I Have No Idea What I’m Doing

I talk about my continued medical garbage, writing, reading, and homebuying, panicking because of all of it. I also talk about grief, the grief book, shifting to more positive thinking, and aging pets. I also read a couple poems I wrote this week. As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned. If you want to share your sad (or happy or anything in between) life-happenings that feel invisible, especially because of the pandemic, you can email me at...

This one is all about the procedure I just had, some other medical/health updates, and about the house hunt and some exciting developments with that – and how all of this happened in seven days. Lots of stuff crammed into one seven-day period. I talk about D&D, resting, relaxing, and rejection, and I realized mid-recording that I really need to get my health back to a place where I can get back on my skateboard more frequently. I also mention the movie, The Sasquatch Gang. If you haven’t...

Burnout, grief check in, looking for ways to be more positive, social isolation, a recent thing I wrote, rambling briefly about TV show Superstore and YouTubers Moist Critical and shoe0nhead. Yep, this episode has it all. https://www.youtube.com/user/penguinz0 https://www.youtube.com/c/Shoe0nHead As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned. If you want to share your sad (or happy or anything in between) life-happenings that feel invisible, especially...

Migraines, other health updates, generally reflecting on how functioning the last couple of weeks has been difficult on a lot of levels, and creativity are the main topics for this one. I also share a brand-new, never publicly shared story here for the first time. It’s a short story: “Crushed” – really nervous about sharing, but I tried to promise myself that I’d work on writing more and I recently wrote this and felt decent about it. Since this is an accountability space for me, I figured...

Once again, I feel angry, frustrated, tired, but this time, full of fight, despite depression and grief, and I scream into the void about the decisions being made in this fucking country. Then I switch gears and talk about some media I’ve interacted with this week along with how I’m trying to cope. I talk about the decent “Supreme” decision for a majority of this episode, so if you’re not up for that, you’ve been warned. As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been...

I feel angry, frustrated, tired, lost, hopeless, and I honestly just scream into the void about it for a while. Then I talk about what makes me happy, trying to focus on coping, wishing I could get some perspective on happiness and how to maintain a better mental/emotional state, some manic energy I was spiraling on last week and some decisions based on it. Then I read a journal entry and call it a day. As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned. If you want...

This one gets heavier than normal. I talk about emotional burnout, a very rough week, Pride, Indy 500, hobbies and routines feeling like forced obligations and wondering if it’s burnout or depression making it feel that way, and I also talk about how grief was wrapped up in the rocky week. I also read a VERY intense listener email. As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned. If you want to share your sad (or happy or anything in between) life-happenings that...

Self-love via Gaga circa 2010-2012 vs 2022, Anterior Pelvic Tilt, yoga, exercise, skateboarding, D&D, video games, reading, writing, COVID brain fog, emotional burn out, Indy 500, Texas and Oklahoma, and another glance at 2012 me vs 2022 me. This episode covers a lot in a short amount of time. As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned. If you want to share your sad (or happy or anything in between) life-happenings that feel invisible, especially because of...

This one includes discussion about Mother’s Day, post-Mother’s Day blues, an enamel pin, writing, reading, skating, the Hatch Act, and the state of hard world stuff in general. I read a letter I wrote to Mom and ramble about missing movie theaters, feeling a deep loneliness and trying to combat it, and the desire to stop feeling like I want to die. Pysch2Go is the name of the YouTube Channel I talk about at some point in this as well. As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff;...

This one is heavy. It’s Mother’s Day, which snuck up on me, and Roe v Wade has me angry and sad, too. I talk about struggling with today being Mother’s Day, with the leaked information about Roe v Wade. This one is just heavy all around. As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned. If you want to share your sad (or happy or anything in between) life-happenings that feel invisible, especially because of the pandemic, you can email me at...

I ramble about creativity being hard, still feeling relatively quiet, and loving Greg Mania’s book Born to Be Public: A Memoir. I also talk about heavy topics weighing on me and not having the capacity to really deal with those items still. And somehow, I wind up giving a play-by-play of my early voting experience? I don’t know. I was kind of all over the place this episode. I think I might have just been happy to be up for recording a bit more? I don’t know. As always, I swear and talk...

Another shorter episode. I swear as soon as I can, I will record longer episodes again! Still worn out from being sick, still trying to recover from the sick-tired feeling that continues, generally still feeling less stamina, less mental capacity, and just…very tired. Trying to do a check in involved: discussing Easter, being sick, feeling unhelpful for people I care about who are dealing with health stuff right now, what I’ve been reading/doing/trying to do this week. Forgot to say this in...

Just a quick episode, still not 100%, want less awful than before. After recording, I realized that I am feeling truly depressed and worn out from recovering from being sick so recording was hard because of that. This is another quick update from recovery. Hopefully, I'll be feeling much better soon. As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned. If you want to share your sad life-happenings that feel invisible, especially because of the pandemic, you can email...

Just a quick episode, still sick, but less sick. Felt horrible not doing an episode two weeks in a row. Talk about The Dropout finale, Community, Easter, and The Batman. As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned. If you want to share your sad life-happenings that feel invisible, especially because of the pandemic, you can email me at IDKPandemicPodcast@gmail.com. Feel free to follow the podcast on Twitter: @IDKPandemicPod. I haven’t made time to...

I ramble a lot. Mostly about the ways in which depression has affected me, and how I’ve been trying to more actively combat that this week (while also still being pretty depressed), but I talk about Mom and Grandma, missing them, and grappling with the feelings of a life-related transition, and Easter, struggling to make phone calls, especially to certain people, but also how I am struggling to just reach out in general right now. I mention rearranging some space for the life-transition...

In this one, I have trouble focusing on what I want to talk about, because I was shaken up by a dream I had right before waking up. I talk a little about D&D, COVID-19 masking changes, and the dream. I also read a listener email. Thank you for writing in. As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned. If you want to share your sad life-happenings that feel invisible, especially because of the pandemic, you can email me at IDKPandemicPodcast@gmail.com. Feel...

In this one, I talk about feeling quiet, closer to feeling emotionally level despite feeling depressed and generally down. I talk briefly about the things that are probably weighing me down: weather changes, the war in Ukraine, medicine. I talk about writing and the writing group a little, and the kick I got out of Hulu’s miniseries The Dropout. Oh, and I share the poem I wrote a few weeks ago and chickened out of reading a few weeks ago. As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy...

This one is all about how Mom-Week went, what we did on the day of the anniversary, and how I’m tired of being sad, of feeling weighed down by grief, and getting messages that feel timely. I also mention suicidal thoughts, but just in passing. I talk about self-care and slowing down and trying to figure out how to get back to that. As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned. If you want to share your sad life-happenings that feel invisible, especially...

Depression, grief, a listener email, and I chicken out of sharing a poem this week – all spoke about while on a performance high from an exhilarating voice acting session. As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned. If you want to share your sad life-happenings that feel invisible, especially because of the pandemic, you can email me at IDKPandemicPodcast@gmail.com. Feel free to follow the podcast on Twitter: @IDKPandemicPod. I haven’t made time to...

This one is about feeling horrible and struggling with suicidal thoughts. Stuff doesn’t bring someone back from the dead, no matter how hard you hold on to the items, it won’t bring somebody back. Also, I’m clinging to what Vox Machina represents as much as I cling to Spider-Man. As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned. If you want to share your sad life-happenings that feel invisible, especially because of the pandemic, you can email me at...