Sexual Assault Survivor Stories

Kelly and I have a few things in common: our admiration and support of the mission of Project Callisto, and our belief that normalizing the converstation around rape and sexual assault will help reduce the prevalence of rape culture. With regard to Callisto: I won’t go into the full explanation of how Callisto works, you can find out that information on their website; but suffice it to say that Callisto is a platform built for victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault to anonymously provide information about their perpetrator into an encrypted vault system to match victims to a common, thus serial, rapist or sex offender. What the common victims of the offender do with that match is up to them. But…it is empowering. And reportedly the system is increasing the arrest and prosecution rate of serial offenders. You can imagine for yourself the impact this is having on both the survivor community, as well as our society as a whole. It’s an effective and powerful tool for addressing the rape culture that exists in this country. But right now, Callisto is only available to people who have a “.edu” email address. What is needed is additional funding to make Project Callisto a platform that anyone can use. Can you imagine the impact on reducing the prevalence of rape and sexual assault in our country alone? It would be massive! Kelly is a strong survivor of multiple rapes over the span of several years of her life. And she has zealous passion to see Callisto expand to everyone. So, she started her own non-profit organization for that very purpose: helping to raise the money necessary to expand Callisto and help provide the benefits of Callisto to anyone and everyone who wants to utilize the system. But Kelly also realizes that a component of raising awareness about Project Callisto and how empowering that platform is, comes from the strength of individuals having a safe space to gather in order to tell their stories of being raped and sexually assaulted. Kelly and I refer to that process as “normalizing the conversation.” When I found out about The Justus Project and Kelly Justus, it was logical and critical to ask her to be a guest on this podcast. She accepted immediately. And this is her episode. Please listen to Kelly’s story. And then share it. Because she recognizes how important it is for thousands of people to hear her story in order to become inspired to give to Project Callisto. Both she and I would greatly appreciate your donations to Callisto if you are in a financial position to do so. If not, no worries; do your part by sharing this episode with everyone you know. And not just this episode, but all episodes of this show!...share the podcast! Please take the time to rate and subscribe to this show if you haven’t already done so…every little bit helps in making this podcast grow. This is an important aspect to helping bring justice to victims and survivors of rape or sexual assault, because this podcast is a safe space for them to share their stories, support each other on our healing journeys, and provide education and focus on learning ways to help curb the prevalence of rape and sexual assault in our communities. Thank you for your help in this cause, and for your loyalty in listening to this show! Here are some links and information that I hope you’ll look at and share:

Having Roger Canaff join me on this show has long been a goal, and I finally was able to reconnect with this former colleague. I met Roger when I was working for the US Army in a position known as a Highly Qualified Expert for the Criminal Investigation Command (known as CID-Criminal Investigation Division). Part of my job was co-managing a 2-week Special Victims Unit Investigation Course (SVUIC), conducted at Ft. Leonard Wood, Missouri, and at the Federal Law Enforcement Training Center (FLETC) in Brunswick, GA. Roger was also hired by the Army as an HQE, with the Judge Advocate General’s Corps (JAG Corps). Prior to his appointment as an HQE Roger had been working as a sexual assault prosecutor in several different jurisdictions and capacities. I had the great fortune of meeting Roger in his HQE capacity and invited him to teach several iterations of the SVUIC at both Ft. Leonard Wood and at FLETC. Roger graciously agreed to teach, and he and I became friends, and remain so to this day. It wasn’t difficult to find common ground with Roger during this episode, and I asked him questions on numerous topics from his perspectives on prosecuting sexual assault cases to the importance of being trauma informed, both as a prosecutor and as a victim/survivor of sexual assault or rape, to his impressions of the impact of the #MeToo movement. I don’t think it matters what your job is, or what your knowledge base is concerning sexual assault or rape…Roger’s insights, experience, and perspectives on all of these topics are informative and helpful in grasping the urgency and importance of prosecuting rape and sexual assault. Please take the time to rate and subscribe to this show if you haven’t already done so…every little bit helps in making this podcast grow. This is an important aspect to helping bring justice to victims and survivors of rape or sexual assault, because this podcast is a safe space for them to share their stories, support each other on our healing journeys, and provide education and focus on learning ways to help curb the prevalence of rape and sexual assault in our communities. Thank you for your help in this cause, and for your loyalty in listening to this show! Here are some links and information that I hope you’ll look at and share:

Hey there SASS listeners…this is a special edition episode of SASS to ask for your help… If ever there was someone in need of our financial help, one of our own SASS family members, Cassie Nicholas, is currently that one! Most of you have heard Cassie's two episodes here on SASS and know of the horrific circumstances she has endured throughout her life—not only regarding the rapes and sexual assaults she has endured, but also the immense psychological and physical abuses of being trafficked. Cassie now faces even more trauma!...in the middle of April, Cassie’s car overheated and caught fire. She managed to escape without injury to herself, but almost everything Cassie owns was in that car. It’s all gone now. She is without transportation and permanent shelter. A friend of Cassie has set up a GoFundMe campaign for her so that Cassie can purchase a new vehicle (something that she can also call home, hopefully!), as well as new clothing, her personal-care items, and sustenance to keep doing what she does best: helping others! It’s our turn to help Cassie! You can read more about Cassie and her situation, as well as donate to her fundraiser And I would also encourage you to listen to Cassie’s two episodes on Sexual Assault Survivor Stories…Episodes 36 and 81. In these two episodes you’ll learn more about Cassie’s amazing heart and compassion, and more fully understand the situation that Cassie is now in. Please, please donate as much as you possibly can! https://gofund.me/dc4908cf

