The Podcast At Dawn's House

OMG, Dawn’s gotta beware! There’s a snake boy loose in San Francisco! Also, the local kids are manipulating the hell out of the babysitters, and we’re here for it. Meanwhile, Stacey is having glamorous adventures and nobody cares. On today’s agenda: Bruce Stringbean; Kristy’s intervention consultancy; a frankly unreasonable amount of babysitting; extremely convincing California dialect; flagrant Australia erasure; a kipper in the ear; plausible bean deniability; an impressive commitment to collage; cinema recommendations with Karen’s nine-year-old; we have Opinions about Mansfield Park. Our theme song is ‘The Incredible Shrinking Larry’ by Matt Oakley and ‘Big Band Jingle A’ is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive. If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, drop us an email, or come say hi on Instagram! We also have a ko-fi and we're real self-conscious about it!

OMG, there’s a genius in Stoneybrook and it’s not Janine! Janine WISHES she was as talented as this kid. Meanwhile, we experimet with a pivot to audio drama. On today’s agenda: mandatory Disneyworld representation; unspeakable crimes against God and nature; Chekhov’s Toupee; Karen’s son makes Esther insecure; leave Mckenzie Clarke alone; Alan Gray surprises and delights us; Uncle Andy’s Tar Machine; Claudia fails third-grade fox biology; an infestation of art pseuds; crosswords as a spectator sport; nobody needs to know more than one (1) cricket player. Our theme song is ‘The Incredible Shrinking Larry’ by Matt Oakley and ‘Big Band Jingle A’ is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive. If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, drop us an email, or come say hi on Instagram! We also have a ko-fi and we're real self-conscious about it!

OMG, Jessi’s got a wish! Because this is an Ann book, everyone’s wishes are heavily Disneyworld-focused. Ann also bravely raises some tough questions about tragic childhood illnesses, and then less bravely proceeds to answer exactly none of them. Meanwhile, we brainstorm activities for Aoife’s funeral and raise much-needed awareness of Simian Foamy Virus. On today’s agenda: Mal and Jessi read a whole new genre of book; NEW ENGLAND INTENSIFIES; Jordan Peterson’s Sexism Corner; a two-phew Chapter 2; Stoneybrook’s main industry takes a severe hit; popcorn and caviar, the breakfast of champions; Charlotte and Becca expand their vocabularies; Karen Brewer creates life and then hastily uncreates it; ignorance as praxis; eye tests, juggling and Stations of the Cross. Our theme song is ‘The Incredible Shrinking Larry’ by Matt Oakley and ‘Big Band Jingle A’ is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive. If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Tumblr or Instagram! We also have a ko-fi and we're real self-conscious about it!

OMG, Mallory’s on strike! We were very excited at the title of this one but it turned out to be less about labour activism and more about time management skills. And the value of airing your familial grievances in a thinly-veiled tell-all memoir. On today’s agenda: lawnmower-based punishments; grief counselling for mass extinction events; feels about eels; the Stoneybrook adults have the least convincing cover story yet; ACHAB; a terrible cocaine mishap; the triumphant return of Ridiculous Baby Name Of The Week; union-busting with scab children; crimes against the family photo album; the prisoner’s dilemma model of babysitting. Our theme song is ‘The Incredible Shrinking Larry’ by Matt Oakley and ‘Big Band Jingle A’ is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive. If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Tumblr or Instagram! We also have a ko-fi and we're real self-conscious about it!

OMG, Stacey’s accused of being a jewel thief! And more importantly, this leads to financial problems for Claudia and she’s out for revenge! Meanwhile, the junior podcaster attempts to eat an entire box of staples. On today’s agenda: Stacey cleans house; spicy Pepsi; digestive system DLC; the Ozymandias of footwear; a distressing scenario involving chicken livers; Karen sets the record straight; obstacles to horse ownership; shoe size trauma; important worldbuilding continuity; definitely offal. Our theme song is ‘The Incredible Shrinking Larry’ by Matt Oakley and ‘Big Band Jingle A’ is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive. If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram! We also have a ko-fi and we're real self-conscious about it!

