The Department of Variance of Somewhere, Ohio

Here it is, the end of season two! Olivia takes the long road back home. Yellow convinces Lapis that this is all completely normal. Violet leaves the Department while Jasmine and Scarlet prepare for what's to come. (CWs: alcohol, blood, worms) Check out our website for more info! Join our Patreon for early access! CREDITS: Cast of episode 10: Jess Syratt, Em Carlson, Tatiana Gefter, Cody Heath, Tal Minear, Maria Corcobado, Emily Kellogg. Art by NerdVolKurisu, episode promo art by Meredith Baird Written, scored, and edited by Rat Grimes. Transcripts available in episode notes at somewhereohio.com

Orange and Olivia finally meet, and the crew teams up to take down the Great Wurm. (CWs: worms, goo/slime, high pitched noises, discussion of depression) Check out our website for more info! Join our Patreon for early access! CREDITS: Cast of episode 9: Jess Syratt, Em Carlson, Tatiana Gefter, Cody Heath, Maria Corcobado. Art by NerdVolKurisu, episode promo art by Meredith Baird Written, scored, and edited by Rat Grimes. Transcripts available in episode notes at somewhereohio.com

Olivia figures out where she is. Orange has a vision of the future, and follows Nya into the dark. (CWs: Blood, body horror, worms, squishing sounds, alcohol) Check out our website for more info! Join our Patreon for early access! CREDITS: Cast of episode 7: Jess Syratt, Em Carlson, Tatiana Gefter, Cody Heath, Maria Corcobado. Art by NerdVolKurisu, episode promo art by Meredith Baird Written, scored, and edited by Rat Grimes. Transcripts available in episode notes at somewhereohio.com

Two low-level employees check up on the librarian in the present. Olivia, Alex, and Nadia prepare to escape the nightmare of the past. Two Primaries discuss the Department's future. Sterling and Green put an end to the charade. (CWs: death mentioned, derealization, worms) Check out our website for more info! Join our Patreon for early access! CREDITS: Cast of episode 7: Jess Syratt, Em Carlson, Tatiana Gefter, Rae Lundberg, Caleb Zane Huett, Shannon Strucci, Sean Pellington, William A Wellman, Ray O'Hare, and Michi Zaya. Art by NerdVolKurisu, episode promo art by Meredith Baird Written, scored, edited, and narrated by Rat Grimes. Transcripts available in episode notes at somewhereohio.com

Orange has a rough night, but a strange new ally gives them direction. Olivia, Alex, and Nadia try to escape the creepy mall. Sterling and Green have a dinner date. (CWs: blood, violence, body horror, alcohol, smoking, worms, derealization) Check out our website for more info! Join our Patreon for early access! CREDITS: Cast of episode 6: Jess Syratt, Em Carlson, Tatiana Gefter, Rae Lundberg, Cody Heath, Maria Corcobado, Sean Pellington, William A Wellman, and Lilly Chau. Art by NerdVolKurisu, episode promo art by Meredith Baird Written, scored, edited, and narrated by Rat Grimes. Transcripts available in episode notes at somewhereohio.com

Olivia, Alex, and Nadia find a mall in the middle of the woods. They suspect it's abandoned, but it turns out there's something still alive within. (CWs: blood, body horror, organs, alcohol, food, chewing/mouth full fx [1 time], worms) Check out our website for more info! Join our Patreon for early access! CREDITS: Cast of episode 5: Jesse Syratt, Em Carlson, Tatiana Gefter, Rat Grimes. Art by NerdVolKurisu Written, scored, edited, and narrated by Rat Grimes. Transcripts available in episode notes at somewhereohio.com

Olivia wakes up after the altercation in the planetarium and learns what went down. Orange talks with the locals and does some light editing. Nadia discovers something about herself. (CWs: mild homophobia, death, blood, body horror, high pitched feedback) Check out our website for more info! Join our Patreon for early access! CREDITS: Cast of episode 4: Jesse Syratt, Em Carlson, Tatiana Gefter, Aubrey Akers, Saph the Something, Taylor Michaels, Meredith Baird Art by NerdVolKurisu Written, scored, edited, and narrated by Rat Grimes. Transcripts available in episode notes at somewhereohio.com