When it came to healing from her rape by Jeffrey Epstein there first had to be a realization by Jess Michaels that she was raped. Because, Jess had been taught by society and the culture of the 90’s that what had happened to her must not have really been rape…she hadn’t screamed, she didn’t try to fight him, she hadn’t even tried to push him off her—she didn’t do anything that would, in her mind, have been the response of someone who was being raped; she just froze. But she knew something was wrong. She felt it. Her life routines, her world view, and her new, misunderstood feelings of fear…all reflected that she had been through a severe trauma. But she had trouble understanding any of it. None of what Jess lived through after her rape is abnormal. Millions of people experience the commonalities of rape trauma. It’s part of why I am inviting rape and sexual assault victims and survivors to be on this show, so that other victims and survivors will learn that you are not alone in what you are experiencing. And it’s why Jess agreed to be here with me; to share her story of both the impact of her rape, and the exhilaration of getting past it and healing to the point of being able to help others. Jess is helping bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault. And as part of that mission, Jess and her team are working to build an app called 3J’s Sexual Assault First Aid Kit, providing an interactive learning experience for what to do when someone says, “me too.” I want to help make Jess Michaels a name that everyone recognizes and celebrates as a person who is much, much more than just a Jeffrey Epstein rape survivor…she is a force for justice and for healing for others who have experienced rape or sexual assault. And I want people to know she is available to tell her story, and to speak out about what it means to recognize that rape and sexual assault are injuries that need to be treated with compassion, understanding, and by being believed. This approach needs to happen before victims can begin to help the criminal justice system bring offenders to justice; before they can be expected to tell their story in a concise, chronological, and focused way. Jess is available to present her story and her mission. You can find out more about Jess’ speaking engagement opportunities by reading and exploring her website, which is listed below. Thank you for listening to this episode. Now, I need you to do more: share the episode with everyone you know. And keep doing your part to help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault when you hear their story: Start By Believing. There’s much to learn about this program, too, and there’s a site listed below that will help you do just that. It’s important because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. Here are some links and sites I would encourage you to check out and support:

It’s difficult to imagine having a bright future with a life full of promise, fame, and prestige, living that life doing exactly what you were wanting to do: dancing, modeling, acting, singing, and a career trajectory that was leading to Broadway and world travel and fame on July 8, 1991…and then on July 9, 1991, having it all stomped out in just a few minutes by a man whose only goal was to rape. That’s what Jeffrey Epstein did to Jessica Michaels. Jessica barely knew Jeffrey Epstein. She had only met him briefly to talk about the possibility of working for him doing massage; when he invited her to his home just a few days later, she was pretty sure she had the job. But that second encounter went from a bizarre meeting of providing him with a massage, to him forcefully raping Jess. At that moment, her life caved in on her, putting her in a 27-year state of emotional dissociation and bodily illnesses and adrenal fatigue syndrome that enveloped her life, nearly destroying her physically. Jess did what she could to survive, including teaching dance. But then even more devasting trauma stuck her and her small town when several of her dance students were murdered in the Sandy Hook Elementary mass shooting. It’s strange, but that tragedy set Jess on her path of healing. Healing from the shooting trauma, and healing from the rape trauma. And it also put her on a path of helping others heal from their sexual trauma. The story is more than incredible; it’s phenomenal. Listen to Jess tell her story of devastating rape and astounding healing. Then, do your part to help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault by sharing this episode with everyone you know. The growth of this podcast is dependent on listeners doing just that: sharing episodes and encouraging others to listen. Another way to help provide justice is to Start By Believing. If you don’t know what that phrase means, you can learn more . And yet another way is to learn more about and promote Jess’ work on Sexual Assault First Aid, a mobile app she is helping to design and promote. There’s so much work to be done to push this world towards the vision of eliminating rape and sexual assault. And while the realist in me believes that this goal isn’t really possible, the optimist in me says that we can all work together to significantly reduce the prevalence of these devastating crimes and help bring justice to victims and survivors. This is important because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault, even though we may not know it. Please do your part. You have my sincere appreciation. Here are some links and sites I would encourage you to check out and support:

It was only two weeks ago that I had Anne Winslow on this show to talk about her new role as Co-Executive Director of the Sexual Assault Advocacy Network, SAAN, an online community of advocates, victims, and survivors of rape and sexual assault. During our discussion, Anne mentioned that the former Executive Director of SAAN was Dr. Lori Pitts, who is now Anne’s life coach and healing guide, and someone about whom Anne couldn’t say enough good things. (Dr. Lori is the founder and Executive Director of .) After our recording session, before Anne could even tell me that I should consider having Dr. Lori on my show, I had already decided that I would extend an invitation to her requesting that she consider being a guest. But before I could get that email sent, I received an email from Dr. Lori telling me how much she enjoyed listening to Anne’s two SASS episodes, and that she, too, had experienced sexual assault and was willing to share her story on my show. It was a done deal. We talked that same week in a brief “get-to-know-you” conversation and set the date for the show recording. I hope you get the same feeling of assurance, calm, and in-depth sense of direction for your healing as I did from just this one-hour visit with Dr. Lori. This is an incredible episode. Part of Dr. Lori’s fascinating story of being sexually assaulted at age five, is the fact that her perpetrator, a family member, was arrested for that crime, and served 18 years in prison. Upon his release, one of the conditions of his parole was a no-contact provision with Lori…but, as you might have guessed, he violated that condition shortly after his release. Lori was terrified. She immediately reached out to her mother asking for help in responding to this unwanted contact. Her mother, very wisely, told Lori that when she was a little girl there was nothing that she could do to help herself from being victimized by this offender. But now, she wasn’t a little girl any longer, and that she needed to do what she should do to help herself. I’ll let you listen to the episode to find out what happened, but Dr. Lori said it was life changing. That is just one of the incredible stories that Dr. Lori shared with me in this episode. As I reflect on our discussion, I am more and more convinced that this is one of my most powerful episodes, and that knowing Dr. Lori is going to be one of the more powerful friendships I’ll have in my life. I trust that you’ll have that same feeling…just knowing that she’s there for you to reach out should be comforting and restorative. Maybe you’ll even end up as one of her clients! After you’ve listened to this episode, please do me the favor of giving this show a 5-star rating and, if you’re inclined to do so, leave me a favorable comment about the show. Another favor I’d be very appreciative of would be for you to share this episode, or any of my 81 other episodes, with everyone you can think of. Anyone can benefit from this podcast…you don’t have to be a rape or sexual assault victim or survivor to gain knowledge and possibly a whole new view of what rape and sexual assault really is, and the offender dynamics and victim/survivor impacts, and how the rape culture in our society can be impacted even by you. It is as simple as taking the initiative to Start By Believing. Because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. Thank you for tuning in. Here are some links and information I would appreciate you looking at and taking an interest in:

