The Reliants Project

In this episode, I speak with Pat Hiller. She was directly introduced to me by my mother’s friend. My mother and her friend are both active with At Home Alexandria, which describes themselves as a community for support, enrichment and fun for neighbors that are 55 and older. This episode covers topics that may be triggering for some people. [TW: SI, mention of su*c*de]. Pat had two, long, loving marriages, the first for more than 30 years and the second one just shy of 30. Unfortunately, she had to experience both of her husbands passing away, as well as several other people that were near and dear to her. She also had to deal with the impact that these deaths had on her and her family. She was kind enough to share her experience. In this episode we talk about:

In this episode, I speak with Khusraw Razbaan Ahmadzai. He is a friend and colleague of my partner. While I've had the pleasure of seeing him on zoom often, we've never actually met in person. Razbaan is a proud dad as well as a network and systems engineer. He spent his early childhood in Kabul, Afghanistan before moving to Islamabad, Pakistan during the civil war in the early 90s. He returned to Afghanistan in the early 2000s and eventually relocated to the US. In this episode we talk about:

In this episode, I speak with Karsang Tamang. We met when he approached me at Bamboo Lodge in the Langtang valley of Nepal and convinced me to hire his father as a porter. His father was a fantastic guide and I had the opportunity to meet his mother and other relatives in their village, Thulo Syafru. Karsang and his family grew up relatively poor by Nepalese standards. Eventually they had enough money for his father to build a house on land he inherited from his father. It's at the intersection of two popular trekking routes north of Kathmandu near the Tibetan border. On April 25th 2015 a 7.8 magnitude earthquake struck Nepal, which was the deadliest in over 80 years. This terrible natural disaster killed almost 9k, injured 22k and made an estimated 3.5M people homeless. Near Karsang's village in Langtang valley, it triggered an avalanche burying an entire village. Most of the buildings in Thulo Syafru were also destroyed. In this episode we talk about:

In this episode, I speak with Guang Ming Whitley. She is married to a friend of mine from university. He introduced me to her when I passed through Los Angeles on business many years ago. Guang Ming wears many hats. She's the CEO of the Whitley household and stayed home for many years to raise 4 wonderful children. She has written both fiction and non-fiction books. She is also an elected official in her local town council. Most recently, she co-founded Aenea, a mentorship program for young adults. In this episode we talk about:

In this episode, I speak with Max Dickins. He reached out to me directly on Twitter after seeing a post about The Reliants Project. Max is an Author, Playwright, Actor, Presenter & Comedian. His latest book is called Improvise, which helps people learn how to handle whatever comes their way at work using simple rules and techniques from improv. He is currently researching friendship and loneliness. In this episode we talk about:

In this episode, I speak with Nina Hobson. She reached out directly after seeing a post about The Reliants Project on LinkedIn. Nina is no stranger to relocation. She has lived in 10 countries on 4 continents and has moved countless times. She also writes The Expater, a blog that shares what it’s like to live abroad to help make it more accessible to others. In this episode we talk about:

In season 3, we’ll turn individuals who have experienced specific life events that shaped their networks. Some of these events will be very common, like getting engaged or having children. Some of them will be less common, like experiencing the death of a partner or being displaced by war. In each conversation, we’ll hear how that person dealth with that experience in their own words and what it has taught them about the role of relationships and community in their lives. One of the most common events that impact our networks is changing jobs. You need to step beyond your core network to weaker ties in order to access new opportunities. Those new roles also reshape your network. Steve jobs is famous for saying you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. Many people string together their past experiences into a convenient narrative that often masks the serendipity in their journey. Let me paint a picture of my professional journey so far through the lens of networks in order to help bring this idea to life.

