Journals of a Love Addict Podcast

It can be easy to assume that therapists have it together in life and relationships; but when it comes to attachment--and love addiction--no one is immune. And because hearing from a therapist who 'gets it' can be very helpful for those of us in recovery, Jodi invited therapist and coach, Leah Hoffman, to the podcast to share her recent experience with the cycle of love addiction and what she's learned from it. Show notes and resources: Leah's website: coachingwithleah.com Music by JD Pendley Jodi's website: jodiwhiteonline.com Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.

One of the hard parts of recovery--and life--is having difficult conversations, especially those that come with a chance of discord, being seen as the 'bad guy', or simply feeling uncomfortable. When confronted with having hard conversations, it can seem 'easier' to avoid them...but also less functional, and avoiding can lead to resentment and feeling stuck. But there's good reason for the discomfort: In this episode of the podcast, Jodi talks about this with therapist and boundaries expert Juliane (Jules) Taylor Shore and about her new book, "Setting Boundaries That Stick" (you may remember Jules from EP31, "All About Boundaries"). Jules shares six steps to setting an external boundary, as well as the importance of a pause and paying attention to feelings; why hard conversations are so challenging; why we struggle with self-compassion, and why growth comes with grief. Show notes and resources: Information about Jules Taylor Shore and her instagram. Purchase "Setting Boundaries That Stick" EP31: All About Boundaries with Jules Taylor Shore Music by JD Pendley Jodi's website: jodiwhiteonline.com Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.

It's hard to be still sometimes, especially in a culture that constantly tells you to get moving, to achieve, to perform--plus being still often comes with all the feelings...and feeling our feelings can be hard, too. In this episode Jodi talks about a few of the hard parts of recovery, including difficult conversations, how she views past shameful experiences, and the reality of joy in recovery. Show notes and resources: Information about Emily Nagoski The Principles of Pleasure on Netflix (trailer) The Robcast episode referenced (#365) Danielle Laporte Music by JD Pendley Jodi's website: jodiwhiteonline.com Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.

Love addiction comes with a set of symptoms leading to a pattern of dysfunctional relationships; whether we tend to be more anxious or more avoidant (or both), we may find ourselves in the push/pull of addictive relationships more than once. Then, after each relationship we say "I'll never do that again", fully intending to make some changes, but... Even if we enter love addiction recovery and address the symptoms, we may still find that we're unknowingly driven by outdated message telling us who we're supposed to be and how we're supposed to live our lives. Why? Because of inherited cultural beliefs that infiltrate our decision-making. In this episode Jodi discusses these cultural beliefs--how they fuel love addiction and can meddle with life in recovery, too. She also reviews the symptoms of codependence and love addiction, and talks about the impact that seemingly benign labels can have on kids. Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Jodi's website: jodiwhiteonline.com References: Facing Codependence and Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody; Ready to Heal by Kelly McDaniel Album mentioned: Tragic Kingdom by No Doubt Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.

The term 'love addiction' is often referred to in the context of romantic relationships, but did you know that the symptoms can apply to platonic relationships, too? In this episode, Jodi talks about her history with undervaluing herself in friendships and overlooking red flags in order to belong and be the "best friend". She's joined by her friend Brooke (from "A Breakup Story"), to discuss the complexity of female friendships past and present. Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Jodi's website: jodiwhiteonline.com NYT article: What To Do If A Friend Ghosts You by Catherine Pearson Books referenced: Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody and Mother Hunger by Kelly McDaniel Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.

Have you ever needed to block someone? Maybe you ended a relationship and no longer wanted to see their social media activity, or maybe you found yourself needing to have a hard boundary with a former friend. In today's world, considering that most of us are accessible on multiple platforms, it's not uncommon to block another person...BUT, that doesn't mean it's always easy to do (for a number of reasons). Blocking is an important topic, so Jodi invited trauma therapist, Leah Aguierre--someone who talks openly about the subject on social media--to join her for a conversation. On this episode Jodi and Leah cover why we struggle with the idea of blocking, four reasons why blocking can be helpful in certain situations, and they share personal experiences with blocking. Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley You can learn more about Leah here leahaguierrelcsw.com and on Instagram @leahaguirrelcsw Jodi's website: jodiwhiteonline.com Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.

You may have heard about the importance of your 'why'--that thing that motivates you and provides a sense of purpose in life and work. But what if that concept was broken down even further, into three parts that took you deeper into that 'why'? Nicole Lewis-Keeber (therapist, coach & author) has done just that, and she talks with Jodi in this episode of the podcast about The Three Whys. Jodi also shares an early experience that took her away from her Why, and a little about the process of getting back to it. Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Learn more about Nicole and download her book, "The Three Whys", here. Jodi mentions this book by Stephen Cope. Follow Jodi on Instagram @jodiwhite_ Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.