Olivia and the gang find the planetarium, where they learn more about what's going on in the woods. Green and Sterling have a chat at the airport. (CWs: blood, gore, death, parasitism, alcohol and weed mentioned, muffled audio) Check out our website for more info! Join our Patreon for early access! CREDITS: Cast of episode 3: Jesse Syratt, Em Carlson, Tatiana Gefter, Dexter Howard, Rae Lundberg Art by NerdVolKurisu Written, scored, edited, and narrated by Rat Grimes. Transcripts available in episode notes at somewhereohio.com

After the startling discovery at the end of the last episode, the four friends venture deeper into the woods. In the sweltering night, they find an unexpected ally and a new enemy. (CWs: smoking, food, body horror, some gore, worms) Check out our website for more info! Join our Patreon for early access! CREDITS: Cast of episode 2: Jesse Syratt, Em Carlson, Tatiana Gefter, Dexter Howard, Mystic Waterz. Art by NerdVolKurisu Written, scored, edited, and narrated by Rat Grimes. Transcripts available in episode notes at somewhereohio.com

Jasmine Control, a new hire at a shady governmental agency called The Department of Variance, went through an extended supernatural orientation that ended with her manager, Yellow Access, trying to meld the minds of every worker in the office. To save her friend Scarlet Jaunt from death at the hands of her new boss, Jasmine used her newly discovered psychic abilities to jump into the past, to a point where Scarlet was alive. She miscalculated, and now she’s stuck in Scarlet’s memories from 10 years ago. This season picks up with Jasmine, Scarlet, Violet, and Daryll visiting the woods to see a lunar eclipse after their senior year of high school, ten years prior to the events of season one. But something else is lurking in the woods with them. Something…midwestern. The friends will have to figure out what’s going on and put a stop to it if they ever want to escape, and if Jasmine ever wants to return to her normal life. Check out our website for more info! Join our Patreon for early access! CREDITS: Cast of episode 1: Cody Heath, Jesse Syratt, Em Carlson, Tatiana Gefter, Dexter Howard, Lena Garcia. Art by NerdVolKurisu Written, scored, edited, and narrated by Rat Grimes. Transcripts available in episode notes at somewhereohio.com (CWs: alcohol, food, smoking, derealization) ___ TRANSCRIPT: ORANGE: It’s just as Green said: the stairway to heaven is always moving. I figured I was on the first step when I heard the cat in the diner. I was heading to a little city in Michigan. I know, I know; “Orange Splice? In the field? Shouldn’t you be behind a desk at the Commission signing off on quarterlies?” But on some cases I can’t help myself. I can tell you that Red’s disciplinary report’s gonna have a lot of Orange in it. So this little city in Michigan, an industrial husk of a place. Full of slick palms and the poor souls wriggling between their fingers. I packed my bag and blew the joint. I slept in my rumbling hatchback on the way, and I ate and bathed as the great American trucker does. As I crested the overpass bend on the final leg of the drive, I saw a city blooming with rot. Squat brick piles wheezing into the streets, oily sunlight, cars bleeding rust into the earth. Plumes of gray hovered over the place, like cotton soaked with kerosene. One little spark and the whole thing could blow. Maybe we’d all be better off if it did. Maybe we’re better off forgetting places like this. Scooping out what little’s worth saving and dumping the rest. Writing them off as a loss–another failure in the long lineage of midwestern decline. Or maybe it’s not that simple. I wasn’t going to Deerland to set it ablaze, after all. I was being led there for something else. And so I rode up through the boiling roadkill highways of vulture county, past towns so small you could hear every single prayer on a quiet night. By antique malls decked with the heraldry of genocide. Under billboards letting you know you’re fucked before you even get there: Hell is real, and it’s about 25 miles that way. I was going up there to find Olivia, now designated Jasmine Control by the Department. First saw her face on a milk carton, and I didn’t even know they still did that. Maybe they don’t. I slid downstairs that morning in a haze, a little box of strawberry milk I’d bought from the grocer in my hand. The milk itself didn’t last long. I turned the empty carton over in my hand, then unfolded and tore open the bottom. I held it up to my ear and listened for the ocean. *sounds as room ambience becomes waves and various sounds* ORANGE: I heard through and beyond the carton, through my wall and the early pink light outside, through misty pines and hundreds of miles of the big flat nothing. Through and before my life, and after too, and into a hip spot in Deerland, a coffeeshop on the corner that used to be three apartments. The tip jar on the counter was a glass milk jug filled with quarters and crumpled singles. And taped to the side was a photo and one...