OMG, Mary Anne wants Logan back! More importantly, though, she wants an A on her group project and nobody is going to get in the way of that. Not Logan, not Cokie, not a particularly exhausting B-plot. On today’s agenda: an unexpected Pete Black redemption arc; Karen has not forgiven Kerry Bruno; Hot Dog Laws; a very specific concept of romance; signs your date is not going well; authentic cat shenanigans; Mary Anne’s Bump of Wistfulness; a fish fountain without a bicycle; disgraceful Toilet Monster denialism; the seductive power of five pounds of candy; urgent priorities for HSE reform; diversity in monster representation; a romantic getaway to Brick Township; absolutely too much manifesting; Logan enters his rake era. Our theme song is ‘The Incredible Shrinking Larry’ by Matt Oakley and ‘Big Band Jingle A’ is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive. If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram! We also have a ko-fi and we're real self-conscious about it!

OMG, there’s a Baby Parade! Kristy and the gang grapple with the age-old question “What if illegal daycare, but on a poorly-conceived parade float?" It's a difficult one to answer, because Ann categorically does not know what a float is. Meanwhile, we have an idea for a TV procedural that is going to make us all extremely rich. On today’s agenda: Scrabble trauma; fun with asbestos; any number of babies can be too many babies; new frontiers in AI art; Claudia learns to weld; a bold editorial stance on pipe types; glamorous uses for leftover meatloaf; situations that are not enhanced by a cat; none of us can be invited anywhere; a sick burn on the memory of Mimi; Slim Peabody entertains Watson and only Watson; Charlie has a cathartic afternoon at the rubbish dump. Our theme song is ‘The Incredible Shrinking Larry’ by Matt Oakley and ‘Big Band Jingle A’ is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive. If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram! We also have a ko-fi and we're real self-conscious about it!

OMG, the girls are going to New York! Again! There's Edwardian ghost children, adaptogen cannoli, and an assortment of generic bystanders. Meanwhile, we have some dating advice for the many teens who presumably listen to this show. On today’s agenda: teenage mutant ninja cockroaches; Juilliard Junior High; the Jack Reacher movie casting we all need; the symbolism of roach motels; Mary Anne whiffs her perception check; Karen’s thoughts on modern art; Ann almost discusses the Forbidden Topic; doorman distraction techniques; the cow incident; passive-aggressive fortune cookie shenanigans; Turner Classic Movies and chill; tragic scene of lower-middle-classness. Our theme song is ‘The Incredible Shrinking Larry’ by Matt Oakley and ‘Big Band Jingle A’ is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive. If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram! We also have a ko-fi and we're real self-conscious about it!

OMG, Dawn’s having a big sleepover! Unfortunately, the sleepover itself is the only part of the book that didn’t make us cringe violently. Well, that and the stegosaurus rap. On today’s agenda: we are thirsty for Watson and cancelling Richard; a tragic lack of Lusk merch; Mrs Rodowski has no shame; Ann doesn’t believe in research and we don’t believe in the Colts; hot vegans in your area; Charlotte Johansson’s trademark wisdom; a U-haul full of emergency caviar; a religious souvenir face-off; the four elementary teachers of the apocalypse; can collection life hacks; Goober and the Flugelmeisters; good dogs that do bad things; the slowest news week ever. Our theme song is ‘The Incredible Shrinking Larry’ by Matt Oakley and ‘Big Band Jingle A’ is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive. If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram! We also have a ko-fi and we're real self-conscious about it!

OMG, Stacey’s finally having an emergency! It’s the pancreatic drama we’ve spent so long waiting for, and we’re all very excited. Also, Charlotte Johansson has every disease in the world, and it’s Mrs McGill’s fault. On today’s agenda: Funko Pop Roadshow; celebrity crusts; the world’s most depressing train trip; a deep dive into 1990s nursing fashion; Karen airs a long-standing grievance; a delightful new word; a deeply upsetting new word; our sickest burn on Starlight Express to date; cutting-edge medical technology; charley horse reminiscences; Laine goes gift shopping; fudge embezzlement; the reverse trolley problem. Our theme song is ‘The Incredible Shrinking Larry’ by Matt Oakley and ‘Big Band Jingle A’ is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive. If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram! We also have a ko-fi and we're real self-conscious about it!