Recording this episode was a fantastic experience...I was fortunate to have my guest, Cassie Nicholas, join me in the studio! It’s not often that this occurs, as most of my guests are long distances from St. George, UT. But Cassie is staying in a nearby city and was willing to drive into town to record this episode. It was a real delight that we got to see each other in the sense that it was awesome to get caught up on our almost year-long friendship; a friendship that started when Cassie emailed me in June of 2023, asking to be a part of this podcast. (Listening to her previous episode (Episode 36) isn’t a prerequisite to listening to this week’s episode, but it would help put some of Cassie’s dark, painful history into perspective.) It was kind of Cassie to agree to do a follow-up episode with me this week, but the truly powerful aspect of getting together with Cassie, was to meet her in person and experience first-hand her remarkable personality, wit, humor, and deep, deep caring that she has toward all she encounters. See, Cassie is a people person. And I knew that from talking with her last year, but to be in her presence is to feel that powerful energy and love. Cassie’s childhood was nothing short of horrific. For as far back as she could remember, her father trafficked her to area doctors, business owners, and land barons in and around the small Apalachin town where she grew up in West Virginia. She has no specific memories of the actual rapes, only faces, back rooms, locked doors, pain, and secrets. And to exacerbate the situation, Cassie was constantly physically and emotionally assaulted by her father. He punished her for things he did to her. Further, she had to endure the knowledge that he was doing the same things to Cassie’s older sister who was totally physically and mentally disabled. Cassie carried that grief while doing her best to take care of her sister’s physical and emotional needs, loving her dearly, while agonizing in the physical, emotional, and mental knowledge of the sexual assaults of herself and her sister. Cassie’s mother was a loving and caring mom but she knew nothing of the sexual assaults and rapes that her husband was facilitating on her daughters. Until, one day, she found out, and as a result Cassie’s father eventually poisoned her to death so he could continue doing what he wanted to do with his daughters. It was hard to hard hear how Cassie had, over the last year, developed new memories of her childhood sexual assault experiences. One was of being hunted in the woods by men who had paid her father for that horrific happening so that they could catch her and violently rape her. And then, when she made her way home, her father punished her for being with men out in the woods. But Cassie also told me of the many ways that she has developed coping mechanisms and self-therapy techniques that are helping to heal her from her traumatic experiences. The pain and trauma memories continue, but so does the healing. And Cassie is happy. And she doesn’t suffer from depression, or from the suicide attempts and ideation like she did in the not-too-distant past. It is fascinating intriguing to listen to Cassie; and I could go on and on telling you of Cassie’s successes, but I’d rather you listen to this episode, and hear all about it from Cassie herself. Then, when you’ve finished listening, tell others to listen. We need to have more participation in the telling and listening of stories like Cassie’s. We need to normalize these conversations in order to help reduce the prevalence of child and adult sexual assault and rape. I would greatly appreciate you taking the time to rate this episode and subscribe to Sexual Assault Survivor Stories. I would also appreciate your comments, both in the episode comments, and if you’d like, by emailing me and telling me your thoughts about the show…how it has impacted your life or the life of someone you know. And, as you’ll hear in the episode, Cassie would love to...

The last time Anne was on this show was just over a year ago. She shared with us her harrowing story of enduring almost 30 years of intrafamilial rape as well as marital domestic violence and rape. Yet, despite all of that, Anne managed to become one the most softspoken advocates for others who’ve endured similar experiences as she advocated and guided others through her outreach with the Sexual Assault Advocacy Network (SAAN). She continues to work with that amazing organization, except that now, she does so in the position of Co-Director! Anne also explains in this episode that she is deeply involved with the other administrators of that group in becoming an non-profit organization! She describes how SAAN had its roots in providing a community support for sexual assault victim advocates during the COVID lock-down, but that now the focus of the organization is geared much more toward victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault. And Anne said that once the non-profit status is obtained, their goal will be to have a SAAN chapter in every state! Anne talked to me about the growth that she personally has experienced since her last visit, and how she attributes that to her writing, her participation with the community of SAAN, and her group therapy sessions. But she also told me that much of her strength comes from her faith-based beliefs and the fact that she has found a church community that allows for an interpretation of religious beliefs that communicates to her in unique ways…. ways that speak of an understanding, caring, and loving higher power that brings influence to her victimhood, promoting healing and community. Through all of this, Anne also discussed her vision of a trauma treatment facility that she hopes will be a place of bodily healing from the impacts of rape and sexual assault. Listen to her in this episode as she describes all that she envisions this facility to be…you will be amazed! It’s Sexual Assault Awareness Month…thank you for tuning in again to Sexual Assault Survivor Stories, and for your loyalty to this program. Part of supporting SAAM is what you do to help this podcast grow. Your help in telling others about this podcast is having a tremendous impact, but I still need more people to be informed that this podcast exists. Because what this podcast is doing for you, my listeners, is profoundly helpful in bringing strength and growth to other victims and survivors who are intent on healing and growing and find this show to be a helpful and cathartic element in that journey. So, keep spreading the word that SASS is here…wherever you find your podcasts! Also, please continue to do your part to Start By Believing. This campaign is critical in bringing justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault. Here are a few websites that Anne Winslow and I would like you to visit!