Season 2 of the Department of Variance of Somewhere, Ohio will begin December 6, 2023! Subscribe wherever you get podcasts, or visit our website to listen. If you want each episode one week early, subscribe to our patreon!

This week, we're releasing a play session of the upcoming indie tabletop game Triangle Agency by Haunted Table Games, starring the voices of Scarlet (Em Carlson), Violet (Tatiana Gefter), Green (William A. Wellman), and Fern Daemon (Taylor Michaels), and it's GMed by one of the creators, Caleb Zane Huett. Follow these supernatural office workers as they try to avoid standing out at a frat party and attempt to contain three dangerous anomalies disguised therein. It's not directly related to the Department of Variance, but the game is heavily inspired by Control (like the DoV), and has related vibes. I also wanted to spotlight another great indie creator in a similar genre, even if it's a different medium. There's no transcript quite yet. I'm working on it, but since there's no base script to work from, it takes a LOT longer. Don't forget to check out their crowdfunding campaign! Trascript available here! *** CWs, some spoilers: alcohol, animal death (supernatural entity in the form of a dog)

Jasmine and Scarlet reach the lobby, where they find someone missing and confront the real antagonist. Jasmine receives a call. The end is the beginning is the end. (CWs: guns, bullying, implied homophobia, death) Check out our website for transcripts and more info! Join our Patreon for early access and more! See our Carrd for social media links and more! CREDITS: Cast, in order of appearance: Jesse Syratt, Em Carlson, Emily Kellogg, Shaun Pellington, Justin Hatch, William A. Wellman, Tatiana Gefter, Saph the Something, Taylor Michaels, and special guest Shannon Strucci. Art by NerdVolKurisu Written, scored, edited, and narrated by Rat Grimes. Find Under the Electric Stars at undertheelectricstars.com, their twitter, and their tumblr!

Gabe returns to help Jasmine, Scarlet, and Violet get to Sterling’s lab. Jasmine makes a startling discovery, and Sterling makes a hard choice. It’s all down from here. (CWs: insects, insect noises, fire, death, strong language) Check out our website for transcripts and more info! Join our Patreon for early access and more! See our Carrd for social media links and more! CREDITS: Cast, in order of appearance: Jesse Syratt, Em Carlson, Emily Kellogg, Shaun Pellington, Justin Hatch, William A. Wellman, Tatiana Gefter, Saph the Something, Taylor Michaels, and special guest Shannon Strucci. Art by NerdVolKurisu Written, scored, edited, and narrated by Rat Grimes.

Jasmine, Scarlet, and Violet navigate the Library Maze, with some assistance from the librarian. (CWs: depression, death, guns, injury, fire, strong language, mentioning vomit) Check out our website for transcripts and more info! Join our Patreon for early access and more! See our Carrd for social media links and more! CREDITS: Cast, in order of appearance: Jesse Syratt, Em Carlson, Emily Kellogg, Shaun Pellington, Justin Hatch, William A. Wellman, Tatiana Gefter, Saph the Something, Taylor Michaels, and special guest Shannon Strucci. Art by NerdVolKurisu Written, scored, edited, and narrated by Rat Grimes.