If you're a listener of the podcast, then you've heard Jodi talk about 'that therapist'--the one she worked with in 2016, who taught her about love addiction, supported her through withrawal, and played a vital role in her in early recovery. That therapist is Dr. Lara Dye, a Pia Mellody-trained psychologist specializing in love & sex addiction, limerence--and who has personal experience with love addiction recovery. And, because she was such an important part of Jodi's recovery journey, she invited Dr. Dye to talk with her for this episode of the podcast. Music by JD Pendley

What is intimacy? If you Google the term you might find varying--yet similar--definitions...but what does it mean to YOU? In this episode, Kelly McDaniel (author of "Ready to Heal" and "Mother Hunger") is back to talk with Jodi regarding what intimacy really is, and the reason why in love addiction--although we might crave closeness--we struggle to tolerate authentic intimacy. Music by JD Pendley

Have you seen the Hulu documentary, "Pretty Baby: Brooke Shields"? It paints a powerful portrait of Brooke's sexualization as a child actor, and brings attention to the waters in which young women swim from a young age. In this docuseries, Brooke Shields discusses the highs and lows of her career, and provides insight into the complex relationship with her mother. On this episode of the podcast, Jodi is joined by her friend, Brooke, to discuss "Pretty Baby" through a lens of Mother Hunger (because we can't understand love addiction without talking about Mother Hunger). Even if you haven't watched the documentary, you'll get something out of this one. Music by JD Pendley https://www.journalsofaloveaddict.com/

In love addiction we often feel like we're in love, but is it really love? And what is genuine love, anyway? In this episode, Jodi discusses the concept of cathexis--the thing we often confuse with genuine love--and the role it played in her love addiction. She also shares a recent painful experience that forced her to slow down in order to examine (and accept) reality, and to embrace the grief that came with all of it. Music by JD Pendley

Do you ever feel like what you're doing in the world isn't aligned with who you are? Like maybe you're going through the motions of 'supposed to' instead of living from your true purpose? If so, you're not alone... In this episode Jodi talks with Becky Vollmer about her new book, "You Are Not Stuck: How Soul-Guided Choices Transform Fear Into Freedom" which provides relatable steps for getting back to authenticity. They also discuss their similar experiences with first careers; the importance of knowing what we do and don't value; and how yoga can help us tap into our True Self. Music by JD Pendley

When we're enmeshed with a parent we might feel responsible for taking care of them emotionally, and guilty if we don't do what they expect of us. And while enmeshment is often uncomfortable, it may also come with feeling special and can be very challenging to recognize and overcome. In this episode, Jodi talks with Dr. Kenneth Adams, therapist and author of "When He's Married to Mom", about mother-enmeshed men: What is childhood like for them? What are their adult relationships like? And how to recover from enmeshment and have functional adult relationships (with both partners and parents). Music by JD Pendley

Are you familiar with the concept of assigned family roles--roles assigned in childhood that are either falsely empowering or disempowering? Maybe you've heard of The Hero, The Lost Child, or The Scapegoat? But what does all of this mean? In this episode, Jodi discusses The Hero and Lost Child, and how these roles contribute to love avoidance or addiction. And she talks with London-based coach, Mary Toolan, regarding the role known as the toxic family's dustbin: The Scapegoat. Music by JD Pendley

In love addiction recovery, we focus a lot on developmental trauma and what took place in our family of origin (because looking at our history is important). But there's something else that plays a role in love addiction: Cultural messaging. In this episode, Jodi's friend, Brooke, joins her to talk about the recent Victoria's Secret documentary; and how the company's marketing in the early 2000s led to confusing messages about beauty, and furthered the cultural double bind women experience. Jodi and Brooke also share personal experiences about sexual harassment, body insecurity, and how uncomfortable it is to talk about 'this stuff'. Music by JD Pendley

There are books and podcasts about love addiction, and people talk on social media about it--but there aren't many movies that address the topic... That's why Charlene deGuzman's film, Unlovable, is so unique: She not only tells her story, but she calls love addiction what it is. In this episode Jodi talks with Charlene about her personal experience with love addiction and recovery, as well as what she's learned about herself and how recovery has changed her life. Music by JD Pendley

We hear a lot about "having boundaries" or "setting boundaries" or "respecting boundaries"....but what does any of this really mean? To answer this question, Jodi invited trauma therapist and boundaries expert, Jules Taylor Shore, to talk all about boundaries. Jules takes this complex topic and explains it in a user-friendly way, so we can better understand ourselves and others. Music by JD Pendley

Love addiction gets messy. It's full of intensity, shame, and regression that leads us to behave regretfully--or as Jodi says, 'like a tornado of sticks and poo'. In this episode, Jodi celebrates six years in recovery by revisiting Pia Mellody's symptoms of love addiction; and by providing examples of how these symptoms looked for her during nearly three decades of addicted relationships. Music by JD Pendley

What does it mean to 'feel stuck'? And, what exactly IS a feeling, anyway? In this episode, Jodi talks with Britt Frank--therapist and author of "The Science of Stuck: Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward"--about the definition of stuck; the difference between feelings, emotions, and thoughts; fantasy and fairy tales. Britt also shares her experience with addiction and recovery, as well as her thoughts on what keeps us stuck in our love addiction. Music by JD Pendley

If you listen to the podcast you've likely heard Jodi talk about Mother Hunger and the role it plays in love addiciton. But there's an extreme form of this attachment injury: Third Degree Mother Hunger--which happens when a daughter grows-up frightened of her mother. For this episode, Jodi invited fellow Mother Hunger facilitator and therapist, Jennifer Acker, to share her personal Third Degree Mother Hunger story. Music by JD Pendley