Grieving, Growing, & Glowing with Gisela (and Friends)

The next stage of my life has required me to do a lot of grieving. This episode is talking about the transition and the thoughts that have been coming up for me in regard to what is coming. A lot of it is being scared of the unknown but super excited for new experiences, new places, new friendships, new relationships, new everything. Realizing it is essential to take it with a grain of salt, but welcoming everything with open arms. The thought of the transition, moving on, moving away, and doing something new feels hard and difficult but I know it is something that is impossible. I wanted to share with you all just where I have been, where my mind is, where my heart is. This next step of my life feels so hard but also so essential to my growth and the person I am destined to be. The hard part is letting go. The grieving. But I am so excited about what is coming. To be a Dominican girl (an Afro-Latina) from Harlem about to take on the world of Alabama and show them how a Harlem girl does it. To Season 2. To the Gisela Blues. To the next stage. To Grieve the old and welcome the new. To Dr. Rosa in the making. To Grieving, Growing, and Glowing with Gisela (and Friends). Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for checking in. Thank you for the love on this accomplishment but this next stage. Thank you for rocking with me. 🦋💐💖Follow @gggwithgisela on Instagram to stay updated!

In honor of papi's 65th birthday, I decided to talk about our relationship and what that looked like for me. I cried a lot in this episode because it was me expressing my thoughts and feelings about our father-daughter relationship. I talk about the absent parent, questioning how can I miss someone who was not even present. It is hard. This was hard. But it was important for me to talk about something that shapes a huge part of who I am and who I am working towards becoming, but also the trauma and heavy stuff that comes with working towards that and growing up. My relationship with my father was nothing that I wanted it to be, but I tried. I forgot to mention that I was always told to look for my father even when I felt as a child that was not my responsibility. Talking about our relationship can sometimes be really hard for me because I want to remember more of the good than the bad. I don't blame my father for how he showed up in my life, maybe he could not be the parent I wanted him to be. But I am grateful for the time that we spent, the love he was able to give me, and how much he reminded me that he loved me. Although there are parts of our relationship that caused trauma for me, I am overcoming and growing through those things. I love him because he is my dad. He is a part of the reason I exist today, and my mom always made sure to remind me of that. This episode is rough and emotional but I hope it can also be loving. To papi's 65th birthday, I wish you were here. I wish I could hear your voice one last time. I wish things were different. To our un-complete puzzle with so many missing pieces, I love you and I miss you. Felicidades mi angel. To hard conversations about our parents + our relationships with them. And the hard truth that comes with accepting who they are and the harm they have caused. To hard conversations about our parents who are no longer here. To our relationships with our parents that are un-complete puzzles with many missing pieces. To push through and involve and work on these relationships, if we feel this is something we want to do. To papi's 65th birthday, te amo viejito. To Grieving, Growing, and Glowing with Gisela (and Friends). Thank you for the love. Thank you for your support. I feel loved and supported always. Follow @gggwithgisela on Instagram to stay updated! ❤️

This episode is part two AND three, of the mini-series I started with Jay. We talk about what it is like to grieve in both relationships and friendships even when those people are still here but those experiences/moments in our life die. How they made us feel, the parts that hurt, and whether are we willing to give those relationships/friendships a second chance. We went into this episode not so sure we wanted to talk or mention much about relationships because we both are not grieving relationships at this very moment in our lives. Briefly mentioning when we were grieving those relationships and how that felt. The heartache. The anxiety. The fear that came up with someone just waking up one day and just saying they have no feelings and having to respect those wishes despite not agreeing. We also took the time to just sit and think about how much those relationships changed our way of thinking in regard to our future relationships and even friendships. We jumped into talking about friendships that have fallen off and a lot of it is never any bad blood but just growing apart. Friendships we thought were gonna last forever just didn't land where we wanted them to. But acknowledging and accepting that, that is life. We grow apart and it doesn't mean, I don't have love or care for you just we got older. Maybe our lifestyles and our beliefs just changed. No longer fearful of letting people go. No longer fearful of leaving people where they are at. Throughout this episode, we talked about dream friendships and relationships. To Grieving Relationships + Friendships no matter how hard it can be. You can miss moments and experiences but that doesn't necessarily mean you have to reconvene with anyone. You are allowed to love people from afar. To Episode 9, Thank you, Jay. Thank you for returning to do this with me. Thank you for being a part of this with me. And to making new friends and having new relationships in the future. (dm him he wants to be friends @bootmanjay) To Grieving, Growing, and Glowing with Gisela (and Friends). Thank you for the love. Thank you for your support. I feel loved and supported always. Follow @gggwithgisela on Instagram to stay updated! 🪴🌱🌞 ❤️

HIIIIIIIII...it has been quite a while (almost two months). This episode is dedicated to what my thought process has been like over this period of time. I try to be as honest as possible about moments and things that have changed me from being in my own world and enjoying my solitude. Some days are better than others, some days are harder than others. Bad days, moments, and experiences do not mean I have a bad life. Reminding myself and y'all that we are constantly evolving and changing and there is nothing wrong with that. Holiday griefs. Friendships. I want to emphasize the part where I talk about my relationship with my mom, communicating, expressing my emotions, and not holding them in. Creating and setting those boundaries. Not owing anyone anything. Even working on my delivery when speaking to people because that is also very important. I try to just say what has been on my mind these last few weeks and the growth I have seen in myself. To the sad and bad days. To taking care of YOU and YOUR needs. To constantly changing and evolving. To Growth. To Grieving, Growing, and Glowing with Gisela (and Friends). Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for checking-in. Thank you for the love, always. Follow @gggwithgisela on Instagram to stay updated! 🪴🌱🌞🧡🦋💐

This episode is the Gisela blues part 3, I wanted to talk about what it meant for me to reach 22, to be 22. To everything I have accomplished before 22. To all the things that are yet to come. To the people in my life who inspire me and are chasing their dreams and do everything they said they wanted to do. I honestly felt this episode was me rambling and saying a whole lotta nothing but I felt myself emphasizing celebrating all of our accomplishments whether big or small. Especially when we've grown to brush them off and rush into the next goal or thing in our lives. It took being in my 6th year of therapy to understand and celebrate everything in my life. I talk a lot of reaching our potentials and doing things that are out of our comfort zone. We love comfortability because we feel safe. But sometimes comfortability does not help us grow or experience new things. In order to reach where we wanna be, we have to leave/give up some things and sometimes that in itself is just fear. Those uncomfortable or sad feelings we feel allow us to experience and see life differently. Stop worrying about step 1000 when you are only at step 10. Take it day by day but you'll figure things out when you get there. Please speak highly of yourself. Celebrate ALL your accomplishments. BIG OR SMALL. (Whatever that means to you). To episode 7, the Gisela blues part 3. Cheers to 22. Cheers to celebrating our accomplishments, Cheers to living. To Grieving, Growing, and Glowing with Gisela (and Friends. Thank you for all the birthday love.Thank you for all the love and support. in general. It means the world. Follow @gggwithgisela on Instagram to stay updated! 🎂🕸️🍄🌹❤️

This episode is with someone I consider one of my best friends, hold close to my heart, is very important to me, has watched me grow tremendously, smokes A LOT of weed, is funny, a great cook, and super loving. This someone is Jayson aka Jay. This episode is about Grieving Death in our lives and what that has looked liked, shaped us, made us feel, etc. We went into this episode talking about the deaths that have occurred in our families and just going into detail about what those moments felt like, the process of grieving and how we were grieving their deaths then and now as we have got older and have navigated death and grief. We also took the time to just sit and thinking about how much those deaths have shaped us and changed our lives and have made us into the people we are today, Because without those deaths, we probably would not be where we are today. We answered questions about what we wish we could say to them or questions they might have for us and how we turned out. As we talked through that, we decided to talk about death and the numb and normalized people are to death because of how much death we have been seen on the media over the course of time and how desensitized people are at this point. We talked about our own deaths and how we would want people to grieve/celebrate us and what our deaths would be like and how we want to die. Even though a lot of it can sound scary or cold but death is inevitable thing that we must face, and as humans/people we simply fear the unknown and the fear of not being in control so death sounds scary. Throughout this episode some tears were shed but we got the chance to grow closer and talk about Grieving Death. Originally we wanted to talk about Grieving Death, Relationships and Friendships but decided to make it a 3 part series because of how much we poured into the just Death and did not want to rush the rest. So stay tuned for Grieving Relationships (Part 2) and Grieving Friendships (Part 3). To Grieving Death no matter how hard it can be, no matter how much time has passed those feelings are all valid and you deserve to grieve. To Episode 6, Thank you Jay. Thank you for being a part of this with me. Thank you for always supporting me. Thank you for always wanting to talk about the hard things and asking me those tough ass questions I avoid so I don't cry. Thank you for being you. To my longest episode yet!!!!! To Grieving, Growing, and Glowing with Gisela (and Friends). Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for the messages. Thank you for the love. Thank you for the support. I feel loved and supported always. Thank y'all for rocking with me. Follow @gggwithgisela on Instagram to stay updated! 💐🌺🌻🌹🪴🌱🌞 May all our loved ones rest easy. We love and miss you dearly. ❤️