Some months before the incident, Scarlet, Violet, Lapis, and Copper View play a tabletop game with Fern Daemon, head of IT. A tense game leads to a couple parting ways. (CWs: death, guns, food, unwanted flirting) Check out our website for more info and transcripts! Join our Patreon for early access! See our Carrd for social media links and more! Extra music: EP 11: Medieval Loop One by Alexander Nakarada | https://www.serpentsoundstudios.com Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0) Battle Of The Creek by Alexander Nakarada | https://www.serpentsoundstudios.com Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0) The Streets Of Prague by Alexander Nakarada | https://www.serpentsoundstudios.com Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0)

Jasmine and Violet watch some movies, Scarlet continues her search with help from Lapis, and the motivations behind this new hire are revealed. (CWs: weapons, worms, body horror) Check out our website for more info! Join our Patreon for early access! See our Carrd for social media links and more! CREDITS: Cast, in order of appearance: Jesse Syratt, Em Carlson, Emily Kellogg, Shaun Pellington, Justin Hatch, William A. Wellman, Tatiana Gefter, Saph the Something, Taylor Michaels, and special guest Shannon Strucci. Art by NerdVolKurisu Written, scored, edited, and narrated by Rat Grimes. Transcripts available in episode notes at somewhereohio.com

Scarlet is determined to find Jasmine and get out together. Sterling’s not in control. Scarlet confronts a fascist nightmare. A student reveals what she’s learned to her teacher. (CWs: voice modulation, death mentions, body horror, guns, food, strong language) Check out our website for more info! Join our Patreon for early access! See our Carrd for social media links and more! Hell Gate City is streaming now at http://hellgatecity.com In this award-winning comedy fiction podcast, a radio jockey in the future uses a newfangled device to live-stream his nightmares for ratings. All hell breaks loose. CREDITS: Cast, in order of appearance: Jesse Syratt, Em Carlson, Emily Kellogg, Shaun Pellington, Justin Hatch, William A. Wellman, Tatiana Gefter, Saph the Something, Taylor Michaels, and special guest Shannon Strucci. Art by NerdVolKurisu Written, scored, edited, and narrated by Rat Grimes. Transcripts available in episode notes at somewhereohio.com

Jasmine loses contact with Scarlet. Violet helps Jasmine navigate the Dead Letter Office overflow storage (or doesn’t), and Jasmine meets an Operator. Now the game is up. (CWs: cops, food, relationship discussions, body horror, psychedelics mention) Check out our website for more info! Join our Patreon for early access! See our Carrd for social media links and more! Hell Gate City is streaming now at http://hellgatecity.com In this award-winning comedy fiction podcast, a radio jockey in the future uses a newfangled device to live-stream his nightmares for ratings. All hell breaks loose. CREDITS: Cast, in order of appearance: Jesse Syratt, Em Carlson, Emily Kellogg, Shaun Pellington, Justin Hatch, William A. Wellman, Tatiana Gefter, Saph the Something, Taylor Michaels, and special guest Shannon Strucci. Art by NerdVolKurisu Written, scored, edited, and narrated by Rat Grimes. Transcripts available in episode notes at somewhereohio.com

Chased by a faceless terror, Jasmine has to take a jaunt. Scarlet and Jasmine talk horror and fun. Jasmine takes a dip, and Violet answers Sterling’s call. (CWs: water, food, body horror, blood, strong language). Check out our website for more info! Join our Patreon for early access! See our Carrd for social media links and more! CREDITS: Cast, in order of appearance: Jesse Syratt, Em Carlson, Emily Kellogg, Shaun Pellington, Justin Hatch, William A. Wellman, Tatiana Gefter, Saph the Something, Taylor Michaels, and special guest Shannon Strucci. Art by NerdVolKurisu Written, scored, edited, and narrated by Rat Grimes. Transcripts available in episode notes at somewhereohio.com