Some communities are safe harbors of individuals who identify as an assemblage who have known each other for a long time…grown together, supported each other, learned together…who have the common denominator of having gone through the same things together, particularly school. Such was the case for Ray Epstein as she progressed through a very small elementary school and middle school. Her friends and classmates were people with whom she grew up…she knew all of them and they all knew her. And while she never considered herself part of the popular group because, as she saw it, she was a quiet girl who “was at the bottom of the food chain,” she still had friends and she was part of the group. But that all changed when she was in seventh grade and a “new kid” transferred into her class. He was someone everyone flocked to; he was “shiny and new,” and everyone wanted to be his friend. Everyone except Ray. Because she was reserved and quiet, she figured he wouldn’t be interested in her, so she didn’t even try to get to know him or hang around with him. She thought he would never even notice her. But that wasn’t the case…he started talking to her and sending her notes. Before she knew it, she was involved in a sort of clandestine relationship with this person—he’d talk to her and spend time with her when they were on the way home from school, and away from the school, but he acted like he didn’t know her when they were at school. And soon he convinced her that she needed to start self-harming, as he was, and that if she didn’t do so, he would quit being her friend, break up with her, or kill himself. Not long after that he started forcing her into sexual contact. What followed was a harrowing relationship that escalated into sexual violence, and then death threats. This story is shocking. And important to hear. Important because Ray isn’t the only person that has been affected by people like the perpetrator in this horrific story. We need to start talking more about these types of relationships. Talking about them, exposing them, and dealing with these malicious, controlling, and extremely damaging relationships that harm in deeply disturbing ways. That’s the only way we, as a society, will change the culture. Fortunately for Ray, she was directed by her mother to an organization that helped teens in troubled, harmful relationships. Ray’s life and worldview was exposed to a profoundly supportive and therapeutic organization that helped Ray see that she wasn’t alone. And that there was hope and healing. Ray said that the Break the Cycle organization in Washington DC was life changing. And she said that since her experience with them, she knew that she wanted to be involved in sexual assault prevention activism. And she has been. Two years ago Ray re-started the defunct Student Activists Against Sexual Assault, a chapter of the Take Back The Night Foundation, on the Temple University campus. SAASA is a 500+ person-strong organization under the leadership of Ray. In addition, Ray is a supporter and vocal advocate of Project Callisto, another organization dedicated to ending sexual assault: “Callisto leverages cutting-edge encryption technology to empower campus survivors, provide a safe alternative to reporting, and increase the likelihood that serial offenders will be held accountable. Our proprietary system, Callisto Vault, allows survivors to create a timestamped record of their assault and/or match with others harmed by the same perpetrator.” (Project Callisto website homepage; ) Ray Epstein refused to let her perpetrator continue to manipulate her, nor does she allow her past sexual assaults and rape to define her. Rather, Ray tells her story to inform and educate as part of her ongoing activism to preventing sexual assault and rape, and to help bring justice to victims and survivors by empowering them through her story. Ray is a force. And Sexual Assault Survivor Stories is honored to have her as part of our family of survivors....

As promised in January, Caroline Markel is back for her monthly episode on SASS. Caroline Markel (no relation to myself, at least that we know of!) is the CEO of Safe in Harm’s Way, a non-profit organization dedicated to “providing online trauma-informed resources to survivors, their children, and pets, while identifying the unique needs based on race and identification.” (source: SafeinHarmsWay.org website homepage). This month, Caroline shares the purpose and mission behind Safe’s in Harm’s Way, while also giving us even more insight into the reason she started this organization: her own rape and trafficking nightmare at the hands of her fiancé. Caroline struggled for months to find housing, and to get a foothold on what would eventually become her new life—creating a thriving non-profit to help others who find themselves at the crossroads of a new life, but without the frustration and fears of finding shelter and resources to start their new lives. Caroline and I discuss the multitude of dynamics on being a victim and survivor, and what it’s like to be on that healing journey, with the importance of being involved with an organization that is trauma informed. Safe in Harm’s Way is always looking to provide resources through vigorous advertising and social media campaigns all over the country. To do so requires a great amount of funding and support. If you are in a place where you could provide any amount of monetary support, please go to , and look for the donate button. Your help will go to providing advocacy, lodging, and many other forms of assistance to victims and survivors of interpersonal violence, including domestic violence, rape, and sexual assault. And your donation would be greatly appreciated! As always, Sexual Assault Survivor Stories reminds you to do your part to help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault; one way you can do this is to…Start By Believing. Because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. (SASS is in alignment with EVAWI’s Start By Believing campaign, and believes that it is a crucial aspect to being trauma informed in interviewing and investigating in cases of interpersonal violence.) Here are some resources to help you understand more about bringing just to victims and survivors, as well as what it means to be trauma informed: #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed #safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #ashforduniversity #amandacoleman #remembermolly #fightrapeculture #forcescience