Hold your horses, folks, the Saddle Club are visiting a dude ranch in West Dakota! Things get real problematic real fast, everyone eats a lot of steak, and there’s a blessed lack of romance. Oh, and they cause a death or whatever. On today’s itinerary: we issue a much-needed apology; essential cow terminology; the manliest sundae possible; dying a dude’s death; some overwhelming rhinophobia; Stevie hijacks a dog funeral; the junior podcaster yells at a boat; tfw you realise you’re not a dude any more, ten times in the space of a week; a salute to a Dublin institution; we fail to learn anything about pommels; gifts you should not bring to a motherless calf; things that are vaguely conical; grudging respect for DAYS; Aoife does some estate planning. Today’s musical selections were “Saloon Spitoon” and “Back On The Wagon” by John Bartmann on the Free Music Archive. If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram! We also have a ko-fi and we're real self-conscious about it!

OMG, Logan suuuuucks! He’s suddenly performing traditional masculinity and nobody is here for it, except for his hot cousin Olivia. Jenny Prezzioso is in a bad mood. We have a lot of opinions about mashed potatoes. On today’s agenda: a basket of cold tongue; Babysitters’ Agency bullshit; Mary Anne gets hygge-blocked; the babysitters try to make “acute” happen; the incredible forbearance of the Bruno family; #notallBrontës; Karen Brewer’s marital woes; five nights that shattered a nation; the podcast at our dads’ house; a tragic tuba mishap; Kristy kills the vibe and we cherish her for it; things you should not do to a pregnant woman; five pounds of romance; we figure out whose fault this all is. Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley & "Big Band Jingle A" is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive. If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram! We also have a ko-fi and we're real self-conscious about it!

OMG, Claudia got an A on a test and now everyone thinks she cheated! Well, by ‘everyone’ we mean her teacher, her parents, and Mary Anne, who is just the WORST in this one. Meanwhile, the Pikes are trapped in a hell of their own making, and we’re trapped in a hell of Jared Mullray’s making. On today’s agenda: a bijou spreader event; public sector trophy wives; we all temporarily forget what a kaiju actually is; defeating the far-right with Aoife’s face; baseballery gone wrong; taco-based interrogation techniques; foam-football-based intimidation techniques; ill-considered neurolinguistic programming techniques; the Traumatic Jägermeister Incident; wildly implausible locker backstories; adorable baby noises from the junior podcaster; appropriate uses of gaslighting; everyone’s doing Crimewatch; extrusion processes all the way down; heterosexual loser talk. Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley & "Big Band Jingle A" is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive. If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram! We also have a ko-fi and we're real self-conscious about it!

OMG, Mallory’s dad lost his job! The family makes minor economies for two weeks, he becomes a degenerate in casual clothes for a day or two, and then everything is fine again and they don’t even have to sell their ten-seater boat. PHEW. Meanwhile, Amanda Delaney has tragic wealth-related problems, and we are joined by a taciturn but lovable guest. On today’s agenda: Aoife pulls off the ultimate BSC tribute; the text is compromised and we are not OK; Santa brings a depressing surprise; preteen murder ballads; workplace lingerie giveaways; intersectional school bullies; Mallory tries valiantly to make dibble happen; cinnamon allergy beauty hacks; the Drag Race to Tumblr slang pipeline; Mrs Pike becomes a big deal on Arpanet; a delicious limp salad; the Delaneys are too fancy for water safety; the true meaning of silly-billy-goo-goo; someone or other is a gobshite; Angie the tiny Olympian; the terrifying spectre of househusbandry; pizzaburger economics; eating oysters like a Homo Habilis; wish fulfilment monologues; Aunt Cecelia hits the mall. Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley & "Big Band Jingle A" is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive. If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram! We also have a ko-fi and we're real self-conscious about it!