This episode is the Gisela blues part 2, I wanted to make this a little series because I felt the first part was me being in my own head and this headspace where I was super deep in my thoughts and feelings about what has happened and the changes occurring in my life that I was not ready for. That no one ever talked to me about such as post-grad depression of some sort or even this idea of selfish/selfless in terms of staying behind with family or chasing your dreams. And in this episode, I am in a total different headspace than I was before, although still navigating post-grad this time it feels better to have accepted that one thing in my life was officially complete and over, and it is time to move on and close that chapter and get ready for the next one. Even when it feels super hard to let go. This doesn't mean I do not have my days where things hit harder than others. But I'm allowing myself to feel those feelings, crying about it, being sad, angry, all those emotions and then letting them pass by. Feeling and letting go. Throughout, the episode I emphasize a lot on letting go and growing and leaving people where they are at and I know how hard that is and can be but it is possible. Choosing yourself is one of the best things you can ever do. I know how fucking hard that is. Baby steps. Boundaries. Space. If you decide to paint on everyone else's canvas, now you have no more paint for you or your canvas. It is ok to choose you. And the people who really rock with you, will always be there especially when you choose you. Some of them will probably look at you and say 'finally.' To episode 5, the Gisela blues part 2. Cheers to choosing yourself. Pour into your own cup. Paint your picture. To Grieving, Growing, and Glowing with Gisela (and Friends). Thank you for believing in me + my vision. Thank you for all the love and support. It means the world. Follow @gggwithgisela on Instagram to stay updated! 🪴💐🌻🌞

This episode is alongside someone I hold close to my heart, met my senior year of college, she's 19, a sophomore in college, a babysitter, a dancer, and someone who has started tapping into her creative side and wanting to share the world through her lens with photography. This someone is Jasmine! This episode is about Growth. Growing. Slow. Fast. Steady. Eager. Ease. How slow it can feel, how fast, how sometimes it feels super steady and how one can feel eager to grow and be where they are destined to be. We went into this talking about growth in our lives and how we have evolved or grown as people throughout the years. What we were like and what we are like now. The steps to get there. The ups-downs. The obstacles. Growing up and setting boundaries. Removing ourselves from situations and environments that are stopping us from growing. And understanding that in order to grow we need to create these safer and healthier environments for ourselves. Growth is growth. And there is so many different types of growth in our lives. Cheers to growing and growth. That shit is hard. To Episode 4, Thank you Jasmine. Thank you for taking the time to be apart of my little project with me, believing in me, and always supporting everything I put out and everything I want to do. It means the world to me. You are growing everyday even it does not feel like it. Growth is growth no matter how small or big. .To Grieving, Growing, and Glowing with Gisela (and Friends). Thank you for believing in me + my vision. Follow @gggwithgisela on Instagram to stay updated! 🪴💐🌻🌞 Join the giveaway! Don't forget to check out Jasmine's photography page on Instagram @jasinthelab, follow and show her some love!!! AND HAPPY SPOOKY SZN! (Cause growing is scary)