When long lost memories, suppressed for decades through fear and dissociative amnesia, start to surface in the cognitive mind, the results can lead to frustration and confusion over what the memories stem from. Emotional trauma survivors often spend an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out the cause and meaning of these memories that are often accompanied by unexplained compulsive or habitual behaviors, somatic symptoms and illnesses, hyperawareness, intrusive thoughts that don’t make sense, nightmares, and startling emotional responses to bewildering activators, or triggers. All of this can lead to a compounding of emotional, physical, and relationship issues. All of this is not uncommon at all. And a big contributor to these types of psychophysiological trauma issues are rape and sexual assault. In this episode I’m joined by a SASS listener who emailed me about the fact that her decades-old rape memories suddenly surfaced. Angela Galbreath wrote to tell me that the SASS podcast was “a lifeline” for her when these memories arose as a series of catalysts emerged: a calm, stable lifestyle, reading materials that came into her hands at work talking about violence prevention for women and girls, and a television series that had an episode that involved a rape situation with dynamics very similar to Angela’s real life rape and subsequent sexual assaults. This combination of stimuli coincided with Angela having just reached out to a therapist whom Angela felt comfortable enough with to tell her rape memories to, and thus started Angela’s impactful story of recovery and healing that is bound to impress and inspire all of my SASS listeners. This week’s episode follows two weeks of some educational content that directly applies to Angela’s experience of the formation of trauma memory, amnesia, and implicit memory, as well as the process of deciding whether to tell anyone about her rape and multiple sexual assaults; it’s a real-life practical exercise into the neuroscience side of rape and sexual assault trauma. Please give a listen to this week’s episode, and then make sure you tell everyone you know about SASS so that the podcast continues to grow and reach thousands of listeners. It would be great to hear your thoughts and input on this episode…and whether you found this episode informative and helpful. And, please rate this episode and leave a five-star rating! Your input is appreciated! Also, please remember to do your part to help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault; the best way for you to do that is to Start By Believing; because, we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. Finally, here are some links you might find informative, helpful, and resourceful. Please learn about these people and organizations and support them financially if at all possible. They are there for you! Instagram: @coopscw Instagram: @plcnowhere

Sexual assault is a deeply personal and often traumatic experience that affects millions of individuals worldwide. For survivors, the decision to share their stories with the public is one fraught with complexities and potential consequences. In this episode I’ll help examine and explain the pros and cons of someone telling their sexual assault story to the public, or anyone for that matter, considering both the individual's perspective and the broader societal implications. Here's some of the highlights: Cons of Sharing: 1. Re-Victimization and Trauma 2. Loss of Privacy and Control 3. Impact on Relationships and Careers 4. Secondary Trauma for Loved Ones Pros of Sharing: 1. Empowerment and Healing 2. Raising Awareness and Breaking Stigma 3. Holding Perpetrators Accountable 4. Inspiring Change and Advocacy The decision to share a sexual assault story publicly is deeply personal and complex. While speaking out can expose survivors to potential re-victimization, loss of privacy, and negative consequences for their relationships and well-being, research shows that there are some overwhelmingly important benefits to disclosure that should be strongly considered, including empowering oneself and other survivors, raising awareness, and holding perpetrators accountable. Ultimately what I think is most essential is to support survivors in making informed choices about sharing their stories, respecting their autonomy, and providing them with the resources and support they need to navigate the complexities of disclosure. Creating a culture that values survivors' voices, believes their stories, and prioritizes their healing as we do here at Sexual Assault Survivor Stories is crucial in addressing the pervasive issue of sexual violence and the rape culture that exists in our society. Hopefully this episode helps some of you who are victims or survivors of rape or sexual assault and are struggling with the decision of whether to disclose your experience (to anyone!) or not. I hope you find some answers in listening to this episode! It would be great to hear your thoughts and input on this subject…and whether you found this episode informative and helpful. Please rate this episode and leave me your comments! Your input is appreciated! Please remember to do your part to help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault; the best way for you to do that is to Start By Believing. Because, we all know someone whose life has been affected by rape or sexual assault. In addition, here are some links you might find informative, helpful, and resourceful. Please learn about these people and organizations and support them financially if at all possible. They are there for you! Instagram: @coopscw Instagram: @plcnowhere

Part of the common experience in doing interviews of victims and survivors of rape, sexual assault, and other interpersonal violence, is to hear the person I’m interviewing say that they only remember certain parts of their trauma experience, or that there are parts that they’ve tried really hard to remember, but just can’t. Or say that there are parts of their trauma experience that they wish they could forget, but as much as they keep putting it out of their mind, or try not to think about it, they can’t stop the memories, intrusive thoughts, and nightmares. But why is this happening, on both sides of that horrific experience…wanting to remember, but can’t; wanting to forget, but can’t? In this episode I explain what’s going on, to some degree, keeping in mind that the neuroscience of trauma and memory is complex and full of idiosyncrasies. And some parts of the brain and what’s happening with trauma just haven’t been discovered yet. But the science has some very good, detailed, and reliable answers. Here, I try to put some of it into context for you. I hope it helps. It would be great to hear your thoughts and input on this subject…and whether you found this episode informative and helpful. Please rate this episode and leave me your comments! Your input is appreciated! Please remember to do your part to help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault; the best way for you to do that is to Start By Believing. Because, we all know someone whose life has been affected by rape or sexual assault. Additionally, here are some links you might find informative, helpful, and resourceful. Please learn about these people and organizations and support them financially if at all possible. They are there for you! Instagram: @coopscw Instagram: @plcnowhere

