The Sober and Happy Podcast

Like nature, our recovery journeys have seasons—each with unique challenges and rewards. In this episode, we discuss how to navigate each season effectively, how to prepare for the inevitable challenges, and how to appreciate the unique opportunities each season offers. Just like in nature, no season lasts forever, and understanding this can help us find balance and resilience in our recovery journey. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by the ups and downs of sobriety, or if you’re struggling to find your footing in a challenging time, this episode is for you.

In this episode, we explore a question that many people ask: What does it mean to be truly sober and happy? This isn’t about living in a constant state of bliss; life will always have its ups and downs. Instead, it's about building a genuinely fulfilling and joyful life, so much so that the idea of drinking becomes obsolete. If you’ve ever felt unfulfilled in your sobriety or wondered how to find lasting joy, this episode is for you. We’ll discuss practical steps to build a life that supports your sobriety and makes it genuinely rewarding. Click play now to join us on this journey towards a life where sobriety and happiness go hand in hand.

In this episode, we talk about the misconception that might feel all too real if you're new to sobriety: the belief that everyone drinks. In my journey into sobriety, I discovered that a surprisingly large portion of the population chooses not to drink. Not because they can't but because they choose not to. Did you know that 38% of Americans don't drink at all? Or that the most common reason people choose not to drink is simply having no desire to? We'll explore how these revelations can change how you view social interactions and help you feel less isolated in your sober journey. So, if you've ever felt like an outcast for not drinking, or if you're curious about navigating a seemingly alcohol-centric world sober, this is the episode for you. Click play now to discover a different perspective on sobriety and learn how to thrive in a world where you don't have to drink to fit in.

In today’s episode of the "Sober and Happy Podcast," we tackle a critical aspect of recovery: rebuilding trust. If you've ever felt frustrated because people in your life still view you through the lens of your past behaviors despite your progress in sobriety, this episode is for you. I've been where you are—knowing deep down that I've changed, yet facing doubts from those around me. We'll explore how long it really takes to rebuild trust and effective strategies to accelerate this process. This episode is packed with relatable stories and actionable advice, from personal anecdotes, like moving out of my mom's house to demonstrate maturity, to the lessons learned from a candid conversation between two young brothers about honesty. We'll discuss the importance of consistency in our actions, the impact of small lies on our credibility, and practical ways to deal with accusations or doubts from loved ones. Whether it’s utilizing compassionate communication or understanding the necessity of patience, I’ll guide you through the steps to not only regain trust but also strengthen your relationships. So, if you're struggling with the slow pace of gaining trust or if you feel like no matter what you do, it's never enough—tune in. This episode will provide you with the tools and mindset to navigate these challenges and continue on your path to a sober and happy life. Click play now to discover how to transform your relationships and ensure that your actions speak louder than your past.

Recovery is going to be filled with a series of ups and downs. There is nothing that we can do to prevent setbacks completely. We are going to make mistakes. Life is absolutely going to knock us down at times. There are times when we will think that we can’t go on. But we can. We have the choice whether to give up or to get up, dust ourselves off, and take a step forward, no matter how small that step may be. So how do we do that? How can we move forward when it seems so difficult? That is what we are going to talk about in this episode.

One of the most dangerous but often overlooked places to be in our recovery journeys is when we are stuck in a rut. Suddenly, things that might have excited us about being sober and life start to feel boring or dull. When this starts happening, it often triggers many of the negative emotions that we experienced when we were still drinking or using, as anxiety and depression start coming back. If left untreated, thoughts like “If I am going to feel this way sober, I might as well get drunk” might start creeping into our heads. So, how do we get out of these ruts and recognize them before they get too deep? That is what we are going to talk about in this episode.

Deciding to quit any substance is hard enough, but we often unknowingly do things that can make things more difficult for us. One of those things is not doing any preparation to get sober. We have one of those “I will never drink again” mornings, decide to quit, pick a date, and then try to white-knuckle it. But what steps can we take before taking the last drink that can increase our chances of having success? That is what we are going to talk about in this episode. Topics mentioned in this episode can be further explored in the following episodes: #2: Finding Your Why For Getting and Staying Sober #10: So You Relapsed, Now What? #15: Do I Need To Give Up My Old Friends And Life When I Get Sober? #19: How To Set and Maintain Boundaries When We Get Sober #21: Getting Honest About Your Alcoholism #51: How To Deal With Triggers After You Get Sober Also, if you are looking for support during your recovery journey, check out the Sober and Happy Community here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/soberandhappy

A couple of weeks ago, I posted the following question on my social media pages: What signs might indicate a relapse was near? I got hundreds of responses, and after going through each one, I compiled a list of the top 7 relapse warning signs according to you guys. Recognizing them is the first step, but what should we do once we recognize them, and how can we be proactive in not slipping back into them again? That is what we are going to discuss in this episode. If you recognize yourself in any of these warning signs and want to take steps to prevent relapsing, you might find these episodes helpful: #10: So You Relapsed, Now What? #15: Do I Need To Give Up My Old Friends And Life When I Get Sober? #22: Why You Must Get To The Cause Of Your Addiction If You Want To Recover #23: The Process I Used To Completely Remove My Alcohol Cravings #44: Dealing With The Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO) In Your Sobriety #48: What Are You Willing To Sacrifice For Your Sobriety? #51: How To Deal With Triggers After You Get Sober #57: Establishing and Maintaining Healthy Sober Routines Also, if you are looking for support, please join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/soberandhappy

I want to talk about one of the most elusive things in the universe. Something we have searched long and hard for, but have never had concrete evidence that it exists. I am not talking about Big Foot, the Loch Ness monster, or UFOs. I am talking about discovering an alcoholic who has found a way to control their drinking and finally be able to drink like a normal person. At some point, most of us have wondered if we could crack the code and learn how to drink like a normal person. But is it possible? Is there a way? That is what we are going to be talking about in this episode.

