Bible Stories for Atheists

Previous version of this episode was sped up. This should be better. Revelation starts heating up with the Four Horsemen, the Seven Seals, and the 144,000. There's probably more to say. I could talk about how funny we are, but that would be vain. I could talk about how funny you are, but that would be pandering. Maybe we could just pretend I had more interesting things to say here. You know who wouldn't unleash the Seven Seals on humanity? Arthur Morgan. I think that makes him better than Jesus. Website - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.com YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@bibleatheists Website - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.com YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@bibleatheists

We finally dig into the book of Revelation! I'd say more but I'm posting this late and screw it I'm just getting this posted. Website - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.com YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@bibleatheists

In our exploration of the evolution of the end times through the bible we have breached the thin gossamer layer betwixt the testaments old and slightly less old. So we're talking about Jesus stuff again. What did Paul, who was writing decades before the first gospel was written, think was going to happen in the end times? And also, sure, what did the gospels say? And also, sure, what do we think about all of that? These are all extremely good questions that almost certainly will be answered by listening to this very week's episode. I'm not phoning in these descriptions. YOU ARE! Website - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.com YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@bibleatheists

Better late than never! Here's the rest of the book of Daniel in all it's "glory". Website - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.com YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@bibleatheists

We start the book of Daniel. A book full of meaningful insights into what it means to think of the mind of God... or some confusing bullshit that made people feel smart by buying a scroll instead of giving a hungry guy some food. Oh yeah, just the fact they bought the scroll that the bible is based on pisses me off now. This is how militant atheism starts! The writers of Daniel pretended to foretell the future. And Christians today pretend they were talking about people they weren't. That's it! Website - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.com YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@bibleatheists

Ok folks. We've said it before, but we really mean it this time, this is going to be a messed up one. We're covering the book of Ezekiel and it is NOT light reading. It is weird. It is violent. It is a little kinky. Website - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.com YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@bibleatheists

Happy Mother's day! To celebrate, we continue digging into the end times by going through the book of Isaiah. How does this book define the end times? There is probably more to say about this episode but it's not coming to me so here we are. By the way, we recorded these first few episodes a little while ago. We don't mention it but we are seeing your messages and comments welcoming us back. Thank you! Website - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.com YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@bibleatheists

We're back! And we're going through the bible books chronologically from when they were written to see how the concept of "THE END TIMES" evolves. Because, big surprise, the bible is very inconsistent with what "THE END TIMES" means. In this episode we cover the books of Amos, Hosea, and Micah and we try to figure out what "the day of the lord" is supposed to mean. Stay tuned every other Sunday for a new episode. Website - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.com YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@bibleatheists

What's up! We just wanted to check in for no particular reason whatsoever. Definitely doesn't have to do with the fist of christian nationalist fascism choking the puppy of democracy. Where do we go from here? What role, if any, does this show have in the discussion? Does Josh's voice give you the naughty tingles? All these questions and more will be asked and answered and promptly forgotten. Sources: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus_and_the_woman_taken_in_adultery Send us a text Support the show Website - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.com Reddit - https://www.reddit.com/r/bibleatheists YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@bibleatheists Donate - https://www.buymeacoffee.com/bsfa

Welcome to the season finale! Creation is over and it's all down hill from here. We find out that Abraham wasn't the best dad. At least until he gets his son laid! That's the best way to make up for the whole sacrifice thing. Thank you for listening! Hopefully you learned something, even if it was how much of dumbasses we are. We'll be back soon, eventually, sometime. Get registered to vote! https://register.rockthevote.com Send us a text Support the show Website - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.com Reddit - https://www.reddit.com/r/bibleatheists YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@bibleatheists Donate - https://www.buymeacoffee.com/bsfa

You think you have it hard? You think you have bad neighbors? You think you have family problems? Well, I'm Lot. A mild mannered sodomite that never bothered anyone. And I was a proud sodomite. I sought to unite sodomites in love and acceptance! To reject all the awful crap God told us to do to people. That's what us sodomites are known for. Radical love and acceptance of all. Until a couple angels from the Lord show up and everything went to hell. First my town suddenly developed a sex fueled rage aimed directly at my house, then my wife ghosted me! Next thing you know I'm kicked out with my two daughters. It's not easy being a single father of two. So sure, I drink some times. But I drink to cope. And, yes, I black out on occasion but I never let it get out of hand. And thankfully my daughters are old enough to take care of themselves and don't need me to always be the sober strong one. They're good girls after all. Maybe a little weird since their mom left and God killed everyone they knew including their boyfriends. But who wouldn't be messed up from that? I can't wait to one day read the scriptures myself and see my daughters memorialized as the pure angels they are. And hopefully they never take revenge on me for offering to throw them to a mob of rapists. As for me, I want this simple adage written on my tombstone to help others with their own grief: "Lot's had lots of loss in his life but learned leaning on laughter leads to loving living." Send us a text Support the show Website - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.com Reddit - https://www.reddit.com/r/bibleatheists YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@bibleatheists Donate - https://www.buymeacoffee.com/bsfa