Several months ago I started noticing on my Instagram feed, several posts and reels that were initiated by an organization called Callisto. I was not particularly paying attention to these posts until one day I noticed one that was entitled “Sexual Assault Prevention,” and had the phrases, “Holding perpetrators accountable,” “Consent education,” “Changing the culture,” and “Bystander intervention.” All of these were principles and subjects that I hold dear to my heart and have taught in my many years as a sexual assault investigation trainer and consultant, and still do. I was then and there, suddenly, very interested in Callisto and what they were all about. Throughout the following year I learned more and more about Callisto and knew that eventually I would reach out to them and find out if there was someone on their staff who might be willing to be a guest on this show and tell the world all about the organization so that my audience could become educated about Callisto, and what they had to offer. But also wanted them on my show as a way to help spread the word about Callisto Vault, and how this organization could gain more attention and support, and therefore more participants in the confidential Callisto Vault Matching System. This system allows survivors of rape or sexual assault to safely and confidentially determine whether others have been harmed by the same perpetrator without having to publicly disclose or report their assault to authorities. I reached out to Callisto with my request for someone to be a representative of their organization to be a guest with me on SASS. To my very pleasant surprise, I was set up for an appointment with the CEO of Callisto, Tracy DeTomasi. The greetings and formalities were attended to, and Tracy agreed to be on the show. And what an episode this is…Tracy is the consummate professional, and as I learned, the exceptional choice of the organization to be the CEO of Callisto. (Your opportunity to read the official announcement of Tracy’s 2022 appointment as CEO of Callisto and learn more about her amazing qualifications and past achievements can be found ) This episode will not disappoint! To learn more about Callisto and the phenomenal work they are doing to help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault, check out their website at: Other sites I hope you will check out include:

Activation and discretion warning: This episode contains explicit and graphic descriptions of physical assault, animal abuse, sexual assault, and rape. Caution and discretionary action are required. This episode is not for children. Please use extreme self-care in listening to this episode and if you are activated or triggered and need help, call the national sexual assault telephone hotline at 1-800.656.hope; that’s 1-800-656-4673. A little bit about my guest this week, Merle Yost: Merle Yost is a psychotherapist, author of six books, and teacher. His last book is , and he is here promoting his new workshop series, Seven Steps to Powerful Boundaries. He has been a private practice therapist for over 30 years and specializes in trauma, particularly for men sexually abused as children. He is an Approved Consultant in EMDR, a San Francisco Gestalt Institute graduate, has a Master's Degree in Counseling Psychology: Transpersonal Specialization, and a B.A. in Management. Merle loves to discuss the positive changes that his workshop series makes in many people's lives. This is one of those “hold-on-to-your-hat!” episodes…on several levels! Merle Yost is my guest this week, and he ranks up there as one of the most accomplished professionals I’ve had the pleasure of interviewing and getting to know about his truly mind-blowing life-story. First just let me tell you that Merle dedicated his adult life to becoming educated and skilled at learning the intricate understandings of the human mind and behaviors. The amazing aspect of this achievement is that he did so despite what many people would have considered a future-ending childhood filled with a tremendous amount of physical, emotional, and sexual pain and assault from his father… despite enduring a cult-like childhood of emotional turmoil and abuse from his mother…despite the emotional turmoil of spending much of his youth and young adulthood in a dissociative state. And all the while, suffering from the confusing and embarrassing condition of gynecomastia, which he knew nothing about; only that it brought on an immense amount of teasing and physical abuse. After hearing Merle’s story, you would think that the chances of succeeding in life and accomplishing the dream of becoming a psychotherapist and a marriage and family therapist, as well as an expert in gynecomastia who could help others through their own confusion and shame, would be next to nil. But Merle faced the horror and pain of his childhood and young adulthood, and persevered. He went on to open a psychotherapy practice which became full, almost immediately. He wrote 6 books, several of which became best-sellers. He’s writing his seventh book now. And he wrote, produced, and launched an online video workshop entitled “Seven Steps to Powerful Boundaries.” And he’s now writing his seventh book—a memoire. There’s nothing about Merle that won’t impress and astound you. He’s amazing. And I’m honored to call him friend, and honored that he agreed to be on this show! I hope you’ll listen to this episode, and then that you’ll tell everyone you know that they should listen to it, too! I’m very convinced you won’t be disappointed or sorry that you did! There’s healing in his story for everyone! Here are some ways to learn more about Merle, to subscribe to his video workshop series, and to buy his books: Business Name: Merle Yost, LMFT/Unspoken Boundaries Website: Link to Book on Amazon, Facing the Truth of Your Life: LinkedIn: Instagram: Additional Website: Additional links I hope you’ll check out: https://startbybelieving.org #unspokenboundaries #merleyost #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #retireddetective #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed#safeinharmsway...

In the grand scheme of this podcast, my goal has always been to provide a platform for victims and survivors to tell their stories of rape or sexual assault in a safe environment, to help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape or sexual assault, and to provide my listeners with insights, education, and guidance to help survivors on their healing journey. Additionally, I’ve endeavored to help others, in all walks of life, better understand the dynamics of rape and sexual assault and to bring trauma-informed education to everyone. Caroline Markel Hammond is one of those rare people who comes to this show with a survivor story of a horrific series of rapes and sexual assaults, a phenomenal story of healing, and loads of education and experience on all types of interpersonal violence and trauma. She is also trauma-informed and provides help, guidance, and truly relevant tips and ideas on mitigating post-traumatic stress and prospering on the healing path. On top of all of that, she is the CEO of two non-profit organizations: “Safe in Harm’s Way,” designed to provide immediate assistance and resources for victims and survivors of interpersonal violence, and “Epizon Strategy Solutions,” designed to provide businesses with all sorts of organizational and profit solutions with an emphasis on preventing and handling interpersonal violence in the workplace. The opportunity of having Caroline on this show is a true treasure. So much so, that I asked her if she would be willing to be a monthly guest on SASS. Caroline agreed to the plan, as her schedule allows, and to provide a monthly update on what is happening within Safe In Harm’s Way, and to share with us her progress on her own healing path. I am honored to have Caroline as this week’s guest. You can find out more about Caroline’s non-profit organizations and her work at: https://safeinharmsway.org https://carolinemarkelhammond.com/ Other websites I would appreciate you visiting: https://markel-consulting.com https://placesnowhere.com https://startbybelieving.org https://evawi.org #createpeacefulsolutions #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #retireddetective #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed#safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #ericbarreras #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #baylor

