:10 The Challenges of Recovery from Codependency 52:57 Staying Accountable in Relationships 56:12 Establishing Non-Negotiables for Self-Care 01:02:26 Finding Balance in Relationships You can connect with Jackson via the below channels: It Ends With Us Retreat: https://findreasontherapy.com.au/it-ends-with-us/ IG @findreasontherapy https://www.instagram.com/findreasontherapy/ Before you do more work: https://app.heartbeat.chat/findreason/courses/c/e7acf2c4-df05-4546-8b6c-092d8363fa2a Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com The Letting Go Ritual: Breathwork, Yin, and Intention Setting for 2026 Tickets available here. Join Ash on retreat in Bali in 2026! All the details can be found at https://www.ashbutterss.com/bali-retreat-2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

One moment changed everything for Rhiannon Tracey, but it didn’t define her spirit. In this heartfelt conversation, the motivational speaker, TEDx presenter, and wellness advocate opens up about the accident that left her with a spinal cord injury and the extraordinary journey that followed. Rhiannon shares how she transformed tragedy into purpose, from the early days of relearning life’s simplest tasks to founding a not-for-profit dedicated to helping others do the same. Along the way, she discovered the healing power of community, self-love, and joy in the smallest moments. With honesty and warmth, she reflects on the boundaries she’s learned to set, the intuition she’s learned to trust, and the unconditional love of her pets that carried her through. Her story is a moving reminder that freedom doesn’t come from circumstance, it comes from choosing to live with hope, gratitude, and authenticity. The episode highlights are: 00:00 Introduction to Resilience and Transformation 01:55 Daily Life and Joys of Rhiannon 05:11 Hiding Behind a Smile: A Photo Reflection 22:53 The Day That Changed Everything: Rhiannon's Accident 26:43 Resilience Through Adversity 29:52 Finding Hope in Trauma 37:30 The Role of Hope in Recovery 47:33 Creating a Community for Healing 50:12 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life You can connect with Rhiannon using the links below: Website: www.rhiannontracey.com.au The Next Step Recovery & Wellness Centre: www.thenextstepsci.org.au Instagram: @rhiannontraceymywheellife | @our_little_urban_homestead | @thenextstepscirecovery Email: rhiannontraceymywheellife@gmail.com Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Join Ash on retreat in Bali in 2026! All the details can be found at https://www.ashbutterss.com/bali-retreat-2026. Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After decades on the front line, retired police officer Jay Prothero found himself fighting a different kind of battle—the one inside his own mind. In this raw and powerful conversation, Jay opens up about the toll that years of trauma, high pressure, and suppressed emotion took on his mental health. He shares how anxiety, depression, and PTSD slowly crept in, and how alcohol became his escape from the pain he didn’t know how to face. But Jay’s story goes far deeper than his time in uniform. It’s also about the heartbreak of watching his own child spiral into ice addiction, and the painful, messy road toward family healing. Together, Ash and Jay unpack what it truly means to break the silence, to face yourself with honesty, and to rebuild a life grounded in authenticity, courage, and hope. Episode chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Jay Prothero's Journey 04:14 The Power of Ice Baths and Breathwork 08:49 Hiding Behind a Smile: Jay's Struggles with Mental Health 17:35 The Impact of a Police Career on Mental Health 26:22 The Journey to Recovery: Jay's Path to Healing 35:13 Parenting Through Addiction: Jay's Experience with His Son 43:30 Living Authentically: Jay's Non-Negotiables for Happiness You can connect with Jay through: Instagram @freezeyourself_au @breathe_with_jay Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Join Ash on retreat in Bali in 2026! All the details can be found at https://www.ashbutterss.com/bali-retreat-2026. Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.