Our addiction and recovery journeys are not a straight path. They are journeys filled with twists, turns, ups, and downs. It is easy to slip into the habit of embracing the journey when everything is going well, but then instantly question whether it is worth it when something bad happens. But what if we are where we are supposed to be even when things appear to be going wrong? What if the lessons we learn through our challenges are what make us strong enough to conquer our addictions finally? What if the secret to long-term sobriety is learning to embrace our journey no matter where we are at this exact moment? That is what we are going to be talking about in this episode.

I think one of the biggest obstacles many of us have when we are considering a sober life, is worrying about how we are going to function without alcohol. To an outsider, this may seem crazy. It may seem obvious that alcohol is the cause of all the problems in our lives, but for many of us, it also is the solution to many of the problems in our lives. So what do we do when alcohol seems to be both the problem and the solution? Are things going to get worse once we quit? How are we going to handle so many of the things we turned to alcohol for? That is what we are going to be talking about in this episode.

If you have been in the recovery world for any amount of time, you have likely heard the term “dry drunk”. This term is thrown around often, but I don’t think it is fully understood. I know I didn’t understand it when I first got sober, I just knew from the way everybody talked about it, that I should try not to become one. But, what does it mean to be a "dry drunk"? How do we recognize the behaviors of it and how does that affect our recovery? That is what we are going to talk about in this episode.

Let me know if you have ever caught yourself justifying a bad habit with the following statement “Yeah, but at least I am not drinking, right?” Don’t feel bad if you have. Early in sobriety, I said that so much I might as well have had a t-shirt and bumper sticker made with that phrase on it. And there is truth to that statement. Many of the other habits that I was clinging to did not have the level of consequences that my drinking did. But they all still had consequences. So how do we discover other habits and behaviors we should take a second look at? Can these other habits jeopardize our recovery, and if so, how do we recognize that? That is what we are going to talk about in this episode.

I want you to ask yourself the following question. Is your sobriety and life being guided by the opinions of others? I know many of us in recovery identify as people pleasers and we often find ourselves saying yes to things even though we may not want to do them. Doing this can often cause us to stay in a place in our lives that does not serve us simply because we are worried about disappointing others. So how do we begin to make decisions that are not only best for us, but also for the people closest to us? How can we learn to start saying no? That is what we are going to be talking about in this episode.

Let me know if this sounds familiar. You are sick and tired of something and you know you have to make a change. Maybe it is getting sober, maybe it is another big change in your life, or maybe it is finally chasing that dream you have always had. You tell yourself, I am going to start Monday and you mean it. This time it is going to be different. Then as Monday gets closer, all the reasons we know we must change start to get drowned out by all the reasons we are finding why we should put it off. Then Monday rolls around, and nothing changes. So how do we push through that blockage? How do we stay motivated when the initial conviction to change starts to get drowned out by our justifications to put it off until next Monday? Well, that is what we are going to be talking about in this episode.

It's natural to seek guidance from those who have walked a similar path before us. After all, who better to understand our struggles than someone who has been there themselves? Many of us do not know how to stay sober, so we often find ourselves blindly following advice given to us in recovery which can lead us down a dangerous path. It can cause us to ignore our own instincts and intuition, ultimately hindering our progress in recovery. We may find ourselves trying to fit into someone else's mold rather than embracing our own journey. But what happens when the advice we receive isn't necessarily what's best for us? How do we know which advice we should be following and when we should consider alternative advice from someone else? How can we discover our own path to sobriety rather than living one that is laid out for us? That is what we are going to discuss in this episode.

I have a lot of people who reach out to me asking what the secret to lasting sobriety is. While I don’t think there is one secret, I can look back on my own experience and identify some of the most pivotal moments in my sobriety. Always at the top of that list are moments when I was open to forgiveness. Forgiveness to myself, forgiveness to others, and being open to asking for forgiveness from someone that I had hurt in the past. With each of those moments, I felt like I leveled up in my sobriety as I felt huge weights I had been carrying for so long were finally lifted from me. So how do we begin the process of forgiveness? How can we finally be willing to let go of some of the things that we have held onto for so long? That is what we are going to talk about in this episode.

A very common piece of advice to newly sober people is to remove the things in your life that are associated with drinking. I don't know about you, but in my life when I was drinking, everything I did was associated with drinking. I followed the advice and it left a huge void in my life. What we do to replace that void is often the difference between struggling with staying sober and living a sober and happy life. In this episode, we will talk about how to know what things we need to remove from our lives, the types of things we can fill that void with, and why it is so important to fill our lives with reasons not to drink.

Often when I talk to people in recovery they will ask me how often I get judged since I decided to start being open about my past addiction and my current recovery. I only started posting on social media this last year, but I stopped hiding the fact that I don’t drink because of my past drinking problems about 7 years ago around the time I decided to stop going to Alcoholics Anonymous. Do I get nasty messages in my inbox? Do friends, coworkers, or random people I went to high school with look at me differently? Do I get passed up on promotions at work because my coworkers and leaders at my company know? That is what we talk about in this episode.

One of the patterns I have seen often from people struggling in recovery is after the initial emotional boost from escaping from addiction, there comes a point in many people's recovery where they fall into a lull where life seems just to be dull. And then the thought creeps into their head, where they start thinking “Is this really it?”. Most of these people are simply not drinking and have settled into a routine that does not match the life they are capable of living. A life filled with joy, excitement, and fulfillment. They simply have settled for just being sober. So how do we recognize this stage, what are the reasons we tend to gravitate towards settling, and what can we do to get out of that rut? That is what we are going to talk about in this episode.