Sorry, in a rush this week. You'll have to make up your own funny quips and pretend they're in this description. On this week's episode: - Tower of Babel - We meet Abram/Abraham - A big piece of evidence that Moses didn't write Genesis. - The War of the Nine Kings - And we read an email from friend of the show, Dwight For the flood story with the sources highlighted, check out this page: https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.com/resources/bible-history Send us a text Support the show Website - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.com Reddit - https://www.reddit.com/r/bibleatheists YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@bibleatheists Donate - https://www.buymeacoffee.com/bsfa

Have you given YOUR firstlings to the Lord? If you don't, your brother might and then where will you be? No regard from the Lord. How are you going to make it in this world without the Lord's regard? You'll end up stripping at Jezaballs for Chucky Cheese tokens! And we let the flood pour over us. Turns out there are two completely different flood stories in the bible and most people don't realize it. Speaking of which, you should check out this video for more Flood Facts (trademark). "The Pre-Biblical Origins of Noah's Flood" by ReligionForBreakfast https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qw13SadIPOs For the flood story with the sources highlighted, check out this page: https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.com/resources/bible-history Send us a text Support the show Website - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.com Reddit - https://www.reddit.com/r/bibleatheists YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@bibleatheists Donate - https://www.buymeacoffee.com/bsfa

In the beginning, we'll lay out the building blocks of our 6000 year old universe. And explain that hard, blue shell up there that gets dark at night when you can see the holes in it, or what "NASA" calls "stars". And we talk about the first people. The lab rats in this odd experiment gone horribly infallible. Turns out not knowing right and wrong leads to sinning. Now that we know that, we must permanently punish the lab rats and their descendants forever. That's science. Eve made his pull out game weak and here we are. And Linz just texted me that food is done so this description is too. Send us a text Support the show Website - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.com Reddit - https://www.reddit.com/r/bibleatheists YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@bibleatheists Donate - https://www.buymeacoffee.com/bsfa

New 5 episode series coming every Sunday starting August 4th. We'll be covering the first half of Genesis. Insert witty jokes here. Too much crap to do today to do it myself. Send us a text Support the show Website - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.com Reddit - https://www.reddit.com/r/bibleatheists YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@bibleatheists Donate - https://www.buymeacoffee.com/bsfa

Hey folks! For our episode today we're changing things up. We're going to be switching to a more "seasonal" model. The plan is we'll get a few episodes lined up around a theme and put them out weekly. So that's the plan, but you should still listen to the episode because we're really funny when we explain it. Like funnier than I was when I just explained it, which wasn't really funny at all. Also, we got a great message from a listener named Patience! "You're beautiful." - James Blunt Send us a text Support the show Website - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.com Reddit - https://www.reddit.com/r/bibleatheists YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@bibleatheists Donate - https://www.buymeacoffee.com/bsfa

This is a special episode with two special guests. Ministers Bendr Bones and Luis Cypher, co-heads of the Satanic Temple - West Michigan. Recently, they made news by having the AUDACITY to deliver the opening invocation at an Ottawa County board meeting. And when the Ottawa County board were forced to allow the invocation local Christians lost their damn minds. Invocation Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7kkBj0mnVM Overflow Room Video: https://twitter.com/leftofcentermi/status/1782911971936870781 https://thesatanictemple.com/ https://www.facebook.com/WestMichiganTST/ https://twitter.com/SatanicMichigan Send us a text Support the show Website - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.com Reddit - https://www.reddit.com/r/bibleatheists YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@bibleatheists Donate - https://www.buymeacoffee.com/bsfa

We read a selection of Psalms suggested by AI to figure out if this ancient book of songs holds up to the hype. It doesn't. Despite Josh's warnings that we might find the material repetitive and dull, we plunge ahead with open minds, only to discover that the Psalms are boring as Pshit. I don't have anything more to say about it. Why don't YOU have something to say about it?! Huh!? Send us a text Support the show Website - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.com Reddit - https://www.reddit.com/r/bibleatheists YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@bibleatheists Donate - https://www.buymeacoffee.com/bsfa

The kingdom of Israel splits into two separate nations after the death of King Solomon. His son Rehoboam ascends to the throne and when the people ask him to not be a dick like his dad. But his friends goad him into doubling down on his dickishness. He should have listened to Nancy Reagan and just said no to peer pressure! So Jeroboam comes back from Egypt to take control of the northern kingdom of Israel while Rehoboam maintains control of the southern kingdom of Judah (oh yeah, and Benjamin). And Jeroboam decides to make some golden calves. Why would he do that? Didn't he know golden calves are bad? Does he not read his scriptures? Or is there something else going on here? Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Is that like a medical condition? Are you giving off avian pheromones or something? You should get that checked out. Send us a text Support the show Website - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.com Reddit - https://www.reddit.com/r/bibleatheists YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@bibleatheists Donate - https://www.buymeacoffee.com/bsfa

Send us a text Support the show Website - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.com Reddit - https://www.reddit.com/r/bibleatheists YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@bibleatheists Donate - https://www.buymeacoffee.com/bsfa