In this episode, Georgie and I focus on conversations any of us might have when we are maintaining a relationship or hoping to harness it in support of a specific objective. These types of chats often happen when you have news to share or realise that the other person might be able to help you reach a goal. We call these 'maintenance' conversations because they help to maintain the relationship between two people. Georgie and I try out 3 different types of maintenance conversations in this episode

In this episode, Georgie and I focus on first-time conversations with someone when a specific context has been layed out. These types of chats often happen when you’ve been directly introduced to someone or have met someone because you are each representing organisations with a specific objective in mind. We still label these conversations as forming because there is an opportunity to build a relationship with the other person, but sometimes the context takes centre stage and you forget to explore other ways to connect meaningfully with them. Georgie and I try out 3 different ways of having the conversation with context: Like last time, we talk about what we noticed in the dialog after each example. We highlight the pros and cons of each strategy and how it might influence outcomes

In this episode, Georgie and I focus on first-time conversations when there’s very little context. These types of chats can happen when you’re standing in line somewhere or have been sent to a virtual breakout room at a conference. We call them forming conversations because there’s an opportunity to form a connection with the other person, but sometimes it’s hard to know where to start. With each example, try not to focus on the content on the conversation. Instead, notice what types of questions we ask, how we answer them, and how we connect one topic to another. We hope you identify things that you want to try next time you’re in the same situation. Georgie and I try out 3 different ways of kickstarting the conversation:

Thanks for joining this experiment! In between The Reliants Project regular podcast seasons, we’re going to start launching mini-series. This will allow us to explore specific topics in more depth, in collaboration with an expert from that space. For the next several episodes, I’ve joined forces with Georgie Nightingall from Trigger Conversations. Together, we will focus on a key ingredient to cultivating networks: conversations. In this episode we talk about:

During the second season of The Reliants Project podcast, we explored networks through the eyes of innovators and practitioners. They are using their intuition and experience in networks to build products and services. They are creating the tools and technologies to help us meet people, as well as helping us nurture relationships and cultivate our networks. In this episode I talk about:

Bilyana is the co-founder and CEO of Orbiit. Their service matches people within a network for 1-to-1 conversations on a specific topic. They help community managers systematically activate their communities through these types of conversations. The companies that use their service appreciate the value of increasing the interconnectivity within a network. In this episode we talk about:

Lynn is the founder and CEO of Pivt. Their service helps improve the well being of relocated employees and their families. They support people through the whole relocation process, from considering a new opportunity, planning the move, to aclimating to the new city, all grounded in the power of networks and social support. In this episode we talk about:

Connor Murphy has spent most of his career building both digital and institutional networks. At Datahug, Connor built what was described as 'LinkedIn on Steroids' for large enterprises like KPMG and Deloitte. With Bridge, he is building a tool to serve people he calls ‘connectors’ which allows them to help their network succeed, initially by helping them make better introductions. In this episode we talk about:

Zahra is the founder and CEO of Enrol Yourself. They organise Learning Marathons, which are 6 month peer-led learning programmes for adults. They also run year long training programs for peer-based learning facilitation. She is passionate about lifelong learning and the power of peer groups to support it. In this episode:

Stephen is the co-founder and CEO of Hi Right Now. They run virtual speed chat events for communities to help their members connect with each other. They only started a few months ago and have already connected 1,000s of people around the world. In this episode we talk about: -How his upbringing opened his eyes to the importance of networks -How COVID has impacted our ability to engage with those networks and meet new people -Why it’s attractive to people experiencing some form of transition -What the Hi right now experience is like and what makes it more accessible and inclusive -The difference between being an extrovert and being able to connect meaningfully with someone else -The impact that certain connections have had on his own life

Dr. Amar Dhand is a Neurologist and Social Scientist at Brigham and Women’s Hospital and Harvard Medical School. Currently, his work focuses on social networks and how they impact health outcomes. He is interested in creating a social network paradigm for clinical medicine. In this episode we:

In the first season, we explored how networks shape your wellbeing, relationships and community through the eyes of academics and researchers in the field of network science. We also learned some foundational principles of networks and how they shape us and the world around us. In season 2, we'll turn our focus to practicioners and innovators. They are using their intuition and experience in networks to build products, services and even communities. They are creating the tools and technologies to help us meet people, nuture relationships and cultivate our networks.

Many people go through life with a set of unconscious beliefs and biases about networks and relationships that don’t drive the outcomes they really want. These unconscious beliefs drive behaviours that have a huge impact on our wellbeing, relationships and community. In this episode, I wrap up Season 1 of The Reliants Project Podcast and examine ten unhelpful assumptions about relationships that I’ve come across in my own research and experience. Then I provide an alternative perspective for each which will help you live a more successful, connected and fulfilled life.