Some might find this episode and think, “This is a shameless plug for Dave’s wife’s cousin.” But the honest truth is, that is not my intention at all! I ran across my wife’s cousin’s Facebook page and saw that she had started a new business. “She” is Tiffany Thomson. The thing that caught my eye was that Tiffany, who I haven’t seen since about 2005 or so, had updated her Instagram profile picture and I noticed that she had recently started a conflict coaching/mediation/public speaking/meditation/training practice called Create Peaceful Solutions…all based on being trauma informed. When I read more about her business, I noticed that she specifically worked with trauma victims and survivors. I was stunned! The only things I remembered from my last contact with her was that she was a fantastic photographer at family reunions, and that she worked in the social services field…in some capacity. So, I reached out to Tiffany on Instagram Messenger and asked her if she might be interested in being on my podcast and asked her to listen to an episode or two, to see if she might be a fit for the show; then we talked by phone, and it became obvious that she was! I was elated that she could be a strong source of information and support for you, my audience. And she was excited about the prospect of providing some information that may be of some help to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault! It was settled, and we recorded this episode just a couple of weeks ago. I’m quite proud of this episode because Tiffany does exactly what I thought she would: provide some great insights about trauma and help to those of you who listen. And, as it works out, I’m not ashamed to push Tiffany’s services of coaching, instructing, providing a keynote, or just offering support to victims and survivors…of any type of trauma. So, I’m providing her email address, phone number, and her website address. She would love to hear from you. And I believe she can help any of you who reach out to her. Thank you all for listening to this episode. Please let me know what you think. Email me with your thoughts about Tiffany’s comments and her coaching service, and about the Sexual Assault Survivor Stories Podcast. I’d appreciate you following me and rating the show. And, if you’re a victim or survivor of rape or sexual assault, and you feel like you are ready to share your story to help further your healing journey, or help someone else on theirs, email me and we’ll discuss the possibility. It would be an honor to talk to you! As always, please do your part to help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault…the best way to do this is to Start By Believing (EVAWI’s campaign!). And please tune in again next week! Here’s how to get a hold of Tiffany: @create_peaceful_solutions (Tiffany’s Instagram username) Ph. 1-615-863-3101 Some other websites I hope you’ll check out:

Activation and discretion warning: These notes and this episode contain explicit and graphic descriptions of kidnapping, physical assault, and rape. Caution and action are required. This episode is not for children. Please use extreme discretion in listening to this episode and if you are activated or triggered and need help, call the national sexual assault telephone hotline at1-800.656.hope; that’s 1-800-656-4673. Imagine being a teenaged gay person living with a father who thinks homosexuals should be killed. And then, when you try to make a connection with another gay 15-year-old, you find out he’s not really 15…he’s closer to 50, and he kidnaps you, beats you, then rapes you. Afterwards, you have no one to report the crime to, and no one to confide in because if you do, your father will know you’re gay. It’s a devastating life, living with this torment for the next 7 years. It is a situation that would cause most people to want to not be alive. That’s what Plamen Draganov thought: that not being on earth any longer would be better than living with his memories and feeling the way he felt. But it wasn’t the end for Plamen. In his early twenties, he found solace in learning Tai Chi. And then he found a mentor to help him in learning how to teach Tai Chi, including the mental processes necessary for practicing Tai Chi correctly…learning how to control one’s mind to control one’s body. Things started to change for Plamen; he started learning about psychology on his own, too. The healing had begun. But healing can be as devastating as the assault…until it’s not. When milestones are reached, and the realizations of shame and guilt are manifested, life can start to get better. It did for Plamen. And it still is; while meeting the qualifications to be a life coach, Plamen also learned that his healing must continue. Listen to Plamen’s episode. You’ll hear him reveal his healing process in a tremendously raw, transparent, and brutally honest way. This is truth in one of the most healing manifestations that I’ve encountered. Plamen offers to help others in several ways: telling his story of being kidnapped, beaten, and raped is one way. Another is through teaching Tai Chi. And he also is a practicing life coach. Here is the bio Plamen provided: “From a degree in Marketing and Management to a profound journey in psychology, Plamen's career is a narrative of transformative change. Choosing to pivot from a conventional career to follow his passion for understanding the human psyche, he has emerged as a guiding light in trauma coaching, blending professional knowledge with his personal victory over life's adversities. Adept in Tai Chi and Chinese martial arts, trained under world-renowned masters, Plamen has earned numerous national and European gold medals. His skill in Tai Chi complements his certification in mindset coaching, specializing in trauma and self-sabotage. This combination offers a comprehensive approach to healing and personal growth. Plamen's life story is integral to his professional identity. Tai Chi was his refuge during challenging times, leading him to his vocation as a trauma coach. He is driven by a mission to ensure that no one feels compelled to live in the shadows of their traumatic past. Client’s praise Plamen for creating an environment of tranquility and understanding. Known for his calm demeanor and insightful questions, he helps clients see new possibilities and paths forward. As a client once said, Plamen helps you find hope and alternative perspectives, making you feel understood and never alone. Currently writing a book, Plamen aspires to share his insights on a global scale. His ultimate goal is to speak on international stages, impacting millions with his story of resilience and hope. Plamen’s mantra, born from his trials, is a message of empowerment: "I’ve been pushed to the edge so many times, I’ve learned to fly." His journey is an invitation for others to discover their inner strength and soar."...