OMG, Kristy’s got a mystery admirer! It’s a recipe for romance and/or murder! Also, time is a flat circle, and there’s some sports. And some ICONIC Halloween costumes. On today’s agenda: eldritch mystery admirer rituals; mandatory minimum scoldings; romantic similes that do not hold up; unfounded accusations of linguistic prescriptivism; the sophisticated New York sewer system; we plan the highlight of next year’s sporting calendar; tfw you’re 13 and you hold someone in the highest esteem; Logan gets on all of our nerves; Aoife’s sticker trauma; Mallory invents feminism; Jordan Pike grows up and changes his name; a World Series that is neither worldwide nor a series; the Watson Brewer Perpetual Cup; Ann’s questionable grasp of crustacean anatomy. Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley & "Big Band Jingle A" is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive. If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram!

OMG, Dawn’s dating an older boy! Luckily, he’s an insufferable douche as well as being a creep, so it doesn’t last long. Meanwhile, Mary Anne’s actually being canonically sensitive for once, and someone’s caught Kristy’s eye. On today’s agenda: false promises of child chaos; toaster oven vindication; hazing in the NICU; the best use for fake teeth; podcaster charitability rankings; important Travis statistics; Dawn goes genre-hopping; everything is Zach’s fault; the mark of a good man; superior stalking techniques; all the cool teens love Ovid’s Metamorphoses. Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley & "Big Band Jingle A" is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive. If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram!

OMG, Jessi’s got a babysitter! And she’s phenomenally unimpressed! Meanwhile, Jackie Rodowsky is buying redacted chemicals at undisclosed locations and we’ve got big plans. Also, Barbie’s on the moon. On today’s agenda: the world’s tiniest violin; rampant volcanophobia; what to do with 30kg of dry ice; fake spider follies; a perfectly good pancake conversation; passive-aggressive banner design; mad science as a coping strategy; Jackie officially reaches breaking point; the misogyny wing of the Pike Library; a new category of BSC book. Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley & "Big Band Jingle A" is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive. If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram!

OMG, Claudia and Dawn are doing illegal daycare while lost at sea! How did this happen, you ask? It turns out they’re massively into sailing, just huge boat-heads, and they always have been, you just didn’t notice. Don’t worry if you don’t know anything about sailing, though – neither does Ann. We got a boat guy in to consult on this book and he was very upset. On today’s agenda: massive, shameless retcons; the boat terminology social contract; Dawn and Jeff are hydration hipsters; the junior coastguard can’t go out after dark; all the men are cancelled; beach vibes only; the tragedy of the Ramseys; a master class in exposition; judo training in the Carnegie library; a PhD in boat imagery; baffling 90s phone tech. Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley & "Big Band Jingle A" is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive. If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram!

OMG, there’s a mystery in Stoneybrook! Fortunately Stacey’s on the case, and it turns out she’s psychic maybe? The important thing is, it’s totally OK to drag your ailing babysitting charge around an unsupervised building site if there are ghosts involved. Plus, further discourse on microwaved bacon. On today’s agenda: a distressingly competent cover; important Dublin history; we have doubts about Kristy’s map-reading skills; parasocial stone tape hypothesis; a troubling absence of Jessi; some implausible stuff about welding torches; Old Rubbernose is the OG incel; little a gaslighting, as a treat; what to wear for the social event of the season. Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley; "Big Band Jingle A" is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive. If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram!

OMG, Mary Anne has encountered some boys! We refuse to call it too many boys, because it’s really not THAT many boys. It’s, like, a slight oversupply of boys. Meanwhile, we concoct elaborate hypothetical situations to psychologically torture each other. Just normal friend stuff, really. On today’s agenda: a disappointing lack of Catbus; baffling trampoline retcons; ten boyfriends and a terrifying clown; Karen’s son foretells Earth's doom; bacon-based hate crime; a serious case of foreshadowing; minimal Mallory; sun safety equals instant comedy; a crisis of monogamy; nothing good happens in the ice-cream parlour; hamster husbandry, revisited; the thong bikini window; Aoife goes crone mode. Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley & "Big Band Jingle A" is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive. If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram!