The Erotic Philosopher

Join us for the final episode of Season 4 while I take a break for a while and you have time to catch up on all the past episodes you may have missed. While you’re here a HUGE request to please leave us a rating and review on Apple – your reviews make such a difference to our visibility and viability to return with even more episodes. To remain ad free and bullshit free – your support REALLY matters Now this episode’s guest...someone whose internet presence is as witty and acerbic as it is compassionate and insightful. Known online for his love of cats, Satan and horror films, Dr. Eric Sprankle ushers in the new wave of academia and sexology for a new generation. Dr. Eric Sprankle is a Professor of Clinical Psychology at Minnesota State University, Mankato where he is also the co-founder and co-director of the Sexuality Studies program. Dr. Sprankle received his doctorate in clinical psychology from Xavier University and completed a postdoctoral fellowship at the University of Minnesota Medical School's Program in Human Sexuality. His current research focuses on the intersections of sexuality, stigma, and Satanism. His first book, DIY: The Wonderfully Weird History and Science of Masturbation will be published late 2023. In this interview we dive into the history of masturbation, (did you even know masturbation had a history??) and we'll talk about some of the ways masturbation is both lauded and misunderstood, and often blamed for the many ills of the world. Out of the closet and into the open, masturbation for many of us is our first erotic experience and certainly our longest term sexual partner, so, let’s talk about it like it matters. Enjoy todays discussion with Dr Eric Sprankle on all podcast platforms and watch the interview on You Tube www.drsprankle.com Follow @DrSprankle Follow @theeroticphilos on IG & Twitter. Follow Cyndi @cyndi_darnell or website www.cyndidarnell.com

Today's guest is Kate Loree, is a sex-positive licensed marriage and family therapist with a specialty in non-monogamous, kink, LGBTQ, and sex worker communities and the author of Open Deeply: A Guide to Building Conscious, Compassionate Open Relationships. She cohosts her own sex-positive podcast, Open Deeply, with Sunny Megatron. In this episode Kate and I dig into the work of intimate relationships and she offers insight into how we can show up better in our relationships. We look at how to manage triggers during communication, what to do when a situation feels dire and hopeless and how attachment injuries impact non-monogamy. Enjoy today's interview with Kate Loree on all podcast platforms and watch the interview on You Tube Follow @theeroticphilos on IG & Twitter. Follow Cyndi @cyndi_darnell or website www.cyndidarnell.com Kate’s website is www.kateLoree.com Instagram @opendeeplywithkateloree TikTok: @opendeeplywithkateloree Facebook @kateloreelmft Twitter @kateloreelmft

This week is Cuckweek! Who knew? - not me until I recorded this interview with Dr. David Ley, someone whose work I have followed for many years and indeed the world's foremost expert into the world of cukolding, hot wife-ing and the impact of religonn on human sexuality. Dr David Ley is a clinical psychologist, sex therapist and author, based in Albuquerque, New Mexico. He's the author of several books and research articles on sexuality, including his first book, Insatiable Wives, Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them, known as the “Bible of Cuckolding.” With Justin Lehmiller and columnist Dan Savage, Dr. Ley published the first empirical research on cuckolding. Dr. Ley is a frequent guest in media around the world, with appearances in sources such as the New York Times, CNN and Time Magazine, to Hustler and Playboy magazines. In this interview we trace the origins of David's work in unpacking human sexuality, how he developed his signature brand of open minded inquiry and curiosity, and the errrors in judgement he made early in his clinical career. Then we pivot into his ground breaking exploration of the world of cuckolding or hot wives, and how the cuck world is become a movment of erotic awakening unto itsef. Enjoy today's interview with Dr David Ley on all podcast platforms and watch the interview on You Tube Follow @theeroticphilos on IG & Twitter. Follow Cyndi @cyndi_darnell or website www.cyndidarnell.com Follow Dr. Ley: twitter @drdavidley Insta @davidleyphd Don't forget to leave us a rating and review

Today's guest is an absolute delight and I am thrilled to introduce you to Goody Howard. Goody is an award-winning sexologist, educator, and consultant. She provides pleasure development and professional development workshops worldwide. Her authentic and enthusiastic presentation style allows her audiences to connect quickly to the concepts and enjoy learning about sexual health, pleasure, and human variance equity. She makes pleasure-inclusive, comprehensive sex education accessible, intentional, and fun! While Goody’s pleasure-focused offerings are her most popular classes, she also teaches relevant career development workshops for educators, social workers, and healthcare providers. In this interview Goody and I talk about her evolution into the work of pleasure focused sex education, how her background has moved her along and within the obstacles she has faced to create pleasure focused inclusive trainings for adults around the world. We learn about how her transformational Rideology workshops are flipping the script on tired old "positions classes and we get real deep on taking a look at who pleasure is REALLY for in the Goody Gang. Enjoy todays discussion with Goody Howard. Listen on all podcast platforms and watch the interview on You Tube @askgoody and www.askgoody.com @theeroticphilos on IG & Twitter @cyndi_darnell on socials

Ever wondered what makes a person kinky? How we define it or what does it mean you’re your partner is into kink and perhaps you are not? Today’s guest is Dr Richard Sprott. received his Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology from UC Berkeley in 1994. He is currently directing research projects focused on identity development and health/well-being in people who express alternative sexualities and non-traditional relationships, with a special emphasis on kink/BDSM sexuality, and polyamory or consensual non-monogamy. He is the Past President of the Society for the Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity (APA Division 44) for 2022-2023. He is also the co-author of Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities with my former erotic philosopher guest David Ortmann. Along with Dr. Elisabeth Sheff, also a guest from this season episode one, he is co-editor of a new book series Diverse Sexualities, Genders, and Relationships from Rowman & Littlefield ( incidently also the publishers of my book) . Richard currently teaches courses in the Department of Human Development and Women's Studies at California State University, East Bay and graduate level courses at various universities in the Bay Area, including UC Berkeley and Holy Names University. Enjoy this discussion with Dr Richard Sprott. Listen on all podcast platforms and watch the interviews on You Tube Follow @theeroticphilos on IG & Twitter. Follow Cyndi @cyndi_darnell or website www.cyndidarnell.com Follow Richard Twitter: @DrRichardSprott or IG @rasprott AND @kinkhealth on IG & Twitter and learn about the international kink study at www.tashra.org

Today's guest is Dr. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn a sex and relationship expert, tenured professor, relationship coach at Luvbites.co, and host of Luvbites by Dr. Tara Podcast with a bustling social media presence on TikTok. From a shy immigrant from Thailand to a confident sexpert, her goal is to normalize talking about sex in a healthy and fun way. In this episode we learn about Dr Tara's research into sexual communication and we explore what makes sex fulfilling no matter the stage of life yo'ure at or what you're into. Dr Tara asks me about my experiences with sexual midfulness and I share more about my own relationship with low libido, the inspiration behind writing my book. A couple steps back from the gravitas of our more recent episodes, this light-hearted discussion with Dr Tara offers a little levity Enjoy today's discussion with Dr Tara Suwinyattichaiporn Watch the interview in full on You Tube And don't forget to leave us a rating and review Find Cyndi's website here

In this episode we meet Dr. Holly Richmond - a Somatic Psychotherapist, Certified Sex Therapist, and Clinical Board Member for Dame Products. Her newly released book Reclaiming Pleasure: A Sex-Positive Guide for Moving Past Sexual Trauma and Living a Passionate Life (New Harbinger, Oct. 2021) is an innovative look at both somatic and psychological factors in survivors’ erotic recovery. In this interview we look at what it takes to recover from sexual assault, what SA even is, we bust some myths about who this affects and where /how it happens and how to begin on the road to recovery. A powerful episode. Listen gently. Watch the interview in full on You Tube And don't forget to leave us a rating and review Find Cyndi's website here Website www.drhollyrichmond.com. Social @drhollyrichmond

In this episode we meet Lola Jean. A Sex Educator, Fetish Wrestler, ProDomme, and World Record Holder for Volume Squirting (solo). She provides the 'No Frills Sex Education' we both need and deserve. Lola brings a refreshing understanding to sex, sexuality, and kink to invite individuals through what they think they are capable of. In this episode Lola Jean talks to us about her signature squirting demos, but then we take an intimate turn into how LolaJean deals with performance pressure, sexual and emotional anxiety and why vulnerability is a normal part of life we all caln learn from. Watch the interview in full on You Tube And don't forget to leave us a rating and review Find Cyndi's website here Website www.drhollyrichmond.com. Social @drhollyrichmond Lola's Website @lolajeandotcom on social

Dr. Nan Wise is a certified sex therapist, relationship specialist, neuroscience researcher, and author of Why Good Sex Matters: Understanding the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier, and More Purpose-Filled Life. Her research has addressed gaps in the literature regarding the neural basis of human sexuality and garnered international attention. Her clinical approach highlights the critical role our evolutionarily wired-in “core” emotions play in physical and mental well-being. Imbalances in these core emotions contribute to anxiety, depression, stress-related disorders, and sexual dysfunction, and anhedonia, or the inability to experience pleasure. This pleasure crisis is evidenced by soaring epidemics of mood disorders, stress-related illnesses, and a widespread sexual recession. Dr. Nan has appeared on The Today Show and contributed her expert opinion to many media outlets and she writes regularly for Psychology Today and Glamour. In this episode Dr Nan & Cyndi Darnell dig into her research on pleasure and the brain and we explore the relationship between how complex feelings can hijack pleasure - and what we can do to create more pleasure in our lives. You can watch the entire interview on You Tube and leave us a rating and review on Apple podcasts Head to the Erotic Philosopher website and follow on Instagram and Twitter Follow Cyndi on Instagram, Facebook , TikTok and Twitter

This week's guest Dr Roger Kuhn is a Poarch Creek Two-Spirit Indigequeer soma-cultural activist, artist, sex therapist, and sexuality educator. Roger’s work explores the concepts of decolonizing and unsettling sexuality and focuses on the way culture impacts and informs our bodily experiences. In addition to his work as a licensed psychotherapist, Roger is a faculty lecturer of American Indian Studies at San Francisco State University. He is a board member of the American Indian Cultural Center of San Francisco, a community organizer of the Bay Area American Indian Two-Spirit powwow, and a member of the LGBTQ+ Advisory Committee of the San Francisco Human Rights Commission. In 2022, Roger was featured in the Levi’s Pride campaign. He is currently writing his first book, Soma-Cultural Liberation, which will be published by North Atlantic books in 2024. In this episode we dig into the impact of the body and culture and it's impact ion how we process sensation, emotion and so much more. Roger unpacks some soma cultural narratives in North American life and offers his knowledge on the impact of soma-cultural liberation in sex, therapy and relationships. Follow him on Instagram Watch on You Tube Find Cyndi www.cyndidarnell.com and on Instagram and Facebook and Twitter Follow The Erotic Philosopher on Instagram and Twitter

If you've ever felt conflicted about your relationship to love, romance and even how you love, you're going to enjoy today's guest Anne Hodder-Shipp an award-winning certified sex and relationship educator dedicated to providing accurate, expansive, and compassionate care. They are the founder and lead educator at Everyone Deserves Sex Ed, a sex ed and professional development organization, and they work with people and couples of almost any age to help build skills, knowledge, and confidence around identity, pleasure, relationships, and communication. Most recently, Anne wrote the groundbreaking expansive love language ebook, Speaking from the Heart: 18 Languages for Modern Love, and its accompanying guide, The Speaking from the Heart Workbook: A Practical Guide to the Modern Love Languages. In this interview Anne and I look at the role of sex education as a community endeavor, not just something that happens at school or for sex therapists, but something that helps us create communities that are meaningful. Then we shift toward unpacking their work critiquing the popuar 5 Love Languages and Anne offers us some powerful reframes and why we need to be a bit more curious about dissecting love languages as they've been fed to us. https://annehoddershipp.com/https://everyonedeservessexed.com/https://www.themodernlovelanguages.com/

Ignacio G. Hutía Xeiti Rivera (they/elle), M.A., is a cultural sociologist with expertise in sexual trauma, healing, and liberation for marginalized people. They are an internationally known gender non-conforming speaker, trainer, and consultant. Ignacio is the Founder and Co-Executive Director at The HEAL Project, where they work to prevent and end Childhood Sexual Abuse (CSA). Ignacio is the co-host of 'Caution: Unrestricted', a survivor-centered talk show inviting everyone to engage with the Culture of Sexual Violence through brutal, and at times sarcastic, truth-telling. They are the co-developer of the Rivera-Azad Sexual Healing Integration Model (RASHIM). Learn more about RASHIM at heal2end.org/rashim In this episode, we dig into family dynamics, healthy parent and child connections, and preventing sexual violence from childhood by removing shame and encouraging curiosity. You can follow Ignacio's work here as well as on the socials @heal2end. Watch The Erotic Philosopher interviews on You Tube

In this episode I am rejoined by my dear friend Eric G. Schneider who you met in Season 3, but this time he joins me to discuss his very personal experience of with surviving and living with the effects of prostate cancer and its impact on his relationship and his sex life. Eric's willingness to share his story here is a cruicial aspect of our collective healing work - insofar that few men discuss or extrapolate the emotional and personal impact this condition has on them, their relationships and their sex lives. Men and the people who love them will find this episode especially helpful for bringing to light the taboo of discussing intimacy from (cis) mens point of view. Eric models and demostrates what is possible for men in relationships and sex when they are willing to be real with themselves and their partners, especially with issues so few men are willing to discuss - like the impact of erection function, hopes, fears, and expectations on historically 'sexual' intimate relationships.

Welcome back to Season 4 of The Erotic Philosopher. In this episode we talk with Dr Eli Sheff, one of the world's foremost relationships researchers. Dr. Elisabeth “Eli” Sheff is a researcher, expert witness, coach and educator. With a PhD in Sociology and certification as a Sexuality Educator from AASECT, Dr. Eli specializes in gender and sexual minority families, consensual non-monogamy, and kink/BDSM. Sheff is the foremost academic expert on polyamorous families with children, and her 25+ year Polyamorous Family Study is the only longitudinal study of poly families with children to date. Dr. Eli has served as faculty at seven universities and currently chairs the CNM Legal Issues Team for the American Psychological Association, Division 44 Committee on CNM. Sheff has published four books and over 25 journal articles and chapters and is currently editing a series of books on relationship and sexual diversity. In this episode we explore all things relationships with a particular focus on polyamorous families with kids, legal issues for sex and gender minorities & different forms of bonding Find out more about The Erotic Philosopher and more about Dr Eli Sheff

In this final episode for season three we finish by completing the circle of sex education with Justin Hancock. Justin is a sex and relationships educator, trainer and practitioner working with young people and adults in this field since 1999. His website BISHuk.com is one of the leading sex and relationships advice websites for all those over 14. It receives thousands of visits per day and is highly regarded by young people and practitioners alike. Justin has worked in schools, colleges, universities, and youth projects for over 20 years delivering relationships & sex education (RSE) with young people over 14. In addition to this Justin works with practitioners in sex and relationships education and sexual health services providing training and resources. He is also the co-author of a sex advice book with Meg-John Barker ( episode 14 of this season) ‘Enjoy Sex - How, When and If You Want To'. He hosts the Culture Sex Relationships podcast. Justin’s latest book is ‘Can We Talk About Consent’, published by Quarto Books, is out now. www.bishuk.com www.bishtraining.com soundcloud.com/culturesexrelationships Social @bishtraining twitter

You may not have heard of the Wheel of Consent, but you really should. So much more than consent as a Yes / No transaction, "The Wheel" as its referred to in sexology circles, offers a frame work through which we can discuss sex , pleasure, power and so much more. This really is the sex education all of us should have received in high school, but I am certain none of us did. To me, the wheel is one of the most powerful revolutions in sex education in a generation and today's guest is te creator of that revolution. Dr. Betty Martin has had her hands on people professionally for over 40 years, first as a Chiropractor and upon retiring from that practice, as a certified Surrogate Partner, Sacred Intimate, and Somatic Sex Educator. Her explorations in somatic-based therapy and practices informed her creation of the framework, The Wheel of Consent®. https://bettymartin.org IG @thewheelofconsent

This episode brings two leading powerhouses of gender, trauma and their intersections with sex and pleasure. In this episode we look at the notion of intersectionality and how pleasure is informed by so much more than whats in our pants. You can find joy and pleasure after trauma and why generic sex advice can often make things worse for us than we intend. Alex Iantaffi, PhD, MS, SEP, CST, LMFT (they/them) is a family therapist, WPATH certified gender specialist, AASECT certified sex therapist, Somatic ExperiencingⓇ practitioner, clinical supervisor, and author. Alex is Chair of the Trans and Queer interest network of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) and President Elect of the Minnesota Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (MAMFT). Alex is the author of "Gender Trauma: healing cultural, social, and historical gendered trauma" and co-author of the books "How to UnderstandYour Gender: a practical guide for exploring who you are", “How To Understand Your Sexuality”, “Life Isn’t Binary”, and “Hell Yeah Self-Care: a Trauma-Informed Workbook”. They also host the podcast Gender Stories. You can find out more about them at www.alexiantaffi.com or follow them on Twitter and Instagram @xtaffi and @genderstories Meg-John Barker is the author of a number of popular books on sex, gender, and relationships, including graphic guides to Queer, Gender, and Sexuality, How To Understand Your Gender, Life Isn’t Binary, Enjoy Sex (How, When, and IF You Want To), Rewriting the Rules, and Hell Yeah Self Care. They have also written a number of books for scholars and counsellors on these topics, drawing on their own years of academic work and therapeutic practice. Website: rewriting-the-rules.com. Twitter: @megjohnbarker, YouTube: MegJohnBarkerPsych

Strap in friends. This episode I dive deep with Dr Patrick Grant a Clinical Psychology Resident in Atlanta, GA. His interests include using clinical practice and research to expand the narratives of Black folx; and exploring the ways diversity-related experiences impact mental health outcomes. Grant’s published works primarily center same gender loving (SGL) Black male issues, which include but are not limited to the availability of sexually liberating spaces for Black queer men. Should anal sex hurt and when it does, are you more of a man? As a Top are you more dominant if your partner experiences pain? And what does that say about how we even talk about sex from the outset? Whose pleasure is this anyway? We explore some HUGE ideas regarding Black folx, access to healthcare and its impact on pleasure and so much more. Instagram and Twitter: @iampryan

Dee Dee Goldpaugh, LCSW (they/them/theirs) is a psychotherapist and clinical supervisor in private practice specializing in sex and relationship therapy, trauma, spirituality, and Psychedelic Integration Psychotherapy. They are also a member of the Woodstock Therapy Center Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP) Team. Dee Dee has written and presented widely on the topic of psychedelics and sexuality, queer identity, trauma, spiritual practice, and pleasure. Dee Dee is the Community Support and Integration Director of the Hudson Valley Psychedelic Society and has a clinical training background in Sex Therapy, EMDR, Internal Family Systems Therapy, and psychodynamic psychotherapy. They are an artist and musician, and have additional training in shamanic healing and bioregional herbal medicine. Dee Dee’s approach to psychotherapy embraces body and sex positivity and spiritual growth as tools for self-actualization. www.deedeegoldpaugh.com

Jessica Fern is a Psychotherapist, Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, and author of the book Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and Non Monomgamy. In her international private practice, Jessica works with individuals, couples, and people in multiple-partner relationships who no longer want to be limited by their reactive patterns, cultural conditioning, insecure attachment styles, and past traumas, helping them to embody new possibilities in life and love. Learn more at JessicaFern.com