Being in the US Army Reserve requires discipline. And commitment. And top-notch performance. If you fail at any of these there can be serious consequences…including being discharged. One of the requirements is that during “battle assembly” (weekend training) you have to be there; if a Soldier fails to attend on a consistent basis, they can face that discharge. Such was the case of then Sergeant Marisa Saucedo. She failed to show up for battle assembly—a lot. So much so that almost a year had gone by, and Marisa hadn’t shown up for battle assembly. And eventually, she got called in to her commander’s office for a disciplinary review for her unsatisfactory attendance and performance. She was about to be kicked out of the Army Reserve. But fortunately, Marisa had an exemplary commander who asked her what she wanted from the Army…she explained that she wanted to serve her country and remain in the Reserves. Then she told her commander why she hadn’t been coming to battle assembly: that she was in an abusive relationship and that her significant other was forbidding her from attending battle assembly, but that she was going to get out of the relationship. Her commander gave Sgt. Saucedo a second, and final, chance. That was 20 years ago. Today Marisa is a Command Sergeant Major, the second highest rank for an enlisted Soldier. CSM Saucedo is an exemplary Soldier. And she is also a civilian who holds a career as an Army Reserve Sexual Harassment/Assault Response and Prevention (SHARP) Program Director and an Army SARC (Sexual Assault Response Coordinator). Marisa feels like she has the best of both her military and civilian worlds. She loves and excels at her job. Marisa is an extremely articulate and intelligent person…these qualities shine in this episode, and I feel extremely honored and privileged to have her on this show. Because Marisa not only explains what she does as a SARC and Sexual Harassment/Assault Response and Prevention SHARP Program Director, but she also was willing to tell us about her sexual assault and interpersonal violence experience, and about her healing journey. There’s much benefit to be gained in listening to this episode; I hope you listen to this, and that you Start by Believing; because we all know someone whose life has been affected by rape or sexual assault. And finally, please share this episode with everyone you know. #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #USArmyReserve #commandsergeantmajor #sarc #sharp #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed #safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #ashforduniversity #amandacoleman #remembermolly #fightrapeculture #forcescience

If someone is serious about attempting to fulfil a significant, meaningful, and overwhelmingly difficult objective, the effort can often-times feel ineffective, even pointless. Having this type of purpose-filled lifegoal can be exhausting and often will end in frustration long before even a small dent can be made in the predicament. Especially if that objective is being fueled by a large accumulation of the populace who carry long-held misunderstandings of the scope of the problem, confusion on what the definition of the problem is, and/or is blatantly apathetic to the scourge. The measure of frustration is exacerbated if the plague seems to be supported, even if unwittingly, by an under-educated and seemingly indifferent social norm. When that menace is child, adolescent, or adult rape and sexual assault, the individuals striving to combat it must navigate a complex landscape of societal attitudes, legal intricacies, and deeply rooted misconceptions. Addressing such a pervasive and complex issue requires a multifaceted approach that includes education, advocacy, and legislative reforms. It becomes crucial to dismantle the prevailing myths surrounding rape and sexual assault, fostering a culture of empathy and awareness of the impact of trauma. As these dedicated efforts persist, it is imperative to emphasize the importance of community involvement, encouraging conversations that challenge harmful norms and empower survivors. By fostering a collective commitment to change, progress can be achieved, and the fight against sexual violence can evolve into a transformative force for societal well-being. Someone who is focused, intentional, and resolute on finding a corrective pathway to accomplishing such a tremendous and overwhelming mission can easily become exhausted and needs consistent and constant support, both emotionally and practically, to sustain their commitment. The journey towards achieving such a formidable mission demands not only inner strength but also a reliable network of allies, resources, and encouragement. In the face of persistent challenges and setbacks, having a robust support system becomes indispensable, offering the necessary motivation and reassurance to navigate the complexities of the endeavor. In my experiences of investigating the horrific and devastating crimes of rape and sexual assault, on persons of any age, as well as in my work as a trainer/consultant in this field, and now as the host of this podcast, which is dedicated to awareness and healing from these crimes, I have had the pleasure and honor of working with a multitude of both individuals and organizations whose efforts are directly involved in this very goal…reducing the prevalence, and increasing the awareness and positive societal responses, to rape and sexual assault. In fact, I have strived to highlight many of those individuals and organizations on this show. One of those individuals, who has in fact been a guest before, is back this week: Jan Broberg is here. I brought her back again to update us on what she is doing to further all those difficult, yet meaningful efforts to accomplish that which needs to be done to fight rape, sexual assault, and the apathetic societal norms that are pervasive all around us. I brought Jan back on the show as my way of providing an avenue of helping replenish her, even if in a small degree…to provide that very consistent and constant support that I just mentioned; to provide a measure of emotional and practical encouragement to help sustain her and her commitment to victims and survivors of all ages, as she had done for me in agreeing to be on my show and allowing me to be the co-host on her podcast. And to provide you, my listeners, with her ongoing sense of focus, intention, and resolution that this work takes. She’s got it. As do all the people that work with her in her non-profit foundation, and those who are members of her Thrivivors On-line Community. Jan is one of those impressive people...