This episode is alongside my not so lil cousin Isabel, who's 16, a junior in high school and navigating the world as a teenage girl. This episode is about Moms. Mami. Tia, My mom. Her mom. When we first recorded it, we went into it with the topic someone suggested of 'Dominican moms and their old school mentality' until we realized a lot of Black + Latinx moms are exactly the same. We talked about what it was like growing up in a household with old school mentalities and their old school ways of catering to men especially the men in our families. Keeping up with the same mentality and ways that were used to raised them, to raise us. (Although that was not going to work). Not being allowed to have the space to do what we wanted/want to because we are girls/women. Our siblings aka our brothers being treated different and most definitely better because they were boys/men. We talked about their patriarchal, misogynist, sexist ways of thinking and raising us. The attachment to one's hair. This episode is dedicated to old school moms everywhere. We heard you. But we ain't following. There's also a lot of frustration in this episode, but this is the perfect space to let it out and finally release everything that has been bottled up. Cheers to breaking generational curses, being our own people, standing up for ourselves, and for once making our own decisions. To Mami and Tia, (y todos las mujeres en nuestra vida) estamos muy agradecidas de todo lo que ustedes han hecho por nosotras. Aunque no estamos deacuerdo de sus maneras viejas de tratando de educarnos. Las amamos como quiera. Y vamos hacer lo que nos da la maldita gana. To Episode 3, Thank you Isabel. Thank you for being apart of this with me. I am honored to have recorded this alongside you. You are magical. To Grieving, Growing, and Glowing with Gisela (and Friends). Thank you for believing in me + my project + my vision. Follow @gggwithgisela on Instagram to stay updated! 🌱🌻🪴💐🌼

In honor of his 30th birthday, I decided to release the first EVER episode I recorded alongside someone. This someone happens to be my older brother, Briant. This episode was a conversation of all sorts where I asked him questions about growing up in NYC, being raised by two parents to then one parent, trauma, school experiences, the block experiences, etc. I wanted this episode to be/feel like a conversation for us, by us, And it was. We discussed things we'd never really talked to each other about and how it has hurt or transformed us. I was able to see a different side of him while recording this and got to know more about him and who he is and why he does what he does. Because we are 8 years apart, I don't have childhood moments or memories of us that I can say are my favorite. But this conversation was definitely one. (Although, I fought with myself and did not want to release this episode because of how trash the audio was. I realized this episode was more authentic and genuine than when we tried again. And showing y'all the rawness and the realness of technical difficulties). To Grieving, Growing, and Glowing with your older sibling. I think this is exactly how I want the flow of my other episodes with people featured on it, FOR US BY US. Every single time. Except with better audio. Again, thank y'all for all the love + support. It means the absolute world to me. Thank you for believing in me and my lil project. To Grieving, Growing, and Glowing with Gisela (and Friends). Follow @gggwithgisela on Instagram to stay updated! Thank y'all for rocking with me. 🌱🌻🌹🪴💐🌼 To Episode 2, Happy 30th birthday Briant! Thank you. For all that you do and have done. I love you. ❤️

This first episode happens to be way different than what I imagined. (Things change, plans change). Because I had been in such a different headspace and super deep in my thoughts and feelings, I felt like this episode needed to be out first. I found myself wanting to talk about my thought process and feelings these last couple months more specifically after graduating college. Part of it was thinking about it as post-grad depression and to be honest it might be. It looks different on all of us. The uncertainty, Nothing set in stone. Wondering. Exploring. Figuring things out. Taking up space. Staying in a place out of comfortability. Self-care. This episode was dedicated to this idea of not knowing what is to come and somehow having to be okay with that. Trusting one-self and the universe. I also feel like this episode allowed me to remove this mask..this superhero cape I have been wearing for days...really years. I finally have allowed myself to just be. I think. (I know many of y'all can relate). To this episode of Grieving. Thank you so much for supporting + believing + loving me. I appreciate every single one of you. I am so grateful. Cheers to Grieving, Growing, and Glowing with Gisela (and Friends). Stay tuned for many more episodes. Follow @gggwithgisela on Instagram! 🌻🌹🌸🌼🪴💐💓

This is just the beginning, an intro, a preamble, whatever we, you, want to call it. Introducing the purpose and reasoning behind this podcast and a little bit about myself. I even decided to explain why I chose to call it 'Grieving, Growing, & Glowing.' To my podcast Grieving, Growing, and Glowing with Gisela (and Friends). I can’t wait to share this with y’all + have amazing features and just a space of conversation, vulnerability, uncomfortable talks, tears, laughs, and love. A girl from Harlem just wanna talk, talk with her Friends. Thank you for supporting me and believing in me! Follow @gggwithgisela on Instagram for updates. Stay tuned. 🫶🏽